by Jerry Cole
“I’m going to cum,” Trevor said. That was all he had to say, soon Basil was also cumming inside of him while Trevor came in spurts all over Basil’s chest as they both panted. Basil heard screaming, though he wasn’t sure if it was coming from him or from Trevor, the orgasm spreading through every part of his body, and leaving him a bumbling mess. Trevor got off of him, rolled over, and flopped onto the mattress, groaning as he did.
“Fuck,” Basil said, his eyes closed. “Fuck, that was amazing.”
Trevor purred. It was weird how soft and sweet he was after he had felt so strong and muscular when they had been having sex just a second ago. He leaned his head on Basil’s shoulder and smiled. “You liked that?”
“Yes,” Basil said. “I loved that. That was amazing.”
“Good,” Trevor replied. He kissed Basil’s shoulder and rested his head on him. Basil’s heart rate had just started to go back to normal but that sweet, tender kiss made him dizzy. Except it wasn’t with desire, it was with something else. Basil wasn’t sure what, exactly. He thought he liked it but he wasn’t sure.
He put his arm around Trevor and held him closer. “How was that for you?”
“Incredible,” Trevor said. “You’re really good at this.”
Basil smiled, and he kissed Trevor on the head. “I should go clean up.”
“Or maybe we can just stay like this for a bit,” Trevor said. “Could be nice.”
Basil chuckled softly. “Okay,” he said. “That sounds good.”
Chapter Twenty-One
When Trevor woke up, it was dark outside. The light that had been flooding into the room from the half-open venetian blinds was replaced by the much more subtle glow of the street lamps out on the sidewalk. Basil was still in the same position as before, lying on his back, his mouth half-open. He was breathing deeply and his face moved slightly so he was on top of the pillow in what looked like it would be a comfortable position except his glasses were obviously digging into his skin.
They had both fallen asleep almost instantly after having sex, Trevor noted with some amusement. He hadn’t cleaned up. He’d only taken the condom off his now limp dick. Now the used condom was on his stomach because he hadn’t even thrown it away. It was weird, cute, and hot all at once. Trevor wanted to help him, but now that the moment had passed, it seemed strange to reach out and be intimate with him, even if the intimacy had little to do with actually having sex.
He supposed that ship had sailed.
Trevor swallowed, laying his head back on Basil’s shoulder. Basil was soft and warm under his cheek and Trevor wondered if that was the last time he would get to rest on him like this. He knew they needed to talk and it was urgent, he just didn’t know if he could bring himself to do it.
He would let Basil sleep for a little while longer. Then he would ask him what they were going to do. He was pretty sure he couldn’t keep pretending and his feelings had already been so weird and confusing even before Basil told his parents they were engaged.
Pretend-engaged, Trevor reminded himself. They weren’t actually engaged. They weren’t even a couple. Trevor was probably just an experiment for Basil.
The worst part of it all was he would have been totally and completely okay with it, if it hadn’t been that there was something about the way he felt about Basil. It wasn’t just the situation they were in together. It just made things more complicated. He didn’t think he had ever fallen for a straight guy before, because he was pretty sure Basil still self-identified as straight even if he told his parents he was bi. He heard from his friends who had and he knew it wasn’t a pleasant experience for anyone involved.
The worst, most complicating factor was that Trevor had ultimately slept with his boss. His sexual orientation didn’t matter. Despite wanting to let things cool down, despite trying to get away from him, he had eventually given in to his desires and had sex with his own fucking boss. He had just undermined his entire livelihood for a fuck, as good as it had been, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t good enough to throw everything away for.
Especially because Trevor knew Basil didn’t have feelings for him. At least feelings that weren’t related to the way Trevor made Basil’s dick feel. God, he had been so stupid, thinking he could make it work, that he would have been able to stop himself. He wasn’t able to stop himself from anything. He was at the mercy of his stupid fucking dick even when he was trying his best to be sensible. Even when everything was at stake.
He couldn’t put this off any longer. He didn’t want to, he was scared, but he had to talk to Basil.
He took a deep breath and shook Basil. Just a little, he didn’t actually want to wake him up. It didn’t work, of course, Basil was awake in an instant.
“Hey,” Trevor said, as quietly as he could. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
Of course that was a lie but there was no reason for Basil to know that. Basil smiled at him as he was rolling over. He took his glasses off and yawned. “S’ok,” he said, his voice coated with sleep. “I like waking up to you next to me.”
Trevor breath caught. “You can’t say things like that.”
Basil stretched, his glasses in his hand, and yawned at the same time, shutting his eyes tightly. “Oh, shit,” he said, looking down at his stomach.
He grabbed the condom and threw it in the trashcan by the bed.
Trevor only smiled as he watched Basil.
Once he shook off the sleep, he set his gaze on Trevor again, cocking his head. “I can’t say things that are the truth?”
He was trying to playful. Trevor kind of hated him for it. Why couldn’t he understand this was serious?
“No,” Trevor replied. “You can’t say things that make you sound like you’re actually my boyfriend.”
