What the hell was wrong with him?
“Jenna and I could take Chris. Just tell us when.”
Brad felt dubious that even connecting with his wife physically could help the empty feeling inside him, but he appreciated that his friends were thinking about him. And the very next day the women were all over it, arranging a date night for Brad and Val.
* * *
It should have been simple enough, but it wasn’t. Val had arranged to have each child with different people, so Brad spent over an hour driving his children all over the Denver Metro area to their respective “babysitters.” First, he took the baby to Nick and Gracie’s house. Gracie was still a part-time nanny for the family, so watching the baby was a cinch. Then he delivered Hayley to Zane and Jennifer’s house so that their two daughters could play together and continue developing a friendship that Brad hoped would last a lifetime. Finally, he delivered Chris to Jenna and Ethan so the little man could spend time with their daughter, his half-sister, and then he headed home down the highway to his wife.
And how lame would it be if he just asked to go to bed early?
No. This was for Val just as much as it was for him. He knew he’d been an emotionless, cold statue for months now. His mother had passed in March, but he’d been pretty distant since first learning her news—and here it was June, and he was no better. Val no doubt needed her husband back, so he had to once more don the actor’s mask and be the man she needed him to be. It was just for one night. He could do this.
He could retreat back into the shell of numbness afterward.
After parking his car in the garage, Brad made his way into the house through the kitchen. He smelled something in the oven, something Italian, but there was no grumble from his stomach. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had an appetite. Val appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, looking sweet and sexy, one of the things he liked best about her. She was one of few women who could look innocent and seductive at the same time. How she pulled it off, he’d never know, but—up until the past few months—he’d willingly fallen prey to her charms.
He felt like such as asshole. His cock should have been fully engorged at the sight. She was wearing a black lace teddy, one he didn’t think he’d ever seen on her before, and it showed off the fact that she’d lost all the baby weight—not that it mattered. He already knew that he looked at Val through rose-colored glasses, and she would always appear perfect to him.
But he should be finding her irresistible. What the hell was wrong with him?
Val walked over to him, and he noticed her toenails painted red. His eyes drank her in, taking in every little detail as they roamed up her legs, her torso, her beautiful breasts, her long brown hair, until he landed on her eyes.
But nothing.
He wasn’t impotent, was he?
Val gave him a small smile and slid her hand inside his, leading him out of the kitchen. “The lasagna won’t be ready for another hour, so we have a little time on our hands. The kids doing okay?”
“Yeah.” And, even if there had been a few complications, he wouldn’t have mentioned it to Val. No sense putting a damper on the party for both of them.
In less than a minute, they were inside their bedroom. “So it might seem a little cliché, but I don’t care. I have a hot bubble bath and two flutes of champagne waiting for us.” She started backing away from her husband, letting her hand drop from his. “I need your company…” When she got to the bathroom door, she turned her head to look at him over her shoulder and then pulled one strap of her teddy down her shoulder so that it dangled against her slender arm.
Ah. There it was. He felt a slight twitch downstairs, signaling to him that the blood had begun to flow. He let out a slow breath of air, feeling a little relief, and he pulled his t-shirt over his head before tossing it to the floor.
God, he loved this woman. From stem to stern, inside and out, for her heart, her brains, her body, her attitude—everything. She was the perfect woman for him. So for him to have trouble connecting with her almost killed him. He shook his head, feeling his entire body beginning to respond at last, and he began walking toward the bathroom.
The lights weren’t on in there but Val had lit candles in key places around the room, creating a soft glow. She was right—it was completely cliché—but it was also cute as hell. She held one of the flutes of champagne out to him and he walked closer to take it. Her teddy strap still draped down the side of her arm, taunting him. He didn’t know that he was completely ready or able to make love to Val tonight, but he was sure as hell going to give it a try.
She was beautiful. As a young lady, she had been as well, but being a little older looked even better on her. Now she had confidence underlying it all, and that made a world of difference. But her smile somehow seemed to go a little deeper and it was easy to see in her blue-green eyes. Her long brown hair was piled up on her head, making the creamy skin of her neck irresistible…
Which meant her plan was working.
Even if it only lasted for a few moments, he was enjoying sensations he hadn’t felt in months and he was going to focus on them. So, as he got closer to Val, he drank in every detail but finally gazed into her eyes. There were so many things he wanted to say but the words were stuck in his throat. Her fingertips touched his chest and he heard her soft voice. “When are you getting more ink, Mr. Payne?”
“You think I need more?”
She grinned and shrugged, rubbing a finger on his left pec, and then it dawned on him. He had the other two kids’ names right there in script lettering. “Oh, I guess I need to get Damien tattooed on there, too.”
Valerie nodded with a twinkle in her eye, but Brad could no longer resist her exposed flesh. He brought his mouth to her neck, kissing the skin there, and he could feel the tips of her fingernails digging into his pec before grazing them down his belly until she touched his jeans. He again felt his cock responding as another wave of relief flooded his veins and he willed his body to do what it was made to.
