by Lynn, Sandi
“I took my first ice skating lesson when I was two years old.”
Immediately, Logan looked up at me. “You skate?”
“Yes. Now let me tell my story. Questions can come after.”
“Sorry. Go ahead.”
“My mom loved to ice skate. She said there was no feeling in the world like having your feet glide over the smoothness of the ice as if you were flying. Like I said, I took my first lesson when I was two. By the time I was four, I had a personal coach. I started competing at the age of five, and at the age of ten, I placed first in the U.S. Junior Championship. When I was thirteen, I took second place at the World Championships and when I was fourteen, I won the gold. My next stop was the U.S. Olympics. Winning that gold medal secured me a spot on the team. One night, my mom and I were on our way back to the hotel in Minneapolis after a competition. My dad had to leave the competition early to catch a flight to Texas for a business meeting he had the next morning. I remember stepping out into the snow and looking up as the flakes hit my face. The car service my dad hired was waiting for us and I remember my mom asking the driver if it was safe to drive. He assured her the roads were fine. As he was driving us to our hotel, he hit a patch of ice coming around a curve and the car spun out of control several times. As the car was spinning, a truck plowed into the side and pushed us into a guardrail. That’s all I remembered about the accident. When I woke up in the hospital, I was paralyzed from the waist down.”
“I’m sorry, Brooke.”
“Don’t be. Everything happens for a reason, right? If that wouldn’t have happened to me, I wouldn’t be enjoying the fine company of you.” I gave a small smile.
“How old were you when the accident happened?”
“Fourteen. It happened a few months after I won the gold and found out I was on the USA team.”
“What about your mom? Was she okay?”
“My mom died a week after the accident. She had a brain aneurysm that ruptured.”
“I’m really sorry.”
I tilted my head as I set the knife down. “Thank you. I appreciate it. Are you finished yet? Dinner’s just about ready.”
“Yeah.” The corners of his mouth curved into a sweet smile.
“Good. Wheel your ass over here.”
Taking down two plates and grabbing some silverware from the drawer, I set them down on his lap.
“You can set the table while I serve.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He turned his wheelchair around and wheeled back to the table.
“Rule number four: never ever in your entire existence call me ‘ma’am.’” I smiled.
“Right. Sorry. So are you going to finish your story?”
I placed the food on the table and took a seat across from him. “I’ll tell you more when the time is right.”
“Huh? Why not now?”
“Because I want to talk about you. Tell me all about what drove you to play hockey in the first place. I want to know what was inside you that was so strong that you followed your dream.”
* * *
Logan
“My dad took me to my very first Rangers game when I was six years old. I remember sitting there, mesmerized by the entire game. The way the players had so much power on the ice fascinated me. Not only by the way they raced up and down it, but the power of the sticks they held in their hands. I wanted to feel that kind of power and the power of shooting that puck right into the net. The first time they scored a goal in the game, the crowd roared, and I remember looking around at the spectators and seeing the smiles across their faces. From that day on, I made it my mission and life dedication to play in the NHL and become somebody. I wanted to be the one to put a smile on all those people’s faces. After that game, I told my mom and dad I wanted to learn how to skate. My brothers laughed at me and called me a pussy.” I chuckled. “I didn’t tell them at first I wanted to play hockey. I took it one step at a time, and I learned to skate first. But my dad knew, and that Christmas, he bought me my first hockey stick. I joined a hockey league and it was full force from then on. After my mom died and my dad became a full-time alcoholic, playing hockey was a way for me to take out my anger. I took it out on the ice instead of people, with the exception of the players on the opposing team. If it wasn’t for my aunt and uncle, I’m not sure I would have made it. I hit some rough patches along the way, but they made sure I stayed on track.”
“I’m sorry for the loss of your mom and I’m sorry about your dad. Did he drink much before she died?”
“An occasional beer here and there. She did everything for him and he couldn’t handle her being gone. My brothers and I tried to help him, but he didn’t want to be helped. Ironically, he stopped drinking a few months ago, started attending AA meetings, and is now dating his sponsor, Maggie.”
“Good for him. That’s a good thing, right?”
I shrugged. “I guess. He’s trying to be a dad again and Maggie is a nice woman. It’s good to see him sober, although I can’t forget the things he did and said over the past eighteen years.”
As Brooke and I ate our dinner and continued to talk, there was a knock at the door.
“Are you expecting someone?” she asked.
“No. Are you?”
She gave me a small grin as she got up from her seat. “No. But I’ll go see who it is.”
As I took another bite of my pasta, I froze when I heard Bruce’s voice.
“How are you doing, Logan?” he asked as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
“Living the dream, Bruce.” I spoke sarcastically. “What brings you by?”
Bruce dropping by worried me. I could tell by the tone in his voice that he wasn’t here with good news. He sighed as he took the seat across from me.
“Listen, Logan, the other companies decided it was in their best interest to drop you. I’m sorry. I tried my best. But with the doctors saying that you’ll never play hockey again and learning that Nike dropped you, they got real nervous real fast. You disappeared and no one has heard a word from you. You know they don’t like that shit.”
