“Don’t worry about me. I can handle anything.” He’s not lying when he says that. There’s nothing I can really throw at him that will be worse than he’s already dealt with.
“Are you on your way over?” I ask, staring up at the dorm room ceiling. Surprisingly, this is the first time I’ve paid much attention to it, but I’m glad; it’s just a bunch of square tiles with a few coated in water stains.
“Yeah, I’m just going to say goodbye to Cory, and then I’ll be there. Do you need me to bring anything?”
“If you have an extra box, I could use it.”
“I’ll see what I can do. See you in a little bit,” he says.
“Okay. I’ll be lying in bed thinking about you,” I tease running a few strands of hair between my fingers.
He groans into the phone, which makes me grin. “You’re in trouble, Kate.”
He doesn’t wait for my response before hanging up the phone. I’m very excited to see what kind of trouble he means.
I lie on top of the navy blue comforter and glance around the brightly lit room. Little pieces of Emery still linger; she let me keep a few pictures she brought from home. They’re black and whites of New York City. She wants to live there after she gets out of school, and I hope that’s something she can still make her reality. I get up from the bed and start taking them down one by one.
A knock at the door halts my thoughts. As I open it, I find Rachel’s smiling face looking back at me. “Hey, I thought you left already,” I say, returning her smile.
“It’s nice to see you, too,” she teases, walking past me.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“Have you heard from Emery? I tried to call her a few days ago, but she hasn’t returned it yet.”
I sigh, remembering the last conversation I had with Emery. Her life’s been flipped upside down, a complete one-eighty from where she thought she was going at the beginning of the school year. “I talked to her a couple days ago. I guess he came to see her last week out of the blue, and it didn’t go well at all. She didn’t have much time to talk because she had to get to work so I didn’t get the whole story. Maybe we should go visit her this summer to cheer her up.”
“I’m in. Just let me know when.” She stops, looking over at Emery’s empty bed. “If I ever see that asshole again, I’m going to kill him.”
“That’s harsh,” I say, thinking back to that day in January when Emery’s heart was ripped from her chest, stomped on, and thrown against the wall. Maybe he deserves it …
“It’s nothing compared to what he did to her.” She’s right, but there’s nothing we can do to him that will fix Emery’s problems.
I watch as she glances around the bare room with a hint of sadness in her eyes. “It might sound silly, but I’m really going to miss you this summer. I mean, like, really miss you.”
I’m going to miss her, too. Rachel’s the complete opposite of what I expected when I first met her. I’d unfairly lumped her in with every other girl our age who’d done me wrong, but Rachel’s always there when I need her.
“Hey, you can come visit, or I can come visit you. And you know I’m going to call you at least three times a day.”
“I’d like that.” Her smile returns, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Are you okay?” It always seems like everything is perfect with her, but underneath it all, I see her unraveling.
She studies me for a second before speaking. “I don’t know. Cory’s been distant, and I know going back home is just going to compound our problems. There’s no where to hide in a small town, but I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that.”
A few months ago, I told her everything. It was my way engraving our friendship in stone … I let her in to my life completely. “Have you talked to him about it?”
She shrugs. “It’s hard to talk to Cory about this kind of stuff. He doesn’t take anything too seriously, you know?”
“I know, but if it’s bothering you this much, you should try.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right, but I think a part of me is scared about what he’ll say.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Maybe his feelings toward me have changed. Maybe he’s just as scared as I am to not be together. He’s all I know.”
“Do you think you’re holding on to something that isn’t there anymore?” It escapes my lips before I even have time to think about it.
Rachel’s the best person to go to when I need relationship advice. I just wish she would put her advice to work for herself. I think she’s clutching what used to be with Cory, and she deserves so much more than that. I’m hoping the summer will give her a chance to re-evaluate, and she can start over fresh in the fall. I like Cory, but I don’t think he’s the one for Rachel. She deserves someone who treats her better; I think she loves him, but she’s afraid that if she lets him go, she’ll never find that with someone else.
“Are you guys driving home together?” I ask.
“I’m going to follow him. He should be ready to leave soon, I hope.”
Pulling her into a hug, I whisper, “Let me know if you need anything, okay? I’m here for you.”
“Thank you. Who knows … maybe it’s all in my head and spending some extra time together this summer will fix it.”
I squeeze her tightly without replying. Her problems aren’t going to go away on their own, but she needs to figure that out for herself.
The door opens suddenly, and Beau walks in. He doesn’t bother knocking anymore; I gave him a key months ago, after Emery left.
Rachel pulls back. “I should get going. Cory’s probably waiting for me.”
“Call me when you get home, okay?”
“I will. Drive safe.” She walks toward the door, turning around before she opens it. “Take care of her, Beau.”
He winks. “You don’t have to worry about Kate when she’s with me.”
Rachel’s lips curl up, genuinely this time. “Yeah, I know.” She waves. “I’ll talk to you guys later.”
“Bye,” we say simultaneously. It already feels like I’ve lost a part of myself when she disappears from view, but it’s only temporary. Rachel’s only a phone call away, and I’ll see her again soon.
