by Lara Swann
“What?”
Bella’s voice drew me out of the completely illicit fantasy and made me realize I wasn’t the only one wrapped up in thoughts that left me with no clue as to where the conversation was.
“I was just asking whether you were alright with the lamb - you mentioned something about going through a vegan phase at school?”
The question seemed badly timed, considering the food was already cooked and served, but Bella was eating it without complaint - and from the closed off expression on her face, without tasting it either.
“Oh, yes, it’s fine thank you. And it wasn’t a phase - it was a challenge. Just wanted to see whether I could do it for 60 days.”
“If you say so.”
The condescension there irked me, but apart from a momentary frown, Bella ignored it. To my surprise, it was my mother’s voice that spoke up.
“I can understand that - challenging yourself to do new, different things. I’m sure Seth does too - isn’t that one of your SEAL mottos, hmm?”
Not the way you say it.
Ever since I’d gained that badge of honor, my mother had become obsessed with it - quick to parade my service out in front of anyone who would listen, and I couldn’t stand it. She had no clue what it really meant to be who I was, to serve as I did. A few maxims and quotes weren’t enough to understand. Constantly challenging, training, learning, pushing…that was as much a part of my life as breathing. So yes, I could understand Bella’s motivations - she was the kind of girl who could fit into that same life view, after all. But I sincerely doubted my mother did.
Instead of launching into that tirade, I just shrugged and grunted, brushing it away as I always did with those comments.
I focused on pushing away the distraction of her presence right there at my shoulder and tried to turn my attention back to the man my mother was planning to make my step-father. My initial optimism had died as soon as I’d realized just whose father he was, and with it most of my interest, but I could at least try to be polite. Whatever got me away from the awkwardness of this meal quicker. And away from the tempting siren next to me.
Unfortunately, he brought the conversation right back to the same place again.
“Ah yes, your mother mentioned you were in the Navy SEALs. Quite an accomplishment - is it as hard as they say, the training?”
I felt Bella startle at that, shooting me a sidelong glance.
The images flashed through my mind briefly - the freezing cold, the harsh surf as we lay in it for hours, the never-ending ache of fatigued muscles, constant stress and pressure and haranguing to quit…it was the worst thing I’d ever done. And the best. And I never wanted to do it again.
“Harder.”
He asked me a few more questions but I didn’t elaborate much beyond one word answers. I tried to care about being pleasant but found myself failing spectacularly. I hated this line of conversation - almost like I was some novelty on display. I’d never found anyone outside the force that I could stand talking to about this stuff. And those within didn’t talk about it - they didn’t need to.
The conversation died away after a few more moments, and I was glad to just focus on my food. My mother kicked it off again just as the silence started to feel heavy, evidently giving up on me.
“What about you, Annabelle? Your father mentioned you’d graduated with a 3.9 - that’s seriously impressive! What are your plans now?”
Bella shifted beside me, and I could read her discomfort instantly. My eyes watched her closely at that, curiosity overcoming even the desire to run my hand up through her hair and unpick the clips that held it restrained. There was something wrong about my need to feel it tumbling around me, my hand caught in it as I pulled her head back for a kiss that would take her breath away…
OK, maybe curiosity didn’t quite overcome that.
Bella cleared her throat and glanced at her father, before taking a breath in a manner that spoke of a practiced action.
“I’ve been thinking about that, actually.”
Terence gave her a quick look, his face unchanged as he answered for her.
“You were thinking of attending a med school near here, weren’t you? So studying for the MCAT soon, I imagine.”
She looked back at him evenly, but her body language made me feel she was preparing herself for what she was about to say.
The dynamics between the two of them were fascinating - Bella’s controlled, almost emotionless manner had been a big part of her reputation at school. Personally, I’d never quite seen her that way - but then I’d made it my purpose to goad her out of it. Looking at them both right now though, I had a feeling that this was who it was for.
“Yes, that’s one of the options. But, you know, we’d discussed taking some time to think it through after graduation, and I’ve also been getting really interested in forensics. I was thinking it might be worth pursu—”
She was cut off by a slight laugh, and my eyebrows shot up as I looked back to her father, who was shaking his head with a small, tolerant smile.
“I think you’ve been watching too much CSI, my dear.”
Bella tensed for a moment beside me, before forcing herself to relax and shrugging.
“It’s just something to consider - maybe we should talk about it another time.”
“I don’t think there’s much to talk about, Annabelle. It’s not a good idea.”
His response made my blood boil and I was ready to snap at him, but glanced to the side and waited for Bella to do so - she wouldn’t appreciate me fighting her battles. And it wasn’t like it was my place to anyway. But to my surprise she just slunk further into her chair and pushed her food around the plate.
This was the girl who had never once failed to find a come-back for one of my jibes?
It took all my effort not to stare at her. For some reason, her attitude just made me even angrier - with her or him, I couldn’t tell. Maybe both of them. Maybe just the world for this whole fucked up situation.