I clenched my fist as the anger brewed inside me and I felt my life slipping away from me.
“This is bullshit, Bruce!” I shouted. “We don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t even have my cast off yet.”
“You need to listen to me very carefully, Logan. I spoke with Coach Gene and he didn’t have the balls to tell you this yet, but he’s giving you until the fall to recover. If you are still unable to play hockey by time the next season starts, he has no choice but to replace you. The pressure’s on him now.”
Brooke could sense the explosion that was about to emerge, so she got up from her chair and clasped my shoulders from behind.
“Aren’t you just the bearer of all bad news?” she spoke to Bruce.
“I’m sorry, but I have no choice.”
“You can tell your people that Logan will be back on the ice in the fall.”
Bruce arched his brow at me and then looked at Logan. “I’m happy that your girlfriend has so much faith in you.”
“I’m not his girlfriend. I’m his physical therapist and I’m the one who will help him get back on the ice.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was working with a physical therapist.”
“He starts physical therapy tomorrow and he will hold a press conference. Set it up and he’ll be there.”
Bruce got up from his seat and placed his hand on my arm. “I’ll call you with the day and time. It’s the right thing to do, Logan.”
The only thing I could do was give him a nod as I tightly clenched my fist. After he left, I looked at Brooke with anger.
“How the fuck could you tell him that I’ll be back on the ice? You don’t know that, and I’m not doing that press conference!” I yelled as I wheeled myself back to my bedroom.
“Because you will be back on the ice and the press conference is something you need to do. Not just for your fans and your team, but for yourself. I won’
t stand by and let you destroy your career any further,” she yelled from the other room.
Climbing into bed, I was full of rage. Losing my endorsements confirmed my career was over regardless of what Brooke said. I was happy she had so much faith in me because I had zero. There was no way in hell that I would be able to play again. Brooke had too much confidence in me and I appreciated her for that, but it pissed me the hell off at the same time that she got my hopes up.
Chapter 12
Brooke
Before heading to bed, I stopped by Logan’s room and he was sound asleep. He looked so peaceful, but I knew he was far from it. Far from the life he once knew only a couple of months ago. I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over me. I couldn’t stop thinking about how angry he was. But I saw something more than anger in his face. I saw fear. A fear that I knew all too well. I closed my eyes to get some sleep before tomorrow came. Logan getting his cast off was going to be the start of the painful hell that was to come.
As I tried to wheel Logan out of the apartment, he told me to back off. It was obvious that he was still pissed off at me for last night.
“Are you ready for this?” I walked beside him as he wheeled himself to the elevator.
“No,” he snapped.
“Do me a favor. Save your anger for rehabilitation. Not for me.”
“Whatever, Brooke.”
I rolled my eyes as we took the elevator down to the lobby and out the doors of the building. After I helped him from his wheelchair and into the black sedan his brother, Brandon, sent, I climbed in on the other side. Once we reached the hair salon, I helped Logan out of the car and into the building where we were greeted by his hairstylist, Henry.
“Logan Jackson. Look at you. Good lord, I have my work cut out for me.” He gave a friendly smile.
“Hey, Henry. It’s good to see you. This is Brooke, my physical therapist.”
“Nice to meet you, darling,” he spoke as he took a few strands of my hair between his fingers. “You have beautiful hair.”
“Thank you.” I smiled.
He took the wheelchair from me, wheeled Logan to his station, and helped him into the chair. I thumbed through a magazine while Henry worked his magic.
“Voila!” I heard him speak as he wheeled Logan back to me.
I looked at him and smiled. “And he’s back.”
Logan ran his hand through his hair. “It feels good. Thanks, Henry.”
He was so damn sexy. I took in a deep breath as my thoughts escaped me. Thoughts that alluded to the fact that I was incredibly attracted to him.
“Are you ready to go get that cast off?”
“I guess as ready as I’ll ever be.”
* * *
Logan
Pulling up to the medical building, Brooke helped me out and I wheeled myself to the elevator that went up to the tenth floor where my doctor’s office was located. Upon entering the waiting room, I saw my brothers sitting in the chairs.
“Hey, bro. Look at you. All cleaned up.” Owen smiled as he grabbed my hand and gave me a light hug.
“Hey, Logan,” Brandon followed. “Dad wanted to be here, but he couldn’t get off work. He said if it’s okay, he’ll drop by your place later.”
“It’s good to see you guys. Thanks for coming.”
After signing myself in, we were immediately called and taken back to a large room.
“Finally going to lose that eyesore,” Owen spoke as he tapped on my cast.
“Yeah. It’s going to feel weird not having it on after all this time. But I’m happy to finally be getting rid of it.”
The door opened and Dr. Morgan walked in. “You ready to do this?” he asked.
“I sure am. Let’s get this over with, doc.”
As I looked over at Brooke, I expected to see a smile on her face, but instead, she had a somber look that worried me. I focused my attention back on the doctor as he began to remove my cast. Nervousness crept up inside me as he sawed through it. When I glanced over at Brooke again, she looked away. Something was bothering her, and I needed to know what it was.
