“I’ve always loved you too, Keely girl. You were my first child, there is always a soft spot in a father’s heart for his first.”
They sat quietly, him holding her. She had a million questions she wanted to ask, a million things she wanted to tell him, but now she knew she’d have the time. She couldn’t believe how a person’s life could change so indelibly in little more than a heartbeat. A few short hours ago had been some of the darkest moments of her life. She silently wondered if she would have had the courage to stand up to Derik if he hadn’t brought up marriage?
At that very moment, she realized it would never end—not in four years, not ever. Ever since she could remember, she always thought she’d come so close to getting her mother’s love, but just never quite made it. She didn’t know why she couldn’t see it before, why even when Peter and Rissa told her, she didn’t believe them. She guessed it didn’t matter now, but in the back of her mind somewhere, she couldn’t let it go entirely.
“All I’m saying is that if you’re going to lie about something, you should at least be sure the ruse you try has a basis in reality.”
Nick held the door for West to walk through. “Well, what type of a pool doesn’t have a tiled edge?”
“An invisible edge pool like the one you’ve got downstairs, obviously.”
They stopped arguing once the front door closed. Seldon gave his daughter a kiss and patted her hand before he stood.
“I imagine Clarissa’s right. You do need to rest.” She stood up with him and put her hand in her pockets to keep herself from holding on to him so he wouldn’t leave.
“Will you come for breakfast?”
“How about lunch instead? That way you won’t feel compelled to wake early just to cook for me.”
Keely felt the old pull to overachieve just so she wouldn’t disappoint him. She couldn’t remember a time when he’d been disappointed in her, but she expected it of everyone. She knew then it was going to be a long road to un-train what her mother had done to her. She wondered if she’d be strong enough to make it, but then Nick put his arm around her and pulled her close to his side. If she wasn’t strong enough on her own, he’d help her. Nick would always be there for her. She believed that as much as she believed the sun would rise tomorrow.
She kissed her father good-bye and laughed when West tried to kiss her and Nick strong-armed him out of the apartment. After the door was closed, she gave Nick a suspicious look.
“What did he mean—and I quote—’It was only fair, you kissed my wife’?”
She had her arms folded across her chest. If her soon-to-be husband was notorious for kissing other people’s wives, she wanted to know it.
“She wasn’t his wife at the time.”
She laughed and it felt wonderful. “Oh well, that makes all the difference.”
“Man, that irritating, so-called friend of mine never lets anything rest. You know I’ll be hearing about those non-existent pool tiles for years to come.”
He pulled her into his arms. “What kind of a pool doesn’t have tile edging it?”
“Apparently the one downstairs.” She echoed West’s response and they laughed together and he brought his forehead down on hers. “You’re staying? Forever?”
She smiled at the same time as tears rolled down her cheeks. “If you still want me.”
His voice became rough as he answered her. “More than my next breath, I want you.”
He gently pressed his lips to hers, then pulled away. “Does that hurt?”
“Not enough that I want you to stop.”
His smile lit up his eyes and she noticed the crinkles around them for the first time. Just like her dad’s, she thought tenderly. She touched his lips gently with her fingers.
“When will you marry me? I can’t wait much longer.”
His head dropped back as he barked laughter.
“Honey, that’s supposed to be my line.” He swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed room. “Tonight, you rest. Tomorrow...” he growled the rest at her. “we discuss weddings.”
He placed her lovingly on the bed and arranged the covers around her. She felt sore in weird places that Derik hadn’t even touched and she had to admit, she was thankful for bed and rest because she was suddenly swamped by exhaustion. She was covering a yawn with the back of her hand when he said, “I have something for you. Wait here.”
He went to the dresser and took out something, but she couldn’t see what. She rested her head back on the pillows and waited for his return. When he came back he sat beside her, took her hand and let out a short breath.
“I feel like I’ve loved you my whole life, I just didn’t realize who it was my heart was waiting for. I promise to love you, treasure you, protect you and help you soar, Keely. I want to build a life with you, make babies with you. If you’ll just do me the honor of becoming my wife.”
He flipped open a small red velvet box and in it sat a large pearl surrounded by diamonds. She stared at it through watery eyes, when she started to reach for it he pulled it back.
“Your answer please.”
She laughed her answer, “Yes, of course.”
As he slipped the ring on the third finger of her left hand he leaned close to her ear and whispered, “Remember when we were at Sea World and I left you to use the bathrooms?”
“I suppose.”
“The lines weren’t as long as I led you to believe, I was buying this.” He touched the pearl in the center. “I designed the setting when we got back and had a jeweler create it for me. I wanted something that only you would ever wear. Something sentimental, maybe even something you’d want to hand down to our son or daughter someday. Do you like it?”
“I liked it before.” She cupped his cheek. “I love it now.” Her voice broke as she answered and tried to hold back tears at the same time. She pressed her lips to his, a little too hard at first and had to back away.
“This is like the night we first met.”
He touched her lips softly with his finger and she knew he was thinking about the last time Derik hit her and they’d gone out for drinks in that crazy pirate bar. God, but it seemed like a lifetime ago.