Some of the weight on my chest eases as I glance over and see Beau’s playful expression. It tells me he’s happy that we’re alone and promises of some fun that is yet to come.
“Hey.” I smile, waiting for him to make the first move.
His eyes do all the talking as he steps toward me and puts his hands behind my thighs to lift me up. I have no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist. “Are you ready for your punishment?” he whispers in my ear. His breath against my skin causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up.
“Yes. I’ve been waiting for almost thirty minutes,” I say breathlessly.
He backs me against the wall and dips his head to my neck, running his tongue against my skin. One of his hands is braced against the wall while the other caresses my thigh. “I think you’re the only person I know who would move in a dress. I love that you’re making things so easy for me.”
I look down at my emerald green sundress and smile. “Maybe I planned it that way.”
His tongue finds my skin again until his mouth is right under my ear. “Let’s see if your little plan worked then.”
I nod, ready for whatever. His hard length is pressed against me, making it almost impossible to hold onto my self-control. Beau and I did soft and sweet for a while until we got to the point where I was more comfortable with our sexual relationship. One night, I could sense his alpha male boiling to the surface, but he kept holding back. When I asked him to let go, he was hesitant, but it ended up being some of the best sex we’ve ever had.
It’s all about achieving a balance. Sometimes we need to feel the sweet, loving emotions that come to the surface when our bodies connect, but other times, we just need to feel the raw, uncensored passion t
hat exists between us.
He moves my panties to the side and slowly enters me with two fingers. “God, Kate, you’re already wet.”
“I was wet talking to you on the phone,” I say before kissing him hard on the lips.
It doesn’t take much before I feel my orgasm building, but before my body completely lets go, he pulls his fingers from my body and frees himself from his shorts. He slowly pushes into me, and after only a few thrusts, my body squeezes him over and over. One of the hardest things I’ve had to do this year is have sex in my dorm room without screaming.
He makes it almost impossible as he moves in and out of me while his mouth explores every exposed part of my upper body. My body starts to build again as he speeds up his motions. He’s close, and I’m going to try to hold on so I can come right along with him. I’ve learned not to close my eyes; we always do this together.
“You feel so fucking good,” he growls in my ear. “So good, Kate.”
I feel myself coming hard and fast, causing me to bury my head in his neck. Beau comes with me, groaning as his head rests against the wall behind me. Our hearts beat between us saying things that words couldn’t right now. When he finally stands back, looking down at me, his eyes say just as much.
“Do you know how much I love you?” he whispers.
I nod, placing my palm on his cheek.
He wraps his fingers around my wrist, halting any further movement. “No, do you know how much I really love you?” he asks. The look on his face is one I’ll never forget. At that moment I know … he doesn’t have to say anything more. “I love you more than I love life, because if it weren’t for you, there wouldn’t be as much in it for me.”
Reaching my hand behind his neck, I bring his lips down to mine. “I love you more.”
“Never,” he whispers, kissing me again until my lips are swollen and numb.
I guess it’s a good sign when the only thing we have to fight about is who loves the other more.
I’m dying to get home to see my mom. I thought I’d go home at least once a month, but I only made it back for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break. Between my classes, Beau, and all of the new friends I’d made, it was hard to find a whole weekend to sneak home.
It feels like we’ve been driving all day when Beau finally pulls down our road with me close behind. I’m ecstatic when I pull into the driveway and see my mom peeking through the window. For the first time in a long time, this really feels like home. It’s a place I want to be, a place that feels relaxing and makes me happy rather than sad.
I hurriedly put my car in park and leave everything behind to meet my mom and Daniel at the front door. “I missed you so much,” my mom says, wrapping me tightly in her arms.
“I missed you, too.”
“How have you been?” Daniel asks as he stands beside my mom.
Looking over my shoulder at Beau, I smile before facing her again. “Great. How about you guys?”
Daniel wraps his arm around my mom’s shoulders. “Things couldn’t be better.”
My mom smiles up at him and then looks back at me. “It will be nice to have you back this summer. Ms. Carter has been asking about you.”
I laugh. “I missed her, too. You’ll have to let her know I’ll be in on Monday.”
“She’ll be happy to hear it. By the way, I talked to Beau’s parents. We’re all having a barbeque in the backyard tonight to welcome you guys home.”
“Thank you, Mom,” I say, pulling her in for a hug. “I’m going to go over and talk to Beau for a minute.”
“Okay, let me know when you’re ready, and I’ll come out and help you.” As they disappear back into the house, I walk down the steps and through the grass to Beau’s driveway. He’s standing with his back resting against the side of his truck and his hands tucked in the front pockets of his khaki shorts.
Shielding my eyes from the sun, I take in the huge grin that forms on his face as I get closer. “Are you spying on me, Bennett?” I tease.
“I think I would classify it as staring,” he answers stepping, away from the truck.
“And what are you staring at exactly?”
His hands grip my hips, and he pulls me to his body. “The most beautiful girl in the world.”
