by M. E. Carter
I smile. “She sounds amazing. I’m not sure I would be as strong under those circumstances.”
“You don’t, do you?” he asks as he sits back, stretching out his legs. “I would argue that you are as strong as she is. Maybe that’s what attracts me to you so much.”
I look at the aquarium as a giant stingray swims by. Hearing him say how strong he thinks I am makes my stomach flutter even more than him saying he’s attracted to me. Maybe because it isn’t about attraction to my body, but to my self. Not a lot of guys these days are interested in that part of a woman. At least, not the ones I’ve run into recently.
“I really appreciate you saying that.” I clear my throat and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I don’t feel very strong these days.”
“How come?”
Daniel has his arms crossed and is balancing his chair on the back two legs. He’s totally engrossed in what I’m saying. There is something wildly sexy about having his undivided attention.
“I find myself second-guessing all my decisions lately. Am I using the right formula? Is the day care safe enough? Would Sarah approve of the way I’m raising her son?” I try to smile, but I can’t as the guilt hits me again. “We left things on really bad terms,” I say quietly.
Daniel drops his chair to the floor and leans forward. “What do you mean?”
“The last time we spoke, we got in a fight. She died before we could make amends.”
“That sucks.”
I brace my elbows on the table and rest my chin against my hand. “Sometimes the guilt is just… it’s so intense sometimes.”
“You know she forgives you, right?”
“I know. The harder part, I think, is to forgive myself.”
Our waiter shows before Daniel can respond, and we both straighten. I glance up as our waiter puts our plates in front of us and see Daniel’s eyes are on me, not his food. A thrill runs through me. I haven’t had a man look at me like that in a very long time.
“Enjoy your meal,” the waiter says, leaving us to enjoy the food and conversation.
After spending a couple more hours at the aquarium, we make our way through rush hour traffic to get me home. The conversation never stops, and I could spend more time with Daniel, but we’ve both got responsibilities and work tomorrow.
We drive into my parking lot, and I’m both dreading him walking me to my door and looking forward to it. Dreading it because it means the end of a really fun date. Looking forward to it because I’m hoping he’ll act on this attraction we both seem to be feeling.
“Hang on,” he says as he turns the car off. “I’ll let you out.”
He’s opening my door before I’m able to get my purse off the floorboard.
After I step out, he takes my hand and leads me to my front door.
“Do you want to come in?” It’s kind of strange I’m asking him this question, because it’s still light outside. Normally, my dates end when it’s dark, so it has more of a suggestive meaning. Today it’s an invitation to come in for dinner or a beer. Not that I would reject him if he came onto me.
I think.
We’ve only been on one date, so while I’m totally agreeable to a goodbye kiss at the door, I’m not sure what I think about going all in so soon. While I was attracted to him as a person from the beginning, I don’t think the sexual attraction kicked up a notch until today.
Plus I have a baby to consider. I can think of about a thousand things sexier than hanging out with a woman who will inevitably end up wearing baby puke.
Then again, Daniel ended up in baby puke earlier, and it ended up really sexy.
He turns to me, still holding my hand. “I would love to come in, but I’m not going to.” I’m not sure what to make of the rejection but try not to show my confusion. I remind myself if he was uninterested, he wouldn’t still be holding my hand. “I have had so much fun today, but I have practice in the morning. If I come in now, I have no idea what time I’ll drag myself back out the door, and I need to stick with my routine.”
I understand exactly where he’s coming from. “I admire your dedication to your craft.”
“If I want to stay at the top of my game for as long as possible, I need to be pretty disciplined. Will you take a raincheck?”
“Absolutely.”
He cups my cheeks and bends forward, pressing his lips to mine. It starts as a sweet peck, just soft lips against rough, but the butterflies in my stomach start swarming. And then he takes it deeper.
I open my mouth to his prodding and get a quick swipe of his tongue. Once. Twice. Holy shit I could do this all night and I want to, but way too quickly, he pecks my lips again and pulls away.
He kisses just the way I like it.
“I’ll call you later, okay?” he asks as he backs toward the stairs. I nod and bite my bottom lip, trying to contain my grin.
After he’s out of sight, I find my house key and let myself in. “Oh!” I jump, startled, when I see Katie and Chance standing inside the door.
“Tell me everything,” Katie demands while Chance grins at me and waves his arms. “Is his kiss as sexy as his chest?”
I giggle and take the baby out of her arms, giving him a hug. “Yes, yes it is.”
I push open the door and step into the house, amidst all the chaos and noise, and think It’s good to be home.
I can’t always get away for Sunday dinners during the season, but today is an exception, and I’ve been looking forward to it all week. All my brothers and sisters show up with their kids. Mama usually makes enchiladas of some kind and all the fixings to go with it. I don’t know how she does it, but not only do we get our fill, she always makes enough to send us away with leftovers. That might be my favorite part.
“Tio Daniel!” a little voice squeals, and I see a mass of dark curls barreling toward me. I catch her as she launches herself into my arms.
“Mila,” I say with a smile, hugging her tightly. “How’s mi corazon?”
“I’m four now, Tio,” she says, holding up four fingers so I don’t misunderstand how old she is.
