‘He would if he were a fellow performer.’
‘It has been my experience that actors make poor husbands.’
‘Personal experience?’
‘No. Experience gained from watching those around me.’
‘So you’re not hiding an abandoned husband in some remote country village,’ Valbourg said with a small smile.
Catherine did not return it. ‘I assure you, I am not.’
Thankfully, the carriage began to slow. Catherine turned her gaze towards the window, aware that they had arrived in a part of town she knew well, but that was still a few streets from where she lived...which was exactly what she had intended when she had given the false address. It would have been bad enough for Stubbs to see her arriving home in a nobleman’s carriage. It would have been disastrous had he seen the owner of the carriage sitting in the carriage with her.
‘I take it you’re not going to tell me why you refuse to take a lover?’ Valbourg said, the question dragging her back into the moment.
Catherine sighed. Why couldn’t he just leave it alone? She didn’t want to lie to him, but she could not...would not...tell him the truth. ‘Lord Valbourg, it would be impossible for you to understand what my life has been to this point. Or for me to predict how it will be in the future. I can tell you that events in my past dictate how my future will be lived and it doesn’t matter whether I like it or not. The past is the past. It cannot be changed.’
‘So you’re telling me you did something you regret and your life is now ruled by that event.’
‘Something like that. Now I really must go,’ Catherine said. ‘It has been a long day and I am exhausted.’
He didn’t say a word. He simply looked at her in silence. But when she went to reach for the door handle, he leaned forward and held out his hand.
Confused, Catherine sat back. What was he doing? His expression, while serious, was in no way threatening, leading her to believe he wasn’t about to try to ravish her. So what did he want?
Her gaze rested on his a moment longer and then, with a sigh, she cautiously placed her hand into his.
Valbourg’s fingers closed around hers, warm and reassuring. ‘Thank you for agreeing to perform for my family and guests this evening, Miss Jones. While I regret the unfortunate incident that took place, I do not regret the time we were able to spend together. You are a beautiful and talented woman and I know you will do well in the future. But if you ever have need of my help, you have only to ask and it will be given.’
With that, he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.
Catherine stared back at him, her thoughts a confusing tangle of emotions. What was she to make of all this? Did he dislike her—or desire her? Was he inviting her in or warning her to stay away? She had no idea. But too tired to figure any of it out, she gathered up her skirts and climbed out of the carriage.
By the time she looked up, it was already pulling away, leaving her standing alone in the middle of the darkened street. A few minutes later, it began to rain.
Fortunately, or perhaps miraculously, a hackney came trotting around the corner and Catherine hailed it, relieved she wouldn’t have to travel the rest of the way on foot.
* * *
She was unlocking her front door when a dark figure separated itself from the shadows. ‘Good evening, Miss Jones.’
Catherine gasped, a combination of fear and exhaustion prompting the unguarded response. But when she realised who it was, she closed her eyes and said tersely, ‘Dash it all, Stubbs! You frightened the life out of me!’
‘My apologies, but you’re coming in later than usual and without the ever-watchful Mrs Rankin by your side.’
‘Mrs Rankin is ill. I sent her home and went alone to Lord Alderbury’s house.’
‘The Marquess of Alderbury?’ Stubbs repeated. ‘Well, well, and what would someone like you be doing at a fine house like that until this time in the morning?’
‘Performing.’
‘Oh, aye.’ He smiled and winked suggestively. ‘For a gentleman?’
‘No. For Lord Alderbury and about a hundred of his guests, at a ball to celebrate his daughter’s engagement,’ Catherine said with as much patience as she could muster. ‘I was invited to sing.’
‘Well, ain’t that nice,’ the man said. ‘Expect me to believe that, do you?’
‘I expect you to believe it because it’s the truth,’ Catherine said. Had the circumstances been different, she would have told Stubbs to mind his own business, or at the very least to go away and leave her alone. But it would have been foolhardy to do one and she knew better than to expect the other. ‘You can verify it easily enough, Stubbs. No doubt details of the reception will appear in the society columns tomorrow.’
