It was as though a veil had been lifted, allowing Catherine to see clearly for the first time. No wonder Valbourg hadn’t asked her to be his mistress. Any return to his former lifestyle would have put the guardianship of his nephew at risk. And if that was the case, he had done exactly what she had; attempted to live a life free of sin for the well-being of a child.
Her respect for him increased tenfold.
‘Speaking of families, you must be thrilled at the prospect of finally being reunited with Thomas,’ Gwen said.
‘I haven’t been able to sleep,’ Catherine admitted. ‘But as excited as I am, I am fearful, too. I have no idea how Thomas will react to my coming into his life. He has no idea I am his mother, yet I will be taking him away from the two people who have fulfilled that role since he was a baby.’
‘Surely Reverend Hailey hasn’t encouraged the boy to think of him and Eliza as his parents?’
‘I don’t know what they have led him to believe, though to be honest, I would not be surprised,’ Catherine murmured. ‘I shall never forget the way Eliza looked at Thomas the first time she saw him. There was...a hunger in her eyes. A yearning I found highly disturbing.’
‘There may be a reason for that,’ Gwen said. ‘She and Reverend Hailey have been married seven years, but she hasn’t given him any children. We know Hailey can father a child, so the problem may well lie with Eliza. And if she suspects as much, she may not be willing to let Thomas go.’
‘She has to let him go,’ Catherine said. ‘I have done everything Hailey asked of me. He cannot renege on his promise now.’
‘I’m not saying he will,’ Gwen said quickly, ‘but if Eliza is the one trying to keep Thomas, it won’t matter that you have abided by her husband’s rules. She will find some other excuse for not giving him back. And, as much as I hate to say it, they are operating from a stronger position than you, my dear. They’ve had Thomas since he was a baby. You left Grafton six years ago and have only been back to see him on a handful of occasions—’
‘Because I was only allowed to see him on a handful of occasions!’ Catherine said in frustration. ‘Twice a year, and even then, I was warned against telling Thomas who I really was.’
‘I know, and the Haileys certainly haven’t let anyone believe you have a connection to him. But you must prepare yourself for the possibility that they want to keep Thomas and that it may be very difficult for you to stop them from doing so.’
‘Then I shall consult a lawyer. Let him put forward my case.’
‘And who do you expect to take your side, Catherine? An unwed actress petitioning against a clergyman and his wife, who are in truth the child’s grandparents, for the right to keep a little boy no one but a handful of people know is not rightfully theirs?’ Gwen said. ‘How do you think that will look in the eyes of the law?’
‘I don’t care how it looks,’ Catherine retorted. ‘Thomas is my son and Hailey has no right to keep him. The only reason I gave in five years ago was because I was unmarried and unemployed. If you hadn’t taken me in, I don’t know what I would have done. I do know that no court in the land would have recommended that I look after Thomas rather than a respected minister of the church and his wife,’ Catherine said. ‘But everything is different now. I’m not that naïve seventeen-year-old girl. I am older and wiser and have more than enough money to take care of us both. That is what I intend to make clear to Reverend Hailey when I see him tomorrow.’
There was nothing more to be said, and, not wanting her concerns over Thomas to weigh the evening down, Catherine spent the rest of it enjoying Gwen’s lively and amiable company. The morning would come soon enough and with it, her fate. She was within hours of having what her heart desired most and starting the next chapter of her life.
She could not...would not...allow herself to consider the alternative.
* * *
The manse was a large brick house set well back from the road and surrounded on all sides by a high stone wall. Wild flowers bloomed in the garden and in boxes beneath the windows. A neatly tended vegetable patch was situated to the left of the house and to the right stood a shed, a chicken coop and, beyond that, a paddock where two horses and a cow chewed contentedly on the lush green grass.
Catherine took a deep breath and went to open the wrought-iron gate, only to pause with her hand resting on the latch.
‘Are you all right?’ Mrs Rankin enquired.
