Every Last Breath

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Every Last Breath Page 19

by Jennifer L. Armentrout


  snapped his fingers, and I felt more than saw that the familiars were gone. “Don’t worry. They’re fine. Well, they will be provided they stay away from the pits and any demon who may be a bit angry with the Prince, but I’m sure those two will cause more trouble than any trouble that can find them. Rest assured they will be returned to you once you leave.”

  My eyes widened as my heart rate kicked up. I saw no aura around the man, but if I had, I imagined it would be dark and vast. Power radiated out from him, the supreme kind. He hadn’t made one move toward me, but I knew within a second, he could end me.

  He could end us all.

  “I knew you would come,” he continued, his lips curving up slightly behind the beard. “I even hastened my arrival from the pearly gates in anticipation of this moment. But have you nothing to say, child? After all, you wanted to see me. And here I am.”

  This was Grim—the Grim Reaper.

  sixteen

  HOLY CANOLA OIL in my face, I was doing my best not to spaz out, but this was the Grim Reaper, and he had been expecting me. Of course he had been, because he was who he was, and he probably saw everything.

  Which was awkward to think about.

  A tremor of unease coursed through me as a million questions sprang forth, ones I knew better than to ask him. But I wanted to. I wanted to know if he really was the angel of death. If he could take me to Sam now? If he knew Lilith? If he saw where Elijah had gone, after the Lilin had killed him? And what about all those other poor people? The questions kept bursting free, and it took everything in me to remain silent.

  Grim smiled behind the trimmed beard. “The Prince is going to be very upset with you when you return.”

  “Yeah.” There was no denying that. I just hoped I would return.

  His smile spread but did not reach his eyes or soften his face. Frankly, it made him more creepy. “Especially considering I’ve blocked any entrance into Hell. He cannot come for you. I did not want to be interrupted—we need our time together, and yes, I have that kind of power and then some.”

  My heart turned over heavily as my mouth dried. Our time together gave me the heebie-jeebies. I couldn’t go back, though. “I had to come. I had to—”

  “I know why you’re here, but I don’t want to talk about that.” He started to walk past me, toward the fortress. “Not yet.”

  I turned to follow him. “But—”

  “If you were wise, you would not question me. Please tell me you are wise.”

  Chagrined, I held back what I really wanted to say. “I like to think I am.”

  “Then you will walk with me,” he replied with mock courtesy, tossing the words over his shoulder. “And you will talk with me about what I want to talk about.”

  I had no idea what Grim could want to talk about with me that didn’t have to do with Sam, but I hurried to catch up with him.

  “That’s a smart girl,” he murmured as he walked down the center of the empty road, his hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers. The buildings surrounding us were quiet. “Pity, though, that you’re not very observant.”

  Pressing my lips together to keep myself from saying something I was sure to regret, I focused on the stones in the road. They too had a reddish tone to them.

  “For example, what do you think you know about your mother?” Grim asked, startling me. “Yes, Lilith. That’s what I want to talk about. Did you know, child, that Lilith is not a demon? Well, not exactly?”

  For a moment, I couldn’t speak. “She is a demon. Everyone says—”

  “Everyone can say whatever they’d like to say, but that does not mean they are correct, and the truth is sometimes lost in translation when the facts are not understood,” he replied, the corners of his lips tipping up. “And the truth is, the facts are, that Lilith is not merely a demon.”

  We passed a hut-type building, smushed between the taller, fiercer skyscrapers. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw movement in the hovel’s window, but when I looked, I saw nothing. “I... I don’t understand.”

  “I have a feeling you understand very little.” He delivered the insult quite smoothly. “You know Lilith’s background, correct? She was kicked out of Eden because she was, well, demanding. From there, she coupled with demons, and out of that she created a whole new breed of them—but none of that happened immediately. Oh no. You see, Lilith’s plight had gained her the sympathy of a very powerful being. She became...friends with the unlikely ally, and when Eden fell apart and all its former inhabitants were stripped of their immortality due to sin, so was Lilith. And her new friend, well, that being did not feel it was right that Lilith would be...punished yet again.”

  “I think I can guess who that being was,” I said, hoping he didn’t knock me into the next century for taking a stab at it. “The Boss?”

  “Correct. At the time, they were two peas in a rather disturbed pod. The Boss hadn’t created any demons before meeting Lilith and had no idea how it was done, but the Boss refused to allow Lilith to die a mortal death. Who knows if the Boss had a real fondness for Lilith or simply did this as a way of...of giving the big guy in the sky the middle finger once more. The why of it all doesn’t really matter in the end.

  “The Boss discovered that the blood of an original angel that had fallen, if ingested, granted immortality among other things. That blood was given to Lilith and her immortality was restored.” He paused while I processed that new knowledge. “I’m sure the Boss regrets that gift now, but hindsight is useless.”

  He smiled broadly as we approached a narrow bridge built with the same stone we walked upon. The scent of sulfur and metal grew stronger.

  “So Lilith...she really isn’t a demon then. She was, well, whatever the first people were, then made mortal, and then given the blood of a fallen angel.” My frown grew. “Yeah, that... What in the world is she then?”

