by Lynn, Sandi
“I’ll never forget the feeling when I first walked into this place after the accident. I was so scared that I started to cry.” She skated around the ice, doing figure eights. “After sitting in that very spot you are for over three hours, I finally got the courage to step out on the ice. You’d think I’d never skated a day in my life. I held on to the wall as if it were my life support. I shook and I felt like I was going to pass out. The anxiety that took over me was awful. So I know how you’re feeling right now, Logan, and I didn’t expect anything less. I’ll wait for as long as it takes you to get the courage to come out here and join me.”
“I’m not ready, Brooke.”
“You are ready, Logan. You’re just letting your fear of not being able to get back out here and being able to do everything you once did stop you.”
She was right. Fuck. She hit the nail on the head. If I went out there and couldn’t become Lightning Logan the minute my blades hit the ice, I’d feel like a failure, and that was something I wasn’t ready to face yet.
“Baby steps, Logan. Baby steps.” She smiled as she did a triple jump.
She was so graceful, like a swan gliding across the lake on a beautiful sunny day. Seeing her skate like that made me so proud of her and everything she had overcome. I knew the courage to get out there was somewhere inside me, but I had yet to find it.
Skating over to me, she smiled as she held out her hand.
“I’ll be here to catch you if you fall. If you go down, I go down with you.”
“Brooke.” I slowly shook my head.
“Everything you want is on the other side of that fear, babe.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. You should have just taken me to the gym.” I got up and walked away.
Stepping outside the arena, I inhaled deeply. She shouldn’t have brought me here. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to face the fact that the moment I stepped out on that ice, I wouldn’t be the same person I used to be: Lightning Logan.
“Get in the car,” Brooke harshly spoke as she threw her bag in the back seat.
She had no right to give me an attitude.
“I want to go to the gym,” I said as I climbed in and shut the door.
“We are.”
“You have no right to be mad at me, Brooke.”
“I’m not mad, Logan. I’m pissed! And you want to know why? Because you don’t know what it means to take baby steps. Do you really think that the minute you stepped on the ice, you’d be this hockey hero again? It takes time and practice. You’re letting your pride stand in your way.”
“That’s bullshit,” I shouted. “I know all about baby steps! It’s been nothing but baby steps the whole fucking time! So you can sit there and be pissed all you want because this is my life and if I’m not ready to get back on the ice, that’s my decision.”
“You’re right. It is your decision,” she snapped.
The argument ended there and not another word was spoken until we arrived at the gym.
“Start with some leg extensions,” she spoke as she set the weight to 200 lbs.
“Really? You want me to start that high?” I glared at her.
“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?” She placed her hands on her hips.
“No. But I do have a problem with you right now.”
“Fine. Then I’ll leave you on your own and take my problem ass over to the weight area. When you’re done doing ten reps of fifteen, head over to the leg press and press at the same weight.”
“Whatever, Brooke.” I shook my head.
She really pissed me off with her attitude. So much that I found myself taking my anger out on the machine and my leg.
* * *
Brooke
There was one thing I knew for certain about Logan Jackson, and that was that he needed his anger to help himself. I wasn’t angry that he didn’t get on the ice. I already knew he wasn’t ready to face it yet. Just like I knew he’d become agitated about it. As I stood there doing shoulder presses, I stared at him through the mirror while he was on the leg press machine. He was angry and working harder than ever. I hated doing this to him, but I had no choice. The nerves in his legs were mending and he was almost back to normal function. It was time to push him even further, and in the end, it might cost us our relationship. It was the chance I was willing to take to give him his dream back.
Logan sat on the couch while I wrapped his leg with medicine-soaked cloths. He was still mad at me for earlier, but he’d get over it. One day, he’d know that I was doing this for his own good.
“After I take the cloths off, I’m hooking your leg up to the machine.”
“Whatever,” he spoke with an attitude.
I sighed as I got up and walked into the kitchen. As I was making some tea, Woo walked in.
“What’s going on out there? He’s like a bear.”
“I took him to the arena today and he wouldn’t get on the ice. I yelled at him and now he’s pissed at me.”
“His fear is holding him back, Brooke. Just like yours did.”
“I know that, Woo.” I placed my hands firmly on the counter.
“You’ll work it out. Remember what I said about your emotions getting in the way of his rehabilitation?”
“Yes.” I sighed.
“Good. Keep that in mind and do what’s best for him, not you. I think it’s time you took him home. Maybe he’d get back on the ice where he’s most comfortable. I’ve done all that I can here for him. Now it’s time for you to finish it.”
“Do you think he’s ready?”
“Physically, it’s going to take some practice. Emotionally, no. It’s going to be tough, Brooke. You remember what it was like when you first got back on the ice.”
“Yeah. You were brutal and you made me cry.”
“It was for your own good. His leg is getting stronger every day. Now his mind needs to get there.”
“I’ll call his brother and see if he can send his plane tomorrow.” I looked down.