‘I’m fine. It’s just that I have waited so long for this moment, now that it is finally here, I am terrified of something going wrong,’ Catherine said softly. ‘What if Hailey changes his mind?’
‘He is not going to change his mind,’ Mrs Rankin said with far more confidence than Catherine was feeling. ‘It won’t be long before the three of us are heading back to London and you will be asking yourself what all the worrying was for.’
Wishing she shared the woman’s conviction, Catherine nodded and pushed open the gate. She walked up the path and, after a moment’s hesitation, knocked on the door.
It was opened by the same hard-faced housekeeper who appeared every time Catherine called. ‘Oh, it’s you again, is it?’
‘Good afternoon, Mrs Comstock,’ Catherine said, determined to be pleasant. ‘Reverend Hailey is expecting me.’
Mrs Comstock didn’t move, and Catherine, fearing they were to be turned away without even seeing the vicar, made ready to do battle when, at last, the woman grunted and stepped back. ‘This way,’ she said before turning and leading the way down the long corridor and into Reverend Hailey’s office. ‘Wait here. I’ll tell the master you’ve arrived.’
The door closed with a bang. Standing slightly behind Catherine, Mrs Rankin sniffed. ‘The years certainly don’t sweeten her disposition.’
‘No, but I expect she knows why I am here and doesn’t think very highly of me.’
‘It is not up to her to think one way or the other about you. She works for the vicar, nothing more.’
Suspecting the housekeeper’s position in the house was more pivotal than that, Catherine waited in silence for Reverend Hailey to appear. She practised the calming breathing techniques Theo had taught her and took several long, deep breaths to steady herself. It always worked for her on the stage and in some ways the upcoming meeting was no different. She and Hailey were the two lead actors in a dramatic scene. The only problem was that Catherine had no idea what her lines were—or what his might turn out to be.
After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and Reverend Hailey walked in. He had been a pleasant-looking man in his youth, but over the years, his round face had thinned out, his black eyebrows had grown bushy and the hair on his head had thinned. He spared a brief glance for Catherine as he walked past, frowned at the presence of Mrs Rankin and then sat down at his desk. ‘So, you’ve come back.’
‘I have, as you knew I would. Thomas’s fifth birthday is a week away and I am anxious to have him back,’ Catherine said, determined not to be put off by Hailey’s lack of enthusiasm. ‘How is he? I am so looking forward to seeing him again.’
‘The boy is fine. However, as to your seeing him, I’m afraid that won’t be possible.’
‘I beg your pardon?’ Catherine risked a quick glance at Mrs Rankin and saw the expression of concern on her face. One, no doubt, that was reflected on her own. ‘We agreed that Thomas was to be returned to me when he turned five. I wrote and told you I was coming.’
‘And I received your letter. But your memory is faulty when it comes to the terms of our agreement, Miss Jones. I agreed to review the situation when the boy turned five and to make my decision based on the information I had at hand. That is what I have done. And based on information that has recently come into my possession, I cannot allow you to take Thomas away.’
‘But I don’t understand.’ A hard knot formed in the pit of Catherine’s stomach.
‘What kind of information did you receive?’
‘Information regarding your conduct with the Marquess of Alderbury’s heir,’ Eliza Hailey said, walking into the room. ‘Disgraceful conduct that neither myself nor my husband were pleased to hear about.’
Catherine looked over as Eliza Hailey took her place beside her husband. Unlike Hailey, Eliza had flourished in the intervening years. Her figure was still slim and attractively curved, her hair was the same shade of light golden blonde and her clothes, while suitable for a clergyman’s wife, were of finer material than one might expect. ‘It seems you have not been leading the life of a good Christian woman, Miss Jones,’ she said, ‘as much as you might like us to believe otherwise.’
‘If you heard anything that would cause you to be disappointed, you have been misinformed,’ Catherine said. ‘I have done nothing for which I have reason to be ashamed.’
‘Perhaps not in your eyes, but what is acceptable conduct in the eyes of an actress would be vastly different from what is acceptable to my husband and myself,’ Eliza said.
