by Bijou Hunter
“True, but once he starts meddling, he won’t stop. I don’t need him giving me pointers for the rest of my relationship with Lark.”
“Lark,” my mother said, testing out the name. “She had such a sweet smile. I could look at that smile for the rest of my life. Yes, go kick fate in the balls and get me a daughter.”
“You have a daughter.”
“A new one, I meant. Preferably one who likes to visit more than Anna.”
Grinning at the thought of my alpha chick sister, I finished my juice and stood up. “I’ll focus on a first date then worry about getting you a more compliant daughter.”
Dad chuckled then turned to the last member of our golfing party. Graham was like a shrunken version of my dad. Also unlike Dad, he had a habit of blurting crap out.
“I heard a majority of white males in prison have tattoos,” Graham announced while studying the cobra tat running up my neck.
“What’s your fucking point?” I growled down at him. When Graham shrunk under my tone, I grinned. “Just kidding, man. Plenty of my white clients are criminals too, but they’re just people.”
“My brother cheats on his taxes,” Graham blurted out.
“Who doesn’t?” Dad said, taking my mother’s hand as they started for the cart.
I grinned at Graham who smiled back. There were moments in life when I wondered how someone managed to survive with a lack of social skills. Staring down at Graham, I was having one of those moments. Fortunately, he spouted stupid in front of me rather than those criminal clients of mine.
Chapter Three - Lark
Larry had only been my stepfather since I was fifteen. He was the latest in a long line of losers. While the richest and most stable of the bunch, he was still a jerk. Yet, my mom adored him.
Blonde, blue eyed, and fit, Margo was an attractive woman who never had trouble finding a man. She had trouble attracting nice ones though. One drunk after another gambler, she was always in a bad relationship or between one. My dad was a criminal. Raven’s dad too. Phoenix’s dad had been married and tried to shoot my mom when she wouldn’t have an abortion. This attempt on her life was why she came back to Ellsberg. It wasn’t enough to make her change her bad taste in men though. Another loser came along then another. Eventually, we ended up with Larry.
They had a strange relationship. She was his submissive in every way. He told her what to wear, how much she was supposed to weigh, and who she could talk to. He controlled her every waking moment. If she deviated from the schedule he set, she was punished in various ways from withholding affection and food to ignoring her to spankings.
Their relationship horrified me, but I saw how much my mom loved the whole thing. Not just Larry, but his need to control her. She thought it meant she was special. I thought it meant he was a freak and she needed therapy. I never said anything though because I didn’t make waves. I was the middle child and we just kept our heads down. At least, that was what I read once and it did fit me.
Raven was the oldest and she didn’t keep her head down. In a rage, she was like a bull storming through a China shop. In our roller derby team, she was known as the Chicknado because she would skate into a crowd of girls and send them flying.
When Larry came into our life, Raven did try to make the best of the situation. We lived in a nice house and were able to share a car with our mom. Going hungry was never a concern and Larry wasn’t a drinker, druggie, or gambler. He just wanted to tell us how to think.
Raven dodged the old man most of the time. Everything might have worked out, but Larry heard one of his girls was running the street with a loser. He decided his son Dylan would tail Raven everywhere to make sure she behaved.
My stepbrother had a mohawk and tats. He looked scary, but Raven feared no man. Even if she did, my sister would react in violence to any challenge. She squared off against Dylan and they beat the crap out of each other. After she and Dylan left the hospital, Larry gave her an ultimatum. Behave or get out.
Raven responded by listing off everything she hated about him. Larry’s reaction was to threaten her with violence, maybe thinking she was still weak from the fight with Dylan. My stepbrother laughed when Larry threatened Raven. If he couldn’t take her down, his old man wasn’t going to do it.
Never willing to stand down, Raven threatened Larry with violence right back. Realizing she would actually hit him, he called the police and Raven left town with her stoner boyfriend Dexter.
