by T. J. Klune
He grinned. “Oh, I’m sure I can think of something.”
I grimaced. “Dude. Stop leering at me. It’s disturbing and gross and—”
“Are you quite finished?”
“Eep,” Kevin and I both said.
The Great White was crouched down toward the ground, his massive head cocked, eyes narrowed as he watched us. The destruction from his landing was terrifying, dozens of trees having been torn from their roots, crushed under his extraordinary hands and feet. His tail lay curled around him, ending in a barbed club of what looked like pure bone. His wings were folded at his sides, and I wondered how something so large could have remained hidden for so long.
“Okay,” Kevin said, “I’m feeling a little insecure about my size right about now.”
“You,” the Great White said. “Dragon.”
“Who is he talking to?” Kevin whispered to me.
I sighed. “You’re the only other dragon here.”
“Oh. Shit. Right. Okay. I’ve got this. Watch and learn.”
“Wait! Don’t do that weird thing where you talk like—”
“Greetings, O massive one,” Kevin said. “I hear ye spaketh to me. I shall spaketh to thee in return so that thou and thine may spaketh together in conversationeth like dragons of old. Eth.”
“Godsdammit,” I muttered.
“I’m so good at negotiation,” Kevin whispered to me.
“We’re not negotiating!”
He ignored me. “Hear ye, hear ye, oh gigantic dragon! In exchangeth for your services in destroying the villain knowneth as Myrin, I offer to you a favor in return!”
“And what favor is this?” the Great White asked.
“Maybe you should stop talking,” I suggested to Kevin. “Seeing as how he could eat us both in a single bite.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, pretty,” Kevin said. “I’m a dragon. He’s a dragon. We’re practically best friends already. Besides, I know how to handle situations just like this.” He raised his voice again as he addressed the Great White. “Thou are truly a gracious dragon. And I promise, no trickery to attract thou thither.”
“That’s not even a word!”
“It is so a word! Forgive him, oh significant one! He knoweth not of what he spaketh. He is a human, so therefore he is naturally stupideth and tiny and smells odd, but I like him, so I put up with him. Thou art understandeth me?”
“Put up with me? Now you wait just a godsdamn minute—”
“A favor!” Kevin said brightly, though something sounded off about it. “If you assist us in our quest of the destiny of dragons to end the darkness that surrounds Verania, I shall bestow upon you the greatest thing I have to give: my hoard.”
“And furthermore, it is I who has to put up with you—wait. What?”
“My hoard,” Kevin repeated, not looking down at me. “I will give unto you my hoard.”
“You would give to me your hoard?” the Great White said, sounding surprised for the first time since I’d heard him speak.
“Kevin,” I said, feeling numb. “You can’t. You know what your hoard means to you. It’s—”
“It’s not much,” Kevin admitted. “I have a lot of books because I adore stories of adventure. And I have brooms. Many, many brooms for reasons I do not wish to discuss presently. But there are gold and gems and coins and all manner of shiny things. But I would give it to you if it meant you would help us.”
“All of it?” the Great White asked as thunder rippled overhead.
Kevin swallowed thickly. “All of it.”
“Stop,” I said hoarsely. “You stop it. You hear me? You stop it right now. You stupid dragon. Why would you do that?”
Kevin finally looked down at me. “Because it’s the only thing I have to give, Sam. Of course I would give it up for you. And besides, I have a second hoard already that I refuse to part with. Do you know what that hoard is?”
I shook my head, blinking away the burn.
He pulled me up until we were eye level, leaning close. “Are you ready? Are you ready to hear what my second hoard is?”
I nodded slowly, sure that I was about to hear the greatest secret in the known world.
He whispered, “I would give him my hoard of books and brooms and shinies, because I already have a second hoard that means more to me than anything else. It’s the hoard of friendship.”
I gaped at him.
He stared at me, eyes wide, unblinking.
I gaped at him some more.
He had to blink a little because of the rain.
“Dude,” I finally managed to say. “That was the dumbest thing I have ever heard anyone say ever. And it totally gave me a heart boner! You asshole.”
“Ha! I made you have feelings.”
“You bitch!”
“And since I gave you a boner,” he purred, tongue snaking out and scraping along my cheek, “I can think of at least six things we can do with it.”
“Ugh,” I moaned, trying to wipe the copious amount of dragon spit off my face. “It’s a heart boner, you dick. Not a real one.”
“Give me forty seconds. I can make it a real one.”
“Trial reconciliation,” I reminded him.
He sighed. “With my love. Yes, you’re right. I cannot do anything to jeopardize that. Good thinking. But if your mother and I choose to end it, you’ll be the first one I come to for comfort. And by comfort, I mean—”
“I know what you mean,” I said hastily.
He nodded. “Good. Good, glad you know.” Then, “Okay, but just so we’re clear, comfort means really dirty sex. Like, really gross. As in I’ll do things to you that will make you so uncomfortable, you won’t know whether to spread your legs or get a restraining order.”
“I already know which one I’m leaning toward,” I assured him. I reached out and ran my hand along the top of his snout. “You didn’t have to offer that.”