‘But that’s not fair—!’ Mrs Rankin exclaimed.
‘Mrs Rankin, perhaps it would be best if you waited outside,’ Catherine said quickly. ‘I would like to speak to Reverend Hailey alone.’
Mrs Rankin frowned and, after casting a dark glance in Eliza’s direction, left the room. Catherine waited until the door closed before turning to face the vicar. ‘Perhaps you would be good enough to tell me what this is all about.’
‘I don’t think we need go into it—’ Eliza began.
‘I would prefer to hear it from your husband, Mrs Hailey,’ Catherine said, not about to be dismissed by the vicar’s wife. ‘Reverend Hailey?’
The vicar was clearly uncomfortable relaying the details of his case. ‘Yes, well, as my wife said, we have received reports of...conduct unbecoming—’
‘What manner of unbecoming conduct?’
‘We have heard that you...well, that you have been seen in the company of men.’
‘I am often in the company of men, Reverend Hailey, just as I am often in the company of women,’ Catherine said. ‘I am an actress. It is the nature of my business to be seen in the company of the theatre-going public.’
‘I understand that, but I have been informed that you have spent rather more time than is appropriate with one particular gentleman—’
‘Lord Valbourg,’ Eliza was quick to add.
‘And that you have been seen getting in and out of his carriage on several occasions,’ Reverend Hailey continued.
‘I do not deny it,’ Catherine said. ‘We were at a reception together and he made his carriage available to take me home.’
‘Why? A man like that would hardly bother with a person like you unless there was a good reason for it.’
Anger flared, but knowing it would not help her, Catherine fought it back. ‘I am well aware that you have been keeping watch on me these past five years, Reverend Hailey, and that you have received regular reports with regard to my conduct. As such, you will know that I have led an exemplary life.’
‘You are an actress,’ Eliza said cynically. ‘Pray tell us how that entitles you to make such a ridiculous claim.’
‘I am not saying I have led as normal a life as most,’ Catherine allowed, ‘but neither have I done anything for which I need feel ashamed. I was born with an ability to sing and I have used that ability to make a career for myself. One that has allowed me to earn enough money to provide for myself and my son.’
‘But your misconduct with Lord Valbourg—’
‘There has been no misconduct,’ Catherine said. ‘On the night of his sister’s engagement celebration, Lord Valbourg sent a carriage to fetch me from the theatre and to take me home afterwards—’
‘We are not talking simply about the use of his carriage,’ Eliza interrupted. ‘We are talking about something far more...intimate.’
‘We refer, Miss Jones, to a kiss,’ Reverend Hailey said, his cheeks darkening. ‘A passionate kiss between you and Lord Valbourg that took place in his carriage the night after your final performance. One that left no one in any doubt as to the licentious nature of the relationship that exists between you.’
Catherine stared at the man as a sickening awareness of what he was referring to sank in. So, her emotional embrace with Valbourg had not gone unnoticed. Stubbs must have been lurking in the neighbourhood, keeping watch on her activities. Then, having witnessed the exchange, he had decided to make Hailey aware of her transgression rather than demand a hefty bribe to ensure his silence. ‘It was not what you think—’
‘It was exactly what we think,’ Eliza said. ‘A kiss between an unmarried aristocrat and his mistress.’
Catherine gasped. ‘I am not Lord Valbourg’s mistress!’
‘There is no point in trying to deny it, Miss Jones,’ Reverend Hailey said. ‘You were observed in his arms. Clearly, an understanding exists between the two of you, and as such, my wife and I are not prepared to give Thomas into your care.’
‘But this is a mistake!’ Catherine cried. ‘If Lord Valbourg were here, he would tell you so!’
‘I can only judge the situation by what I hear, and what I hear does not permit me to let you have Thomas,’ Reverend Hailey said. ‘Clearly, you lack the Christian morals necessary for raising a child in an appropriate manner and it would be wrong of me to consign the boy to your care. I cannot allow you to corrupt him with your behaviour!’
‘He is my son!’