As she began unfastening the top button of his jeans, she said, “The water’s gonna get cold, honey.”
He was ready to tell her to hell with the bath, but she’d been the one to pull him out of his funk, even if for just a few moments. He owed it to her.
And it was nice. A few pieces of clothing tossed to the cool bathroom floor and they were soon in the tub, Valerie’s body nestled up against Brad’s, surrounded by bubbles that quickly disappeared. Brad tried to figure out what the scent was and settled on something tropical. More than the physical sensations, though, he could feel Valerie’s spirit talking to him even when they weren’t speaking, and it seemed as though she was telling him it was all right, that together they could get through anything. He knew he would always have a hole in his heart for his mother, but it would become a tribute to the woman who’d given him breath. He now had a life with the mother of his children, a woman who’d always felt like his soulmate, the person he’d do anything for.
She was everything.
So, as he nuzzled the top of her head with his cheek, he finally muttered, “The bubbles are gone, babe, and it’s getting cold in here.”
“Mmm. Yeah, I guess so.”
Without a word, practical as always, Val stood up. Tiny drops of water fell from her body, but Brad couldn’t help but admire her ass, the curve of her back. Yes, he could see how childbirth had changed her over the years. Her hips seemed a little fuller, her butt a little rounder, and the differences were nothing but amazing. Thirty looked good on his wife.
She turned in the tub, extending her hand to him, and he took it, although he didn’t actually use her leverage to help him up. Instead, he placed his other hand on the edge of the tub before standing. It was in that moment that he felt cold all over, the breeze of the air conditioner seeming to work too well, but Val had him covered. She had grabbed the two towels she set aside on the bathroom counter, handing one to Brad.
But then it happened quickly. He w
asn’t even done drying the hairs on one of his legs, listening to the gurgle of the tub draining the water when Valerie let him know her intentions. She ran her hands up his back and then traced his spine with her tongue before running her fingers through his hair. He felt his cock stiffen in immediate response and he tossed the towel back on the counter before turning around to embrace his wife.
She had a devilish grin on her face, though, and she was backing away from him, her fingers reaching out to him to entice him, compelling him to follow her.
And he did.
Once in the bedroom, she leapt on the bed, crawling to the top, before resting her head atop the pillows, her lovely pale nakedness standing out against the dark covers. Instinct urged him to pounce on her but his upbringing urged gentleness, even when the play was rough. So he instead cupped her foot in her hand and kissed the arch before making a trail up the length of her leg with his lips. She was barely containing herself by the time he kissed her upper thigh, and he considered taking a detour between her legs, but he needed to hold her close right now, needed to bond with her in the deepest way. And so he licked his way up her belly to her cleavage, pausing to tease one nipple with his tongue, the other with his fingers before tasting the flesh of her neck. By the time he got to her lips, she was feeling desperate, and she wrapped her fingers around his neck and kissed him hard. Her other hand found his cock, her touch triggering a heady chemical mix to swirl into his bloodstream, driving all thought from his head. She massaged the head in between her thumb and finger and the blood throbbed through his veins, needing release.
For a moment, though, he opened his eyes to take her in once more. She paused her motion then, gazing back, and he could feel her then. A love this deep had no words, only meaning, only emotion, and he brought his lips to hers with a gentleness that belied the strength of what was raging inside as he entered her, surrendering to a rush of sensation as his cock dove into her heat.
He always thought he could say the beginning was the best part but, really, the whole experience was, every single time. There was nothing like having himself enveloped in warmth and pressure, and the process was much like building a fire in the woods—more friction created more smoke, and, eventually, it would combust.
Brad’s thoughts emptied as all his blood rushed to the place that needed it the most. His focus was all on pleasure now, providing the relief his brain had sought in vain all these months as he kissed his wife. Every thrust of his hips brought new sensations charging through his veins, and he felt every muscle on his body tighten, preparing itself for the ultimate release. He forced himself to pay attention to Valerie, listening to her breathing mainly, but he also ran his tongue over her neck and then brought his lips to hers. He would know that, if she gave him a full-fledged kiss, she was nowhere near climax, but if her response seemed distracted—meaning she was to a degree, focused on impending pleasure—then he’d know she was close. Because he wasn’t letting go without her.
Initially, he thought she might have a ways to go, because her kiss was hard and passionate, but then he realized he could sense desperation in it. The woman hadn’t had an orgasm in many long weeks and was frantic now as she approached the apex, but she seemed desperate, as though she would never be able to enjoy a climax again. It was then that Brad slowed his kiss, made it more purposeful, hoping to engage her thoughts a little, help her focus on love—and then nature could take its course.
Her breathing was still deep and intense, but she gave Brad’s tongue the attention it deserved as he felt her fingers tense up against his scalp. He let himself remember her as a young girl, thinking back to the very first time they kissed in her dorm room and how she’d responded, and even then he’d known they belonged together.