My face burns red; it’s amazing this guy can still do that to me. “What are you going to do when I’m old, wrinkled, and gain thirty pounds?”
He smiles down at me, leaning his head a little closer to mine. “I’m going to love you.”
“How do you always know the right things to say?” I ask, watching him move even a little closer. As my eyes focus in on his lips, warmth builds in my stomach. I wonder if he’ll always have this effect on me.
When he stops, his lips are only a few inches from mine. It would be so easy to get up on my tiptoes and kiss him, but I like the tension. I like waiting for him to come to me … the anticipation of it.
“It’s not about what’s right. It’s about what I feel,” he says, brushing his lips against mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, afraid that if I don’t, he’ll back away. He started this, and I want to finish it. His hands slide to my lower back then up to my shoulder blades and back down again while I bring his lower lip between mine. I kiss and tease until he groans and splays his hands on the middle of my back to make sure there’s nothing left between us.
“We better stop,” I say, trying to catch my breath.
Beau places a quick kiss on my neck, never loosening his grip on me. “You started it.”
“I remember it a little differently, but it really doesn’t matter. I’m going to be the one to finish it.”
He lets me go after kissing my forehead. “I better get things unpacked. I’ll see you later?”
“Yeah, I guess we’re all having a barbeque,” I reply, walking backward in the direction of my house.
“I’ll see you later then. Wear something sexy!” he yells as I walk away.
I’m hoping this summer will be like the school year … full of memories I’ll never forget.
Two Months Later – July 2013
IT’S NO SECRET THAT KATE AND I both love the lake. Since we’ve been home, we’ve spent almost every afternoon swimming, fishing, or just sitting on the edge of the dock enjoying the serenity of the Iowa countryside. I’ve been busy planning something a little different for this weekend, though.
Walking into the diner, I’m hoping to grab some breakfast before the big weekend. The diner is packed, but that’s no surprise. All the kids are out of school now, and the farmers have their fields planted. I walk up to the counter to get something to go when Ms. Carter calls my name.
“Beau! How are you, young man? Why don’t you come join me? I don’t need this whole table to myself.” She smiles as I walk toward her.
“I don’t want to interrupt,” I say glancing down at her fresh cinnamon roll. I’d do anything to have some of that warm cinnamon bread in my mouth right now.
“I insist,” she says, pointing to the empty booth across from her.
Who am I to argue with Ms. Carter? “How are the cinnamon rolls today?” I ask, taking a seat across from her
“Same as always. Warm, soft, and delicious. How is your summer going?”
Searching the packed room for Kate, I see her taking an order a few tables away. “It’s going good so far. How’s yours?”
“Same old,” she replies, sipping her coffee. She stares at me for a long time before speaking again. “I’m glad you were able to put a smile back on Kate’s face. I always thought there was something between the two of you.”
My eyes must have doubled in size as I looked at her. Her stone-faced expression makes me feel the same as I did when I walked through my first haunted house at the age of ten: terrified.
It was not my best night.
Suddenly, she starts to laugh. “You kids reminded me a lot of Mr. Carter and me.”
“Is there anything you don’t notice?
She laughs out loud. “Not
really. When you’re my age, you don’t have much to do besides watch people. I mean, you’d think I’d seen it all, but every day if I keep my eyes open, I see something new.”
Right as I’m about to ask her more about her observations, Kate appears beside the table in her cute little apron, small notebook in hand. “Can I get you something to eat?” she asks. I can tell she’s trying to hold back a smile.
“I’ll take two cinnamon rolls, an order of sausage links, an orange juice, and milk,” I reply, letting my eyes roam the length of her body. Even in that ridiculous fifties uniform, I think she’s the best-looking girl in the whole world.
“Okay, I’ll have that right out.” She winks at me over the top of her notebook. “How are you, Ms. Carter? Can I get you anything else?”
“No, thank you. I have everything I need right here,” she says, glancing in my direction. Smiling, I shake my head.
Kate mouths, “Be careful with that one.” She points at Ms. Carter before she walks away. I swear when I get her alone later, I’m going to take all my frustrations out on those pretty little lips of hers. She knew I was coming here for breakfast; I wouldn’t be surprised if she paid Ms. Carter to give me a hard time.
A couple minutes later, Kate sets my juice and milk in front of me. It couldn’t be better timing because the questions I’ve been asked since Kate walked away are making me sweat. I’ve been asked about Christmas. When I told her I got Kate a signed Joshua Radin CD and tickets to a concert in Chicago this winter, she just looked at me and nodded before moving on to Valentine’s Day. I had just finished telling her about the special dinner I made when Kate put the drinks on the table. It couldn’t have been better timing because there was no way I was going to tell her what came after dinner.
As Kate walks away again, Ms. Carter picks up right where she left off as I take a drink of my juice. “Are you going to ask her to marry you soon?”
I think it’s scattered all over the table now. “Umm … I don’t know, maybe eventually,” I reply, wiping the juice from my chin. “I mean, we’re still in college, and there’s no reason to rush things. I know she’s the girl.”
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