“Optimistic aren’t you,’’ I half tease as he opens the passenger door to his car.
“Yep, I’ve already got the pink paint in the shed ready for when we get back,’’ he winks, shutting the door once I’m seated.
When he’s in the car, I wait for him to pull his seatbelt on before speaking. “I was talking about me moving in there.’’
“I know. I just didn’t want to make you mad by going on about it. It needs to be your decision, not mine. I’d never force you into something you didn’t want, just like you wouldn’t do it to me. I really want this with you Denny, I don’t want to fuck it up by being controlling.’’
Damn him and his easy charm. My belly does a little flip, and butterflies swarm my belly and it’s not from the baby moving. I really want to take this step with him, but I’m so scared of my past fears that I’m stalling the inevitable. We’ve got a baby on the way together for Christ sakes. You can’t get any more committed than that. We drive the rest of the way in silence, both of us left to our own thoughts.
We arrive at the hospital on time. We sign in and take a seat in the waiting area ready for our name to be called by the nurse. We’re only waiting a few minutes when the nurse walks out and calls my name. She’s a small framed lady with red hair and soft features.
“Denny Smith?’’
“That’s me,’’ I smile standing up and grabbing my bag. Mason stands with me, looking from the nurse before looking back over to me with nervous movements. “Come on, you can come with.’’
“Yeah. Sure. That’s really good,’’ he smiles, nearly tripping over the wooden table with all the pregnancy magazines piled on.
We walk into a room with an ultrasound machine, a bed and other equipment. The room is surrounded in dim lighting, giving it a warm feeling.
“Lay down on the bed, use this to cover your bottom half and lift your dress up over your bump. I tell all the ladies who come in here to tuck the paper towel inside the waist band of their knickers. It helps prevent the gel from getting them all sticky,’’ she smiles.
Doing as she says, I lye back and relax and watch as she types a couple of things into the computer before walking back over to us. Mason has taken the seat to my left, looking nervous as hell. His leg is jittering, the motion and tapping becoming annoying.
“You’ll have Mr. Harris performing the scan today. He should be here…’’ she doesn’t get to finish as the door opens and a burly man with a large stomach wearing large blue scrubs walks in, pulling his glasses back over his eyes. He looks up when he notices us already in the room and smiles.
“Hi, I’m Mr. Harris. I’ll be doing your scan today. We just received your notes from your midwife. Can you give me your name, date of birth, and address please?’’
He takes the seat next to me, listening as I answer his questions and a few more. Mason stays seated in his chair, listening intently to what the doctor is telling us. When he presses a few buttons on the ultrasound, I start to become restless and nervous. What if something’s wrong? What if I risked our baby’s life by not seeing a doctor sooner?
Oh no, I feel sick, which is not good when my bladder is screaming at me to go relieve myself. I even asked if there was another way to have the scan without drinking two pints of water an hour before attending the appointment. It’s worse because when you know you can’t do something it only makes you want to do it that little bit more.
“Are you ready to see your baby?’’ he smiles encouragingly. Mason gulps next to me and out of instinct I reach for his hand. He doesn’t miss a beat, holding my hand in his, squeezing gently when the doctor reaches out with a tube of gel.
“This may be cold, so be prepared,’’ he warns and I inwardly groan. Just another thing my bladder needs right now, me tensing up. I’m seriously going to empty my bladder all over the floor. In front of Mason out of all people.
The cold gel hits my stomach and to my own relief, I tense without wetting myself.
My relief is short lived when he presses the handheld machine onto my belly, right under my bump where it presses down onto my bladder.
Yep, I think I’m losing fluid. Great! This is just great!
I wiggle feeling uncomfortable, my bladder screaming to be released. The doctor or whatever he’s called in his line of work notices and gives me a reassuring smile.
“I’ll just take the measurements, and what I need as quickly as I can. Then the bathroom is right through there,’’ he smiles and Mason turns to give me a confused look.
“What? Huh?’’
