by Ruby Dixon
No wonder she has not approached me. It is both relief and frustration to realize that. My mate does not know that she is my mate.
I let her touch and prod the wound on my arm until she is satisfied, though the look on her face is charmingly distressed for such a small scratch. I must think. If she does not realize we are mates then I must woo her, like human males woo their females. I must show her affection to win her. I cannot assume she will come to my furs unless she feels what I feel.
Her gaze meets mine, and it takes everything I have not to cup her lovely face in my hands, to touch her like she touches me. When she offers me the washcloth back, I get an idea. I make the wash gesture like she did, and then indicate she should turn around.
Just as she did to me.
She presses her fingers to her mouth, and I wait. I am asking much from her. After a moment, she pulls her hair over her shoulder and presents her back to me. Her hands move to her throat and she starts to undo the laces on her clothing.
Need rages through me and it takes everything I have not to grab her tunic by the collar and rip it from her body. I force myself to wait. Her fingers are trembling and she is moving slow, but then she tugs at the tunic and it slips around her shoulders, revealing pale human skin.
A groan escapes me, but she doesn’t turn. She stands before me, shy, her khui singing loudly to mine. I must woo her, I remind myself. I take the cloth and gently brush it over her bared skin, even though she is soft and clean. If she was brave enough to touch me, I will touch her back.
Her trembling stops, and as I continue to smooth the cloth over her skin, bathing her, she relaxes. The tension leaves her shoulders and they drop, and she tilts her head to the side, her hair sliding over her shoulder. She is enjoying my touch, and the thought fills me with joy. I want to press my mouth to that soft skin, to taste her, but I will go slow. I must go slow.
Then she drops the rest of the tunic to her waist, and I drop the cloth I am holding, stunned at the sight of her. The gentle curve of Li-lah’s back is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
Until she turns toward me.
And the breath whooshes from my throat.
She gives me a shy look and starts to sign, then drops her hands. “I…I want to see your face if you say something,” Li-lah tells me. “It’s awful quiet on the other side.”
Of course. I lift my hands, then drop them. I do not have hand-words for how beautiful she is. How the sight of her bared teats makes me nearly lose control. How I am both filled with pleasure that she is my mate, and frustrated that my body sings so loudly for hers that it takes all of my control not to push her down into the furs. But I do not know these hand-words, so I signal yes, and then step forward to close the distance between us.
I feel her small body tremble as I come closer. Like this, the top of her head goes to the center of my chest. She is fragile, my Li-lah, yet I would not change a thing about her, because she is mine and she is perfect. I lean closer, and the light scent of her fills my nostrils. I close my eyes to savor it, the smell as delicate as she is. I want to rub my face against her skin and breathe it in.
“Could you…could you please kiss me?”
Her small voice catches my attention. I open my eyes and she is looking up at me, her head tilted back. She looks flushed and breathless, and her gaze flicks to my mouth and then to my eyes.
I am filled with a mixture of excitement and horror - the humans kiss with their mouths, but I do not know how to do this. I will not be good at it, I fear, and I want to impress her.
Yes, I sign, and then hunch down, holding her shoulders and studying her face. I will need to aim my mouth carefully at hers, and with our size difference, I must squat a bit. I consider her mouth, then lean forward and press my lips against hers with a smacking noise. There. A kiss. I pull back to see if she is pleased.
Her brows furrow together, and then a small giggle escapes her. She claps a hand to her mouth, her shoulders shaking.
Yes? I sign again. Did I do well? She is so pleased she is smiling?
But as more giggles and snorts peals out of her, she starts to wipe her eyes, her shoulders moving with the force of her laughter.
“I’m sorry,” she says, trying to catch her breath even as more tears stream down her cheeks. “It’s just that that was so terrible.” And she snort-laughs again.
I stiffen, doing my best not to scowl. She asked for a kiss. I tap at my chest and then sign no, then make a kissing face to tell her I am new to it.