‘No doubt they will,’ Stubbs agreed, his gold tooth briefly catching the light from the overhead lamp. ‘Enjoy moving with the toffs, do you, Miss Jones?’
‘I don’t move with them, Stubbs. I sing for them. There’s a difference.’
‘But they pay you well for your trouble.’
‘Of course. I wouldn’t do it otherwise.’
‘I wonder you do it at all, a famous actress like you,’ Stubbs said, his cracked leathery face reminding Catherine of one of the gargoyles crouched atop the marquess’s house. ‘Would have thought you already had everything you need. Except your boy, of course. And believe me, money’s no guarantee of ever getting him back.’
Despite the warmth of the evening, Catherine shivered. ‘What do you know about Thomas?’
‘I know the vicar believes he’s watching out for the boy’s soul. And that it would suffer if he were to come to live with a fallen woman like you,’ Stubbs said, leaning against the wall. ‘If Hailey were to hear you’d done something foolish with one of your toffs—’
‘He won’t hear that because I haven’t done anything foolish,’ Catherine said. ‘You know what kind of life I lead, Stubbs. Where I go and who I see. I’ve maintained the same lifestyle for the past five years. Why would I be so foolish as to do something to jeopardise it now?’
‘Who knows? Stronger women than you have given in to temptation. Women who do everything they can, but still can’t make ends meet.’
‘Well, I can and Reverend Hailey knows it. And when the Gryphon shuts down in a week’s time, I intend to go and collect Thomas.’
‘Do you now? Well, let me give you a word of advice. The vicar ain’t your only worry when it comes to the boy. His wife’s taken a real fancy to him and all. Takes him with her wherever she goes. Treats him like her own son.’
‘But he’s not her son. He’s mine!’
‘Damn it, woman, keep your voice down!’ Stubbs said, casting a nervous glance over his shoulder. ‘You’ll have the whole bloody street awake. And there’s no point blowing up at me. I’ve got nothing to do with it.’
No, he didn’t, and belatedly, Catherine realised she would gain nothing by lashing out at him. Stubbs was only a pawn. Her real fight was with the man—and now, by all accounts, the woman—for whom Stubbs worked. ‘So, are you going to report my evening’s activities to your master?’
‘Depends. How much is it worth to you that I not say anything?’
Catherine clenched her teeth and pulled out the marquess’s envelope. This was always how the game was played and it was the reason she continued to give private concerts. Stubbs threatened to send a false report back to Hailey and she paid him not to do so. In short, blackmail. It didn’t matter that she had nothing to hide. Stubbs was in the position of power and he didn’t hesitate to use it. ‘I trust this will help convince you that nothing worth reporting happened tonight.’ She handed him his usual stipend. ‘Do we have an accord?’
Stubbs made a pretence of counting the money before stuffing it into a small leather pouch he carried for the purpose. �
�A pleasure doing business with you, Miss Jones.’ He doffed his battered beaver and scurried away like a rat into the night.
Catherine unlocked the front door and went inside. It had been an unpleasant end to the evening, but in truth, she had been lucky to escape as lightly as she had. If Stubbs had seen her getting out of Valbourg’s carriage—with Valbourg still inside—it would have taken a lot more than five pounds to guarantee his silence. Worse, it could have been Moody, the other man Hailey employed to keep an eye on her, in which case she would have been forced to hand over a great deal more of her night’s earnings. Moody was a nasty piece of work; a man who had been in and out of prison and who seemed to have no conscience whatsoever.
Sell his own kid for a bob, Stubbs had once told her. And with someone like that hanging around, Catherine knew she couldn’t risk stepping out of line. Any association, no matter how innocent, between herself and a man of wealth or title would be turned into something sordid and dirty. Between Moody and Stubbs, she had more than enough reasons for avoiding any kind of involvement. With Lord Valbourg or anyone else.