  One shoulder rose as he glanced down at me. “What in the world are you?”

  A cold chill snaked down my spine despite the stifling, acidic air. “I guess I don’t really know.”

  “It’s interesting how nature always takes care of its own, developing a checks and balance system, its own Law of Balance. Despite having her immortality restored to her, Lilith had one weakness, basically an off switch. If she were to deliver a child naturally, if anything happened to that child, it would end her. By giving life to you, she ultimately set into motion the only true weapon that could kill her. Nature. That’s the true bitch.”

  My eyes widened. Then that meant...when I died, so would Lilith? I was her off switch. Wow.

  “To be honest, I never understood why she decided to take the risk of creating you. No offense.”

  “None taken,” I muttered. “Maybe she didn’t know about the...off switch?”

  “Oh, I’m sure she knew. Her arrogance rivals that of the Boss,” he replied, and I stiffened, half expecting the Boss to appear in front of us to make us pay for his insult. “She thought that her child would be just like her—traitorous, obsessed with power and control. And it was a devious plan. Fornicating with a Warden, leaving the child to be raised among the enemy in order to ultimately usurp the Wardens and possibly even the Boss. Lilith wanted the world since she felt it all had been taken from her when she was exiled from Eden. It did not matter that she had been granted immortality anew and could have found some sense of peace. She wanted revenge against all of mankind—always did and always will. Birthing you was a devious plan, but ultimately a failed endeavor—for you are not like her. Not in that way.”

  “No,” I whispered, stepping onto the bridge. I didn’t know how I felt to have it confirmed that to Lilith—my mother—I was nothing more than a tool, a weapon in a never-ending war. Anger and disappointment roiled together, and I forced out a rough laugh. What I had meant to Lilith couldn’t matter now. It hadn’t mattered before. “I’m not like her.”

  “But you are also not like the Wardens, or so you think.” He chuckled softly, stopping to gaze
over the stone wall of the bridge, down to the river below. And what a river it was.

  A deep red, the river bubbled and foamed with sludge, and I had a feeling that was where the nasty scent was coming from. I didn’t want to know what the river actually consisted of, but it looked chunky, so I doubted it was water.

  “I’m going to tell you a little story, one that you should pay very close attention to.”

  I wasn’t sure I could handle another story, but I forced myself to focus.

  Removing his hands from his pockets, he lightly placed them on the wall. “When the angels were sent to enlighten man, they failed in the most glorious way. They succumbed to evil and temptation, became gluttonous with food and drink. They fornicated.” Pausing to grin, he glanced at me. “And there were many failures, Layla. So many that the big guy in the sky knew he had a major problem on his hands. These angels were powerful, created after his own virtues, and they were corrupt. They could undo everything he created, so they were to be dealt with, punished by the Alphas.”

  Lost in a part of history that had never been willingly shared or spoken of, I was silent as I listened. I was also trying not to breathe too deeply, because the stench was close to knocking me out.

  “Some of those that fell, the original angels sent to man, escaped punishment by descending into Hell. The Boss welcomed them with open arms. They are your fallen, the originals that other demons fear. There are those that refer to them as demons, but they are not and have never been created by the Boss or spawned by another demon. It would be wise to remember where they came from,” he explained, tilting his chin up. His shoulders tensed under the plain white shirt he wore. “Then there were those who fell who took their punishment, those pious creatures who realized that they were at fault and whose love for their creator was greater than their desire for freedom. And they were punished. Do you know how, Layla?”

  My name drifted off his lips like an arctic blast and I shivered. “No.”

  He twisted toward me, leaning against the wall with a confidence in the craftsmanship I did not share. “They were turned to stone.”

  I gasped as understanding floored me.

  “You see my meaning.” His eyes glittered coldly. “Those who fell and accepted their punishment were turned to stone—and were given horrifying, bestial appearances not just to remind mankind that evil existed, but to serve as a tangible lesson to those who should be above temptation that they too can fall from grace.”

  “Whoa.” My head spun. The Wardens originally were angels that had fallen? Suddenly what Roth tauntingly called them—heavenly rejects—made sense. He’d known, but had always said it hadn’t been his story to tell.

  “For many centuries, those penitent fallen remained entombed—until the Alphas woke them to combat the rapidly expanding demon population and the Lilin who were created so many centuries ago,” Grim went on, turning his gaze back to the river. “They didn’t wake all of them, Layla. Some still slumber. Even your clan wouldn’t know that, but those whose sins were most offensive are those still trapped in their punishment.”

  “God,” I breathed, thinking of all the gargoyles adorning the buildings just in DC alone. This whole time I’d believed man had simply carved them.

  “Those who were awakened became the first Wardens, but their punishment had changed them. That is why they have two forms, and it is also why, in their true form, they resemble the very creatures they are charged with dispatching. Ironic, isn’t it?” He smiled again. “I am sure your clan hasn’t forgotten their true history, but they would love to, wouldn’t they? The only beings more arrogant than the Alphas would be the Wardens.”

