His eyes briefly meet mine before he focuses back on the road. “I guess the only things I really fear are losing you or someone else close to me. There are lots of things I think a person can overcome, but certain people in our lives aren’t replaceable.”
“That’s why you are the way you are.”
“What do you mean by that?” he asks, glancing in my direction again.
“You’re usually happy,” I reply.
“I am happy. I’m happier than I think I’ve ever been,” he says, slowing down at a stop sign. “Are you happy?” I can tell by the tone of his voice that I’m starting to put him on edge.
“Fear keeps people from doing things they want to do, and when they aren’t doing what they want to do, they’re not as happy as they could be.” Of course I’m talking about myself.
“Anything you want to do … I’ll do it with you,” he says, pulling up next to the curb. He puts the car in park, and turns it off, before quickly undoing his seatbelt. My heart races as he slides to the middle and uses the tip of his finger to sweep a few loose pieces of hair from my forehead. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, his face so close I can feel his warm breath against my cheek.
“I guess I just got lost somewhere in my thoughts,” I whisper, leaning forward to softly kiss his lips.
“You need to clear that mind of yours every once and a while,” he says against my lips. “Maybe we should go face one of those fears right now?”
Taking a deep cleansing breath, I say, “Yeah, let’s do this.” Smiling, I turn to open my door and climb out. Beau is right behind me, scooting the rest of the way out the passenger side door. He smiles back at me as he stands and kisses my forehead. The smile is still there as he entwines our fingers and leads me to the front door of the frat house. I focus on the perfect fit of his hand in mine and let all my fears go. With him, I can do this.
When we reach the front of the house, there are several people standing outside the door, talking and laughing. No one even turns to look in our direction.
As Beau opens the door, my stomach ties in knots again. I don’t know what hit me first, the smell of beer or the noise, but I wrap my arm around Beau’s to stay close. The living room is so packed with people that it’s almost impossible to walk through. Older miss-matching furniture lines the room, but every spot is taken, some by a group of guys joking and having a good time and others by couples who can’t keep their hands off one another. All I want to do is find a spot that’s a little less crowded so I can relax.
“Should we find Rachel and Cory?” I ask, trying to not sound too awkward.
“Let’s go get a drink first.”
I pull on his arm, forcing him to stop. “I don’t drink.”
“Then I won’t either,” he says, moving us forward again.
I try to stop him to let him know I’m okay if he wants to drink, but the room is too loud for him to hear me. We weave our way into the kitchen, and he opens a large blue cooler, pulling out two bottles of water. As he hands one to me, a soft moan comes from behind us. I look back to see Rachel sitting on top of the counter with Cory standing between her legs, his head buried in her neck. It doesn’t feel right to watch, but I can’t peel my eyes away. When she finally opens her eyes, she smiles when she notices I’m staring.
“You guys made it,” she says, startling Cory. He spins around, keeping his hand on Rachel’s thigh.
“Sorry to interrupt,” I say shyly.
A huge grin appears on Cory’s face, a sign that he’s up to nothing but trouble. “There’s plenty of space on the counter if you want to pull up a seat. Beau’s been a little edgy. Maybe you should take care of that.”
“Cory,” Rachel warns, pulling on the back of his t-shirt.
“You’re such an asshole. Besides, I have more respect for my girl than to take her in the kitchen of a frat house,” Beau adds, sounding peeved. I know he hates the way Cory treats Rachel sometimes, but Rachel doesn’t seem to think much of it so I let it go. She certainly seems to be enjoying herself tonight.
“Oh, come on, Beau, don’t tell me you didn’t mess around at a couple of these parties last year. Don’t even try to pull the saint routine right now.” Cory’s jaw works back and forth as he waits for Beau to react.
I don’t know if I count for anything in this, but I hate that Cory brought up the past. I don’t want to think about what Beau was doing last year, just as much as he doesn’t want to think about what I was doing.
Beau’s reply is simple. “Kate isn’t one of those girls.”
“Right,” Cory says, obviously irritated. “Well, if you’re not going to join us, maybe you should leave so I can get back to my girl.”
Beau and Cory stare at each other for a few seconds before he puts his hand on my back and whispers in my ear. “What do you want to do?”
I notice two steps leading down to the back door and start walking. We just got inside, but my cheeks feel hot and the cold winter air will quickly solve that problem.
“Where are we going?” Beau asks, tugging on my hand.
“Outside.”
“It too fucking cold outside, baby,” he whines, brushing our joined hands against my back.
“I can keep you warm,” I say, leading us out the back door. I don’t miss the smirk on his face. I knew that would be enough to convince him.
As soon as we step outside, he walks us so my back is against the brick exterior, and his body shadows the front of mine. “To shield you from the wind,” he says as he starts to kiss along my jaw.
I wrap my arms around his neck, needing to feel his warmth and desperate to continue what we started earlier. His lips continue to warm my skin as his body presses into mine. I close my eyes and bite my lip, anxious to feel his lips on mine. I finally get what I’ve been waiting for as I step up on my toes and his mouth links with mine, warming my body from the inside out.
“Do you want me to stop,” he whispers against my lips.