“And there we are,” Dr. Morgan spoke as he lifted off my cast.
The smell that radiated from the cast was repulsive. My heart started to race as I looked at my leg. All my muscle mass had significantly diminished. I gulped. My leg was smaller than my other one. I sat there as a look of pain swept over my face.
“Bro, you okay?” Owen asked as he took a step closer to me.
Brooke got up from the chair and placed her hand on my arm. I pulled away.
“Don’t,” I shouted.
“Logan, calm down,” Brandon said.
“Calm down? Can’t you see what my leg looks like? I can’t feel anything, doc. Why does my leg feel so numb? It’s probably from just being locked up in that cast, right?”
He looked down for a brief moment and Brooke answered my question.
“It’s the nerve damage, Logan.”
“I’m going to run another EMG,” Dr. Morgan spoke.
“Why?” Brooke asked.
He looked at her in confusion for a moment before answering her question.
“To assess the nerve damage.”
“But wasn’t one done the night of the accident?” she continued.
“Well, yes.”
“If anything, the damage couldn’t have gotten any worse, right?”
“I suppose. The damage was already extensive as it was.”
“Okay, so why would you run another EMG knowing that nothing has changed?”
“I’m sorry, but who are you?” He cocked his head at her.
“Brooke Alexander. Logan’s physical therapist.”
“I see.”
“Do the damn test, Dr. Morgan,” I spoke as I shot Brooke a look.
“All right. I’ll go get my nurse and we’ll get you set up.” He walked out of the room.
“Care to explain why you didn’t want me to have that test done?” I asked her in a sharp tone.
“Did you forget the rule about trusting me?” she snapped. “If you think anything has changed for the better, it hasn’t, and you don’t need some damn test to tell you any different. All it’s going to do is piss you off even more and I was trying to spare you that.”
“But you don’t know that for sure.”
She put her hand up. “You’re right, Logan. I guess I don’t.” She sat back down in the chair.
The nurse walked into the room and got everything set up for Dr. Morgan. Once she was finished, she stepped out and Dr. Morgan stepped in and began the test. Looking over at Brooke, I could see the sadness in her eyes as she stared at the monitor, and I knew right away that things weren’t any different.
“I’m sorry, Logan, but nothing has changed. The nerves in your leg are still severely damaged.”
“What about surgery?” Brandon asked.
“To be honest, with the extent of the damage, I’m not sure surgery would even help at this point. Nerves can regenerate themselves, but it will take many years and, even then, they won’t be fully functional.”
“So you don’t believe he can fully recover, Dr. Morgan?” Brooke stood up.
“No. I’m sorry. The damage is too severe. Even with the amount of physical therapy you can give him, I’m afraid he’ll never be able to get back on the ice. This condition can be managed but not cured. Being a physical therapist, you should already know that. I’m sorry, Logan. I wish I had better news for you. My best advice is to have your therapist do what she can to make you comfortable.”
I had no clue why Brooke would even ask that, and it really pissed me off. Dr. Morgan walked out and Brooke looked over at me.
“Remember my rule about not listening to what the doctors tell you. Let’s get home and get that leg cleaned up.”
“How the fuck am I supposed to walk when I can’t feel my leg?” I shouted. “I’m not getting back in that fucking wheelchair!”
“Logan.” Brandon wa
lked over and placed his hand on my shoulder.
I jerked away from him. “Don’t, Brandon.”
Brooke left the room and returned moments later with a pair of crutches.
“Really? You think I’m using those?” I spoke in a sharp tone.
“You don’t have a choice. Now get up and let’s go.” She grabbed hold of my arm. “They’re temporary.”
I grabbed the crutches from her and carefully lifted myself from the table.
Saying goodbye to my brothers, I climbed into the sedan and Brooke slid in next to me. The ride back to my apartment was silent. Apparently, she didn’t have anything to say. She was pissed and I wasn’t standing for it. She had no reason to be so angry. I was the one who had a reason.
“What the hell is your problem? Why are you giving me the silent treatment?” I asked as she stuck the key into the lock.
“I don’t have a problem. I’m giving you your space.” She held the door open for me.
“Why?”
Throwing the keys on the table, she turned and looked at me.
“Because you’re extremely upset. I knew this would happen if you had that test done. Why do you think I said there was no need for it? You didn’t need to be reminded about how serious things with your leg are and you most certainly didn’t need to hear the doctor say that you’ll never step on the ice again.”
The way she stood there and stared at me with her blue eyes made me tremble. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her right at that moment. To taste her lips and feel how soft they would be when pressed against mine. As angry as I was about what the doctor said, her being with me at this moment made me forget everything. As I placed my hand on her cheek, she slowly closed her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I know I haven’t said it yet but thank you for being here.”
She opened her eyes and softly spoke, “You’re welcome.” Taking my hand from her cheek, Brooke brought it to her lips. “Now let’s get you in the shower and get that leg cleaned up.”
Chapter 13