do.”
We made plans to text each other, but before I got off the phone, she stopped me.
“Layla?”
“Yeah?”
Her sharp inhale was audible. “Promise me that you will help Sam. That we can make this right for him.”
My free hand squeezed into a fist, until the tips of my nails dug into my palms. “I promised you I would. I’m not going to break that promise.”
* * *
Once night had fallen and a quick check assured me that Roth was still asleep, surrounded by snoring familiars, I grabbed a quilt off the foot of the master bed and stepped out onto a balcony that faced some kind of nature reserve.
A small, misty cloud of visible breath parted my lips as I tipped my head back. The night was clear, full of stars that twinkled like a thousand tiny, distant diamonds. I walked to the railing, pulling the blanket closer to me.
My mind wouldn’t shut down. So much was cycling over and over. The conversation with Stacey replayed, lingering on her fears. I ached for her, wishing there was something more that I could do, but the only avenue left to me was to free Sam’s soul, so I would do it. I already knew where to start—with Grim. I just needed to wait until next week, and that sickened me, because who knew what would happen to Sam’s soul between now and then.
We needed to deal with the Lilin, because I knew it wasn’t going to go underground for very long, but my thoughts shifted to the demon who’d run from me today and then to my feathered wings. Inevitably, that made me think about the Alphas and why they thought I was such an abomination now, when I’d been entirely tolerable for seventeen years.
I was guessing it had something to do with the wings and the way I shifted.
A star broke away from the masses, shooting across the sky and drawing my attention. When I was younger, I used to think they were angels coming down. Zayne knew better, but he’d humored me and made up stories about how they were guardian angels arriving to protect their charges.
Squeezing my eyes shut, it hurt when I drew in my next breath. I don’t know how long I stood out there, but my nose was cold and my lips felt numb by the time I headed inside. Dropping the blanket on the bed, I changed into my pajamas but stopped before I could climb into the bed.
Heart speeding up, I wheeled around and left the room. I didn’t give myself time to really think about what I was doing as I walked to the room Roth slept in. Opening the door, I slipped inside and quietly approached the bed.
Roth was lying on his side, facing the door. His lips were slightly parted and his hair was a messy tumble across his forehead. The blanket was shoved down to his lean waist, and I could see that Bambi had found her way back to him. She rested in tattoo form along his left arm. It looked like a part of her was on his back, but I couldn’t see to be completely sure. I didn’t see the kittens but I knew from experience that they could be anywhere, ready to pounce on my feet and ankles.
I didn’t want to go back to my bed, alone with all my thoughts. I wanted to be here, with him. With my heart lodged somewhere in my throat, I darted over to the bed, lifted the blanket and climbed in.
The movements didn’t wake Roth, and for that, I was relieved, because I felt weird, sneaking into his bed like an all-star creeper. Rolled on my side, facing him, I took the creeper status to a whole new level as I let my gaze roam over his face. My fingers itched to trace the line of his cheek, but I kept my hands folded up under my chin, and after a few minutes, all the whirling thoughts in my head calmed. Being near him, well, it settled me in a way I so desperately needed.
While I listened to his steady and even breaths, my eyes drifted shut. Only a few minutes later, as I started to fall asleep, I heard what sounded like a mini engine humming, coming from the other side of Roth. It took me a second to realize that it was one of those devil kittens, and despite how evil they were, a smile tugged at my lips.
I slept deeply, lulled by the nearby warmth of Roth’s body, and I wasn’t sure how many hours had passed when I felt an arm snag me around the waist and tug me to the side. The front of me hit a hard chest, and I blinked my eyes open.
Amber eyes stared into mine. “Morning.”
His voice was rough with sleep and his breath was minty, as if he’d brushed his teeth before crawling back into bed. Sleep clung to my thoughts as I dragged my gaze up. His hair was damp.
He must’ve read my confusion in my face. “I freshened up,” he explained. Lifting one hand, he caught a strand of my hair with his fingers and tucked it behind my ear. “You were dead to the world when I woke up. Thought I’d use the time to erase the funk that lingered from last night.” His gaze moved over my face as the tips of his fingers trailed a path along the line of my brow. “I have to admit, waking up and finding you in my bed was a pleasant surprise.”
My tongue came unstuck. “It was?”
“Yeah.” His finger now traced my nose. “When I woke up, I realized I’d never done that before. Not with you. Not with anyone. I always...”
The few times I’d fallen asleep in bed with him, he’d always been gone when I woke up, with the exception of the time I was healing, but he didn’t seem to count that and neither did I.
A strange smile played across his lips. Not strange in a bad way, but just one I’d never seen from him before. It oozed boyish charm. “I liked it so much that I’m now spoiled. One morning and I’m spoiled for life. I want you here every morning, with me. Well, maybe in the master bedroom. That bed is more comfortable.”
The haze of sleep was easing away, and I found myself grinning at him like an utter doofus. “I thought this bed was nice.”
“Because I was in it?”
“Wow.” My goofy grin spread. “Good to see your ego is still functioning normally.”