“I think I drank too much water and I’m kinda struggling not to pee myself,’’ I giggle, then immediately wish I never had.
“Oh,’’ is all he replies then his mouth falls open, his eyes fixated on something behind me. His eyes start to glass over and with a panicking breath; I turn my head to see what’s wrong. What I see when I turn is the most beautiful picture I’ll ever get to see apart from when I get to see it in the flesh of course. Harris has the screen tilted towards us, while he takes measurements, pointing out the different body parts, although most are clear to see.
My eyes glass over. I don’t think I’ll be able to forget this moment. With Mason’s hand clutching mine tightly and seeing our baby for the first time is unbelievable. A lone tear runs down my face, but I’m too riveted on the screen in front of me to wipe it away.
The babies hand is in its mouth, its one leg resting up at a weird angle and for a second I worry something is wrong. Then Harris assures us it’s normal. He takes measurements and gives us the estimated weight of the baby.
“Eight pounds? Eight pounds? Oh my God, I’m going to be torn in two,’’ I panic, my eyes never flickering away from the screen. Mason chuckles beside me and I turn for the first time to get his reaction. His eyes are fastened to the screen like mine were, glassed over and filled with emotion. My heart warms seeing just how much he does care for this baby.
Another hard press to my stomach and I’m tightening my lower parts to stop myself from pissing myself everywhere. It’s uncomfortable, but totally worth it as I look back up at the screen. The baby moves, kicking out making Mason and I chuckle.
“Would you like to know the sex of the baby?’’ he asks us and Mason and I look at each other and nod our heads. We discussed this already. He wants to have a little girl, he said he grew up in a house full of boys, but it wasn’t the only reason. He wanted a little girl just like me. I think in that moment I fell for him a little bit more, even though my head is screaming at me to not be fooled or to let myself forgive him so easily.
“You are having…. oh there we are, it’s very clear. You are having a…. girl,’’ he congratulates, giving us warm smiles. “I’ll print some pictures off here and you can collect and pay for them at the reception. I just need to make up your next appointment, so I’ll leave you to get cleaned up and I will be back shortly. Do you have any questions before I leave?’’
Too lost for words, my eyes transfixed on the screen, I shake my head.
A girl!
We’re going to have a girl!
The door shutting startles me and I turn to Mason with a watery smile, his own expression mirroring mine.
“We’re having a girl,’’ he whispers huskily, the emotion raw in his voice.
“Yes, we are,’’ I croak out, my head filled with so much happiness it’s overwhelming.
“We’re having a girl,’’ he repeats, his eyes still glued to the screen where the last picture he captured of the baby is still there. He stays like that for a few more seconds before looking back down at me grinning. “We’re having a fucking girl,’’ he shouts grinning like a fool. I grin back, loving that he’s excited as I am.
“We are,’’ I tell him softly, then watch in amazement as his face softens and tears fall from his eyes. The first one hits his lap for him to realise that he’s crying and he grabs my face in his rough palms and leans forward. The movement catches me so off guard that I’m not prepared
when he leans in and kisses me. It’s soft and slow at first, and I will admit I’m a little hesitant, but when I feel his tongue at the seam of my lips I give in and start kissing him back.
I feel the kiss all the way down to my toes, his touch setting my whole body on fire and I moan in pleasure as his tongue massages sensually against mine.
God he tastes good!
His body shifts off the chair, leaning over me. His one hand is resting on my cheek still while the other roams down the side of my body. As soon as he touches my stomach I gasp. The baby kicks at his touch and in the process pushing down on my bladder.
“You okay?’’ he says pulling back, a worried look marring his face.
“I need to piss,’’ I shoot out, sitting up in bed making him move away from me. I want to protest and scream at my bladder to give me five more minutes kissing him, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.
He chuckles watching me as I rush to clean the gel off my stomach, pull my dress down, slide off the bed and run to the toilet off to the side in the room. I open the door and lock it behind me, ignoring his chuckling.
By the time I come out the doctor is back and talking to Mason who is standing waiting for me.