What did I care whether she did medicine or forensics, anyway?
Except that I couldn’t stand to see her treated that way.
Says the guy who was taunting her a few minutes ago…
My reaction made less sense than her behavior and it was all irritating the hell out of me.
The air was tense for a minute, until my mother picked up the slack again and rattled on about some conversation she’d had out shopping today. If I wasn’t so irate, I would have been impressed with her sudden social graces.
Bella asked to be excused a few minutes later, when a couple of people came to collect our plates, saying she had a headache and wasn’t feeling like dessert. Her father just nodded and she turned to my mother.
“It was good to meet you, Cora…Seth.”
She didn’t look at me as she turned and left, and it took more willpower than I would have expected not to watch her go.
Great. And now I’m all alone with them both…
Not that that mattered when my only thought was of her - the way she’d looked, dejected and defeated in the face of her father’s comments. A direct contrast to the spark of anger and outrage I’d provoked earlier tonight, the familiar game that was now tinged with an uncomfortable edge. The way I could still remember her body, skin against skin as we drove each other to heights I’ve never seen before or since.
God damn!
I could almost feel her against me again, hearing her cry my name as I was taken with the way this somewhat shy, innocent girl could become such an intense wildcat when provoked. That was what had enthralled me, I’d known from the first instant. And seeing the opposite tonight had provoked me almost beyond tolerance.
I wanted to go after her, to change whatever had just happened between her and her father - even knowing most likely I could only make it worse. The sporadic conversation between Terence and my mother almost drove me up the wall as I sat there debating whether to storm up after her or stay away. I knew what the sensible thing
to do was. I knew what was right.
And I wanted to damn it all to hell.
It was a terrible idea. But there was so much between us…so much left unsaid. And now that our parents had hooked up, it wasn’t like we could avoid each other forever.
But we couldn’t have anything else either. Even if I hadn’t gone out of my way to push her away tonight, my mother had ensured she was firmly out of reach. I just wasn’t conditioned to accept that.
There is no “can’t”. Will or will not, that’s your only choice.
Dale’s oft-repeated phrases seemed meaningless in the face of this. She was about to become my step-sister - what could be more impossible?
And even if she wasn’t, it would be hard enough, with what I’d said tonight…with what lay between us three years ago…
I tried to tell myself the disgust and anger I’d seen in her eyes was a good thing - it would keep me away, stop me doing anything rash - but it ate at me anyway, even if I had invited it.
I’d committed to seeing her tonight - to explaining myself and at least setting things straight between us. It sucked balls that this was how I’d seen her, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t set the past right.
Perhaps that was all that was left to me now, and once I was done I could finally put this obsession to bed. I’d hurt her once - I’d seen that in her expression tonight - and we were brother and sister now. I wouldn’t hurt her again - but after all this time apart, I needed a few moments with her in private.
I finished dinner with a few questions to Terence, asking him about his business and acting like I was thinking about anything but his daughter’s fair, pretty skin writhing underneath me. He seemed only too happy to comply, regaling me with tales of the tech industry and how his company was poised on the edge of overtaking some new innovation. It sounded mind-numbingly boring to me, but he was obviously pleased with it.
When we were finally done, my mother offered to take me up to the room she’d had prepared for me. The idea of staying here now twisted my gut in knots, but I’d agreed - and even as frustrated as I was, I could see this was good for her, so I didn’t say anything. I could always change my mind another day. For tonight, there was the promise that Bella would be only a few rooms away - and the burning need still to see her. So I took my mother’s directions and even managed a moderately polite goodnight.
Then I set off in search of Bella.
Chapter Three
Seth
Resting my shoulder against the side of the door, I knocked and waited as I heard my new step-sister moving inside and coming to answer. The rooms were stupid big in this place.
As soon as she saw me, her expression closed-off and I could see the obvious temptation to slam the door in my face. Not giving her a chance to think about it, I gave my casual smile and walked easily past her and inside.
“Hey!”
As she spun to face me, I couldn’t help how much I adored the way outrage had always puckered up her pretty, delicate features.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
So, yeah, not welcome.
It was expected, even if I wished it was undeserved.
I just raised my eyebrows and gave her a long look, wanting the door closed before I said any of what I’d come for.
“I thought you’d prefer to talk in private, hmm?”
She caught my meaning immediately, flushing and closing the door with a quick glance outside before coming forward to glare at me. Such strong, passionate eyes when she was riled up. I couldn’t help enjoying it just as much as I had at eighteen, my body’s reaction showing me that the time apart hadn’t done anything to diminish her effect on me.
I cursed the fact she was off-limits yet again - this would be so much easier if I could just push her up against the wall and show her just how much I’d missed whatever that brief thing between us had been.
God damn.
