by Lara Swann
I head over to Josh feeling a little bemused, assuming he’s doing it deliberately, but a little uncertain as to what I think of it. I was enjoying having my friend around - the idea of that being replaced by some arrogant douchebag isn’t appealing, even if it does help our story.
“Here.” I say, a little shortly, as I set the plate down on the table beside the set of sun loungers he’s occupying.
“Thanks, babe.” He grins at me, and the sparkle in his eyes tells me that he knows exactly what he’s doing.
I give him a brief scowl that I know no one else will see, and that grin gets deeper.
“Gotta let me have some fun, Caz.” He winks.
“You’ve been having fun all morning!” I object fiercely, keeping my voice hushed.
I’m the one that’s had to deal with my Mom and sisters all day, while he’s been having a laugh by the pool.
“You mean you haven’t?” His expression takes on a mock-innocent look that wouldn’t fool a four-year-old and I turn around before I try hitting him with something - my standard response when he gets this way, and one I’m not entirely sure would be appropriate for my boyfriend.
Just as I’m starting to walk away, he slaps my ass with a laugh.
“Nice one, Cassie.” His voice grows louder again. “This stuff sure looks like it was worth all that time in the kitchen.”
I stutter to a stop in pure shock for a moment, my ass stinging and my mouth struggling not to drop open, before I recover enough to keep on walking.
I can hear him chuckling behind me, and I’m not sure whether to turn around and glare at him or just go along with the pretense that this is perfectly normal.
Either way, he’s having far too much fun provoking me. Like he thinks this game gives him some liberty to do that or something.
You’re meant to be pissing them off, not me!
I have to stop myself turning to scowl at him again.
The problem is, Josh knows all my buttons. And he’s pressing them so deliberately right now that even though I know what he’s doing, it’s still really hard not to react in my usual snarky, irreverent way.
You’re meant to be a young couple madly in love. Remember that. Remember it.
So I take a deep breath as I walk back up to where my Mom and sisters are still standing around the tables of food, and notice that their conversation has become somewhat muted as they glance between Josh and I.
I take a split second to work out how I want to play this, and then give them a light smile and a shrug.
“Men!” I say, rolling my eyes. “Guess there’s some things you just can’t change, hey?”
Mom and Maria exchange a quick look, and I realize the sentiment is rather similar to what Maria was trying to tell me earlier - only this time, she’s looking unsettled.
Yep, another point for Josh. Pick something he knows I can’t help but react to, and make me try to cover it up, and it will look exactly like that - a poor effort to pretend I don’t care. He’s just a bastard for doing it, and especially without any warning.
I can deal with it as an act - even this. At least, I think so.
But he’s in so much fucking trouble when we get back to our room tonight.
Beth puts up with our strange silence for a moment longer, and then squeals.
“Hey, Cassie! You haven’t even seen my ring yet! Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t show you immediately, I was just so caught up in everything else going on and you know it really is a lot to think about but—ohh, here, look!” She pulls me forward before I have a chance to object, and for once I’m grateful for her self-absorption. Takes the focus off of me, anyway.
“Isn’t it perfect?” She gushes, and I blink as I see the large diamond on her finger, surrounded by a cluster of sapphires and sparkling in the light. “Neil spent so long choosing it, he told me - it’s diamond, because doesn’t every girl deserve a diamond, and then the sapphires because of my eyes, and ohh, Cassie, I can’t believe this is finally happening to me.”
I smile at her, genuinely for once. Whatever else I think about her, even I can get swept up in the moment and her romantic notions. I give her a quick hug, that she’s obviously not expecting, but returns after a moment.
“I’m really happy for you, Beth. The ring is stunning, and it sounds like he really cares—”
“Oh, isn’t it just?” She sighs dramatically again, then deliberately lowers her voice. “It’s probably worth thousands, you know. But Neil can do things like that. His family are super wealthy, have I told you that? Yeah, I’ve told you that—”
Only a dozen times.
I nod, but she’s barely waiting for the acknowledgment.
“Yeah, so, it’s just all going to be perfect. We’ll have the wedding of our dreams, and he’s got an amazing job in Phoenix so then he’ll finally take me out of this shit-stain town and into a real city—”
Beth continues talking at the mile-a-minute pace that I always end up tuning out before I start getting a headache, and I glance over at Maria, who has a look of long-standing patience on her face, and my Mom, who seems mildly irritated.
It’s pretty much the only thing Beth and I have ever agreed on - wanting to get out of the small border town we grew up in - but Mom and Maria still live there, and I feel a pang of guilt at her lack of tact. Not that Beth has ever been known for tact.
At least it gets me out of the limelight again, and I end up with some space to try and settle into the mixed role of myself-but-not-quite and fake-in-love-with-my-best-friend. Which is hard as hell. Even my body seems to be starting to get confused about what’s real and what’s not.
How the hell does Josh do this for a living?
* * *
“Cassie! There you are, sweetie.”
I glance up from my book to see Mom heading towards me, and try not to sigh. I was just starting to actually relax.