She just howls with more laughter. “Sorry,” she gasps. “Sorry, sorry.”
My irritation fades, and instead, I find myself smiling. Her amusement is adorable, and this is the happiest I have seen her since she was pulled from the cave wall. I make the signal for again? just to tease her, and she giggles even more, clutching her sides.
This leaves her pink-tipped teats bare and shivering with her laughter. I am not displeased by this at all. My fingers ache to explore her, but I will settle for her smiles now.
“Sorry,” she breathes again, and makes a signal. “I guess you guys don’t kiss?”
I shrug. We are learning much from humans, but I do not have the hand-words for this, either. Again, I am frustrated by the fact that I can only speak bits and pieces to her. I have so many things I wish to say. How did Vektal get around this with his mate, Shorshie?
Then I remember - the Elder’s Cave. The one with the talking walls. It teaches languages. It will know how I can communicate with my Li-lah.
I will take her there. I grab her and hug her close, excited.
She stiffens in my arms, surprised by my touch. A small ‘oh’ escapes her.
Another groan rips from my throat at the feel of her skin against mine. She is soft all over, except the tiny pink nipples that drag against my chest. My Li-lah is rounded and sweet in my grasp, and my cock throbs with the need to claim her.
“I guess you guys hug,” she murmurs against my chest, and she does not push away. I am glad; she feels right in my arms. She belongs there. I stroke her hair, her arms, her shoulders, anywhere I can touch her without frightening her.
I want to lick her pale skin and taste her. Everywhere.
Her hands smooth up my sides and then she pulls back, looking up at me. “Do you want to try kissing again? I promise I won’t laugh this time. I was just surprised.”
I nod quickly. I want it more than anything.
She gives me a shy smile. “Okay. Why don’t you sit and I’ll stand this time? Even us out a bit.”
I edge backward and drop onto the large, smooth rock she was using as a seat earlier. I spread my legs and gesture that she should come forward.
Li-lah bites her lip and her hands go to her teats, covering them.
I frown. Why does she hide herself? As she moves forward, I take one of her hands and pull it away from her breast, shaking my head. Is she ashamed? There is no need; she is lovely, and I will not touch her if she does not ask for my touch. There is no need to hide away.
“Right. I guess that seems silly.” She drops her hands and then puts them on my shoulders, closing the distance between us. From this angle, her teats are close to my face, but I ignore them, looking up into her eyes instead. “Now, I’m no expert at this either. I think I’ve kissed maybe one guy in my life.”
This pleases me. I like that she is mine and mine alone. I give her hand-speak word for good.
She laughs again and gives a small shake of her head. “You won’t be saying that after I give you my own lousy attempt at kissing.”
Nothing she does could be ‘lousy’. I do not need my knowing to understand this. She is perfect in every way.
But then she moves and sits on my knee, and our faces are level. Her fingers brush over my cheek, and I go still.
I hold my breath, lest I move wrong and frighten her before she places her mouth on mine. I need her to kiss me. I need it more than anything. The throbbing song of our khuis fills the cave, and as she leans
Her lips are soft as they brush over my mouth. I should not be surprised; humans are soft all over. But I am surprised when her little tongue slips out and brushes over the seam of my mouth. I jerk backward, astonished. That small touch of her tongue nearly made me lose control. My cock aches like stone, and I am breathing hard.
“Sorry,” she says again, but there is a smile on her face that says her apology is a lie. “That is what kissing is. It’s mouth pressing, but it’s also tongues. Did you not know that?”
I shrug again, my skin prickling with awareness of her. I should have guessed that tongues were involved, but I thought humans pressed mouths together and blew air into each other’s mouths. I thought it was something that would make sense when I had a mate.
I am a fool. I smack my own forehead. Of course tongues are used. Tongues are for pleasuring. It can go in a mouth as easily as a cunt, I suppose. I have done neither, but the other hunters talk about how to please a female. It seems I should have listened more. I am making a muck of resonance. My mate does not understand it, and when she tries to show me affection, I am surprised.