My eyes get wide. “That’s a whole lot of fingers on that hand! You’re practically a grownup!” If it’s possible, her smile gets even brighter. I give her a kiss on the head as I put her down. “Where’s the rest of the family, mija?”
“They’re in the kitchen,” she yells as she bounds into a different room. This is the way my mom likes her home: full of kids, grandkids, and noise.
I wind my way through the house to the kitchen in the back, dodging running kids and stopping for hugs. I’m greeted by a chorus of cheers.
“Hey! You made it!”
“Looks who finally showed up.”
“It’s about damn time!”
I shove my brother, Geovany, off a stool before hugging my sister, Erika, and my big brother, Eduardo. Mama takes her time washing her hands and drying them with a towel, knowing I’m making my way toward her through the gaggle of people.
“Mama,” I say, kissing her cheek and picking her up for a hug. At five feet even, her feet come off the floor.
“Put me down, mijo,” she chides lovingly. “I’m so glad you’re home.” She pats my cheeks. “Are you hungry? Elizabeth made her famous guacamole and homemade chips.”
“I’m okay right now, Mama.”
“Look at you. You’re practically skin and bones,” she says, giving me the once over. “You need to eat more. How are you supposed to run up and down the field, being so skinny? You won’t have any energy.”
“Ma,” Eduardo chimes in. “He’s been playing soccer for years. He knows how much to eat.”
“Leave her alone, Lalo,” Elizabeth says to her husband. “You know how she loves fattening us up.” Geovany hands me a beer.
“Don’t worry about me, Mama.” I twist the top off and throw the bottle cap in the sink. “I’m saving myself for the enchiladas. You can fatten me up then.” At the reminder, she turns back to her cooking. “Where’s Marlene?”
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“She and Julio had to sing at the church today,” she says as a couple of my nephews race through the kitchen, wielding plastic swords. “I’m so proud of those two. You know they’re the worship leaders at their church now? You could learn a thing or two from them.” Geovany and I look at each other. We’re used to this. Any time one of our older siblings gets involved in a church activity, mama acts like we’re complete heathens because we like to date around. In Geovany’s case, it might not be far from the truth. “Don’t think I don’t see those pictures of you in the newspaper with all those women, mijo. And don’t think I’m too old to smack you with my chancla.”
I look at Geovany, who just laughs.
“Speaking of,” Erika says from the stove, where she’s stirring the enchilada sauce. “You’ve been in the paper a lot lately.”
“Really?” I’m playing dumb. I know I’ve been caught with Quincy a couple times, but they don’t need to know I know it. It’s the curse of a sibling relationship in a family this size. To stave off humiliation, you have to pretend you’re not embarrassed. The minute they sense you’re uncomfortable, it becomes their mission to make it worse.
“It’s been the same girl in the pictures three times now,” Erika continues.
“Awwww!” Geovany says laughingly with a fist to his mouth. “Did someone finally get whipped? The famous Daniel ‘I’ll be single forever’ Zavaro finally stuck around for a few additional helpings? Ow!” he says as Mama smacks him on the back of the head.
“Is that the girl’s baby?” Erika asks seriously, and the room goes strangely quiet.
“Dios mio. Fine,” I say, caving only because they aren’t going to let up. “Her name is Quincy, okay? We’ve gone out once. That’s it. Stop acting like I’m about to walk down the aisle.”
“Gone out once, and she’s already been in three pictures,” Eduardo says. “The girl works fast.”
Lalo, as we call Eduardo, has always been protective of me and worried about the people who would use me. Normally I appreciate it. This time it pisses me off. “That’s not what she’s about, Lalo,” I say, pointing a finger at him. “She didn’t even know about soccer until the second time I ran into her and that was only because someone came up and asked for an autograph.” He still eyes me skeptically. “Seriously. She’s never even been to a game.”
“Really?” Elizabeth asks as she refills the bowls of tortilla chips Aaron has been munching from.
“Really. She’s a cool girl.”
“But she has a baby.” Erika brings up the one thing I was hoping no one would touch on again. I’ve always said I’d never date a woman with a kid because of the complications and because I saw how hard dating was for my sister Blanca after her divorce. I’m sure I’m in for a lecture when Mama can get me alone.
“It’s her nephew.” I really don’t want to get into Quincy’s personal business, especially since we’ve only been on one date. But now that the cat’s out of the bag with my family, I don’t have much of a choice. “Her sister was killed in a car accident a couple months ago, so now she’s raising him.”
I hear several people gasp. “That poor girl,” Mama says. “Does she get a lot of help from her parents?”
“Her dad is dead, too. Not sure where her mom is.”
“Dios mio,” Mama says, clutching her heart. “You need to bring her here so we can feed her.”
I smirk. “Maybe next time, Mama. Where’s Blanca?” I ask, trying desperately to change the subject.
Aaron breaks away from the chips and guac to answer. “She’s in the other room. We’re having a little trouble with Nicholas.”
“How so?”
He pops another chip in his mouth before answering. “Since he’s been the man of the house for so long, he’s having a hard time letting me step in since we got married. Homecoming is coming up, and he seems to think he’s older than he is and should be able to stay out as late as he wants ’cause he’s a senior.”