I ignored that and took a breath, finally having her alone and in relative privacy and wanting to at least explain the last three years…and try to discuss the mess we were in now.
“About before—”
Her eyes flashed and back straightened, that stubborn set of her chin making my body heat all over again.
“You can’t tell anyone about that - my father would never forgive me! As far as I’m concerned, it never happened.”
That was all it took to turn my conciliatory plan to anger, my mouth opening instinctively, unable to accept that she cared more about what her father thought than what had happened between us.
“Still chasing Daddy’s approval, I see.”
Her body tightened but despite that small indication, she stayed where she was, in full disdainful control.
There were a few officers who would have been impressed…
“It was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made - don’t make it worse now, asshole.”
Damn it, but this woman knew how to provoke me.
My good intentions disappeared in the face of anger and need, and I sauntered towards her stiff body, enjoying the way her eyes immediately turned wary. I stepped up close, invading her personal space, but with the way our eyes held each other she didn’t move. My mouth curved at the evidence of what I was sure was running through her body as deeply as it was mine and I tilted my head, my breath brushing her lips while I kept myself moments above her. Inches away from every kiss we’d ever shared. My heartbeat thudded in my ears, something akin to adrenaline surging as I felt her caught like this - under my gaze, my body.
Electricity jumped between the narrow space separating our bodies, the tingle of what could be there almost stronger than if I’d actually touched her. Her eyes widened with it and gave me just a glimmer of what I was looking for, lips parting just a little as blood shot to my cock. I let the smile bloom full and deadly as my hand finally broke the distance between us, curling in the strands of her hair that were at last loose from the bob she kept them in and tilting her head towards me.
“Is that what you’re telling yourself, baby? Because I remember it differently - I heard you gasp my name as you came at my word…your sweet moans while I drove you crazy…felt your soft curves relax as you fit perfectly into my arms that night…”
I stepped back with those words reverberating in her mind, her eyes glazed for just a moment before she jerked back, stepping away from me with a horrified look on her face.
“Stop it! You can’t talk like that, asshole. None of that meant anything - they can never know!”
She was clearly struggling not to yell now, and if part of me wasn’t turning to ash inside I might even have been amused at her difficulty in trying not to cause a scene someone would hear.
It shouldn’t matter - I’d expected all this, and it wasn’t like we had a chance even if she’d embraced me with open arms. But somehow her distress, her anger, was twisting inside me and I wanted to wrap my arms around her, show her I’d make it better and let her cry and rage against me as much as she needed.
It was a stupid desire and it had no place between us now. There was a reason I kept provoking, pushing her away, and it was best to stick to it - she’d made very obvious she didn’t want anything from me.
My explanations were unwanted, and I’d stick to my word - I wouldn’t drag her on whatever dangerous path this crazy need inside of me was longing to go. I wouldn’t hurt her like that again.
I shrugged and let my face slip back into disinterest, my disdain for her concern about her father’s opinion seeping in.
“Don’t worry, babe - it wasn’t interesting enough for me to cause a scene.”
I could see the words hit her, but the relief was written clearly on her face and she just nodded at me, as if I’d confirmed something she’d always suspected.
“Good.”
It twisted inside me a little, but it was for the best. The hateful jabs would serve us better than the passionate mess that seemed to be bubbling just under the surface. Better to kill it off now.
“Glad that’s settled then. See ya around - Belle.”
I gave her an ironic smile and turned to leave, resolving to stay as far away as possible and cursing my mother to the depths of hell.
Chapter Four
Bella
I sank back against the door I’d just closed and fought the scream that was trying to escape.
Damn it all!
Emotions stabbed through me, a tidal wave I couldn’t control as the day-from-hell crashed over me again and again.
The anger was obvious, though where it was directed I couldn’t have said right now - Seth, my father, life itself…they all seemed to be vying for my attention at the moment. But under that were elements of disappointment, frustration and some deep sadness I didn’t even understand. That only made the whole thing worse, and now that the asshole was gone I couldn’t stop my body from shaking, everything too much to process as I tried to catch my breath.
But worst of all…my body was still vibrating just from that one, brief touch. The words he’d said. The look on his face.
God-damn sexy, arrogant bastard.
Seeing Seth standing opposite me in the drawing room earlier had been enough of a shock, but what had shaken me to my core was the difference.
Three years ago, he’d been a boy with skills no boy should have - coupled with a matching badass attitude and sexy-as-hell smile that lit up the mischief in his eyes.
Now…he was a man. In every sense of the word.
The body that had been so much more impressive than any of the other idiot jocks had filled out beyond belief - it was harder, thicker and he carried it with an unconscious, confident grace that I could only describe as deadly. When I’d heard later at dinner that he was in the SEALs, it had fit in a way that made me shudder. That was what emanated from him now - a dangerous intensity and fierce control that scared me more than his wild behavior ever had.
Scared me, and set my blood on fire.
Fuck.