“Well, I’m no Dr. Laura, but by the way you described things I would say you were really starting to feel something too. Crazier things have happened. It isn’t just cheesy soap opera stuff. When you meet someone really special I think you know it. I doubt it will ever happen to me, but one can hope,” Liza said.
“I don’t know. I hear what you are saying, and it scares me how much sense you are actually making, but I think right now I just want to wait and give him space. If he wants to find me he will.”
“Ok, and I resent that remark; I always make perfect sense,” Liza said before sticking her tongue out at Ember. “Are you going back to the auction? I mean you are going to make so much bank there!”
“Yeah, I know. The money would be great, but I’m almost afraid this will happen again.”
“You think you are going to meet the man of your dreams every single night?”
Ember laughed. “I guess that is unlikely. But I might see Zander again.”
“Well, then if he wants more he will have to cough up more dough,” Liza replied.
Ember looked at her shocked. “Now that really does make me sound like a prostitute!” She laughed.
Liza thought a moment. “Well, you are one of the highest paid ones.”
Ember hit her playfully on the arm again. “You are so bad!”
“I know this,” Liza replied. “And how soon before you help me get a job there? I would like to make twenty grand in one night.”
“Well, I will do my best. It is a travesty they did not put you in the auction. But it might take me some time to grease the wheels. Besides the woman who runs it, Vienna, she is a bit of a jerk. I can’t stand her.”
“Ok, well I know you will do your best. That’s all I ask.”
Ember smiled and poured another cup of coffee.
The buzzer rang right then and Liza answered it.
“Yeah, I have a delivery for Ember Rogerson?”
“Ok, come on up,” Liza said.
“Delivery?” Ember asked her while they waited. “Who would send me something?”
“Oh, I can think of someone…”
“Really? You think so?”
They got their answer a few minutes later when the knock at the door came. Standing in the doorway were two guys from a flower shop. Behind them were six dozen roses.
After they left Liza broke into a hysterical laugh.
“Wow, these are awesome. Did you tell him that Roses were your favorites?” Liza asked.
“No. The topic of flowers never really came up. I don’t even know it’s from him,” Ember said.
Liza rolled her eyes. “Oh, wake up! Who else would it be?”
Ember locked eyes with her a second and then they both burst out laughing.
“What does it say on the card?” Liza asked.
It was then that Ember noticed each bouquet of roses had a small card attached to them, each card was numbered on the back as well and folded over neatly so it had to be opened to be read.
Ember read the cards one at a time making her way through each dozen.
“Do You Want To Cum ?”
Ember held the cards up to Liza so she could read the same message. Both girls were now laughing hysterically.
“Wow I think you have answered your questions,” Liza said.
“Not really. I mean this is kind of neat and clever, but I don’t know what I want to do.”
“Well, that is something you just have to decide for yourself. I mean, if you want my advice I would say to give this guy another shot. He obviously likes you.”
“Yeah, but for what?” Ember said. “Is he just wanting to ride the train for free now, or does he actually think we could have something real going on?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. That is something you will have to ask him.”
“Ugh. Why is this so hard? I don’t know what to do here.”
“I think you need to just call him and see if this is what you both want. It can’t hurt to talk to him, can it?”
“No, but if I call him after that message he is going to think that I only want to do that one thing. And this is not through the auction, so it’s no longer a business relationship. Does he want a friend with benefits kind of thing? I’m just very confused about all of this right now and it’s starting to make my head hurt.
“You should just go for it,” Liza said. “You won’t know until you call him and see what he wants. Instead of trying to figure it all out on your own, why don’t you just talk to him?”
“I think I’m afraid,” Ember said.
“Afraid of what?”
“I am afraid that I will surrender to whatever he wants because I want him so badly I can’t say no to it. If he just wants sex then I will agree to it because every single cell in my body is aching to be touched by him again. I can’t get the way we are together out of my mind. But I don’t want to start out like this hoping he will eventually decide he wants more later.”
“Ok, that’s understandable. But you have to think about what is best for you and not be afraid to stick to your guns. You have more control over yourself than that.”
“I’ve always thought so, but after last night I’m not sure what kind of control I really have over myself. Not when I’m with him. I meant what I said about becoming addicted to someone. The more time I spend with him the more addictive it’s going to be. But addiction is not love; it’s dependence. I can’t allow myself to be that way with someone who doesn’t feel the same way back.”
“Just call him. You have to trust yourself enough to not get involved in something that is not going to be right for you. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“It’s funny, but that is what Zander said.”
“He sounds like a smart guy,” Liza joked. “With sending these roses and reaching out to you it seems to me that he really cares. I mean it took a bit of thought to put this together. I imagine if he was really just looking for a booty call or something he would have just texted you or called you. Maybe he just thought it was too clever of an idea to not use.”
Ember smiled. “You know you are really pulling for this to happen, aren’t you?”