Woo walked over and wrapped his arms around me.
“Good luck, my friend.”
“Thanks for everything, Woo.”
“Anything for you, baby girl.”
After Woo left, I grabbed my phone and dialed Brandon. After speaking with him, I walked to the living room and removed the cloths from Logan’s leg.
“Guess what?” I asked.
“What?” he spoke with an attitude.
“We’re going back to New York tomorrow.”
He narrowed his eye at me. “Why?”
“Because Woo has done everything he can here and it’s time for you to go home. You have a month’s worth of practice to get started on.”
He looked away and softly spoke, “Fine. I guess I better get packing.”
Chapter 25
Logan
The rest of the night was silent between me and Brooke. Looking over at her as she lay on her side facing away from me, I couldn’t help but think about how lucky I was to have this woman in my life. Life was good with her in it and I already had everything I needed. Money and her. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I kissed her shoulder.
She turned on her back and stared up at me.
“Me too.”
Lowering my head, my lips brushed against hers and our tongues met with desire. My hand slowly drifted down her torso and under her panties, where my finger dipped inside her. She let out a light moan and nipped my bottom lip. Wasting no time, I pulled down her panties and hovered over her, thrusting inside, and feeling her warmth enveloped my hard cock.
“You feel so good, baby,” I whispered as I stared into her beautiful eyes.
“So do you.”
As I picked up the pace, I could feel she was about to come. Her nails dug into my back as the sweet moans of pleasure escaped her lips. I couldn’t hold back anymore as the rush of ecstasy poured from her.
“That’s it, baby.” I strained as I exploded inside of her.
Lowering myself down on her, I buried my face in
to her neck as my lips pressed against her skin.
* * *
Stepping through the door of my apartment, I took our bags straight to the bedroom. Being home felt good, but it felt even better with Brooke here.
“You okay?” Brooke asked as I threw myself on the bed.
“Yeah. I’m good. It’s good to be home. How about you?”
“I’m a little sad.” She pouted as she lay down next to me.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“The snow is gone.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Well, I’m happy it’s gone.” I grabbed her hand and brought it up to my lips.
My phone started to ring, so I pulled it from my pocket and saw that my dad was calling.
“Hey, Dad,” I answered.
“Hey, son. Are you back in New York yet?”
“Yeah. We just walked through the door a few minutes ago.”
“Great. Welcome home. I would like you and Brooke to come over for dinner tonight. I miss you, son, and it would mean a lot to me to see you.”
“Thanks, Dad. I missed you too. What time?”
“Is seven o’clock good?”
“Seven’s fine. We’ll see you then.”
“Great. I’ll let Brandon and Owen know. See you later, son.”
“Bye, Dad.”
Ending the call, I set my phone down on the nightstand and wrapped my arms around Brooke.
“Dinner tonight at my dad’s.”
“Sounds fun. It’ll be good to see him again, but we can’t stay too late.”
“Why’s that?” I asked as I kissed her head.
“Because you have ice time tomorrow morning at six a.m.”
“What? When did you set that up?”
“Yesterday.”
“Without discussing it with me first?” I sat up.
“What’s to discuss? You have to get back on the ice. That’s why we came back here.”
I climbed off the bed and paced around the room.
“You should have discussed it with me first. How many times do I have to tell you that this is my life and I’ll decide when I’m ready to get back on the ice?” I spoke in anger as I walked out of the bedroom.
Planting myself on the couch, I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. A few moments later, Brooke walked in and began taking the ornaments off the Christmas tree. I sighed as I got up and started helping her.
“You can go sit back down. I don’t need your help,” she spoke with an attitude.
“You have no right to be mad at me. All I ask is that you discuss things with me first.”
I could see her jaw clenching and it was actually turning me on. I let out a snicker.
“What?” she asked as she shot me a look.
“You are really sexy when you clench your jaw like that.” I smiled.
“So I’ve been told.”
“By who?” I narrowed my eye at her.
“Other guys.”
“Who?”
“People you don’t know.”
I could feel the spark of jealousy climb through my body. I grabbed her wrist as she was taking an ornament off and her eyes locked on mine.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn’t have used the tone I did.”
“It seems to be a habit lately,” she spoke.
“I’m stressed out, Brooke.”
Before she could respond, there was a knock at the door. Letting go of her wrist, I walked over, and when I opened it, Gene was standing there.
“Welcome home, Logan.” He smiled.
“Hey, Gene. Thanks. Come on in.”
Walking to the living room, he and Brooke exchanged hellos and then he took a seat in the chair.
“You’re walking good. Way better than the last time I saw you.”
“Yeah. I’m getting better.”
“It’s a fucking miracle, boy. A fucking miracle. How are you on the ice? You ready to get back with the team?”
“He hasn’t been on the ice yet,” Brooke replied.
“What? Why?”
I shot Brooke a look. It wasn’t her place to tell him that and it made me angry.
“I’m starting tomorrow.”