Chapter Three
The following afternoon brought a bit of welcome news in the form of a letter from Miss Gwendolyn Marsh, the spinster with whom Catherine had lived for her pregnancy and the first few months of Thomas’s life and with whom she still maintained a friendship.
Gwen wrote in an elegant, flowing hand.
My dearest Catherine,
How I look forward to seeing you again. It feels as though it has been much longer than six months between visits this time. I have followed your success, of course. I understand Promises is still the rage in London, and I am smiling to myself, remembering the nervous young girl who came to stay with me all those years ago, with nary a thought of performing on stage, let alone becoming one of its brightest stars!
But I digress. I am glad to hear you will be travelling to Grafton to collect Thomas.
I am so happy for you, my dear. You have worked very hard for this, forgoing the pleasures enjoyed by most young women your age, and you deserve now to reap the rewards...
Catherine let the letter fall to her lap, her mind casting back over the events of the past five years. Yes, she had worked hard, but what choice had she had? Making a success of her life was the only hope she’d had of regaining custody of Thomas.
She remembered as though it were yesterday the day she had arrived on Gwendolyn Marsh’s doorstep, pregnant with Will Hailey’s child. Will, the only son of the Reverend James Hailey and his first wife, Ruth, had been Catherine’s first love; an attachment formed when Will had started coming to her house to take lessons with her father. A thoughtful, quietly spoken lad, Will had actually been eight months younger than Catherine, but his gentle manners and studious air had made him seem older, and it was, perhaps, inevitable that a friendship would spring up between them.
They saw a great deal of each other over the next few months, the friendship deepening into an attraction and eventually into love. Unfortunately, Will didn’t tell his parents about his feelings for Catherine. Nor did he know, on the day he was thrown from his horse and killed, that she was carrying his child. For that reason, Reverend Hailey had refused to believe Catherine when she told him of their involvement. As far as Hailey was concerned, Catherine was just the schoolmaster’s daughter. He had been horrified to learn she was carrying his dead son’s child and had refused to have anything to do with her.
Nor had her own father been much better, Catherine reflected. Having recently lost his wife and struggling to come to terms with his own grief, Peter Jones had been unable to help her, his sadness prompting him to say things Catherine would never forget. So she had written to Miss Gwendolyn Marsh, a spinster and close friend of her late mother. Miss Marsh lived in Cheltenham, and it was to her Catherine had poured out her heart, going so far as to ask Miss Marsh if she might come and live with her until her baby was born.
Thankfully, Miss Marsh had said yes, and it was there in the comfort of her home that Catherine had spent the long, unhappy months of her pregnancy, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing on the horizon. A storm the effects of which she was still feeling today.
She picked up Gwen’s letter and continued reading.
You are welcome to stay with me for as long as you like, both before and after you collect Thomas. Cheltenham is empty of company at the moment and I should so enjoy having you around again. And of course I am anxious to see Thomas, since all I remember of him is a tiny baby.
Mrs Brown has been busy baking, and Flo and Daisy are quite silly in the way they go on. They will no doubt giggle and blush upon first seeing you. You are quite the star now, my dear, and I could not be happier for you...
Catherine finished the letter and then folded it up and put it on the table next to her chair. Unbidden, the memory of her first trip back to Grafton after Thomas’s birth came to mind; an occasion that stood out as one of the worst of her life. She had taken Thomas, then only a month old, to see Reverend Hailey and his new wife, Eliza, whom he had married shortly after Catherine left Grafton.