He shrugged as if it was nothing, but I could see the way his eyes darted to the side. “I’d do anything for you, Sam. You’re my friend.”
“I know,” I said. “Which is why I can’t let you do that.” I twisted in his grip until I was looking back at the Great White. “You can’t have his hoard. I won’t let you take it from him.”
“Sam—”
“No,” I told him. “That’s not how this works. You shouldn’t have to give up anything. Not one single thing. Not to him. Not to anyone.”
“Curious,” the Great White said. “You are both but children, barely having learned to crawl, but there is loyalty between you that extends so much further than one would think. I wonder if the gods could have predicted this. Tell me, youngling, why would you be willing to sacrifice your hoard for this… this human?”
“Because he would do the same for me,” Kevin said, rain sluicing down his snout.
“We’re bros,” I told the Great White. “That’s what bros do for each other.”
“He’s also my stepson who I would just destroy if he—”
“Dude.”
“Oh. Right. There’s a time and place for everything. My bad.”
“So not what I meant.”
“It’s cool. We can just talk about this later.”
“Gods, seriously.”
“My word, Sam, stop trying to argue my way into your pants. It’s unbecoming in front of present company.” He looked back at the Great White. “Sorry about this. You know how Sam gets. Oh, that’s right. You don’t know how Sam gets. Are you in for a rude awakening.”
“Heart boner gone,” I muttered.
“I have no need of your hoard,” the Great White said as he shifted, knocking down another section of the forest with his tail. “There is only one thing that I require.”
I had a feeling I didn’t want the answer. “And what is that?”
The Great White raised his head until he loomed over us. Lightning flashed behind him, electricity crawling through the dark clouds. I blinked against the rain. “I will make you the wizard you n
eed to be. By the time I am done with you, your training will be complete. There will be no need of the Trials. You will ascend from an apprentice to a full-fledged wizard, and in doing so, will have the power and strength needed to harness all of the dragons of Verania. Only then will you be able to defeat the man in shadows.”
“But Morgan is—”
“Morgan is your mentor,” he said. “But he is also the brother of the villain you must defeat. The same villain that has marked you for consumption.”
A chill rolled down my spine. “How do you know about that?”
“I can sense it along your skin, Sam of Wilds. It leaks.”
“What does that have to do with Morgan?”
“He and Randall could not do what was right when the time came. They were given the chance to end the darkness before it became something more. Because of their weakness, because of their love, they chose instead to banish him.”
“They did it because they had hope, however slim it may have been.”
“Which is a weakness,” the Great White snarled. “Do you not fault them for their choices?”
I had. I thought maybe I still did. But I also thought I understood it more than I ever had before. “Would it have mattered?” I asked instead. “It’s always been leading to this, hasn’t it? The prophecy. My destiny. It’s a path set long before I was ever even a thought.”
“Possibly,” the dragon admitted begrudgingly. “But the paths set in stone can often be diverted.”
“Stone crumbles,” I whispered.
“Indeed.”
“What are you asking of me?”
The dragon’s eyes began to glow, white and pure. I felt him swirl within me, the strength of him overwhelming. I thought it more than all the other dragons combined. It took my breath away, the sheer size of it. My own eyes burned again, and I knew they were shining brightly in response.
The dragon spoke, whether aloud or in my head, I didn’t know.
But he was everywhere.
He said,
Come away with me, O human child.
In this forest deep, in the dark of the wild.
Where in these woods, you’ll face your fear,
as time doth stretch toward a year.
I blinked. “Did you—did you just rhyme at me?”
“Was that supposed to be a love poem?” Kevin asked, sounding confused. “Because I thought love poems were supposed to be about dicks and stuff. Like, roses are red, violets are blue, I would love it if I could put my penis in you.”
“He wasn’t telling me a love poem,” I said, sounding scandalized. “What the hell.”
“He was asking you to run away with him,” Kevin pointed out. “In this forest deep. He was probably talking about his butthole. Which, I mean, I suppose you can do that. If you want. But seriously. I’m all the dragon you’ll ever need. You know what they say, once you go Kevin, you’ll finally know heaven.”
“Oh my gods. Name one person besides Gary that says that.”
“Carl.”
“Who the fuck is Carl?”
“This guy. From this thing.”
“What guy from what thing?”
“This thing. You weren’t there.”
“Where was I?”
“At the… food. Store.”
“The food store.”
“Yes. The food store. You were buying food.”
“What kind of food?”
“Grapefruits.”
“Aha! I have never bought grapefruits in my life! I don’t even like grapefruit!”
“Curse your strangely specific palate!”
I turned back toward the Great White, feeling smug. “Yeah, dude. Listen. I’m not going to do whatever your weird little poem said. I’m just going to ask you to help me. That’s all I’m here for. So, mighty dragon, will you please assist me in protecting Verania from a douchebag villain?”
And the Great White said, “No.”
I… was at a loss for words. “Um. What?”
“I said no.”
“Why not?” I demanded.
“Are you willing to cut ties with the human world and follow me?”
I snorted as I tilted my head back to look at Kevin. “Is he being serious right now?”