Basil just kept watching him, looking more confused than anything. Trevor had hoped, fleetingly and stupidly, that telling him about this might hurt his feelings, but of course it hadn’t. It hadn’t done anything but confused him. What exactly was Basil doing to him?
“Why not?” Basil said.
“Because,” Trevor replied. “You’re not my boyfriend, Basil. You’re my boss.”
Basil sighed. “Why do we have to put a label on things?”
Trevor scoffed as he got to his feet. He certainly hadn’t been prepared for this conversation. He was getting progressively more agitated as Basil kept talking. “Because we have to,” he replied, now on the floor and moving away from the bed. “The fact we label what we are allows me to pay my bills, go to auditions, and not have to work overnight shifts at the grocery stores. Because, if you want to be my boyfriend and if you want to be my fiancé, I’m going to need you to propose for real. Not just tell your parents suddenly we’re engaged. We need labels, Basil.”
“But I’m not gay,” Basil replied, shrugging. He was acting as if it was the most natural, normal thing in the world, even though his cock had just been rammed up his asshole a couple of hours ago and he was still covered in Trevor’s sticky cum.
He took a deep breath before he said something stupid like what was actually on his mind.
“Basil,” he said, trying his best to keep his voice calm. “It’s very easy for you to say you don’t need labels. People like me need labels to survive.”
“Like about whether I’m your boss?”
“Sure,” Trevor replied. “Like that. Like me being gay. You get to decide you want to call yourself straight and that’s fine, I’m not going to call that into question because what you decide you are is completely your business and has nothing to do with me.”
Basil raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I understand, but okay…”
Trevor shook his head, waving his hand in front of his face. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “It doesn’t matter that you understand. What does matter is the label we use for both of us, because that affects me.”
“I’m sorry,” Basil said. He sat up and crossed his legs, still looking completely baffled. “I still don’t under
stand.”
Trevor took a deep breath, his hands fists at his sides. As he swallowed, he realized he was still naked and completely and utterly exposed as this conversation continued.
“I need you to tell me,” Trevor said, his voice breaking. “I need you to tell me what I am to you.”
Basil’s eyes widened. “You need me to tell you that right now?”
“Yes,” Trevor replied. “I need you to tell me that right now.”
Basil licked his lips. “I don’t know,” he said.
“You don’t know?”
“Fuck, Trevor,” Basil spat back. “You can’t put me on the spot like this.”
“No. Why not?” Trevor replied. His voice was low and he sounded angrier than he thought he was just a second ago.
“Because you just can’t, okay?” Basil said.
“Just like I can’t suck your dick, huh? Just like we can’t sleep together?” Trevor replied, the bitterness obvious in his voice. “Because those things aren’t exactly true, are they?”
“Trevor…”
“No,” Trevor said, shaking his head. There were tears in his eyes and he felt so stupid about it that he had to turn away. “Just tell me. I should not have to beg you for this.”
Basil got out of bed, walking over to where Trevor was. He put his hand on Trevor’s shoulders and looked straight into his eyes. “Trevor,” he said, his voice steady. “Is this about money?”
Trevor’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
Basil’s face remained impassive. “I’m just saying,” he said. “I know this was unexpected. If I have to pay extra for it, then—”
Trevor scoffed, practically jumping away from Basil. He caught an edge of the bottom of his nightstand with the back of his leg and closed his eyes as he felt the scratch. He didn’t even look at it. He wasn’t worried about that then.
“Tre—”
“Get out,” Trevor said, his voice breaking.
“But—”
“Get out,” Trevor said once again. “Get out of my room. Get out of my house.”
His voice wasn’t raised, he wasn’t shouting. While his voice was normal in volume, it wasn’t normal in tone. He knew he sounded threatening. That was only confirmed when Basil nodded and started to grab his clothes from the floor.
Trevor couldn’t be around him anymore, so he stormed out of his bedroom and locked himself in the bathroom until he heard the front door being open and shut.
***
Basil was confused. He wasn’t just confused, he was hurt. He had never been kicked out of someone’s house like that. He had to climb out of windows and hide in closets before because he always slept around with girls, but he didn’t think he had seen that much hate in anyone’s eyes as they told him to get lost.
He kept playing the conversation over and over in his head. He wasn’t sure where it had gone wrong, though he knew none of it had gone particularly right. He only wanted to go over there to apologize, but then things had spiraled and now it felt like all of his plans had been for nothing. Basil was about to pull out onto the freeway exit that would take him home when he decided to call his sister.
Maybe she would know what to do. Maybe she would know what had gone wrong.
He used the dashboard on his Audi to call her. When she didn’t pick up after five rings and the phone sent Basil to voicemail, he didn’t leave a message. She would call him back when she saw his missed call. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say in his voicemail to her anyway.
He switched off the call and watched the street, trying his best to pay attention.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Trevor was in the kitchen, sitting on the cold tile floor and surrounded by several bottles of beer and a bottle of rum he had consumed by himself. He was vaguely aware he should be dragging himself to the bedroom and sleeping off his terrible decisions, but every time he went in his room he could see Basil’s face. Basil’s face when they had first walked into the bedroom and they had been kissing, his eyes wide and a small smile on his mouth. Basil’s face when Trevor asked him if he wanted to fuck him and how much he had wanted it. Basil’s face when he offered him money because they’d had sex. His room didn’t even feel like his own anymore.
