by Quil Carter
“Don’t you have a family looking for you?” Sasha said, lowering his tone.
Sasha was shocked when Kel’s face fell. His lower lip tightened and his eyes became heavy with sadness.
“No,” Kel said, his voice becoming small and sorrowful. “They were happy when the little faggot disappeared.” His eyes deflected from Sasha’s and he wiped his nose. “Probably… probably working the streets of Vancouver like the drug addict whore he was.”
Sasha’s mouth dropped open. No matter who Kel was, or what he’d done to Sasha, having that be his past was… incredibly sad. Since Lex was gay, Sasha had never worried about not being accepted when he’d come out. Lex even joked about disowning him if he turned out to be straight.
To have your family turn their back on you because of something you were born as, something that was such a small part of one’s personality and who they were…
Sasha’s heart wanted to refuse the feelings of empathy and sympathy towards this man. What he’d done last night would lay a scar right across Sasha’s being for the rest of his life. But the feelings wormed their way into Sasha’s emotions anyway.
“I’m so sorry,” Sasha whispered. “Did… Kheva take you in?”
Kel picked at the food, obviously as more of a distraction for himself than wanting to eat. He nodded and began piling some of the food onto a piece of toast.
Curiosity lubricated Sasha’s lips. He wanted to know more about this strange person, about both of them. Who were they? Where did they come from? And why were they different? Was it some sort of genetic defect, or something… unexplainable?
“Did Kheva… make you how you are now?” Sasha asked slowly.
Was he going to make me the same way?
Kel ate the piece of bread and speared a sausage. It was silent for a good minute until it became obvious that Kel wasn’t going to answer him back. If Sasha was smart, he’d see this as a warning sign, but unable to help himself, he pushed on.
“Kel…” Sasha dropped his voice. “Were you…” He didn’t know how to phrase it without sounding offensive, but when he was reminded of just what Kel had done to him last night, he decided to just ask it bluntly. Why was he being polite to the man who raped him?
“Did you have the mental problems before Kheva brought you here? Or… did he make you like this?”
Kel’s head lifted, and his pupils retracted at the same time that his face tightened in anger. Sasha only had a split second to regret his question, before Kel raised a hand and backhanded him across the face.
“Kheva saved me!” Kel snapped. He hit Sasha again, the fork Sasha had been holding falling onto the plate with a loud clatter. “And there’s nothing wrong with me now. There’s nothing wrong with me now. Master says I’m perfect.” Kel got up and grabbed the almost empty plate of food. As Sasha held his face, Kel hit him one more time and stormed out of the room.
Sasha rubbed his stinging cheek, contemplating his own idiocy for asking such a question. He opened his eyes and saw that he was now alone in the bedroom, nothing but the sounds of Kel’s descent of the stairs reaching his ears.
A large part of him wanted to just go back to sleep. He was feeling so low, so filthy and worthless, there was no urge for him to get out of the bed. When he was feeling this depressed in his apartment, he’d do just that… stay in bed all day and sleep, watch TV, or daydream that he had another life; that one day his real life would begin.
How did he end up here? At one point in time he was a happy child living with his best friend, his uncle. He didn’t remember his father at all, but what he did remember was playing with his uncle, laughing with him and the friends he had when he was young. Everything seemed so carefree back then.
And now look at where he was. After being promised understanding, to develop his powers, to be a part of something… he was now feeling lower than ever. He was a mess of blood, covered in bruises and small cuts, lying in the bed of the man who enslaved him, and the man who violated him.
Sasha sniffed and wiped his eyes with a hand covered in dried, flaking blood. What was worse… was that he knew right now he was just stunned, trapped in survival mode. The after effects of being brutally raped, especially with the shame added in of Kheva making him feel that pleasure, making him cum, hadn’t been felt yet.
He was in for many years of nightmares, anxiety, trust issues… his problems were only beginning.
Especially considering he was still living with them––and he had no way of getting home.