Without Raven, I was alone with the two Clark men and my indifferent mother. Moving out wasn’t an option though. I couldn’t afford school plus rent, utilities, and food. Larry knew this fact and often held school over my head. If I didn’t behave, he would threaten to kick me out. I needed to get an education so I could support myself one day and never depend on some fucker like him. Depend on any of the kind of men my mom loved over the years.
After Raven left, Larry cracked down on my privileges. After I became friends with the Johanssons, he cracked down even more. I wasn’t allowed to drive or take the bus. I wasn’t allowed to go out on the weekends. I wasn’t allowed to do anything except work and study. If I wanted to be around my friends, I needed Dylan to come along. The night I bowled with the crew, he sat in the corner and stared at me. I pretended not to notice and no one else seemed to notice either. Cooper likely would have said something if he knew my brother was babysitting me.
Dylan claimed he wasn’t my brother. He didn’t see us that way. I pretended not to understand. So far, my lies kept him at arm’s length. One day on the phone, Raven warned me Dylan wouldn’t wait forever. When he decided to stop waiting, I needed to decide how far I would go to say no.
This thought was on my mind as I sat for another tense dinner with the family.
Sporting dyed black hair and a fake tan, Larry sat at one end of the long table with Mom at the other. Dylan sat across from me and he often looked up to stare. I pretended not to notice. For most of my life, I’d pretended one thing or another. The only time I could really be me was with Raven especially during roller derby. I’d been called Thunder Kitten because I looked harmless like a kitten, yet could startle my opponents like a crack of thunder.
Despite my former tough girl stance, I was Larry’s bitch now. When he told me the pink and blue tips in my hair were ridiculous, I dyed them out. When he said my hair was too short and spiky, I let it grow. If I didn’t bow to his will, he would kick me out of the house and I would lose out on college.
I wasn’t even aiming for a bachelor degree anymore. At that rate, I would live under Larry’s thumb for a decade. I just wanted an associate’s degree then get the fuck out of his house with all of its bear figures staring at me.
My mind was on more than Larry and those knickknacks. I missed my sister and wished she would give me advice about Aaron. In the past, she was the one I talked to about everything. Now, she was just gone.
Hiding out in my bedroom, I dialed her number and hoped she answered. These days, Raven often let her phone go to voice mail. I wasn’t sure if this was because she was busy or avoiding me. Growing up, I wouldn’t have imagined a time when I’d suspect my sister of dodging me. Of course, I never would have dreamed she would ditch town and leave me behind.
This time, she answered, sounding in a rush. “Hey,” she said and I already felt like hanging up.
Even though I wanted to ask why she hadn’t called me back after the last three messages I left, I didn’t say the words. I feared she would admit she didn’t want to talk to me and I wasn’t brave enough for the truth.
“Are you busy?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m about to go out.”
Knowing she was on a cell and could take it with her, I again felt the urge to yell at her for hiding from me these last months. When she first moved away, Raven called and told me how much she missed me. Back then, she seemed homesick without me. Now, she just sounded sick of hearing my voice.
“I met someone,” I said.
“A guy?”
“Yes.”
“What’s his name?”
“Aaron. He’s a tattoo artist.”
“An artist. Sounds like you.”
Lately, whenever we spoke, everything she said sounded like an insult. I wasn’t sure if my feelings were hurt or if she was being a bitch. For the first time, I realized I didn’t want to talk to her either.
“I know you’re busy, so I’ll let you go.”
Raven said nothing for a minute then sighed. “Is Larry giving you trouble about dating Aaron?”
“I’m not dating Aaron. I just like him.”
“Does he have a girlfriend?”
“I don’t think so.”
“What’ the problem then?”
“Every time he’s around, fate seems to keep us from talking.”
“Fate?”
“Cooper said he would pay to have my tattoo fixed if I went to Aaron’s shop. I guess, I’ll try to go, but fate always keeps us apart. It’s probably not going to happen.”
