Zach supposed that was how he should feel. Instead the bitter taste of rejection remained.
“Think of it this way. You get to stay on top of the Collins project. I know it would have killed you to pass that job off to another salesman. Your turn will come, Zach, and even though I know you’re disappointed, I’m glad you are still part of our team.”
Zach knew he was expected to toe the company line and agree with Daryl’s pep talk, but he couldn’t do it. After spending the past weeks talking himself up, literally selling himself for the sake of the promotion, he’d run out of things to say. The man with the silver tongue, the salesperson who could sell the proverbial icemaker to an Eskimo, had failed. He hadn’t been able to make the most important sale. He couldn’t get the corporate office to buy into him as the VP of sales.
Instead, he gave an abrupt nod and left his boss’s office. The plush burgundy carpet leading the way to his door was the same as the day before, but Zach felt as though he were slugging through knee-high marshland.
He could feel himself being dragged down, his sky-high goals drifting further and further out of reach, and he knew he had to break free before it was too late. Maybe the VP position was only one missed promotion, but before long, it would be one lost bid, one dropped client, then another and another.
How many times had he reminded himself he couldn’t have a personal life and expect to get ahead in business? He’d known that for years yet he’d let himself be distracted, and now he was paying.
He rounded the corner to his office and almost ran into Allison. She stopped short and braced her hands on his chest. Her familiar touch burned into him, and he jerked back but not before he felt like he wore her brand on his skin.
“Good morning.” Her smile was as bright as ever, the dimple in her right cheek flashing, but for Zach, it was like he’d come out of a subterranean cave and everything bright and beautiful could only cause him pain.
“I can’t talk right now, Allison.”
The loss of the promotion hit harder than he would have expected, and the anger and frustration he’d buried during the conference call were rising to the surface—smoldering, virulent, and ready to explode.
“What’s wrong?” she asked as she reversed direction and dogged his heels when the best thing for both of them would be for her to leave him alone. “You might as well tell me. You know how persistent I am.”
He knew. And if Allison wanted to know what was wrong… Zach waited until they reached his office and he’d closed the door to say, “Bob Henderson got the promotion.”
“Oh, Zach, I’m so sorry.” She exhaled a sigh, her earlier cheer deserting her. But while Zach could see for himself that Allison was sorry, completely missing from her expression was any sign of surprise. Any at all.
“I should have had that promotion,” he argued. “I should have—”
“Should have what? Worked harder, longer? Put in twenty hour days instead of your usual fourteen?”
He snorted. “Sure as hell isn’t what Bob Henderson did.”
“No, it’s not. But he still got the promotion. Do you know why?”
Zach didn’t give a damn why Bob got the promotion. He couldn’t see beyond the reason why he hadn’t. “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late now.”
Persistent as promised, Allison refused to let go. “The VP job is a supervisory position. One that’s perfect for him. But it isn’t the job for you.”
Not the job for him, Zach thought grimly. The board of directors couldn’t have said it better.
“Allison—just forget it.”
“You’re a great salesman, Zach. Look at the job you did with James Collins.”
“I have other contacts,” he ground out from jaws nearly locked together, “other bids in the works. I should have been going after those instead of—” He cut off again, but it was too late.
Allison took a step back, her face turning pale. “You think you lost the promotion because of our—” She cut off her own words, stopping short of identifying what they’d shared as a relationship. “You think you lost the promotion because of me?”
“I knew this wouldn’t work, Allison. I’m sorry.”
Color rushed back into her cheeks, and her green eyes snapped with anger. “I’m sorry, too, Zach. In fact, I feel sorry for you. Success isn’t about how many promotions you can chalk up before you’re thirty. Success is enjoying what you do. If you’d stop to think about something other than moving up the ladder, you might even realize how much you’d hate working in a management position!”
“You’re one to talk, aren’t you? You already have a job you hate, not to mention a dozen or so hobbies you’re no good at. Tell me, Allison, how happy are you?”
The sudden buzz of the intercom jarred them apart like boxers to their corners at the ring of the bell. Martha’s voice sounded over the speaker. “Zach, Mr. Collins is on line one.”
Taking a deep breath to try to calm the volatile emotions rippling through the room like aftershocks from a quake, he said, “I can’t do this. Not here, not now.”
Allison met his gaze, her green eyes unflinching. “There won’t be a later,” she warned softly.
He’d known. He’d known from the start that one day he would have to make a choice. Turning his back on Allison, he reached for the phone.
Zach didn’t bother to glance away from his computer when he heard the knock. “Come in,” he barked.
He heard the door open, but when the intruder didn’t speak, Zach kept working. It was the only thing to keep him going since the failed promotion.
It’s not the promotion, a know-it-all voice goaded. Dismal failure haunted him with wounded green eyes every time he closed his eyes, but Zach had found a cure. The same prescription he’d followed for years. He kept working.
“Zach…” Daryl’s voice buzzed on the edge of his thoughts, barely rising above the constant electronic hum of the hard drive.
Without looking away from the schematics for a new shopping mall in the northwest valley, Zach said, “Did you see the file I emailed you? The contract’s not as big as the Collins account, but it’s a decent-sized job.”