But at least he could get clean… he could scrub this shit off of himself.
And at that prompting, Sasha was hit with an overwhelming feeling of disgust over his body, and the intense urge to scrub himself clean. He had to be clean, as clean as he could get himself. Not a single flake of their skin cells could be on him… and their cum… their cum especially.
Sasha gingerly rose to his feet, the dried blood on him cracking from his movements. He picked up his cloth pants and put them on, and walked downstairs to the lower level.
He spotted Kheva sitting in the black chair with the television on. There was a steaming cup of what smelled like coffee beside him and a leather-bound book on his lap. It appeared that he was writing in that book.
Sasha looked around for Kel, but he couldn’t be seen. The only other living thing in the house was Jye, who was stretched out on his back in front of one of the floor vents.
“If you ever question Kel like that again, I’ll break your jaw.”
Sasha stopped dead in his tracks. He looked over to Kheva and saw the Master glaring at him, his face downright hostile.
Sasha’s mouth opened to plead his case, but his sense of self-preservation stopped him. He knew there was nothing he could say to Kheva to let him off of the hook. The only thing he could take away from the experience was the knowledge that Kel would tell his master anything and everything.
Or perhaps because of that mental connection they could do… Kel didn’t have to say a word.
Either way, Sasha’s face was still burning from Kel’s attack, and every muscle in him was sore. There were many injuries on his battered body, and he didn’t need to add another one.
“I’m sorry, Master Kheva,” Sasha said. He turned from him and walked into the bathroom, his shoulders slumped.
And what proceeded was the longest shower Sasha had ever had. After looking underneath the sink and finding a sponge with a scratchy end, he soaped himself up and scrubbed his skin until it was bright pink. Most of the attention was towards his genitals and backside, and Sasha even ended up trimming off a lot of his pubic hair with a razor that was inside the shower. It made him feel cleaner to have most of it off, he wasn’t sure why.
When he was done, his body was even more sore, his skin tender to the touch and burning. But at least he’d gotten all of the blood off of him, and what cum remained inside.
It wasn’t much… but it was something.
Sasha stepped out of the shower and found clean clothes waiting for him beside the sink. He put on a grey t-shirt and a pair of black pants, and also clean socks and underwear, and walked into the living room.
He stopped the moment he stepped into the living room, both Kel and Kheva were sitting on the couch watching the television.
Kel brightened when he saw Sasha, his anger at Sasha seemingly forgotten. “You’re being looked for!” he exclaimed. Sasha’s heart jumped. “Come see.”
“What?” Sasha’s breath caught in his throat. He walked to where Kel and Kheva were and turned towards the television at the other end of the living room.
Lex was talking to what looked like a reporter.
Sasha’s mouth went dry, and a lump formed behind his Adam’s apple. Lex had his arms crossed and his blue eyes were large and staring. He looked… really worried.
A pang of guilt hit Sasha. He sat down on the couch beside Kheva, who picked up the remote and brought up a list of what looked like recorded shows. The master nightcrawler once again pro
ved he had a good amount of money on him. DVRs were new technology and expensive as fuck.
Kheva selected the program that was currently recording and made it play from the beginning. It was the local news for the island… he’d made the damn news.
Sasha wiped both of his hands down his face and shook his head. He needed to go home. He had to go home before they violated him again, or did worse. Though what that worse was, Sasha didn’t know.
Seeing Lex look so sad. Maybe… maybe he’d be sad enough to want Sasha to stay home. And if he could just bring back proof that Kel and Kheva were like him…
“And for our next story… a man from Cranden is missing tonight. Nineteen-year-old Alexander Zakharin, known to his family as Sasha, disappeared Monday evening. Sasha was being evaluated for psychiatric issues and fled the home he lived in under the care of his uncle. Our Trisha Robenson spoke to Sasha’s uncle, Lex Zakharin.”