“So she has one more scan, then has a check-up with the midwife every so often?’’ he asks Harris, the doctor.
“Yes. Her midwife will take regular measurements to make sure the baby is growing nicely and will check the heartbeat with every appointment. Denny will also need more blood work taken at the end of next month due to low blood pressure, but it’s just a precaution.’’
“So everything is okay?’’
“Yes,’’ he chuckles then notices me. “Feel better?’’
“Much. Please tell me I won’t need to drink that much again for my next scan?’’ I ask, not remembering it being this uncomfortable at my first scan. Not that there was a lot to see on my first scan. It just looked like a black blob to me.
“We’ll expect you to drink some fluid, but not as much as today.’’
“Thank God,’’ I breathe feeling relieved.
“I’ve written your next appointment down and given the slip to dad here. If you’d like to collect the pictures at the front desk they will be ready,’’ he smiles.
We both thank him and leave the room to grab the scan photos.
We both end up walking to the car in a daze, both of us looking down at the scan pictures in awe.
“Have you decided on names?’’ Mason asks as we drive home.
“Honestly no. When I was at Nan’s and she’d ask me the same thing. I always put it off, not knowing, but then seeing you today in that scan room has made me realise why. You needed to be there to have some input on what we should call her. I still can’t believe we’re having a girl. It seems too unreal.’’
“I know what you mean. I’m still reeling over the fact that our girl is inside you, growing each day. It’s mind blowing,’’ he says. He’s quiet for a few moments until I feel his eyes flicker over to me before turning back to the road. “Thank you… thank you for letting me share today with you. After everything I’ve put you through I would not have blamed you to tell me to fuck off, but you didn’t, so thank you.’’
“Would you have listened to me if I did tell you to fuck off?’’
“I dunno. I’d want to grant your wishes, but I’d also want to see my baby. It’s a hard choice. Now I have two girls to think about, to worry about, to… to look after.’’
My damn eyes water again and I wish I could stop him from saying all these beautiful things to me, but secretly, I love hearing him talk to me like that.
Mason’s phone rings cutting through the silence. He puts it on loud speaker answering it.
“So… you gonna tell me the good news or what?’’ Max shouts excitedly through the phone.
“No,’’ Mason deadpans, his face a mixture of annoyance and amusement.
“Ahhhh, it’s not yours is it. Look bro, I should have told you before. Denny and I, we have this amazing chemistry…’’
“Fuck off Max,’’ Mason growls and I giggle. He shoots me a warning glare and I make a motion of zipping my lips, my grin spreading across my face.
“Oh come on bro. You wanna be an uncle, I get that, but I’m the daddy…’’
“I’m cutting you off asshole.’’
“Who’s the daddy?’’ Max sings through the phone. “I’m the mother fucking daddy.’’
Mason glares at the phone and I giggle again, this time ignoring his murderous glare. “Is there something you fucking wanted Max other than to piss me off?’’
“That’s no way to speak to your lovers baby daddy is it Mason. Nah, I’m fucking around, keep ya knickers on. We’re all heading over to the Manor, want to meet us there for lunch and give us the good news?’’
“We’ll be there,’’ he growls. “Oh and I’m kicking your ass,’’ Mason snaps before shutting his phone off. “Don’t even start.’’
I hold my hands up in surrender, the grin spreading across my face hurting, “Wouldn’t dream of it daddy.’’ My voice is full of amusement and I watch as Mason tries hard to keep a straight face, but before I turn my attention back out the window his lips twitch into a smile.
We turn up at the restaurant twenty minutes later with all the gang outside waiting for us. Harlow is the first one to run over to us, running into my arms and giving me a tight hug.
“So? What are we expecting, a niece or a nephew?’’ Maverick calls with a grin, making his way over to us.
“I’m the daddy, I should find out first,’’ Max teases, giving me a wink.