“I saw it, but that’s not what I want to talk to you about.”
Something in his boss’s voice caught his attention, and Zach pulled his gaze away from the computer screen that had become his window to the rest of the world for the past week. He had to blink a few times to retrain his eyes to focus on something other than flat-screen pixels.
He’d barely seen Allison since their argument. He didn’t know how she’d convinced Daryl, but lately she’d been working with the other salesmen. He kept expecting the day to come when she was no longer at Knox, when she would move on to another temp job. But every now and then, he’d hear her laughter or sense the change in the air when she walked by his office. Each time, he had to lock his muscles into place, sometimes going as far as to grab hold of the arms of his chair to keep from running after her.
He owed her an apology; he’d acted like a total ass, turning his temper loose on her when he had only himself to blame.
A worried frown pulled at Daryl’s eyebrows, and Zach immediately demanded, “What’s wrong?” Had something happened to Allison? Grim possibilities ran through his mind—accidents, illness, injuries…
“It’s Bob Henderson.”
“What?” His rival was the last person who would have come to mind, and Zach blankly asked, “What about him?”
“He had a heart attack at work yesterday. From what I understand, he’s stabilized, but the cardiologist has recommended bypass surgery. With the recovery time required, it’s unlikely he’ll be back to work any time soon, and if he does return, it will be on a part-time basis. He’s stepping down from the VP position.”
Zach knew where his boss was going with the conversation, but after the disappointment of losing the promotion, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
Daryl seemed to have sensed as much because he added,
“You have an interview in San Francisco tomorrow, but it’s little more than a formality. The job’s yours.”
His boss waited expectantly, but Zach still couldn’t get beyond a feeling of disbelief. “What about all the reasons I wasn’t right for the job? Did the extra week of experience make that big of a difference?”
“It was a close call between you and Bob to begin with, and I have no doubt you’ll prove any detractors wrong in no time. That is…if you still want the job.”
If he still wanted the job… Of course he wanted the job. Didn’t he?
Allison’s laughing face flashed through his thoughts, and for a moment, Zach considered what life might be like if he stayed. If they made up from the fight they’d had, if they gave a relationship a shot. He knew Allison wanted to get married and have a family. Like a DVD on fast-forward, his thoughts rushed ahead to Allison holding a blond-haired, green-eyed girl or maybe a dark-haired boy.
But then the DVD playing in his mind skipped backward, to his father’s darkened den where his old man spent countless hours watching the glory days of his high school football career, filled with bitterness over the life he could have had…
“I still want it,” Zach told Daryl, almost grimly.
The older man studied Zach silently, almost as if trying to read into his thoughts. “I want you to know, you had my support the first time around. I had my doubts when you first applied for the position, but your work with Allison changed my mind.”
“What does Allison have to do with anything?”
Behind his wire-rimmed glasses, Daryl’s speculative gaze had Zach wondering if his relationship with Allison wasn’t such a secret after all. “The first time I met Allison, I knew there was something special about her.”
Zach had known it as well. Known it and fought it with every cell in his body, but that was hardly something he wanted to discuss with his boss. “Daryl—”
“Untapped potential. I saw it right away, and you were the one who brought out the best in her. That’s what a manager needs to do. I wasn’t sure you had it in you, but you proved me wrong, Zach.”
“Allie never needed me to bring out the best in her,” Zach protested quietly. “She’s amazing all on her own.”
But being with Allison had done what Zach always feared a relationship would. It had brought out the worst in him. The part of himself he’d long sought to ignore, to deny. The part of him that was every bit his father’s son. Coulda had it all if it wasn’t for you…
How many times had Zach faced his father’s accusations only to throw those same words back at Allison? He’d blamed her for losing the promotion when, in truth, he wouldn’t have been in the running if not for her.
Regret clutched his gut, and Zach knew. He couldn’t do to Allison what his father had done to his mother and him.
Looking at Daryl, he asked, “When’s my flight?”
Allison thought maybe if she stayed angry, the pain would start to ease before her anger faded away. So she spent her mornings blow-drying her hair, putting on her makeup and driving into work replaying every minute of her argument with Zach.
She’d hated seeing him beat himself up over a decision he had no control over. No one could have done more for that promotion. Over the past three weeks, she’d witnessed how hard he worked, and she’d wanted Zach to be as proud of himself as she was of him—promotion or no promotion.
She’d tried to convince him of that until it hit her like a slap in the face. The frustration and regret pulsing beneath the surface wasn’t because Zach blamed himself—he blamed her. She loved him, and yet Zach saw their relationship as nothing more than a convenient excuse for his failure—just like Kevin had.
And she only had herself to blame. How many times had Zach warned her that business came first? Did she really think she was so special or the time they spent together so spectacular that he would suddenly change his mind, giving up goals he’d spent a lifetime climbing?
Yes, Allison admitted as she closed her car door with more force than necessary. That was exactly what she’d hoped, which only went to prove she was a bigger fool than she might have thought.