  There was another thing I couldn’t deny. “This is all fascinating, but—”

  “Why am I telling you this, the history of your mother and the race that raised you as their own? You want something from me, but I want you to understand what you are.” He pushed away from the wall, facing me from a mere foot away. “You stand before me, cowering like a helpless girl.”

  The hairs were standing along the back of my neck again. “That’s because you are...you are the Grim—”

  “I know what I am. At least I can say that. You can’t.”

  “Yeah, I get that, but—”

  His hand snapped out, wrapping around my throat. I’d taken my last breath before I knew it. Panic flooded me as I reached up, gripping the massive hand. I willed my body to shift, but Grim smiled as he lifted me clear off my feet.

  “You can’t shift. Not here. Cayman did not tell you that? Foolish demon, he tends to leave out important information. You’re not from this realm, child, therefore you cannot take your true form here,” he said, lifting me even higher. “I could snap your neck in a second and do you know what would happen?”

  I would die.

  Wasn’t like I could say that since I was busy trying to conserve whatever oxygen was left in my lungs, which wasn’t much. My chest was burning, my heart pounding fiercely.

  “It would hurt. It would knock you out, but no, you would not die,” he continued, as if he could read my thoughts. “Frankly, the only thing that will kill you is an iron dagger to the heart or if someone cuts off your head.” His words were breaking through the burning haze, but they made little sense. “Fire? Nope. Falling from a hundred stories? It cannot kill you. Gutted? No. Once you understand that, you will be stronger and fiercer than any Warden to walk topside, and even Upper Level demons will flee your presence.”

  Suddenly he released his hold on me. I hit the bridge, staggering into the stone wall. It crumbled like ash under my weight, falling into the teeming water below. I teetered on the edge, arms flailing.

  He caught me by the arm, hauling me away from the edge and against his chest. The full body contact was like cuddling up to a snowman—a psychotic snowman. My skin chilled, and as I exhaled roughly, then dragged in air in huge gulps, a misty cloud formed in front of my lips.

  “Now do you see what I’ve been trying to show you, the purpose of all my stories? You are not a demon. You have never been a demon, you silly girl.”

  seventeen

  YOU’RE NOT A demon.

  I stopped struggling for air as I stared into his cold eyes. What he’d told me about Lilith and the Wardens had rocked me, but now I was struck stupid by pure disbelief. “That doesn’t make sense,” I gasped out.

  “Why? Because your clan believes you to be one? Because the Prince has never said differently? That’s what he’s been told by the Boss, because if the Upper Level demons knew what the Boss had done for Lilith all those years ago, they would not be happy. No demon likes the idea that the Boss has played favorites and still does. The Prince had no reason to believe differently. To all of them, you feel like a demon, only because you feel like an original fallen angel.” His grip was tight, bordering on cruel. “If you paid attention to my story, you can follow where I’m going with this.”

  Parts of my body were frozen from contact with him, so I really wasn’t following jack right now.

  Grim lowered his head, and I stiffened as his mouth stopped a mere inch from mine. “You were part Warden and part whatever the Hell Lilith is when you were born, which makes you something entirely different. The Warden blood in you weakened whatever Lilith passed on. You were as mortal as any of them, not nearly as powerful, with your only gift a deadly kiss, but those damn witches...” He laughed, and his icy breath coasted over my lips, causing me to shudder. “Those who worship your mother. They gave you something to drink, did they not, following your stabbing and the Prince’s heroic rescue? Whisking you out of my grasp quite efficiently. Didn’t they?”

  “Yes,” I gritted out. “We didn’t know what it was. Roth didn’t know—”

  “But can you guess what it is now? Prove you’ve been paying attention to my little history lesson?”

  Blood thundered in my head, and I knew where he was going with this, but I couldn’t believe it—the idea that I’d been given blood from one of the original
fallen angels. First off, that was freaking gross. Secondly, I... “Why would they do that? How did they have it?”

  “That’s for them to answer.” His lashes lowered, shielding his eyes. “But what they did—it zeroed out whatever Warden blood you had in you. Now...you are something else entirely.”

  I thought about how Zayne and Danika had said that I felt like an Upper Level demon, but that was before the witches had given me that...that brew. But it all started to connect together. Roth was partly right. I was still transforming, and since I wasn’t what anyone expected me to be, what the Wardens were sensing could’ve been whatever I was maturing into. Plus a demon had run from me since I’d drunk that stuff, and I did look different.

  “Oh my God,” I whispered, forgetting who was holding me. “That’s why I have feathers in my wings.”

  His mouth twitched. “Among other things.”

  “I’m... I’m immortal?”

  He let go of me and stepped back, but I was so floored that I barely registered the warmth slowly creeping back into me. “As immortal as anything that can only be killed those two ways I mentioned before. The moment you consumed the blood of the originals, you became what the Alphas would call an abomination. But what they fail to appreciate is that you alone can ultimately stop what is coming.”

  Stunned by everything he’d said, I raised a shaky hand, pushing the hair that had come loose back from my face. I’d come here to retrieve Sam’s soul and ended up discovering that everything I thought I’d known about my life, my identity, had been wrong—again. Part of me didn’t know what to think about that. The other part was bubbling with sweet awareness. Incredibly selfish, sure. But there

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