Dragging his finger over my brow, he chuckled deeply. The sound faded, as did his grin. “About last night? I’m... I’m sorry about that,” he said, struggling with the apology, and for some reason that made me want to giggle. Demons did not apologize easily. The word sorry wasn’t in their vocab. “I honestly thought you were leaving and I got myself shit-faced so I wouldn’t go after you. That’s not an excuse. I know, but I really am sah...sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. You were cute.”
“Cute?” His fingers had made their way to my jaw. “I prefer sexy beast.”
A giggle finally escaped me. “Sorry, I’m pretty sure that description is reserved for Thumper.”
His gaze searched mine as his fingers stopped on my chin, right under the center of my lips. “How are you doing?” When I didn’t answer, he smoothed his thumb along my lower lip. “I can put two and two together. You talked to Zayne yesterday afternoon and you’re waking up with me today. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”
“It wasn’t,” I whispered, thinking of the anguish I’d seen in Zayne’s expression. Those were a part of the thoughts that haunted me last night.
Light beamed through the crack in the thick curtains beyond the bed, caressing his cheek. “So how are you?”
At first I started to tell him that I was okay, but that would be a lie. Sort of. And I didn’t want there to be any more lies between us. “It was hard,” I admitted, placing my hand on his chest. He jerked a little, and I liked that—that my touch had that kind of effect. “Probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, because I care about him. I love him and I never wanted to hurt him. Ever.”
“I know.” His lips brushed my forehead. “Losing you would not be easy, but I think...”
“What?” I let my fingers do a bit of exploring. It was strange, I thought, as I drew a circle around his chest, that touching him like this was kind of empowering. Not in the same way holding my ground against Raver demons or standing up to my clan was, but it was still a heady sensation.
“I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” he confided with a sigh. “Stony is a good guy, but he’s probably going to need his space.”
I closed my eyes b
riefly. “Yeah, I know.”
The arm around my waist tightened. “Can we do something?”
My fingers stopped on the first tightly rolled ab. “Um.”
“Dirty girl, get your mind out of the gutter. I wasn’t talking about that stuff. Yet,” he added in a way that made my tummy tighten. “What I meant was, can we start last night over?”
I didn’t get it. “How so?”
“I was plastered, but I think you told me you wanted to be with me, and well, I want to hear you say that again.”
My heart did a backflip and I tilted my head back, so that our mouths were close. “I want to be here with you.” The arm around me tightened even more, sealing me to his chest like he had last night, and once again, I really liked it. “I want to be with you.”
Roth pressed his forehead against mine as he rolled slightly onto his back, bringing me with him. I ended up lying half on him, both hands braced on his chest and my legs tangled in his. The arm on my waist was unshakable and the hand curled around the nape of my neck sent a riot of sensations skittering down my spine.
But I wasn’t done. Staring into eyes that were as bright and beautiful as any tawny jewel, I said what I had never said before. And I said it with every ounce of my being behind it. “I love you, Roth.” My voice shook with emotion. “I’m in love with you.”
Roth shifted again. This time I was on my back and he was above me, his one leg thrust between mine and his hand still cradling my neck. “Say it one more time,” he pleaded in a voice barely above a whisper.
“I love you. I love you.” And I said it again and again, until I couldn’t say it anymore, because he’d silenced me with his mouth.
The kiss was nothing like last night. His lips were gentle on mine, a sweet sweep that was at such odds with his enormous strength, and I felt it in every part of me. He kissed me softly, and then lifted up just enough so that I could see him. Tugging my hand off his shoulder, he clasped his fingers around mine and drew our joined hands to his chest and pressed them together. I could feel his heart beating strongly.
“I covet you like any good demon would.” His other hand tightened at the back of my neck. “And my desire for you increases every waking second in a way that should frighten me, but really just excites me. But most of all, I love you,” he said, and my entire body jolted at the words. He didn’t seem to notice. “I, Astaroth, Crown Prince of Hell, am in love with you, Layla Shaw. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. A hundred decades from now, I will still be in love with you, and it will be as fierce today as it will be a decade later.”
Hearing his words was like bear-hugging the sun. Warmth poured into me and he drove those words home with a kiss that went beyond the soft, questing one we’d just shared. It was deep and thorough, and I felt like he was claiming me and I was claiming him in return. That finally, after all this time, we’d destroyed that line between us and there was no going back.
“I love you” was said over and over, in between kisses and then in between the moans those kisses eventually wrought from us. Even when we moved beyond the words, it was screamed in every kiss and touch.
Dropping our hands, Roth gripped my hip as he pressed his body to mine. The thin pajama bottoms offered no real barrier between us, not when we were so greedy for each other. I wanted him, so badly that I ached in a way that had to be physical, totally was physical, but it went further, deeper, tattooing my skin, carving out my muscle and etching into my bones. And he had to feel the same, because I could feel how much he wanted this with every roll of his hips and when he slipped his hand under my shirt, dragging the material up and up, I could barely breathe. My heart jackhammered as he rose up on one arm and stared down at me.