‘And he is my grandson! The only link I have to William, God rest his soul.’
‘You’ve changed your tone, Reverend Hailey,’ Catherine was stung into replying. ‘You told me Will’s death was a punishment from God for the sin he committed with me.’
‘My son is no concern of yours. If anything, he is dead because of you!’
Catherine blanched. ‘How dare you say such a cruel and hateful thing. I loved your son. I had nothing to do with his death.’
‘You had everything to do with it. You led him astray!’ Reverend Hailey cried, rising in agitation. ‘You tempted him with your body and he died because of it. I refuse to let you near Thomas. I will do everything I can to protect that poor boy’s soul. You can give him nothing—’
‘I can give him a mother’s love. And I can provide for him.’
‘As Lord Valbourg provides for you?’ Eliza said waspishly.
‘How dare you!’ Catherine said, finally losing her temper. ‘No man has ever provided for me. I have made my own way in the world, without help from anyone.’
‘You exist on the proceeds of a lewd and vile occupation,’ Reverend Hailey said. ‘A way of life that would corrupt Thomas as surely as it has corrupted you. That is why I sent him away. I could not afford to run the risk of you poisoning him with your—’
‘Sent him away?’ Catherine interrupted. ‘Where? Where have you sent him?’
‘That is of no concern of yours. I have done what I know to be best for the boy. Now I would ask you to leave. I find your presence here extremely distasteful.’
Catherine stared at the man in disbelief. ‘Why did you agree to this meeting if you had no intention of giving Thomas back to me?’
‘My husband does not have to answer to you,’ Eliza said.
‘Oh, yes, he does,’ Catherine said, rounding on her. ‘I asked him a question and I expect an answer.’ She turned back to glare at the minister. ‘Or have you no voice of your own?’
It was not, perhaps, the most tactful thing to say, but Catherine was beyond caring. Hailey had no right to keep Thomas and certainly not as a result of a kiss that had been bestowed without thought or sentiment.
‘I have a voice and I will use it to tell you that I was of a mind to give Thomas into your care until this past week, when the letter arrived informin
g me of your conduct,’ Reverend Hailey said. ‘And, yes, Miss Jones, I was disappointed. What I had heard of your behaviour to that point led me to believe you were leading a life free of sin. Now I see it was all a carefully constructed lie. Mrs Comstock?’
The housekeeper appeared instantly, as if she’d been waiting outside the door. ‘Yes, Reverend Hailey?’
‘Show Miss Jones out.’
There was nothing more to say. Catherine looked into the faces of the vicar and his wife and saw no kindness or charity there. They were united in their stand against her. She would not be leaving Grafton with her son. Not today or at any time in the foreseeable future.
* * *
Catherine was silent on the ride back to Cheltenham, lost in a morass of grief and despair. Mrs Rankin tried to take an optimistic view of the situation, saying she was sure Reverend Hailey would change his mind once he’d had a chance to think things over, but Catherine knew better. She had stood in front of Hailey and his wife and listened to them tear her down and knew there was no hope of them changing their minds. Her hopes lay in ashes, her dream of having Thomas restored to her shattered.
Reverend Hailey still believed her a fallen woman; the evidence a damning letter from Stubbs...and it must have been Stubbs, Catherine reflected bitterly. For once, he hadn’t waited in the alley close to her house, but had ventured further afield, hoping to catch her at an inopportune moment—and he had. For the first time since her arrival in London, she had done something she should not—and it had been her downfall.
Gwendolyn, of course, wanted to hear about everything that had taken place, but saying only that matters had gone terribly wrong and that she would explain later, Catherine went up to her room and sat for some time at her dressing table, sadness pressing like a crushing weight on her chest. For the first time, she realised exactly how much she had been looking forward to this day...and how desperately she wanted Thomas back. He was all that mattered to her. He had been the justification for the endless hours she had spent working on her voice. The one thing that had made worthwhile all the late nights and early mornings. Now he was gone. A few thoughtless kindnesses, a meaningless kiss, and she had lost everything.
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