“Fuck fate,” Raven growled. “If you like this guy, you make him pay attention to you. See if he’s the guy you think. If he is and he wants you, fuck fate and fuck Larry and his stupid rules. You make things happen because no one’s going to give you shit in life.”
“Are you okay?” I asked softly.
“Yes, I’m fine,” Raven said, sighing loudly. “I just don’t want you wasting your life because you think you have to follow some man’s rules. Make the most of what you have, Lark. You deserve to have this guy if he makes you happy. If he doesn’t, find someone else. Or don’t, but never let anything stand in your way. Just shove the bullshit out of your way and make things happen. You deserve that.”
“I miss you.”
Raven sighed again. “I miss you too. Your birthday’s coming up and I’ll send you something.”
“Maybe you could visit.”
Raven said nothing and that was an answer in itself.
“So are you with Dexter?”
“No.”
Her tone made clear she wasn’t talking about the matter.
“Do you have a job?”
“Yes and I’m going to be late. I’ll call you soon.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“Love you too. Be brave, Lark. Never let anyone take your dreams from you, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Bye,” she said, hanging up before I responded.
Sitting on my bed, I thought about Raven’s behavior since leaving. It made sense in a lot of ways. I was part of her old life and she didn’t like her old life. Once, she was my best friend. Now, she was a stranger.
Besides my breaking heart, I did hold onto her words about Aaron. Maybe once we hung out, whatever I felt would fade or disappear. Anything was possible, but I would never know if I didn’t make a move.
Fuck fate. I was taking what I wanted and I knew exactly where to find him.
Chapter Four - Aaron
Cooper had been my best friend since middle school. Even knowing him since first grade, my tolerance level didn’t allow a friendship. He was loud and rude and I thought he sucked. On the second day of seventh grade, I saw a disabled kid getting hassled by the school dipshits and stepped in. They weren’t impressed. After I threw a few punches, they were more impressed. However, I was on my way to getting an ass-kicking. Playing hero, Cooper arrived and made such a mess that the rich boy was suspended for a week. When he returned to school, I thanked him. Not in an overly friendly way because I still thought he was jerk. Cooper looked at me then glared at one of the guys down the hall.
“Who picks on a disabled kid like that? Sick fucks.”
Seeing him all protective of a kid he didn’t know made me like him more. Seeing me take a partial beating for the kid made him respect me more. By the next week, we were friends. Unlike girls, we didn’t make a deal of it. Instead, we just started hanging out and we were hanging even now.
Cooper didn’t need to do anything in our shared business. I handled the clients, billing, and everything financial. In the past, he’d show up to chat with my pretty apprentice Jade. Now, Jade was a full fledged artist and in a relationship while Cooper was married. No more flirting, but he still dropped by, acted like he gave a shit about taxes and bills, then took me to lunch at the nearby sandwich shop.
“What’s up your butt, man?” he asked after his first sandwich.
“Nothing. I’m just tired.”
“You seem sad. Do you need a hug?” When I flipped him off, Cooper’s grin widened. “You’re hot for a girl. Hmm…let me guess which one.” Cooper tapped at his forehead. “Does it rhyme with Noah’s boat?”
Frowning, I leaned back and ignored him. Cooper refused to be ignored and continued, “At the wedding, you gave yourself away. I doubt anyone else noticed, but they don’t know you like I do.”
“Gave myself away how? I didn’t even talk to her.”
“No, but whenever she came in your vicinity, you got really quiet like a predator on the hunt. Besides, you brought that hot redhead. As much as I know how you love redheads, you acted like you were on a date with your sister or something. No heat. The only way you don’t get hard for a redhead is if a girl’s got your heart wrapped up.”
Frowning, I didn’t want to admit he was right. Cooper was too fucking arrogant as it was.
“She’s a cute chick,” Cooper said when I remained silent. “Sweet too. A girl like that will swoon for you like Tawny never would. The way a bitch like Kristen never would either.”
“I don’t even know her.”
“But you want to.”