I am a terrible mate.
“Ready to try again?” she asks, caressing my cheek to get my attention.
That small touch makes me suck in a breath, and I close my eyes, because I am close to spending my seed. I take a few moments to compose myself, and when I open my eyes again, she is frowning down at me as if something is wrong.
Afraid that I have worried her into stopping, I place a hand at the back of her head and pull her against me for another kiss. Our lips meet and mash again, and she makes a small, surprised noise, but she does not pull away. Instead, her lips work against mine, caressing, and I pay attention. I will let her lead in this. When her lips brush against mine in a light movement, I kiss her back. When her tongue flicks against my mouth, I part my lips so she can taste me.
In the next moment, her tongue brushes against mine, and I am lost. A kiss with tongue is like nothing I have ever experienced before. Her mouth is hot and slick, and her tongue is smooth, so smooth. She rubs it against mine and a little moan of surprise escapes her, which makes my cock throb in response. She does not stop once her tongue touches mine, though. She keeps kissing me, her tongue dancing and playing against mine with delicate, teasing brushes. In this, I let her lead as well. Not because I do not want to take charge - but because I am stunned at how much I am feeling at the moment. Over and over again, we kiss, tongues locking and playing, until I am breathless and a mere touch away from losing control.
She pulls away, her lips wet and swollen, and gives me a dazed look. “That was…wow.”
Yes, I signal.
Her gaze flicks to my hands and she laughs, then wraps her arms around my neck and snuggles close against me. I am surprised she has come to my arms, but pleased. I put my arms around her, feeling her soft skin against mine. She shivers, and I realize she is cold. That is why she is so eager for my touch. Of course.
I pick her up and take her to the corner of the cave. There are furs rolled up and stored, and as I set her gently on her feet, I indicate that I am going to make her a bed. She nods and crosses her arms over her chest again, shivering once more.
I feel like a fool. My mate is cold and here I am playing at kisses. I should be taking care of her. I quickly undo the furs and shake them out, then layer them until they form a thick nest. Once it is done, I gesture at it and she slips under the blankets.
Before I can get up to stoke the fire, her small hand catches mine. She peels back the blankets and pats the bed. “Just to snuggle?”
I do not know what snuh-gull is, but I can guess. She does not want to do more than what we have done, because she is not experienced. And even though her khui is singing as loudly as mine, I understand. I am just happy she wants me at her side.
I move under the furs with her, and her arms go around me, her breasts pressing against my side again. I put my arms around her, my chest singing with happiness.
“I guess I have an alien boyfriend now,” she muses as she presses her cold hands against my side. “That’s different.”
If boy-friend is the human word for mate, then yes, yes she does have one.
I make Li-lah rest all afternoon and throughout the evening. There is a cache nearby and I raid it for a small kill - a frozen hopper - before throwing a layer of snow atop it and returning the marker. I keep the fire stoked and make a stew for my mate, and she teaches me more hand-talk. There are so many words it makes my head dizzy, but I do my best to learn them all. I have so much to say to her.
We practice more kissing, too. There is more tongue, more sighs, and my cock is so stiff and aches so badly I feel it will snap off. But Li-lah seems content with kissing and hugging, and so I will be, too. She falls asleep in my arms and I remain there for hours, afraid to leave and lose the moment.
Morning comes too early. I am pleased that Li-lah’s bruise has faded from her cheek. My own aches have lessened, as well, my khui hard at work. Li-lah yawns and burrows back under the covers as I clean up our cave. We must meet Hassen today. He will be waiting, and he needs to know he should return home.
He will also need to tell the others that Li-lah and I are safe, but we are not going home yet. We must go to the Elders’ Cave, so I can learn her words. And I am not sending her back with him. She stays with me. I have not told her yet, but I think she will want this, too.