Fortunately, she hadn’t had to see her foolishness reflected back to her in Zach’s blue eyes. She’d barely seen him since their fight. One of the newest sales assistants had quit without notice and Allison was doing her best to help the overloaded staff. Daryl had made it clear she had a job at Knox for as long as she wanted, but Allison had agreed to stay only until they found a replacement.
Remember Plan A…
As Allison waited for the elevator to take her to the fourth floor, she could almost laugh at her earlier certainty that another few weeks working with Zach wouldn’t have any effect on the goals she’d made. She couldn’t imagine a backup plan that could have saved her from her mistake in falling in love with Zach Wilder.
She’d barely stepped off the elevator when Brett came jogging toward her. “Hey, Allison, did you hear the news?”
“Hear what?” she asked when he fell in step beside her. “No. Let me guess.”
She didn’t think the kid could manage a conversation without bringing up Zach’s name. His admiration had blown into a major case of hero worship, but that was Allison’s fault, too. She’d been the one to encourage Zach to work with the sales assistant. She was still a little surprised he’d taken on the task.
“Zach won yet another major account,” Allison guessed.
“No. He got the promotion.”
She met Brett’s excited gaze with a blank one of her own. “What promotion? I didn’t hear he was up for another promotion.”
“Not another promotion. The VP job.” His excitement mellowed slightly as he explained, “Bob Henderson suffered a heart attack the other day. He’s gonna be okay, but he isn’t taking the promotion. Zach’s got an interview today, but everyone knows he’s got a lock on the job.”
“So, he’s—” Allison’s steps slowed “—he’s already left for California?”
“Yeah. He’ll be there for a week, checking things out. And he’s asked me to keep an eye on his accounts while he’s gone. Can you believe it? I mean, I guess they won’t be his accounts for much longer, but he still left me in charge. Pretty cool, huh?”
“All of his accounts?” Thinking of Riana Collins and her skintight suits, Allison winced. The woman would eat Brett alive and still have room for dessert.
He laughed. “Zach warned me about Riana Collins. I’ve got it all under control.”
“Uh-huh.”
The young man grinned, clearly anticipating life as a tasty morsel. “And Zach wanted me to find out when a good time was for me to stop by your place.”
“My place?”
“Yeah, to set up your alarm. He told me he didn’t have a chance to do it before he left.” Brett rolled his eyes. “He insisted I handle the install. Said it would build character. So when— Hey, are you okay?”
Forcing a smile, she said, “Sure, I’m fine.”
“You thought he forgot, didn’t you?”
“He’s kind of had a lot on his mind lately.” So much that he’d left without finding the time to tell her goodbye…
“He didn’t forget,” Brett reassured her. “I almost think he was more worried about getting your alarm installed than he was about me taking over his accounts, if you can believe it.”
As a matter of fact, she couldn’t. No doubt the alarm system was some kind of a parting gift—the Zach Wilder version of breakup jewelry. She couldn’t let herself believe it might mean something more—that Zach cared about her or was worried about leaving her. “We’ll set something up next week if you’re not too busy with all this new responsibility. I’m really proud of you, Brett.”
“Ah, it’s no big deal.” Embarrassed, he shrugged off her praise. “Zach’s the one you should really be proud of. I heard he’ll be one of the company’s youngest VPs. Think I’ll have what it takes to make VP someday?”
The eager gleam lighting
Brett’s face made Allison smile despite her mood. “Of course you will. You can do anything you put your mind to.”
“Thanks, Allison! I’ll catch you later.”
Her smile faded as Brett disappeared down the hall. She walked slowly toward the empty office she’d been using and sank down behind the desk.
You can do anything…
Her own words echoed in her thoughts, weighing her down until she didn’t think she’d be able to move from her chair. That certainly wasn’t what she’d said to Zach. She hadn’t encouraged him at all.
Why? Why had she been so sure he would hate the VP job?
Because he was such a good salesman she couldn’t see him in a different role? Because she worried that no promotion, no step up the ladder no matter how high, would truly make him happy?
Or were her reasons more personal than that? Deep down, had she wanted Bob Henderson to receive the promotion so Zach would stay in Phoenix?
An undeniable truth resounded in that thought. She’d tried to hold Zach back, the same way he always feared being in a relationship would.
She should have supported him. She should have encouraged him to go after his dreams even if had meant leaving her behind. At least then, maybe she would have had the chance to say goodbye.
Chapter Thirteen
Zach stepped through the airport’s automatic doors and immediately felt the dip in temperature from the sunny, ninety-degree weather he’d come from to the cool, damp air of San Francisco. A dull haze blocked the sun, giving the sky a predawn feel even though it was almost noon. As Zach flagged down a cab, he reminded himself he wasn’t there for the weather. He was there for the job, for the promotion he’d counted on.
And one he’d received by default.
Knox Security chose their man for the job, and it hadn’t been Zach.
Was that why the feeling of excitement was missing? Because he hadn’t actually earned the promotion?
He shoved the thought aside. Like a second string quarterback called into the game for the injured star, Zach might not be the coach’s first choice, but he’d earn the right to keep playing.
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