“No. I remember the night we first met.” She stared deep into his eyes and told him the one thing she swore she never would.
“It was at some silly function, there was a weird karaoke thing going on and you walked in the room and my heart skipped a beat, my hands got clammy and I couldn’t breathe. I knew I was in love and I hadn’t spoken a single word to you.”
Tears filled her eyes, but she didn’t waver, she kept looking straight ahead into his. “I wasn’t quite sixteen at the time and I hadn’t yet been given Derik. Of course you never noticed me, but I swore you were Prince Charming. In my early years with Derik, I used to dream of you, that you’d come rescue me. I know, silly, but not a day went by when I didn’t think of you, wonder where you were. I was at your wedding, the one that didn’t take. I thought I might die that day.”
She swallowed hard and brushed away tears.
“My heart broke for you when she didn’t show up, but it sang for me. I knew I’d never be able to have you for myself, but I couldn’t stand thinking of you with her. I watched her, when we’d be at functions together, I’d watch and I knew she didn’t love you, not the way I did.
“Then all those months? At the food court?”
“I knew it was you. Although I couldn’t understand what you were doing working at Wal-Mart.”
He ran a hand through his hair, looking confused and disoriented. “I can’t believe this.”
“Are you mad?”
He closed his eyes. For several minutes he said nothing and Keely worried. In a way she’d lied to him, but she never wanted him to know how she felt for him, if she did, she knew he’d never let her go and she worried about him, about his family. Some scandals sink politicians, and she was a very credible possibility for a scandal if ever there was one.
Only when the
laughter rumbled out of his chest did she began to breathe again.
“No, I’m not mad. I love you.”
He pulled her into a soft embrace, then cradled her to his chest as the first of the fireworks exploded into the silence. They startled back from one another.
“I’d forgotten all about them.”
She smiled as she strained her neck to see out the bedroom window.
“It seems like an entire lifetime has passed since last night.”
• • •
He fell to the mattress pulling her with him and locking her in his arms her back to his chest, he tucked her head beneath his chin as they watched from bed, just the way he’d always wanted to. He thought of all the perfect moments he’d had since he’d brought her here. There were too many to count. Day after day of perfect memories, moments of perfection that he knew was going to add up to a lifetime.
He held her tight and fought back tears as memories flashed before him like a movie.
“I remember the first time I saw you. It was at a funeral of all places. Then I remember a fund raiser, you wore a pale blue gown and your hair was up and I remember thinking you looked like Grace Kelly and wishing I could nibble on that neck of yours.”
She blinked back tears as she looked up at him. Another round of fireworks exploded in the sky. Memories started flashing before his eyes like a movie. The first time he saw her at the food court, the day he saw her crying. He laughed thinking of her sitting under that stupid stuffed parrot and then when she moved in with him, the fireworks, the plants, the kittens and Sea World.
When there weren’t any memories left to remember he flashed forward, to a wedding, their first home, babies, anniversaries, celebrations, growing old together. Nothing in his life had ever felt more right then this moment with this woman. And he knew he didn’t need to be celibate anymore.
EPILOGUE
4 years later
“Mommy, Justin won’t stay in the doll carriage.”
Five year old Gabrielle stood indignantly—hands on her hips—as she explained to her mother the problem with her little brother. Frannie didn’t seem at all bothered by the problem and Gabrielle stamped her little foot and walked off in a huff. She was heard muttering on her way that Lilly’s mommy and daddy were much kinder, because they’d given Lilly a baby sister this time around and not a useless old brother.
West passed his daughter on the lawn as she strode off. He watched her go as he walked through the screen door into the kitchen, giving his wife a questioning look.
Frannie held up both hands helplessly. “She thinks we’re bad parents because we didn’t give her a little sister the way Matthew and Sasha gave Lilly.”
West hugged his wife from behind and nuzzled on her neck.
“Well, that’s because Matthew and Sasha seem to have confused themselves with rabbits. Did you happen to mention that Lilly has three brothers as well as her one sister? Or that the sister in question is only seven months old. Rachel won’t even be much fun for a few years. Maybe we could give Gabrielle a little sister by then.”
“Westly Dean. Are you trying to get me pregnant again?” She pulled from his arms and turned on him with much the same expression Gabrielle had just given her, right down to the hands on her hips and the stopping of a slightly bigger foot.
West reached out and pulled her close again. “Well, we could at least practice a little. Don't you think, Frances Louise?”
She giggled and turned her head giving him better access to her throat.
“Would you two cut it out? There are children present.” Sasha smiled as she stepped into the kitchen and picked up forks and napkins.
“I know. We’re discussing trying to add to their numbers.” West told her.
Frannie shot out of his arms and slapped him across the shoulder, then grabbed for the cake and followed Sasha to the table on the patio set up for the party, shooting her husband an I’ll get you later look over her shoulder. West popped a cherry tomato into his mouth. He certainly hoped so.
The guest of honor—six months pregnant—sat in her husband’s lap, looking happier than ever. She began making faces at her newest nephew, one-month-old Seldon, named after his grandfather, who sat a few feet away. His big brother, James, was off somewhere playing with his best friend in the whole world, Matthew and Sasha’s son Marcus. The two boys were both three years old and had been inseparable from the time they started walking.