“I think he’s being serious right now.”
I looked back at the Great White. “You want me to follow you. Into the Dark Woods. For up to a year. To become a full-fledged wizard. And in doing so, say goodbye to my friends and family.”
“Yes.”
“Not gonna happen, dude.”
“Then we’re done.” He began to turn away, the ground beneath us shaking with every lumbering step he took.
“Hey! Hey, now wait just a godsdamn minute!”
He didn’t stop.
“Kevin!”
“On it,” he said, spreading his wings. We lifted off the ground, and he moved quickly, flying up and over the Great White, then landing in front of him, blocking his path. Kevin kept his wings spread, as if he thought the bigger he looked, the more intimidating he’d be. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t really working.
The Great White looked down at us, eyes narrowed.
“You can’t just leave!” I demanded of the rather large dragon who could have squashed us both. I wondered if this was what Randall meant when he said that sometimes I could be really stupid.
“Can’t I?” the Great White said, lips curling over enormous teeth. “I made my offer. It was declined. I see no reason for anything further to be said.”
“I can’t just leave with you. And for a year? Are you out of your mind? One, the desert dragon is only awake for a year. Two, what do you think Myrin would do to Verania while I’m gone? Three, I won’t leave my family behind. Especially not my cornerstone.”
“Cornerstones,” the Great White said with a derisive huff. “You put so much weight upon them, and for what? Assurance? Security? What exactly does a cornerstone do for you?”
“A cornerstone keeps a wizard from going Dark,” I recited dutifully, not sounding as sure as I’d hoped I would.
“Why should that be dependent upon a single person?” the Great White asked. “Should you not have the strength within yourself to keep from falling into darkness?”
“Morgan and Randall said—”
“Randall’s cornerstone turned away from the light, and Randall himself did not. Morgan of Shadows lost his cornerstone to time, and yet he still stands as the right hand of the King. They have survived centuries without their cornerstones at their sides, and you don’t think you could last a year?”
“But they—”
“They have told you what they wanted you to hear. A fairy tale, Sam of Wilds, and nothing more. A cornerstone does not keep you from madness. That is something you must do yourself. I am offering you something that you should not consider lightly. The path is set in front of you. It diverges. Only you can decide which direction you take. It matters not to me.”
“How can you say that?” I snapped. “If Myrin comes for us all, he’ll eventually come for you!”
The Great White bared his teeth, and Kevin clutched me tightly to his chest. “Do you think the follies of men matter to me in the slightest? I am older than men. I watched as you crawled from the oceans, gasping for breath. I watched as you swung from the trees. I watched as you stood on two legs for the first time. I watched as your minds grew into conscious thought only to give way to greed. Humanity has been a blight upon this world. Its destruction would be no great loss. I have survived much, much worse than Myrin. Let him come. Maybe a cleansing is what is necessary to destroy the cancer.”
“You’d let that happen?” I was stunned. “You’d let the world fall?”
“It’s a course correction, apprentice. Sometimes it is necessary.”
“I won’t let that happen.”
“You will try,” the Great White said. “I have known about you, Sam of Wilds, for a very long time. I must say that I’m not impressed.
You think with your heart and not with your head. It will be your undoing. You do not know suffering. You do not know sacrifice. Everything has been handed to you. You are haughty and irresponsible. You act without thinking and somehow land on your feet. That will not always be the case. One day you will learn what sorrow is. And it will be more damning than you could possibly imagine. Come away with me, apprentice. In this forest deep. Into the dark of the wild. A year is what I require of you. Leave all the trappings of your humanity behind and I will give you the power to bring an end to the darkness.”
“Kevin,” I said flatly while glaring up at the Great White, “we’re done here.”
“Sam—”
“No. This was obviously a waste of time. He’s not going to help us. We need to find the others. They’re probably worried.”
Kevin sighed. “That’s most likely an understatement. I can already hear Gary’s… everything.”
“I told you once that you were not ready,” the Great White said, and I was so done with all his shit. “It would seem that I was right. You are just like all the others that have come before you. It will bring you nothing but ruination.”
I sputtered at him, but he was already lumbering past us, the ground shaking, the trees crashing down. “Yeah, well, screw you, pal!”
He ignored me.
But I’d gotten the last word in, so I won.
“He must be really fun at parties,” Kevin muttered. “How disappointing. You meet your idol, your idol turns out to be this weird old conspiracy theorist who wants you to follow him into the woods alone. This is why you should never look up to anyone. You always end up being let down or creeped out. Well, except for me. Everyone looks up to me and gets exactly what they are hoping for.”
“A gaping asshole and a variety of sexually transmitted diseases?”
Kevin smiled softly down at me. “You honor me, pretty.”
We watched as the Great White headed deep into the Dark Woods. Eventually he disappeared from sight.
THE FAIRIES found us first, glowing brightly in the fading light.
They swirled around the ruins of the forest, exclaiming over the fallen trees and trampled animals that still twitched, even though some of their insides were on their outsides.
Kevin sat me down as Dimitri approached, wings flapping furiously. “What have you done?” he demanded.