Pretty and spoiled, Eliza possessed neither the compassion nor the gentleness of Hailey’s first wife, and Catherine had disliked her on the spot. She’d had difficulty understanding why Hailey had married such a woman, though she suspected it had much to do with the fact Eliza was so pretty and that she played the part of the helpless female so well. Reverend Hailey wasn’t a bad man, just a weak one. And weak men, whether they be men of God or tillers of the soil, were easily manipulated. Catherine had recognised that the moment she had walked into the manse. She had been greeted at the door by the new housekeeper, a brusque north-country woman who had arrived with the new Mrs Hailey, and rather than being shown into the drawing room, where family and guests were usually entertained, Catherine had been ushered into the vicar’s private study, where Reverend Hailey and Eliza stood glaring at her from behind his desk. There, she had drawn back the blanket and shown them their grandson.
Hailey’s reaction was not at all what Catherine had been expecting. Asking if he might hold the child, Catherine had willingly passed Thomas over, hopeful his birth might help break down the barriers that existed between them. But only moments after taking Thomas, Reverend Hailey had handed him to his wife, as though reluctant to hold the child any longer than was absolutely necessary.
He’d said that, under the circumstances, he felt it best that the child remain with them. Given Catherine’s position as an unwed mother, with no employment and few prospects, she was the last person who should be taking care of a baby. He had gone on to say it was in Thomas’s best interests that he be raised in a Christian household, untainted by his mother’s immoral and sinful ways.
Stunned by the unexpected turn of events, Catherine had immediately asked Reverend Hailey to hand Thomas back to her, but the man had coldly and adamantly refused. He had quoted biblical text, saying his son’s death was a punishment from God, and that Catherine would burn in hell for her sins of lust and fornication. Eliza hadn’t said a word, but her expression had warned Catherine against trying to plead her case. At that point, she had returned to Miss Marsh’s house, where, devastated by the very real possibility of never seeing her son again, she had broken down and burst into tears.
A kind though practical woman, Miss Marsh had let Catherine cry, and when at last the tears came to an end, she had sat Catherine down and talked about what must be done. She told Catherine she truly was in no position to look after Thomas because until she was able to earn a living that provided a reasonable level of income, she would not be able to adequately provide for her son. Then she had said the words that had set Catherine on the road to her new life.
‘You have two gifts, my dear. A beautiful face and a remarkable voice. You must use both to make a career for yourself.’
‘A career?’ Catherine had said, confused. ‘
Doing what?’
‘Why, performing, of course,’ Miss Marsh said. ‘Good actresses can command very high salaries.’
An actress? Miss Marsh wanted her to go on stage and perform? Catherine had been appalled. Everyone knew actresses were fallen women who allowed themselves to be kept by wealthy men who paid for their lodgings and gowns in exchange for the kinds of pleasures otherwise found in brothels. Surely Miss Marsh did not wish to see Catherine end up that way.
Thankfully, Miss Marsh—being a great deal more familiar with the ways of the world—had agreed that, yes, while many actresses were possessed of questionable morals, some had genuine talent and managed to make enviable careers for themselves.
‘It is the morality of the woman that dictates how she will be viewed by others,’ Miss Marsh said. ‘If you are skilled at your profession and keep yourself free of scandal, you will be acknowledged and celebrated for your talent. Furthermore, if you are able to capitalise on that talent and prove your financial competence to Reverend Hailey, he might reconsider and give Thomas back to you.’
It was all the encouragement Catherine needed—and while it had seemed the flimsiest of hopes, it was one to which she had clung with desperate ferocity.
Then Miss Marsh had performed her greatest act of charity. She had taken it upon herself to pay a visit to Reverend Hailey, during which she had set out the facts surrounding Catherine’s past and future plans. She had then asked Reverend Hailey if he would consider revisiting the issue of Thomas’s custody on the occasion of his fifth birthday.
Catherine hadn’t held out any hopes of Reverend Hailey agreeing to the suggestion. To her astonishment, however, Miss Marsh had returned with the news that if Catherine was able to prove herself a responsible woman of good moral character and was able to earn an income that would allow her to support herself and Thomas, Reverend Hailey would agree to review the situation when Thomas turned five.
No Place for an Angel Page 5