Keely laughed hard at the precious faces her nephew was making, then rubbed her own pregnant belly. She’d been in counseling for three years and finally felt ready to start a family and was gratefully relieved when they had no trouble conceiving on their first try. She blushed slightly thinking about the odds with how much they’d tried. She and Nick had sailed for three months and did nothing but make love and be with one another.
“Are you happy, my love?” Nick’s voice broke into her thoughts as he whispered in her ear. The words went directly to her heart.
“More than you could know.” She turned to kiss him. “This isn’t how I expected to spend my thirtieth birthday.”
Gabrielle ran across the patio chasing Marcus and James, with little Justin in her wake, trying hard to keep up. She stopped for a moment to look at her father with disgust, little fists clenched at her sides. “I’m surrounded by boys!” She then continued her chase.
Four year old Ben, sitting in his father’s lap, took in Sarah’s predicament and looked up at his father. “Papa? Do you think I should go rescue Gabrielle?”
Matthew’s face betrayed his uncertainty about what to say to his son’s oh-so-serious expression. He didn’t get a chance anyway, because Ben continued with, “Mama says women like to be rescued.”
Sasha blushed. Keely giggled and spoke up, touching her husband’s face lightly. “You know what, Ben? I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty, they do indeed like to be rescued.” She kissed Nick tenderly as Ben continued sorting out his dilemma.
“Papa rescued mama, you know.”
Sasha reached over and ran her hand along his curls, then looked lovingly up at Matthew. “He sure did, sweetheart.”
Ben jumped down out of his father’s lap and straightened his shirt. “I’m going to save her.” He ran in the direction they’d gone. “Gabrielle!”
West groaned. “God, it’s started already.” He put a hand over his face, but Frannie and Sasha were beaming. Frannie winked at Sasha and leaned against her husband. “She could do worse you know.”
West looked at her askance then at Matthew. “Okay, fine. But I’m gonna sic Justin on Rachel and then see how you feel.”
When the laughter died down, Keely asked, “Where’s Lilly? Usually she and Gabrielle are like Marcus and James.”
Sasha tucked long dark strands of hair behind one ear and crossed her legs. “I know, but Lilly was so excited about your party last night, she barely slept. She fell asleep on your sofa a half our ago, curled up with your cats.”
“Ah. Sophie’s a cuddler, too, she’ll be loving it.”
It all seemed clear now. It also explained why she hadn’t seen the cats for a while. She’d been having a dickens of a time keeping Spud out of the cake earlier. She rubbed her stomach again, hardly believing Nick’s baby was inside there. She looked around her, family and friends, children. It wasn’t the quiet way she was expecting to spend her thirtieth birthday. She adjusted her view, looking over Nick’s shoulder, but she was at the beach.
Nick had bought them a house on the Chesapeake bay soon after their wedding and she found she loved the bay. Matthew and Sasha soon followed. Try as they might, they couldn’t get West and Frannie to make the move permanently, but they had a house nearby and they split their time between the bay and West Virginia where Frannie’s family lived.
Nick also made arrangements for Seldon, Clarissa and Guy to live in the area. Clarissa and Guy finally married in a ceremony last fall when she was four months pregnant with James and they couldn’t be happier.
Keely watched them now as her sister kissed him as he held their tiny bundle. Happiness was everywhere.
She stood up and held her hand out to Nick.
“Take a walk with me.”
He took her hand and followed her down the path to the shoreline, thankfully ignoring the immature cat calls from his so called friends as they snuck out. She imagined he hadn’t missed West’s comment, though.
“Just wait ‘til that baby’s born, there won’t be any spontaneous sneaking off then.”
Everyone else had laughed, even Keely, but she knew Nick felt like slapping him silly, because he often felt that way with West. They walked in silence, holding hands and simply enjoying each other’s presence. When they got to the water’s edge Keely slipped of her shoes and rested in Nick’s arms. He rubbed her belly, and their baby kick once or twice. He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer.
“Missing your mom?”
“Some, I guess. I have so much with you, and I truly am happy, but there’s just a...”
“Mom-shaped hole that I can’t fill.”
She laughed at his analogy. “The sad thing is, even my mom can’t fill it. That’s what I hang onto on the days I want so badly to call her. Some days I can’t stop thinking things would be different this time, because I’m different now, but deep down, I know it won’t be.”
She released a heavy sigh and her gaze wandered out over the water.
“All I ever wanted was for her to love me, but she won’t. Without love she’ll never be the mom I want, and she’s too disruptive for me to let her be who she is, so I’m just sort of stuck.”
They walked a while longer, then he took her in his arms and kissed her gently. “I love you so much, Keely. You know you’re going to be a great mom, right?”
She laughed as the wind whipped her wildly curly hair across her face.
“After watching Frannie, Sasha and Clarissa, and even your sister Serena, and your sisters-in-law all these years? Yeah, I’m going to be a great mom.”
Her face cupped in his tender hands, she looked longingly into his beautiful eyes. The love he felt for her was so evident there was no way she could think for even a second this man didn’t love her to the core of his being.
Anything She Wants Page 21