Lex appeared on the screen, and once again Sasha saw that look… like Lex’s insides were being ripped out of him. “He’s not in a good place right now…” Lex began. “We were trying to get him into psychiatric care and he ran from us. He’s… he’s not dangerous, but he’s mentally ill and in distress. We’re all very worried about him, and we want him to come home so he can get the care he needs. He’s – he was refusing to take medication for his illness. Right now, I’m fearful that he’s lost, hurting himself, or letting others hurt him.”
Sasha’s heart dropped out of him.
That fuck.
“I’m not fucking mentally ill!” Sasha yelled. Tears threatened to spring to his eyes, but they were burned up by the rage rushing through him. “I don’t fucking need medication, and I definitely don’t fucking need psychiatric care!”
“If Sasha is watching this right now… what would you say to him?”
Sasha’s blazing eyes rose. He looked up over his brow and glared at the television.
And Lex looked back.
“Please come home, Sasha. You need help and running away isn’t going to do you any good. We love you, Jobe is worried sick… we just want you to be okay. Please, Sasha, don’t do this. Come home so we can help you, so we can get the old Sasha back.” Lex’s eyes shone; he looked near tears.
Sasha’s jaw clenched. “Shut it off,” he said bitterly. “I’ve seen enough.”
The video was stopped and Sasha turned from the TV. He was standing rigid with his fists clenched tight.
Just hearing Lex reiterate his intentions, and his belief that Sasha was mentally ill, filled his mouth with acid. The longing he’d felt last night, to go back to his apartment and face them… was gone.
He still knew he had to get out of there, but…
…he wasn’t going back home. No. Never. Fucking never.
“I’m not mentally ill,” Sasha said a second time. He put his hands behind his head and let out a frustrated noise. “Everyone fucking thinks I’m crazy, but here I am. Fucking here I am, Kheva. I’m here with the two guys who they don’t believe exist, having to… having to do exactly what they got disgusted over, to keep me from rolling around on the ground in agony. Is that fair?”
Suddenly Sasha realized just who he was ranting towards. He remembered himself, or more the aching muscles and his painful backside, and stopped pacing.
Kheva turned off the television and set the remote down. “He’s no longer relevant to your life,” he said simply. “There is no need for anger for he does not matter. Does he, Alexander?”
Sasha felt a spring of annoyance at being called his birth name.
“Why do they call you Sasha?” Kel asked innocently.
“He’s Russian, Keluva, just like we are,” Kheva answered. “His last name is enough to give it away, Keluva. Sasha is a diminutive of Alexander. Your uncle shares that name with you, doesn’t he?”
Sasha nodded. He glanced at the now dark television, and slowly the reality of just how alone he was, began to hit him. “That’s right,” Sasha said. “I’ve never been called Alexander in my life… it was always Sasha.” He stood in front of the TV and felt the emotion rise in his throat, the hopelessness, the fear of them violating him again, and the sadness that… he still didn’t belong anywhere.
He just didn’t fit in this world. This place had ended up… just being a nightmare. They’d fucking tricked him and now he was a prisoner and a fucking slave.
The clenched jaw locked, and Sasha suddenly felt a rage begin to burn him. Just like the anger he’d felt last night when he’d attempted to stab Kheva in the neck. It was coming quick and it was already beginning to feel overwhelming.
“Master… may I go outside?” Sasha whispered. He became aware that his fists were so tightly locked he could feel the pain of his fingernails digging into the soft flesh of his palms.
“You may.”
That was all he needed to hear. Sasha turned from the living room and stalked outside. He looked around for something to hit, but when he saw nothing but the yellow and green field, and the structures littered throughout, he just closed his eyes and screamed at the top of his lungs. When he’d emptied his lungs, he grabbed his hair and pulled it, trying to cause himself as much pain as he could.
He opened his eyes and saw a shovel leaning up against a row of what looked to be rose bushes. Sasha picked up the shovel and threw it towards a group of birds that had gathered to eat worms from the ground.