As if my thoughts have summoned her, Li-lah peers over my shoulder, pressing her cheek to my arm. She yawns and watches me tie the pack closed. “I need one of those.” When I look over at her, she clarifies. “A pack. A survival kit. I want to learn how to take care of myself in case anything should happen to you.”
I rock back on my heels, shaken by this thought. She is right. What if something should happen to me while we are traveling? She will be helpless and alone, and unable to hear the creatures that could hunt her. I nod quickly and make sure that one of the two knives I have left are for her. Tonight, when we rest, I will make her a bag of her own supplies. After we visit the Elders’ Cave and we can talk in more than a few short sentences, I will teach her how to hunt and how to build fire. She is smart and will learn quickly.
And it will give me an excuse to keep her to myself for just a little longer.
We eat a cold meal, drink a bit of meltwater, and then I finish packing up the cave while Li-lah puts on her many layers of fur. My outer furs are filthy and I pack them in my bag for cleaning when we set up camp again. The day looks to be sunny and warm enough that I will not need them. Then, we strap on Li-lah’s snowshoes and go, hand in hand, out in the snow once more, our waists tethered together. I pull her a little closer and stay mindful of the skies, in case more sky-claws emerge.
But the weather is warm, the suns bright, and the sky-claws are nowhere in sight.
By mid-morning, I see Hassen’s tracks in the snow. His trail goes down into the next valley, heading south toward the tribal cave. I tap Li-lah’s arm and point the tracks out to her.
“My buddy?” she asks in a dry voice.
No, I sign, confused. Hassan. Does she worry someone else is out here?
But she only gives an amused little snort and holds onto my arm a little tighter.
We round a curve and there, in the distance, is a hunter in furs with two spears strapped to his back. I recognize the stance and call out to him, raising an arm. “Ho!”
He turns and raises a hand halfway before pausing. I can tell the moment he sees Li-lah next to me, because he lowers his head and races toward us, plowing through the snow like a charging dvisti buck. There is a look of joy on his face as he nears, and it fades as he approaches and sees Li-lah’s hand on my arm.
“You found her,” he says, steps slowing as he approaches. “She is unharmed?”
“Unharmed and well,” I agree. His gaze devours her, and I ignore the stab of possessiveness I feel. She is mine. He cannot take her from me this time.
Li-lah scoots closer to me, her grip tightening. I pat her gloved hand to comfort her, and my khui immediately grows louder, the song reverberating through my chest and joined by hers a moment later.
Hassen’s expression turns to one of devastation. His shoulders slump as he looks from Li-lah to me. “Resonance,” he says, and there is much heaviness in his voice. “You are lucky, my friend.”
I nod. There is no point in berating him. He is defeated. I have what he wants more than anything. He turns away, his back to us, and I feel a pang of sorrow for my friend and tribesmate. To want something so badly, only to have it slip out of your grasp, it is difficult. “It will happen for you someday,” I tell him, and I feel a little echo in my chest that tells me my knowing is confirming this. “There is Mah-dee, and Farli will be of age soon. Perhaps—”
“Mah-dee hates me. And Farli is like a little sister. Who is left? Esha? She is but four turns of the season old. One of the new kits? Perhaps I will be an old, withered elder before my female’s breast resonates to me.” He snorts. “It will be that long before Vektal forgives me for betraying the tribe rules. I shall be a lonely old male with no one but Bek and Warrek to understand my sorrow.”
I ignore his bitter words. “It will be sooner. Do not give up hope.”
He sighs heavily, staring off into the distance even as Li-lah gives me a concerned look. She cannot hear our conversation, and I feel guilty that we talk around her.
He rubs his face, and his tail flicks angrily in the snow before he stands. “All I have ever wanted is a mate and family. I thought for sure…” He shakes his head and then puts a hand on my shoulder, the one opposite of Li-lah. “If I am not her mate, I am glad it is you, my friend. You are a good male and a good hunter. You will make her happy.” He looks over at Li-lah. “She hated every moment with me, you know. She would not speak.”
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