“Well, yeah. I want to see you happy again. It’s been a while since you have been really happy.”
Ember thought a moment as she sipped her coffee. “Yeah, it has been a while.”
13
Zander
Zander sipped the bourbon and looked down at his phone sitting on the coffee table. He was in his penthouse apartment enjoying the quiet solitude that he thrived on. It had been a very busy, chaotic week with work and he’d fallen far behind on his sleep. He did this routinely for weeks upon weeks, but eventually it did catch up with him and he needed a day off to just relax and be with himself. These days usually consisted of his morning workouts, a healthy breakfast, and some meal prepping for the weak which he enjoyed doing himself. He could have hired someone, but cooking often relaxed him and calmed him down. He loved seeing all of his meals for the weak filling up the fridge ready for his routine feedings. He found that by doing this it left a decent amount of room in his diet for the occasional consumption of junk food and the excessive use of alcohol. But he never really told anyone about that.
He had been thinking about Ember ever since she left last night. He hated the way he’d left things and he knew that she had to be very confused about what his intentions were. Hell, he was confused about what his intentions were. The time with her had been wonderful and he could not have imagined in his wildest dreams that the evening would have gone that well, but after it was over he found himself doing what he did with every woman and kicking her out of his life as fast as possible.
But this time it was different. He really cared about Ember. The more he thought about it the more he confirmed that truth to himself and the more frightened he became about everything. He had a very smooth life that he enjoyed and asking someone to really come and be a part of it threatened this existenc
e he’d carved out for himself somehow. He had no idea how exactly or why he so adamantly felt that way, but it was shaking him to his very core and he did not know how to get rid of it.
And he knew that he could not get rid of the way he really felt. Ember was the embodiment of everything he’d ever thought about what love was and could be, what the type of woman who could love him would be. And he saw inside of her heart when they were together. He saw the connection in her eyes.
Now he had to hope to salvage it. That was why he sent her the flowers and gave her the message. He hoped she would think the message was cute and a bit endearing, but the more he thought about it the message itself was confusing and it might make her think he just wanted sex.
Of course, he’d been thinking about sex with her again nonstop. He’d even had to take care of himself in the shower earlier as he thought of her. The woman was an incredible lover, by far the best he’d ever had and he’d been with countless. To think of all the nameless, faceless women in his past would boggle the mind. What had he been thinking just running through night after night of indiscriminate sex with any attractive woman who would have him?
Now that he had a woman he really cared about in his life he did not know how to treat her. He’d proven that last night. Now he had to find a way to redeem himself, but he had to make sure that he was not wimpy and apologetic about it. That wasn’t his style. He’d made a mistake, he was willing to own up to it and he wanted another chance. But he was not about to beg for anyone about anything. That trick was not in his repertoire.
He had sent the flowers that morning and had received confirmation that they were delivered about an hour before. He figured that Ember might not call him back right away. After the stunt, he pulled she was probably feeling a bit hurt and maybe feeling that her heart had been betrayed. He understood that, but he knew that eventually she would come around and call him.
Zander had been with a lot of women and in that time, he had learned a few things about them. He wasn’t always proud of the way he treated women and there had been times he’d apologized for some of his oafish behavior, but he did it in the right way. He sure as hell didn’t beg or plead, he didn’t grovel; no, he basically expressed interest and if she wanted to express interest back it was up to her.
They always came around. He knew that women responded to strength and not weakness. He did not really know how to be weak, but due to this he often lacked compassion. That was something he had sworn to himself to work on, but so far had been unable to fit into his schedule. Somehow, he thought his lack of compassion actually somehow created a deeper attraction with women. He didn’t fully understand this, but it was his experience anyway.
He finished the whiskey and was pouring another glass when the phone rang. It was Ember. He smiled and finished pouring the drink then reached out and answered the phone just before it went to voicemail.
Ember was excited to hear from him as he answered the phone. The sound of her sweet, jovial voice was enough to put him in a good mood for the rest of the day. It had only been a matter of hours, but he missed her terribly and the second he heard her speak he realized just how much. But he tried to hold it back and keep her from finding out.
“So, how about I come over and we go do something fun?” Zander asked.
“Sure, that sounds great,” Ember replied.
Within a half hour he was at her door with a sexy, expensive gown he’d had picked out for her with matching shoes, and some jewelry for her to wear that is just her size. She was flabbergasted that he was able to find out her size and everything. He told her that he would never reveal his secrets. Truthfully, he had a friend named Jamier who was a fashion designer. He was able to take a picture of someone and tell you their exact measurements just from sight. It was a pretty uncanny thing to see, actually.
Ember went to get ready. Zander thought that he would be meeting her roommate and best friend that he’d heard a bit about last night but Liza had already gone out for the day. This was just as well; it gave him more time to focus solely on her and the plans he had in store.
Once in the car Ember asked him how he knew that she would call him.