I shake my head. “Don’t stop.”
“This is a nice way to keep warm,” he says right before his lips come crashing down on mine again. Things heat up quickly this time as his hands inch to the back of my thighs to pull me up. My legs wrap around his waist as his tongue slips between my lips. Whenever we get to this point where things are getting intense, all I want to do is rip his clothes off. Maybe it’s because we held back for so long. Maybe it’s because Beau is so intense. Whatever it is, it’s all I feel right now.
At some point, I hear footsteps in the snow, but I don’t care. I’m too wrapped up in Beau and the fire he’s causing inside my body.
“Are you taking my sloppy seconds, Bennett?” My whole body stiffens. I recognize that voice.
I’d recognize it anywhere.
Ten Seconds Later – December 2012
THE SECOND I HEAR HIS VOICE I feel Kate’s body tense against mine. Anger radiates through my veins. I’ve wanted to beat Drew’s ass into the ground since Kate told me what he did to her, but the only thing that held me back is that I didn’t want to dredge up old memories for her.
And what the fuck is he doing here? At this party?
“Drew, you can turn around and get the fuck out of here!” I yell, keeping my body locked with Kate’s. She’s clenching the front of my coat tightly in her hands, as her body shakes against mine.
“What’s the matter, Bennett? Are you pissed that I got to Kate before you did?”
I lean in close to Kate’s ear. “I’m going to put you down. Go inside and tell Cory I need him. And then stay inside with Rachel.”
I carefully lower her to the ground and step back just enough so she has room to leave. She doesn’t need to hear anything else that comes out of Drew’s mouth and definitely doesn’t need to witness what I’m about to do to him.
“Beau, please come inside with me. He’s not worth it.” Her worry is visible in her eyes. I hate seeing her like this, but I can’t let it go; I’ve left it alone for long enough already.
>
“Please, everything is going to be okay,” I say quietly. She nods slowly and hesitantly walks away from me, keeping her hand on my coat until she can no longer reach me. My hands ball into fists while I wait for her to close herself safely in the house. I want to ruin this guy for everything he took from her, for every time he made her sad, and for every moment I missed with her because of him.
I hear Drew talking in the background, but I tune him out until Kate disappears from my sight. “Does she do everything you tell her?” he asks.
I can’t fucking take it anymore. I close the ten or so feet between us and push him back with more anger than strength. “Don’t you ever fucking say her name or talk to her again! Just stay the fuck away from her!” I yell as he stumbles back.
He regains his balance and comes at me with his arms outreached. “You’re going to pay for that one, Bennett.”
“I don’t think so. You think you can just take something from someone when they don’t want to give it to you? You messed with the wrong fucking person, and I’m about to show you what real pain feels like.” My fist comes up and hits the side of his face without giving it much thought. I don’t realize how hard I hit him until he falls to the ground and brings his hand up to the side of his bloodied face.
“Is that what she told you? She wanted it just as much as I did, or she wouldn’t have come to my bedroom!” Drew yells as he tries to sit up.
My temper flares deep inside of me again as I push him back to the ground. “You know exactly what you did, you stupid fuck.”
I don’t feel any guilt, and with nothing to hold me back, I straddle his waist, pummeling him with blow after blow. He deserves every single punch that lands on his body and so much more.
“Beau, stop!” I hit him again on the left side of the face.
“Beau!” Another hit, this time to the right side.
I hear my name, but I can’t stop. This is not the kind of person I am, but I’m making an exception for the douchebag lying under me.
“Beau!” I hear again. This time it’s closer, followed by two strong hands on my arms pulling me back. “You need to stop, man, or you’re going to kill him.”
I stop my fist mid-punch and look down to see Drew motionless below me. My chest heaves up and down as I try to regain my sanity. It’s not easy because there’s probably enough anger inside of me to pummel him for hours.
“Come on. Let’s get up,” Cory demands as he stands behind me.
Following his directions, I lift myself up, trying to shake the pain from my hand. I can’t see very well through the darkness but it feels swollen and torn up. Even with the ache in my hand, I’d give anything to finish the job. The fucker doesn’t deserve to breathe.
“Why don’t you go inside and get some ice. I’m going to see if this guy needs some help.”
“He doesn’t deserve it,” I say, walking backward toward the house.
The second I turn around, I see Kate standing under the light out back, tears glistening on her cheeks. She glances between where Drew lies on the ground and me. As I start walking toward her, she shakes her head. It’s one of the few times I haven’t been able to read her, and I swear if she’s mad at me, I’m going to lose it. If this asshole messes with what we’ve just started to build again, I really will finish what I started.
“Kate,” I say as I approach her.
She wipes her eyes and takes a couple steps to meet me. Just when I’m sure she’s about to yell at me, she wraps her arms around my neck. “Are you okay?” she asks quietly.
“I’m fine,” I whisper against her warm cheek as I hold her close. There’s a part of me that wishes we’d never come to this party, but there’s another part of me that feels like all is going to be right in the world again because Drew got what he deserved.
Stepping back, I cup her face in my hands, making her eyes focus on mine. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she says, reaching up to run her fingers through my hair. “What happened, Beau?”