“I’m not fucking mentally ill!” Sasha screamed to the world. “I just want to belong somewhere. Is that so fucking hard to ask? I want to be a part of a family that loves me, that understands me, that doesn’t try to ship me off to the nut house, or fucking rape me!” Sasha kicked a water jug with his bare feet, then a nearby empty plant pot. “I’m sick of this! I’m fucking tired of this! I’M TIRED, OKAY?”
Then he dropped to his knees and felt his shoulders start to shake. He closed his eyes and clasped his hands around his neck.
In his head, he saw Lex sitting with Jobe. His uncle and his best friend, even though they were more likely each other’s best friends now. They’d been conspiring with each other to get rid of Sasha for a long time.
They’re probably fucking.
A swell of bitterness hit Sasha. He’s said it out of anger, but it was something he’d always been afraid of.
But why did he care now? They were gone, cut out from his life. Fuck them. Fuck everyone.
Then suddenly a vivid image was shot to the front of his mind. It was clear, not the wispy catches of scattered memories that one’s imagination conjured up, but something so clear it was as if he was watching a television in front of his mind.
It was Kel and Kheva.
And when they spoke…
… Sasha could hear them in his head.
“Why is he yelling, Master?”
What? Sasha focused on the image, his inner mind’s eye narrowing with curiosity. They were in the living room still sitting on the couch… right where Sasha had last seen them.
“The transition has been difficult on him,” Kheva replied. He was writing in that book, but currently the pen was being chewed on with his teeth. “You know from your training, Keluva. Intense stress cracks one’s mind, and we need that mind cracked open in order to reveal the powers that lay inside.”
Kel frowned, his face showing creases from the scowled look. His sky-blue eyes stared longingly at the sliding glass door, and Sasha was fascinated to see himself sitting in the distance. “I wish he was happier,” Kel replied. “When will he be happier?”
Kheva lowered the pen and began to write again. “That’s up to him,” he replied. “He’s still at the beginning of his training. He’s still attached to his home and his family… unfortunate wretch doesn’t realize he’s not really missed. If he only knew the feelings Lex and Jobe are trying to hide from each other.”
What? What’s Kheva saying?
Kel sighed. He reached over and grabbed some chocolate candies he’d put on the coffee table for himself and began to choose which
one he wanted to eat. Finally, Kel seemed to decide on what his mind told Sasha was a chocolate caramel, and he popped it into his mouth. He slowly chewed, his eyes fixed forward as his jaw moved up and down.
“Are you worried about the voice?” Kel asked once his mouth was clear of food.
Kheva’s eyes narrowed at the thought. “He derives strength from Sasha, sees him as a way out of the prison I put him into. But that’s irrelevant; I will destroy him like I do every time he decides to become a problem.”
Suddenly Kel’s face changed. Sasha felt a swell of anxiety rip through him when he saw the man’s mouth twist into the strangest of smiles. It was unnatural on his face, something that was so out-of-character Sasha’s own mind seemed to change in temperature.
Kel picked out another chocolate and examined it, then his eyes flickered up, and he turned towards Kheva. “Like how Daddy destroyed you?”
That… wasn’t Kel’s voice.
That was the same voice that Sasha had been hearing.
What the fuck was going on?
The Master’s head jerked towards Kel, and the neutral expression on his face twisted into an inhuman look of rage. The book dropped from his lap as he stood, the pen as well, and both fell to the floor with a thunk that echoed through, not only the room, but Sasha’s thoughts as well.
“I was enjoying the peace,” Kheva growled.
“Treasure it while you can, you fucking fagg-” The words got cut off as Kel let out a horrific shriek. But the scream wasn’t in Kel’s voice, it was still the fucking infiltrator that had been whispering inside of Sasha’s head.
Sasha stared in shock as Kel dropped to the ground, but as he tried to rip himself free of this stumbled-upon phenomenon, something else happened. Sasha was pulled away from the vision, the colours and sounds going back to their muddled blurry state, and was thrown back into one he’d accidentally visited before.