I was bare from the waist up, and while this wasn’t the first time he’d seen so much of me, a nest of cannibalistic butterflies started flapping their wings in my belly. My experience in these situations was limited, but the stark hunger in his fiery gaze was evident and I knew in the very core of my being that he was thrilled with what he saw.
And he proved it with his words.
“Beautiful,” he said, voice thick as he lightly trailed his fingers across my belly. I jerked, and then bit down on my lip. “You are so beautiful, Layla. And if I could pick one thing I could stare at for the rest of eternity, it would be you.”
My heart swelled so fast and so big I thought I’d float right up to the ceiling and into the stars. Maybe even to the Heavens themselves.
Roth’s fingers drifted up, his caress reverent. “It would always be you.”
Then he was kissing me again, and these kisses, these moments were precious, powerful and beautiful in their own way.
Roth’s lips skated over my cheek toward my ear, and he whispered words that sent a heady flush across my skin and caused my muscles to curl in a strange, delightful way. When he lifted his head, his gaze was questioning, wanting and a thousand other things.
I nodded.
One side of his lips tipped up, and then he said, “Thank you.”
Not a single part of me understood why he was thanking me, but then all thoughts flew out the window, because he kissed the corner of my lips, and then started a line of tiny kisses that trailed from my chin down my throat and then farther still.
My fingers dug into the comforter when he stopped, and then lingered, drawing a stuttered gasp from me. I really didn’t get why he was thanking me while he was doing this, because it should truly be the other way around.
His lips skimmed over my ribs. “I think we need to get you a tattoo.”
It took me a few minutes for his words to make sense. “A...a tattoo?”
“Yeah.” He kissed just above my belly button. “A familiar.”
“I can do that?”
Roth lifted his chin and grinned in a way that caused my heart to flop around. “I don’t see why not, and I know who can do one for you.” His gaze traveled down the length of me, sending a shiver dancing over my skin. “This would be a good spot.” He dragged his hand over the side of my ribs. “Or here?” That same hand made its way under the band of my pajama bottoms and curled around my hip. His gaze heated. “I really like the idea of it being here.”
“Does it really matter where it’s inked on?” I asked. “It’s going to move anyway, right?”
“Oh, it matters.” He kissed the spot below my navel. “Mostly just matters to me.”
I laughed. “Okay, then.”
Grinning, he rose once more, climbing over me. His arms were huge and powerful and his hands came down on either side of my head. My breath caught as his lips took control of mine. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. His tongue swept over mine, and the taste of him drove me crazy.
Roth went on the move again, sliding down once more. My fingers played in his hair, and I could no longer keep track of where he was heading, because he obliterated any comprehensive thinking skills.
I don’t even know how my bottoms came off or where they ended up. It was like magic. Roth was magic. He also had this delightful mischievous tilt to his lip as his hands traveled up the outside of my thighs. There was nothing between my skin and his hands, and I could feel every touch and even the softest caress was like being hit by volts of electricity.
“Shortie?”
I loosened my grip on his hair, letting my hands fall back to the comforter. “Yeah?”
“What about getting a tat here?” He kissed the side of my thigh, right above my knee, on the inside. “It’s a very interesting place. I like it.”
I bit down on my lower lip. “I’m sure you do.”
His eyes flared a bright ocher. “You know what else I’ve been thinking?”
With him, it was anyone’s guess.
“I think I’m going to have to make it official. You know, me being the president of the demon horde Layla fan club.”
A laugh burst out of me. “What are you going to do? Make yourself a shirt that says you’re the official president?”
“And b
uttons. I’m totally going to make myself some buttons.”
I started to laugh, but his fingers found the thin material—the only thing left on me—and things were most definitely going further than they had before. I was nervous, but I also trusted him. I remembered what he’d whispered in my ear earlier. I knew this would only go so far. Before my nerves could get the better of me, his lips were where his hands were, and I was no longer thinking about anything. There was only feeling—just him and the crazy, beautiful rush of sensations he coaxed out of me. He was a master at it, absolutely brilliant, because I didn’t feel like me. I didn’t shake and tremble like this and those soft noises were so not coming from me. I was like a piece of cloth being pulled too tight, until suddenly all the tension broke, and I was caught in the whirlwind, thrown so very high, I could kiss the stars.
Roth slowly rose, wiggling an arm under me and pulling me against his chest. When I opened my eyes, he looked like he’d had his mind blown, but that was strange, because he was the one doing all the mind-blowing. I was the one on the receiving end.
“That...” My tongue didn’t want to work. “That was amazing.”
His smile was part arrogance, like he already knew exactly how awesome that was, but there was something boyish about the curve of his lips. He stretched out beside me, keeping me close. He lowered his head, kissing me softly, and I was boneless and weak in his arms.
His mouth was hot against my damp brow. “I want an eternity of mornings like this.” He dropped a kiss next to my ear. “An eternity.”
Every Last Breath Page 9