After the far-more-hectic-than-necessary morning and then being cornered into listening to Beth’s stories, I’d finally managed to escape for a couple of hours of lying out in the sun by the pool. You know, the sort of thing I’d been hoping for all along.
“Yes, Mom?” I ask.
“I just wanted to borrow you to talk for a moment.” Mom starts, and I put the book down.
“Okay.” I agree, still waiting.
Her eyes dart to Josh, lying with his eyes closed only a few feet away, and then back again. “Over here, sweetie.”
She nods away from the pool, and this time I look over at Josh, raising an eyebrow that he doesn’t see.
Is there something else he’s done now?
I don’t think he’s actually asleep, but he’s clearly not that interested in our exchange. Which I don’t blame him for at all, except I have to resist the urge to prod him and ask whether he knows what this is about.
Looking back at Mom, I oblige, swinging my legs off the sun lounger and walking over to the edge of the pool area.
“Yes?” I ask again, giving a smile I almost believe and attempting to bolster my tolerance for the umpteenth time today.
And the week has barely started…we haven’t even had Beth’s engagement party yet!
“Oh, good.” She enthuses, as if this discussion had been my idea, giving me a wide smile that I don’t trust for an instant. “I just wanted to tell you, honey, that Matthew just arrived.”
I blink at her.
“Who?”
“Matthew! Oh, you know Matthew, he was in tenth grade with you!” She says with far too much cheer.
I have no idea who she’s talking about.
“I don’t think I remember—” I start getting an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, suspicions rising. “Why is Matthew here, Mom?”
“Well, you know, since he’s such an old family friend, I thought I’d invite him - we have so much room here, you know how it is. And then I found out that he’s moving to LA in the fall! So I thought it would just be the perfect opportunity for you both to catch up, you know,
so he could have a friend when he moves!” She announces with an excited gesture, her smile starting to feel forced.
I just stare at her in silence for a moment, too stunned to do anything else.
I was expecting this.
It was the whole reason I brought Josh, dammit!
But I never would’ve guessed I’d have to deal with it with Josh here.
“A friend.” I say, completely deadpan. “That’s what he came for?”
“Well, you know…” She gestures helplessly.
“I’m here with Josh.” I say bluntly, cutting through all her attempts to act like this is anything other than a blatant set-up.
“Well, I didn’t know about that when I invited him!” She snaps at me, her pleasant facade cracking. “So now you need to at least make some effort, Cassie, or who knows what he’ll think…”
That you’re completely insane and too egotistical to cancel and save him making a fool of himself?
I just look at her, completely unimpressed, and tired of these games.
“No thanks, Mom. You invited the poor guy - you entertain him. I’m going back to the pool.” I start to turn around, and she grabs my arm, stepping closer.
“This is your sister’s engagement week, Cassie.” She hisses, “It’s not the time for you to be difficult about this - it’s not fair to Beth to cause all this drama.”
I tug my arm away and step back, glaring back as my whole body reacts violently to the accusation.
The only one causing drama here is you.
I don’t say it. I’ve played this game and had enough arguments about it not to bother anymore.
I still haven’t quite shaken the childish ‘that’s so unfair!’ reaction, but I’m mature enough now to recognize it’s never going to be fair. That’s just the way life - and my mother - is. She’ll throw whatever she can in my face just to get the response she wants.
“Just spend a little time with him, Cassie.” Her attitude becomes pleading a moment later, as I’m still staring at her stonily. “That’s all I’m asking. Can’t you, for once, just do as I ask and help me uphold our family’s reputation?”
I have no idea what that reputation is. My Mom talks about it often enough, but considering the way she acts, I can’t believe it’s in any way positive to start with.
And it’s not just this once either. I refrain from pointing out all the times I’ve done just that.
But I also know I’m not getting out of this conversation easily - and it’d be better for me to subtly make it clear to the guy, Matthew, that I’m not interested, than to leave him on the receiving end of Mom’s inability to handle confrontation and embarrassment.
“Fine.” I say, frustrated. “I’ll have a quick conversation with him, and let him know I’m here with Josh.”
“Well, okay, but maybe give it a bit of time first.” She winces. “After all, he’s moving to LA and it’d be so nice for you both to be friends. Besides, you never know how things are going to go, or what might happen with you and Josh. Maybe…he’s not the right one for you, Cassandra - you’re never going to know unless you consider a few alternatives. Just…keep your eyes open.”
She gives me a knowing smile, all ease and grace again now that I’ve agreed, and I blink at that comment as she starts whisking me away to where Matthew is presumably waiting.
Seriously?!
I don’t know whether to be outraged again, suspicious that this set-up occurred because of Josh instead of despite him, or subtly pleased that his attempts to put my family off might be working.
I decide to go with the latter, since it’s by far the most pleasant of those options.
We end up at the tables scattered with food from the barbecue nearer the house, and I see a man there putting together what looks like a meat-and-more-meat sandwich.
“Matthew!” Mom enthuses, as if she’s known this man all her life.
He looks up and turns towards us with a smile, and I give a polite one back.