“She’s beautiful, but that’s the end of it.”
“A lot of girls are beautiful, but Farah is beautiful in a different way,” he said, getting that dreamy look when talking about his girl. “She made me see her and not want to look at any other chick. Farah didn’t have to try either. That’s the thing about you and Lark. You two were breathing in rhythm at the reception dinner and never even said more than hello. Maybe you did at the wedding too, but I was sort of busy staring at my hot wife.”
“Yeah, you were drooling all over the wedding reception. Hell, I saw a few people slip on the fucking dance floor. It was pretty disgusting.”
“Nope. You’re not changing the subject. I’m sick of you hooking up with stupid bitches you don’t want because you’re afraid of getting played like you did by Kristen. Lark isn’t that bitch. She’ll treat you good and you need a chick to swoon over and write poetry for and paint and… Shit, you’re already painting her, aren’t you?”
“Fuck off, Coop.”
“Is she dressed in these paintings?” he asked, wiggling his brows.
“How would I know what she looks like naked?”
“Use your imagination. You know the parts on a chick.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“An idiot in love and it feels good. Feels solid like I have a part of my life that just fits. I didn’t even know I needed that part. Farah’s my girl and I think Lark could be yours. Even more than me, you need a girl, man. You need it because you’re a guy who has all that soft romantic shit in you and you have no place to put it. Get yourself that girl and make your life solid.”
“I don’t know her. I could have built up an idea of her that she can’t live up to.”
“I never had a clue with Farah. She didn’t make sense and I would get pissed when she did what I didn’t want her to do. Why couldn’t she just be my puppet? Even though she wasn’t what I thought she should be, she was perfect. She’s still perfect.”
“You really thinking about working on a kid? You just got married.”
“Want to do stuff now. Why the fuck wait?”
“When Jade’s sister had a kid, she couldn’t fuck for six weeks afterwards. Doctor’s orders. You going to wait six weeks?”
Cooper frowned like I was batshit crazy. “That sounds wrong. I can’t imagine my pop going six weeks without getting laid and the guy has four kids. That’
s twenty four weeks without pussy. No, there must be an exception.”
Laughing at him, I couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not. Cooper finally stretched his arms along the back of the booth.
“Farah and I can play other ways. She’s really open to playing. Curious too.”
“I don’t need to know all that.”
“I’m proud of her, is all. Can’t a husband give his girl props for getting over her issues and loving all that I have to offer?”
“Again, too much info.”
“If you don’t make a move on Lark, I’m going to hook you two up. Don’t make me stoop to that shit, man. Bad enough I’m helping Tucker find a decent fuck for Bailey. I really don’t need to play matchmaker with you too.”
“I’ve got it handled.”
Cooper smirked. “Lark’s coming to your shop to get a tat fixed. You’re welcome for that.”
“What?” I muttered, frowning even if this idea interested me.
“She’s got a lame worm tat and needs it fixed. She works at that Denny’s and can’t afford it, so I said I would pay. I like paying for chicks to get nice tats. Makes me feel charitable.”
“It’s a worm?” I asked, wondering why Lark would have a fucking worm tattoo.
“Looks like one. I think it was supposed to be a butterfly. I can’t remember. Farah got all territorial and I about jizzed my pants.”
“Too much fucking info, man,” I said, emphasizing each word.
“Whatever. Just make sure you look your best when she shows up. I don’t want you scaring her away. She’s cute and available and I don’t want Vaughn messing with Lark. He’s trouble and will eat her alive.”
Even though I said nothing, Cooper started laughing. “You’re jealous.” Exhaling hard, I flipped him off again, but he just kept laughing. “Yeah, well, you better get that girl or I might set her up with someone from the club. Judd still gets weird around Mac. Need to get him a woman so Judd won’t kill him on accident one day,” Cooper said, air quoting “accident.”
Leaning back, I doodled on my napkin until I realized I was drawing Lark again. Cooper didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy frowning at his phone.