My heart melts and I can feel tears fill my eyes as I take in everyone. They are all here to support me. I spoke with my Nan on the way here, wanting her to be the first to know. She congratulated me and told me having a girl is one of the most precious gifts I’ll ever receive. I did reply what if it was a boy and she laughed saying she’d wish me all the luck in the world. I knew she was only joking. My Nan knew any child brought into this world was a gift. Not everyone could carry that gift so they were to be cherished in every possible way. I had to agree. Carrying a child is the best gift I could ever receive and I know I’ll spend the rest of my life cherishing her.
“We are having a…,’’ I smile, before turning to Mason, gesturing to him to tell them the good news.
“We’re having a girl,’’ he shouts in triumph, pulling me to his side and oddly enough it’s comforting being there. Everyone hollers out their own congratulations, giving us both hugs. It’s only when Mark, Mason’s granddad comes over to give me his blessings that things get emotional.
“Girl, you’ll never know how pleased I am to see my first grandbaby coming into the world and that you’ve brought in the second girl this family –on my side anyway-has ever been blessed with,’’ he says choked up, his eyes watering. I want to argue and don’t think Mason’s mom is someone you can call being blessed with. From what I know and from little of what Harlow has mentioned, their mom is a piece of work. She never once looked after the boys and ran off leaving them with a complete bastard of a father.
I wipe my eyes, feeling tears fall. Feeling Mason coming up beside me I try to compose myself, but it’s too late.
“You upsetting my girl, Granddad?’’ he teases Mark.
My girl! He called me his girl.
I’m doing a happy dance inside hearing him call me his girl. I’ve never thought I’d hear him say those things and to be honest it’s doing funny things to my stomach.
“No son. Just letting her know how pleased I am she’s a part of this family, and for giving me a granddaughter,’’ he tells him, looking at me adoringly.
“Thank you,’’ I whisper, feeling myself becoming choked up.
He steps forward bracing his arms out for a hug and I step the last bit of space between us and step into his arms, breathing in his musky, detergent scent. It reminds me of my granddad when he was alive. It’s comforting to know as I wrap my a
rms tightly around him.
“You’re good for him girl,’’ he whispers once Maverick pulls Mason away from us. “He never meant to hurt you. It killed him doing it. I watched the life draining from that boy every time he hurt you more. I’m glad you’re back and he has you,’’ he says pulling away.
Not able to hold it in and I’m totally blaming the pregnancy hormones, I burst into tears. Not just silent tears that run down my face, but gut wrenching sobs that tear from my mouth and I throw myself back in his arms.
“Thank you for wanting me here,’’ I manage to choke out.
I’m removed gently from his arms and placed into another set of warm ones. Although I could feel who it was, like my body was accustomed to him; it’s his smell that gave him away. His woodsy, outdoorsy aroma, with a hint of something rare, something Mason, something only he could pull off. I’ve never been able to put my finger on it, I just know he very rarely uses his cologne and when he does it just makes his scent more potent.
“You okay?’’ he asks me in a hushed tone making me shiver and sniffle at the same time.
“Yeah, I’m just being silly. I’m not used to this,’’ I tell him pulling away. I’m ready to point to his family so he understands, but they are nowhere to be seen. “Where did everybody go?’’
“Inside, to give us some privacy. Now, are you sure you’re okay?’’
“Honestly, I’m just being stupid. If it hasn’t escaped your notice my family isn’t really close like yours. I never had what you had. Only when I was around my Nan and Granddad or brother, but my Granddad is dead and my brother hasn’t spoken to me in weeks. Even when we did he wasn’t that happy about me being pregnant. I know he’ll help me and support my decision, he always told me as much, but it’s not the same when he’s not here. Your family have not only been supportive for you, but they have for me, even after everything I did. They should hate me for running away to live miles away and not telling you. It’s just overwhelming I guess.’’
“Angel, you are our family now. It isn’t just you anymore. You’ve just taken on another family by agreeing to have our baby. You’re not going anywhere and I promise I’m going to make up for all the shit I put you through to get you to stay where you belong,’’ he promises.
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