“Are you going to be able to play in the last few games?” he asked with concern.
“I don’t know, Gene. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
“Well, we need to win in order to make the playoffs and I think with your help, we can do it.”
“Like I said, Gene, we’ll have to wait and see.”
“Where’s the Lightning Logan that I know?” He narrowed his eyes at him.
“He died the day of the accident,” I spoke as I walked away.
* * *
Brooke
Those were the same exact words I said to my father after the accident. My heart was slowly breaking because I knew what was to come and I didn’t know if I was strong enough to walk away. After Logan left, Gene looked at me.
“What the fuck is his problem? If his leg is healed, why isn’t he raring to get back on the ice and back into the games?”
“He’s scared, Gene.”
“Well, he better get over it. We need him, but if he hasn’t been out on the ice yet, things aren’t looking good. You were supposed to make magic.”
“I did make magic,” I spoke quietly through gritted teeth. “His leg is almost one hundred percent healed.”
Gene got up from his seat.
“Then he can play with no problems. Get him back out on that ice. He has three weeks before the final games,” he spoke as he walked out the door.
Shaking my head, I finished taking down the tree and packed everything away. Walking into the bedroom, I found Logan lying in his bed. I wanted so badly to reach out and hold him tight, but I couldn't. I needed him to be angry with me.
“We better start getting ready to go to your dad’s.”
“Why did you tell Gene that I hadn’t been out on the ice yet?”
“Because it’s the truth. He’s your coach and you shouldn’t be hiding things from him.”
“It’s none of his damn business and you should have kept your mouth shut.”
“In case you haven’t figured it out by now, I can’t keep my mouth shut. Go ahead and be mad at me. I don’t really give a fuck, Logan. Now get your ass out of bed and get ready. Your dad is expecting us, and you don’t want to disappoint him.”
He rolled his eyes and then turned the other way. I unzipped my suitcase and took out a fresh pair of clothes. As I was changing in the bathroom, Logan walked in and didn’t say a word as he started the shower. Dinner at his dad’s house was going to be extremely uncomfortable.
Chapter 26
Brooke
The cab ride to his dad’s was silent, just like I knew it would be. The minute we stepped through the door, everyone yelled “surprise” with big smiles on their faces.
“What’s this?” Logan asked.
“Welcome home, son.”
I knew about the surprise party when Brandon sent me a text message last night. His entire team was there, along with Coach Gene, and his whole family, including his aunt and uncle. While Logan sat and talked with everyone, I went into the kitchen and Owen followed behind.
“What’s going on with you two? The air is so thick out there.”
“He’s pissed off at me again.”
“For what now? He should be happy about his leg.”
“I’m making him get back out on the ice tomorrow and he’s nervous about it.”
Owen laughed. “He’s never been nervous about anything.”
“He’s scared that he won’t ever be able to get back to where he was before the accident and he has a fear of letting people down.”
“That’s ridiculous. You said his leg is healed, so he won’t have any problems.”
“That’s not true. He hasn’t been out on the ice in months.”
“So what? He hasn’t forgotten how to skate. He’ll be fine. Do I need
to talk to him?”
“No. Please don’t mention it to him. He’s already pissed off enough and if he knew I was talking to you about this, it’d just make things worse.”
“Okay. I won’t talk to him about it, but I want you to keep me posted. Deal?”
“Deal.” I smiled.
When I walked into the living room, I saw Logan and some blonde in an embrace. Jealousy reared its ugly head and a sick feeling came over me. She looked a little too happy to see him.
“Who’s that?” I asked Brandon as I stood next to him.
“That’s Lina from Dewey’s bar. We’ve known her for years.”
“Did he fuck her?” I asked.
Brandon looked over at me and didn’t say a word. He didn’t need to. I could tell by the expression on his face he did. As I began to walk towards them, Brandon reached out and lightly grabbed my arm.
“Brooke, don’t. They’re just friends.”
“I know.” I gave a cunning smile.
Walking over to them, I stood next to Logan.
“Hey, Brooke, this is Lina. She’s a bartender over at Dewey’s. Lina, this is my physical therapist, Brooke Alexander.”
“Nice to meet you.” She smiled as she held out her boney hand.
“Likewise.” My face displayed a fake smile.
His physical therapist? Why didn’t he mention that I was his girlfriend? Now I was irritated.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get another glass of wine,” I spoke as I walked away before I said something I would ultimately regret.
Sitting in the kitchen and talking to his aunt, I looked at my phone. It was getting late.
“It was wonderful talking to you, but we better head on home. Logan has skate practice at six a.m.”
“Thank you, Brooke, for everything you’ve done for him. He’s a lucky man to have you in his life.”
I gave her a small smile as I walked away. I wasn’t so sure he would see it that way at the moment. Grabbing my purse, I looked around for Logan.
“Do you know where Logan is?” I asked Owen.
“Yeah. I just saw him walk out the door with Lina. I think he was saying goodbye to her.”