“I was giving Drew what he deserved,” I reply.
“You shouldn’t have done that. If he’s hurt, you’re going to get into a lot of trouble.”
I glance over at where Drew lies wincing on the ground and then look back at Kate. “He’ll live. Plus, if he did report this, he’d have to explain why I wanted to kick his ass, and I’m guessing that he probably doesn’t want to do that.”
Resting her cheek against my chest, she wraps her arms tightly around my waist again.
“Come on, let’s go home,” I say, wrapping my arm around her shoulders to bring her close to me. This is not the type of night I had in mind. I was trying to help her overcome another fear … I wanted so much to be that for her, too.
“Beau.”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you,” she says, resting her head against my shoulder. Hearing those words makes the excruciating pain in my hand worth it. I did this for her. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this girl.
I help Kate into the passenger side of the car before jumping behind the wheel. When I look over at her, she has her head against the window with her eyes focused on the darkness. As I pull away from the curb, I can only hope this isn’t a setback for her. Neither of us can afford to go back to the way we used to be.
Reaching across the seat, I grab her hand in mine to get her attention. The way the light shines through the window allows me to see a few stray tears trailing down her cheek.
I pull the car over and quickly unbuckle my seatbelt, sliding across the seat. I unfasten her seatbelt and pull her into my lap, holding her as tightly as I possibly can without hurting her. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here, and I’ll never let you go,” I say softly as I run my fingers through her hair.
“Am I ever going to be able to get away from it? No matter how hard I try, even if Drew’s not there, he lives in my memories. I hate it, Beau. I just want to forget,” she cries into the front of my jacket. I wish there was a way to go in and erase every memory of that night from her mind, but that’s not possible—not in reality anyway.
“He won’t come near you again. I promise.”
We stay wrapped up like that for minutes as I hold her until her body stops shaking. I remember a promise I made her years ago. It means just as much to me now as it did back then.
I ring Kate’s doorbell in hopes her mom will let her come out and play. I like to play with the boys in the neighborhood, but Kate is my favorite. We always have lots to talk about, and she likes to play the same things I do, even if she is a girl.
As soon as the door opens, I see Kate’s toothless smile in front of me. Lucky for her, most of the kids in second grade look the same way. “Hey, Beau, what are you doing here?”
I shrug. “I have an hour before dinner, and I wanted to see if you wanted to play.”
“Just a minute. I’m going to ask my mom,” she says before leaving me standing on the front porch.
I wait patiently with my back to the door. Our neighborhood is quiet except for a few barking dogs down the street and an occasional car that goes by. My mom always says I should thank my lucky stars that we live in a small town or she wouldn’t let me go outside and play. I’m glad we live in Carrington.
As soon as I hear the door click open, I spin around. “My mom said I could play for a little bit. She’s going to call me when dinner is ready.” She smiles and steps outside in her favorite pink chucks. Those things always make me smile, especially when she’s standing right next to my black ones.
“What do you want to do?” I ask, starting down the sidewalk.
“Do you want to ride bikes?”
“Sure, let me get mine from the garage. Be right back,” I say running back to my house.
I’m not gone for long, but as I come around the front of the house again, I see her surrounded by some of the other boys from the neighborhood. One has her handlebars in his hands while another has his legs wrapped around the back tire.
“Don’t
touch my bike!” I hear her yell.
“Oh, come on twerp, you don’t really think we’re going to listen to you, do you?” It’s Jacob, the biggest bully at our school. He’s not really smarter than anyone else; he’s just so much bigger, and he knows exactly how to use the size advantage.
“Leave her alone!” I yell, walking in their direction.
“And what do you think you’re going to do if we don’t?” Jacob asks, turning the handlebar grip in his hand.
I take another step. “I don’t think you want to find out.” I used to play with these guys almost every day, but when I started playing with Kate, I realized they weren’t as exciting to play with. She’s a lot more fun.
“Fine, we’ll let her go this time, but next time she might not be so lucky.” They let go of her bike, allowing it to fall to the ground. I watch them disappear down the sidewalk while I pick up Kate’s bike.
“Are you okay?” I ask, checking the bike over.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay.”
“I’ll always protect you,” I reassure her as I start walking the bike toward her garage.
“You promise?”
“Promise.”
I’ve taken care of that girl over and over again, but when she needed me the most, I wasn’t there. I never want to let her out of my sight again.
“Will you stay with me tonight?” I ask when her tears subside.
She sits up and looks at me. I wish I could see the green in her eyes. “I don’t know. I probably wouldn’t be very good company tonight.”
“Come on. I need you to help me take care of my hand,” I say, flexing my swollen hand between us. I wince; it hurts more than I thought it did. I’d be surprised if I didn’t break anything.
I watch her bite her lower lip. “Yeah, I’ll probably sleep better if I’m with you anyway.”
“It’s going to be okay,” I say, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before tilting her lips up to mine. “I love you, Kate.”
“I love you, too.”
I lean in to kiss her, letting my lips linger on hers for a little longer than I usually do. As I pull back, I run my thumb over her bottom lip. “Let’s get you to bed then.”
After the Rain Page 4