Zander looked over at her and smiled, “They always do.”
He knew that was about the most arrogant thing he could have said right then, but the mood struck him and he went with it.
The drive out to the Fielding House was a nice and peaceful drive. He’d always enjoyed it which was part of the reason he had decided not to order a limo. Ben deserved a much-needed night off anyway after taking him around all week to this business meeting and that business meeting. The guy was really invaluable and Zander hoped he realized how much he appreciated all that Ben did for him.
Ember was fairly quiet during most of the drive. He could have made attempts at conversation but he was enjoying the silence as well. It was nice to be able to just be with someone without feeling the need to fill up everything with conversation or some sort of sound. The only sound that he did enjoy on some of these long drives was the radio which he kept turned on a low volume, just enough to provide some nice humming background music.
By the time they reached the restaurant though they were both engaged in some interesting conversations about their misspent youth. Apparently, Ember was a tomboy growing up and she’d gotten involved in some zany adventures. He did not dare tell her some of the really bad things he did as a kid. It was probably tame compared to the things that some kids did, but he did not want to take any chances now that he had Ember with him again.
Not that he was nervous, or at least not anymore. When he first sent the roses, he did not know for sure if she would call. It was possible that she would blow him off, but he had to try. And now that he thought about it, if the flowers hadn’t worked then he would have gone ahead and tried something else.
He wasn’t sure what that something else might have been, but he definitely would have kept trying. That was just in his tenacious nature.
“Wow, this place is incredible,” Ember said.
“Yeah, I used to come here a lot, sometimes I still do if I’m trying to woo a client or something.”
“Clients? Yeah, I’m sure you only woo clients here…” Ember joked.
Zander smiled. “Hey, I have to live, right?” he said.
She smiled.
The waiter came and Zander ordered for the both of them. He’d politely ascertained what Ember was interested in based on what she was thinking when she looked over the menu. He ordered two steaks medium rare, with a basket of potatoes covered in the house sauce, and a large salad.
“Wow, that sounds good,” Ember said. “How did you know I like my steak that way?”
Zander smiled and shrugged. “It was a lucky guess.”
He had found that most people ate their steak that way and that was how he ordered his; if she wanted to change it then she could have.
“So, what did you mean when I asked you earlier how you knew I would call? Remember, you said that they always do. Did you let it slip that you do this sort of thing a lot? Are you some kind of player or something?”
Zander laughed at the barrage of questions as Ember leaned in slightly with that inquisitive manner of hers. She was asking all valid questions and she had a right to know but he also had a right to not tell her. What he did with women before he met her was his own business and if they ended up as an actual couple then this information would still remain his secret if he wanted it too.
But he decided he had nothing to hide.
“It’s not really a secret that I’ve always love women,” Zander said. “It is my second passion right behind money.”
“Oh, I see,” Ember said.
“You will see,” Zander replied. “I may have to show you what happens to sexy girls who ask too many questions.”
Ember tried to remain serious but she was already starting to crack a smile. She wanted to be tough and probe him as if she was trying to decipher what sort of game he might b
e playing (assuming he was playing a game, which he did not feel he was). It was funny really.
“I might take you up on that later,” Ember said.
“I might just take you later,” Zander teased.
Suddenly he felt something pushing against his crotch. Before he even had time to react he already knew what it was. Ember had her foot out of her shoe, her leg stretched across the table and she was now playing footsy with his main appendage.
And it felt good. He was already starting to get rigid and hard just by the sight of Ember sitting across from him and her flirty little behaviors that he found so adorable, so sexy. And now she was initiating physical contact to his organ. He was growing harder by the second. Her smile seemed to widen more all the time
Zander tried not to think about the people who might discover this, but his mind would not focus on hardly anything else. It was not obvious by any stretch but it was one of those things that it was almost impossible to convince your subconscious was not obvious to everyone else around you. He took several deep breaths and leaned into her foot to enjoy the sensation and the pleasure of her foot playing with his shaft.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” Zander asked.
“Oh, yes I am. I’m enjoying this very much.”
“I bet you are getting nice and wet for me, too…” Zander said.
Ember’s breathing quickened as her mind locked into his own dirty talk.
“Oh, I might be…” Ember said.
Zander glanced down at the way her dress made her large, soft cleavage pop out. He imagined it just going that extra step and coming out of her dress completely. She had the most magnificent breasts he’d ever seen. And he wanted to touch them so badly right then.
“So, last night, how many times did you come?” Zander asked her.
Ember smiled. “How many times do you think I did?”
“I’m not totally sure. I only know of the finale and maybe one other one, but I’m not definite on it.” Zander tried to keep his voice normal and steady. He wanted to do nothing but moan in pleasure and take care of his primary issue right then, but without a place to do that he was going to have to just remain calm.
Gunner (The Bad Disciples MC Book 1) Page 23