He’s not bad looking - certainly better than some of the men Mom has presented me with - with overly-styled blond hair slicked back from a slightly pudgy face. He adjusts his glasses slightly as he steps forward and I bring an arm up to shake his hand.
That gets awkwardly pushed aside as he goes in for a hug, and I try to adjust to the gesture, briefly wrapping one arm around his back.
“It’s so good to see you again, Cassie.” Matthew says, and I have to blink at him for a moment as I wonder whether he actually remembers me.
I don’t recognize him at all.
“Ah…yes, you too.” I agree anyway, giving another polite smile as I try to step back again.
I’m grateful when his attention returns to his plate of food, and he picks it up with another smile, standing just a bit too close to me.
“You look beautiful today.” He says, with a glance down at my body that suddenly reminds me I’m only wearing a bikini.
Oh fuck.
I’m not entirely sure I can deal with this.
I feel a spasm of guilt and try to push aside my sudden desire to cover my body - which is bizarre, since I’ve never had a problem enjoying a bit of attention before, and I’m not actually with Josh.
I turn to the food, uncomfortable and more than a little confused, picking up an apple as Mom gives us both a big smile.
“I’m so glad you could come, Matthew.” She enthuses. “Cassie, why don’t you show Matthew some of the ranch? You know we’ve been coming here since Cassie was just a kid, I’m sure she’s got all sorts of favorite places she’d like to show you.”
What the fuck?
It takes all my effort not to glare at her.
I wonder whether she remembers that’s exactly what I wanted to do with Josh this morning. If she does, it’s yet another sign that she doesn’t like him, which should be a good thing, but…
“That would be lovely.” He gives me another warm smile, and now I feel bad for him as well.
“Umm, well…okay.” I make the sudden decision.
Get him away from my Mom, make the situation obvious. That’ll do.
“Well, I’ll leave the two of you alone, then.” My Mom doesn’t quite wink, but it’s definitely implied.
I deliberately turn away from her, and Matthew follows me.
“I guess we could walk through the gardens.” I childishly pick the one place I never had any interest in.
It’s also near enough to the pool area, and where my whole family are, that there’s no risk of being alone.
Matthew walks along beside me, and I don’t look at him as I take a bite of my apple.
Polite, but blunt. Not enough to scandalize my family, but enough to make it obvious very quickly.
My usual approach when it comes to these things.
“So, what brought you up this way today?” I ask.
He laughs a little. “Well, your Mom invited me, and I thought it might be nice to see you again.”
I give him a half-smile. “Okay, I’ll be honest - I don’t remember you at all, Matthew. Did we actually know each other in college?”
He flushes and glances away. “Um, that’s okay, I wasn’t…sure you would. Though your Mom seemed to think…”
“My Mom gets all sorts of ideas in her head. Not many of them are entirely grounded in reality.” I interrupt, knowing exactly what she’d think of me saying that and not caring in the slightest. Matthew seems like a decent enough guy to understand.
“Oh, well…” He shrugs.
“So we didn’t know each other then?” I say with a smile. “Believe me, I won’t be offended if you say don’t have a clue who I was either.”
He gives me a ‘you’re kidding, right?’ look and I raise an eyebrow.
“Yeah, Cassie, you were the hottest girl in class. I think everyone remembers you.” He says, the comment just barely the right side of lewd.
“Hmm,” I consider. “I’m not sure…”
He laughs. “Yes, it was blatantly obvious
you didn’t notice. I think you were too distracted with school…”
I’m getting the uncomfortable feeling of a group of boys at college discussing and perving on my oblivious younger self.
I laugh it off anyway with a shrug and a look. “I think I still am now.”
He grins again. “Yeah, your Mom mentioned - med school, right?”
There’s the opening you were aiming for.
I nod. “Yeah, between that and my boyfriend Josh, I don’t have much time for anything else these days.”
That gets a reaction.
He recoils slightly, blinking in surprise. “Your…boyfriend?”
I smile, appearing completely oblivious. “Yeah, Josh.”
Then, against all odds, he actually steps closer to me.
“And…how’s that going?” He gives me another smile that I don’t quite know how to interpret, as I stare at him.
What the fuck?
“Um…good.” I say, then try and emphasize that again as I get over his unexpected reaction. “Really good - he’s here this week, actually, meeting my family for the first time.”
“Ohh, really…” He gives me another strange look, and I try and step slightly away from him again, feeling uncomfortably close to this guy I don’t know at all.
We head past the pool area and I shift our direction to take us just a little nearer, gesturing to where Josh is still lying in the sun.
“That’s him over there.” I say, trying to make a point of it, and then I give an instinctive wave, even though I’m not sure Josh is even awake.
“Mmhmm.” Matthew murmurs, glancing over.
Then Josh waves back, and I feel an unexpected wave of relief. I smile at him, even though he’s on the other side of the pool and I’m pretty sure we’re silhouetted against the sun.
The desire to be back there, with him and my sun lounger, overwhelms me as I finally feel completely done with my Mom’s games.
“Well,” I begin, with a sidelong look at Matthew beside me. “You know, I’m actually feeling pretty tired. If you don’t mind, I might go back over there…”