As if Valerie could read his thoughts, he heard a tiny moan forming in the back of her throat and she sucked a breath in through her mouth, her lips loosening against his. Now this felt like she was really ready to let go. As he continued to drive inside her, his pace there having slowed as well to help her, he felt her body responding—her legs clenching against him, her pussy tightening against his cock, her nails digging into his back.
Then her cries grew louder as she completely let go and all Brad could do was to keep up the rhythm and hang on until he too could allow his body to do what it was ready for. When he felt her legs relax and her head fell back against her pillow as she let out a slow sigh, he knew the most intense part was over for her and it was just a matter of him no longer having to hold back. The physiology was likely a little more complex, but it really just involved him letting go.
Completely. Thoroughly. Once and for all.
And then his body felt intense, total pleasure as his brain experienced the explosion. It was like fireworks, like dynamite or a flash flood—a complete destruction of everything inside his head, replaced by pure emotion. Pleasure first, followed by endless love as he felt more connected to his wife than ever before. As coherent thought returned, Brad pulled a slow breath into his lungs and opened his eyes. Valerie’s face was right there, and she gave him a soft smile as she stroked his cheek. “I love you.”
He could feel his face light up as he told her, “I love you, too, Val. Now and forever.” He kissed her and it was then that he realized he would always have a hole in his heart for his mother, but it was Valerie who completed him. Without her, he was nothing and life had no meaning.
He lived for her—and it was this connection he’d needed. They were one and belonged together. And now, as the fog lifted, he understood that completely, and his heart flooded with gratitude. “What’s wrong?” she asked, sensing the waves of emotion rolling through his body.
“Not a thing. I’m just…just a lucky guy.”
Her eyes searched his. “I think we’re both lucky.”
“You got that right.”
* * *
Brad held the remote in one hand, the baby cradled in his other arm, while Valerie breezed back and forth between the family room and kitchen. He could smell the scent of buttered popcorn wafting into the room, but the kids on the floor seemed oblivious.
He was going to have to let Val choose the movie. After scrolling through the menu for several minutes, nothing sounded appealing.
But the kids—they were cracking him up. They had several games on the floor all jumbled together. There was a Monopoly board and a checkers one side by side. On both boards were chess pieces, tokens from Clue, Sorry!, Scrabble tiles, discs from Othello, little plastic cherries, gray ships, and an assortment of other pieces he couldn’t place. Chris said to Hayley, “You build your fort over there. Mine’s here.”
Hayley had a pout on her face, pointing her finger. “There.”
Val walked in the room, a huge white Tupperware bowl brimming with popcorn in one hand, small bowls in the other. “What the—? Guys, what are you doing? You need to—”
“They’re not hurting anything, honey. They’re mostly playing nice.”
Val tilted her head as she leaned over, placing the big bowl on the coffee table. “Fine. Then you get to clean up what they don’t.”
Laughing, he said, “Will do.”
“So what did you pick?”
He shrugged. “I can’t decide. I got caught up watching those two playing.”
Val took the remote and started clicking while the baby began stirring in his arms. “I think Damien’s waking up, babe.”
“Okay.” She set the remote on the coffee table and rushed back to the kitchen. Yep, Brad could tell the little guy was gonna be hungry. Val brought a tray with lemonade and cups and, after setting it down, scooped the baby from Brad’s arms. He could hear the movie starting behind her but his eyes were focused on her and not the TV screen.
He heard Chris say, “Oh, Goonies. My favorite.”
Val moved to the other side of the couch next to Brad. “That’s why I put it in, bud.”
“Watch, Hayley.” His sister glanced at the screen but then took the opportunity to start re
arranging all of her brother’s hard work while his attention was diverted.
Brad smiled, placing his arm behind Val’s back and kissing her cheek before looking down at the baby latching on to his mama’s breast. Then he let his eyes drift over to Chris, followed by Hayley. The movie would get his attention soon enough, but Brad was enjoying the feeling of his heart swelling with emotion for the people in the room. This was his family. This was where his heart was, where his love belonged.
He could feel it coming back to him.
And it was then, in that moment, that he felt his mother’s presence. He could hear her words in his head, something she’d said to him a hundred times. Home is where your heart is. This was home—right here. And he had Valerie to thank for that. In his head, he whispered a thanks to his mother for all she’d ever done for him—and then his thoughts returned home—to the here and now, exactly where he belonged.
Val looked up at Brad from the baby. “Everything okay?”
It only took him a second before he answered, “I think everything’s perfect.”
Beating Hearts
This novella originally appeared in a multi-author anthology called Get Rocked! in Vegas and all the stories intertwined with various fictional bands playing at a festival in—you guessed it—Las Vegas. This story, however, is a standalone and can be enjoyed on its own. The anthology appeared for a limited time in 2017, and this is the first time it has appeared since.
Note to fans of the Vagabonds series: This short story takes place during the events of On the Rocks (Vagabonds #3) when the band is touring to support their second album. Just as you read in the book, this story includes cameo appearances by the members of Last Five Seconds (who, it just so happens, are also playing at the Get Rocked! in Vegas Festival).
Dirty Boys: Bad Boy Rock Star Romance Box Set Page 116