He’d had guys there before, and it hadn’t always ended well, but it had never ended as poorly as it had with fucking Basil.
He leaned back against the cabinet door, bumping his head on the handle. He was vaguely aware he was covered in bumps and bruises, since he hadn’t ended up on the floor voluntarily. He was drunk enough not to be able to get up, but he was sober enough to know he should have. He took a deep breath as he heard the lock click in the hallway. Sage was home, he knew because after Basil had left, he had practically sprinted to close the door behind him, then he made a beeline for the fridge and consumed the last six-pack of bottled beer they had available.
It started as one beer, just to take the edge off. It had become something else after that, though he wasn’t sure exactly what. It was probably because he had been feeling sorry for himself and it seemed sensible at the time, so he kept drinking. Then it just seemed stupid to stop. Of course, it wasn’t as if he had been particularly wise lately. Stupid was just par for the course when it came to the way Trevor was behaving.
Sage put her keys on the little fish they had nailed to the wall in the hallway, the one with the hook, and audibly gasped when she turned around and found him.
“Holy shit,” she said, practically running to where he was. “What happened?”
He looked at her and smiled. He was sure he looked like shit and he was almost sure she was going to kick him out when she heard what had happened with his brother. After all, Trevor was pretty positive family came first. Trevor wasn’t family. He was only her roommate, even if they were the best of friends. “It’s a long story.”
“Yeah, my plans just got canceled,” she said as she took off her coat and her scarf. She put them somewhere but Trevor couldn’t tell where. “It’s eight pm on a Sunday night and you’re, by far, the drunkest I’ve ever seen you. Do you need me to call an ambulance?”
“An ambulance? Because I’m drunk?”
“You don’t look well,” she replied. She sat down next to him, her shoulders brushing against him as she did. “What’s going on?”
He grimaced. “You should ask your brother.”
“My brother? What did he do?”
Trevor chuckled. He knew it wasn’t the time for laughing, but he couldn’t help himself. He was probably nervous, though he wasn’t sure why. “He didn’t do anything,” Trevor said after he was done chuckling. “I mean, not really. It was something we did together.”
Sage grabbed his hand. “Tell me.”
“What if you stop liking me?”
“My brother can be an asshole,” she replied. “I have a feeling this is one of those times.”
Trevor sighed, burying his face in his hands. He knew it seemed quite dramatic. He also knew he wasn’t going to be able to do anything else but that. “It’s fine,” he said. “It’s probably my fault.”
She tutted. “You still haven’t told me what happened.”
“We slept together,” Trevor said.
“Oh, shit.”
“Right,” Trevor said, trying to choke back the tears in his eyes. He felt like crying, but he knew he shouldn’t cry in front of her.
“It didn’t go well?”
He chuckled dryly. “Oh, it went well,” he said. “It was fucking fantastic. Some of the best sex I’ve ever fucking had in my entire life.”
She seemed shocked at that. “Really?”
“Yes, Sage, really,” he replied. “Which just makes it even more fucking terrible. Don’t you get it?”
She shrugged.
“After we had sex,” Trevor said, leaning his head back against the counter and banging his head against the handle again, which he ignored. “He offered me more money.”
She blinked, her jaw falling open. “He did
what?”
“He offered me more money after I got upset when we’d had sex,” Trevor said, his voice shaky. It sounded weird when he spoke the words aloud, like it was a lie.
“No, he didn’t,” Sage replied quietly.
Trevor shrugged. “He said we weren’t going to have sex,” Trevor said quietly, though this time he felt like he was talking to himself more than he was talking to her. “We had a discussion on boundaries. Then we banged.”
“Oh, wow.”
“But not before he let me blow him,” Trevor said. “Then I freaked out, left his place, and he came over and we had sex.”
Sage blinked again. “Then he offered you money?”
“Yes,” Trevor said. “So, I kicked him out. I know this is your apartment too but—”
“Hey,” Sage said, putting her arms around him. “You were totally right to kick him out.”
Trevor took a deep breath and lay his head on Sage’s shoulder. She smelled like menthol cigarettes and weed. “Thank you,” he said as he closed his eyes, hot tears sliding down his cheek.
“It’s okay,” she said. “Do you want me to kick his ass?”
Trevor smiled. “No,” he replied. “But I don’t want to see him again, okay?”
“Okay,” Sage said. “Don’t worry. I gotcha.”
That was some comfort, however small. “Really?”
“Yes,” she said. “Really. I promise.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Basil hadn’t planned on getting drunk but there were only alcoholic things in his fridge and he couldn’t be bothered to go get some food, even if it meant walking to the Walker mansion. He didn’t want to see his parents. He didn’t want to see anyone. He had been nursing a beer, staring at the ceiling and going over the conversation over and over again in his head. He found Trevor’s phone and wallet on the coffee table of his living room and he put them aside. He would probably have to give them to Sage because he didn’t think Trevor was going to want to see him again.