Voices rise in the other room. Speaking of Blanca and Nicholas….
Aaron sighs. “I guess I should go in there and help mediate again.”
“I’ll go,” I say, taking a swig of my beer. “I need to say hi anyway. Maybe it’ll distract them from their fight.”
I push through the swinging door in time to hear the last of their argument.
“You are not as big as you think you are, Nicky,” Blanca yells.
Nicholas makes the mistake of getting right up next to her and pointing in her face. “I’m bigger than you.” Before I can step in, Blanca has taken his finger and bent it so far back, Nicholas is on his knees, squealing like a little girl. It takes everything in me not to laugh at how easily my sister can still prove she’s in charge.
“You will not ever point at me like that again, young man. Do you understand me?” she says.
I decide it’s time to break it up before she really lets loose.
I kiss Blanca on the cheek. “Hey, sis.” Her eyes sparkle for a split second before she turns her attention back to her seventeen-year-old son. I grasp him by the back of the neck. “Come on, Nicky. Let’s go talk somewhere.” He stands up, cradling his finger to his chest, and I lead him out the back door.
“Damn, that hurts.” He shakes out his hand. “I didn’t know she could do that.”
We make ourselves comfortable on patio chairs. “You’re lucky it was only your finger. I watched your abuela lead Lalo around the house by his chest hair one time when he mouthed off to her. The Zavaro women are known for playing dirty.”
“You’re telling me.”
“What was that all about in there, anyway?” He pauses before answering. I can tell he’s trying to decide what he wants to say and how much he wants to say it.
“How old were you when you first had sex?” he asks.
I cough on a sip of beer. It takes me a few seconds to pull myself back together. “Damn. I wasn’t expecting that question,” I admit, still clearing my throat. “How does that relate to you fighting with your mom?”
He sighs and looks off into the distance, obviously upset about his mom’s involvement in whatever his sex life is. “I want to go to Galveston after the Homecoming Dance and stay at a beach house with my friends, but she won’t let me. She says I’m too young to be put in a position like that.”
“Okay.”
“But I’m not too young,” he argues. “I’ve been helping her raise Julian and Vanessa since my asshole dad left. You were in high school when you lost your virginity. She acts like I’m gonna sleep with every girl at the party.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I say with my hands up. “How do you know when I lost my virginity?”
He looks at me like I’m stupid. “Please. I’ve grown up hearing you and all my other tios talking about your escapades in high school.”
He has a point. “Okay, but I think the question is, are you planning to have sex after the dance?” He looks at me with a shit-eating grin on his face. “I take it that’s a yes.” He nods. “I didn’t know you even had a girlfriend.”
“I don’t.”
“So who are you planning on having sex with?”
“Her name is Tamela.”
I wait for more information, but that’s all he gives me. “Okay. How long have you known her?”
“She’s been in a couple of my classes, I guess.”
I wait again. I get the impression he wants to tell me more but isn’t quite sure how I’m going to react. “Are you friends?”
He looks away. “Not really.”
“Are you at least taking her to the dance?” He nods. I’m still confused, so I keep asking him questions, hoping to understand the situation better.
“Let me make sure I have this right. You’re not friends, you may have a few classes together, but you asked her to the dance.” He nods, and I sigh. It’s like pulling fucking teeth with this kid.
“Okay. Then why did you ask her to the dance?”
He has the decency to blush. “Becaus
e she puts out.”
I sit back, trying to figure out how to proceed in this conversation. Before I can think of anything to say, Nicholas beats me to it.
“I’m tired of being a virgin. I wanna know what all the fuss is about, ya know?”
“I do know.” I take a deep breath. “But let me ask you a question, man to man.”
“Okay.”
“Does this girl… Tamela? That’s her name?” He nods. “Does Tamela know the only reason you asked her to the dance is so you can have sex with her?”
“I don’t know. I mean, everyone knows she’ll pretty much sleep with anyone, so it can’t be too much of a surprise.”
“But does she know that’s what you’re expecting from her? Because I have to say, Nicky, if she thinks you asked her out because you actually like her, and she finds out at the dance that it’s only because you want to get with her, that’s a really dick move.”
His head snaps up. “Oh, come on, Tio. You’re really gonna go there? I’m not stupid. I’ve seen pictures of all the women you’re banging. You’re with someone new every week. You can’t get mad at me for wanting to do it once.”
I point a finger at him as I choose my words carefully. “Don’t you raise your voice at me, mijo. We may be the same height, but I am way stronger than you, and I’ll happily take your ass down.”
He looks at his hands, clasped in his lap, visibly flustered at the way this conversation is going.
“First of all, just because there’s a picture of me with someone in the newspaper doesn’t mean I’ve ever been with them. It could be a friend, a coworker—hell, someone who happens to be walking next to me on the street. So don’t get caught up in that shit. And second, any woman I’m with, anyone I have sex with, it is made very clear from the beginning where we stand. You haven’t taken the time to consider this girl might actually like you. What about that? Are you gonna be the guy that disrespects a girl who has feelings for you?”