“What exactly do you mean by everything?”
“Come on, Brooke. You must have noticed that somewhere along this journey we’ve taken, you’ve come to mean more to me than your role as private tutor.”
She focused on her coffee cup. “I guess I suspected. But I didn’t know for sure.”
“Well, then, it’s time I eliminated all doubt. I’ve been following you around like a puppy for a month now. I hang on your every word. I make up excuses to see you.” He touched her hand with the tip of his index finger. “If that doesn’t tell you something, I don’t know what would.” He cleared his throat. “So will you answer the question? How do you feel about me and, more specifically, about you and me, because if you say you can never forgive me, that will be the worst consequence of my actions.”
“Oh, Jeremy.”
He smiled. “I’m sorry, Brooke. But that’s not an answer.”
“I know. I don’t have an answer. All I can tell you right now is that I foresee some changes at WJQC in the near future. You might not be the only one facing a major shake-up. It’s probably not a good time to think about our relationship.”
He knew what she was trying to tell him. She might be called into Milt’s office for not getting the new star to do his job. But Jeremy had confidence that Brooke could stand up to Milt and land on her feet. But the biggest shake-up was that he would have to start over again looking for a job. Maybe he wouldn’t find one as an anchor. Maybe he would have to follow so many other ex-jocks who went into sports broadcasting. Not that there was anything wrong with that. But he’d had his heart set on the news-anchor position. And he wondered if Brooke would be disappointed in him if he didn’t find an assignment.
He held her gaze. “I’m sorry, Brooke, but our relationship is about all I think of these days. I know we have obstacles to overcome. I live in the country. You like the city. I have two kids who are going through a lot right now.”
“How is Alicia?” she asked.
The question startled him. “She’s fine, I guess. Why do you ask?”
“No reason. I just think about her sometimes. I hope she’s adjusting.”
“I think she is. It’s just going to take more time. Everyone I’ve spoken to about it says we have to take each day as it comes and work with it.” With all that was going on, he knew he shouldn’t ask, but what he felt for Brooke was real.
“Speaking of days, tomorrow is Friday,” he said. “Will you go to dinner with me? Just as friends, if that’s the way you want it.”
She paused before giving him an answer. “Tomorrow may not be such a good idea,” she said. “We should wait and see what Milt decides.”
“What Milt does won’t affect how I feel about you, Brooke. And I hope it won’t affect how I hope you feel about me.”
“We both need to wait for shoes to fall, Jeremy,” she said. “I should get back.”
“Okay. I’ll walk you to the elevator.”
They left the coffee shop, and he pushed the button to call the elevator. When it arrived, he said, “Have you decided to at least try to forgive me for yesterday?”
She smiled. He felt the tension go out of his shoulders. “It’s more important that you forgive yourself. Who am I to lay any more blame on your decision? We all have to live with the consequences of our actions.”
He smiled back at her. “I’m not sure that’s total forgiveness. But I’ll take it.”
He started to walk away, but she stopped him.
“Jeremy...”
“Yeah?”
“Tell Alicia I said hi, okay?”
“Sure.”
“I’d like to see her.”
“That can be arranged.”
She nodded. “Talk to you tomorrow.”
“I’ll count on it. But for now, I’m going home. I think this is the first of many days I’ll be able to spend quality time with my kids.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
JEREMY DID LEAVE the building, and by late afternoon, Brooke decided she could no longer avoid a conversation with Milt. She went to his office, and he immediately invited her in.
“So, Milt,” she began, “are you going to fire me?”
He gave her a serious stare. “What was your part in that debacle at city hall?”
“I might have been able to alter the course, I guess. I suppose I should have emphasized some important points regarding being a reporter to Jeremy.”
“You think?”
“But in all fairness, Milt, I was training him to be an anchor, the one who reports the news after it has been gathered by others on the staff. He had no idea what he would be facing yesterday. Meeting up with his mentor was completely unexpected.”
Milt folded his hands over his waistline. “I heard all that. Doesn’t excuse a thing, as I see it.”
“I understand that. And to be fair to Jeremy, I don’t think he’s looking for you to find an excuse. He did what he thought was right. Honestly, I can’t find much fault with that.”
“He let us all down, Brooke—me especially.”
It was time to move on. Brooke prepared herself for Milt’s response to her question. “Okay. I know where you stand, Milt. But where do I stand with regard to my job?”
“I’ll let you know Monday,” Milt said. “I have a lot to consider...whether I’ll give Jeremy another on-camera test, whether I’ll keep him on staff, though I don’t think I can. Channel Seven is promoting their broadcast for tonight saying they have hot news from city hall. You and I both know what they’ve got. The station manager called me this morning and told me not to miss tonight’s show. He ended with laughing about how he’d heard we blew a big story yesterday.”
She couldn’t argue. That was just the nature of the news industry. When one channel missed an opportunity, word traveled quickly and other news outlets quickly jumped at the chance to get the scoop.
She just wished Milt could see WJQC as a collection of people—good people who worked hard—and not as a reflection of his own ego. She knew he would find it difficult, if not impossible, to live down Jeremy’s performance yesterday.
Would firing Jeremy help Milt save face? Probably, but Brooke hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
“Okay, Milt,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Jeremy has sent word that he’s taking the day off,” Milt said. “Wise decision for him. I’ll talk to both of you on Monday.” He gave her a coy grin, the type she’d experienced in the past. He liked to keep people on their very uncomfortable toes, but he needed her and she knew it. “Don’t lose sleep over this,” he added.
She left his office believing she still had her job at the station she loved in the city she adored. But she couldn’t deny that something vital was missing.
That night Brooke called her sister. In as few words as possible, she described the last couple of days.
“Milt won’t fire you,” Camryn said. “Where would he find anyone half as qualified as you are?”
“That’s what I’m hoping,” Brooke said. “But the truth is, no one’s indispensable.”
“He may fire Jeremy, though.”
Brooke sighed. “Yes, he might.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Lousy. Jeremy has worked so hard. He’s not perfect, but I think he has what it takes to sit in that anchor chair. And he wants it, Cam. And I want it for him. The truly horrible thing is that what he did can be interpreted as a noble gesture. His heart was in the right place.”
“Obviously Milt doesn’t see it that way.”
“No.”
“What will you do if Jeremy is fired? Are you prepared to take a stand with WJQC in defense of a coworker?”
This was the first time Brooke had heard that scenario stated so bluntly. What would she do? She and Jeremy had grown close, but other than worki
ng at WJQC, Brooke had no options. She didn’t have a hefty bank account that would tide her over. What’s worse, she’d recently borrowed money from Jeremy. Brooke had bills and obligations and an investigator who kept asking for more.
“Stand up for Jeremy and give up my job? I don’t know, Cam. I wish I could say that I would.”
“Hmm...still,” Camryn mumbled. “Jeremy is more to you than just a coworker?”
“Well, sure. He’s a very good friend.”
“This is me, Brooke, the one person who knows you better than anyone in the world. The one person who won’t judge you no matter what you tell me. I’m not a mind reader, but I haven’t missed many clues the last few weeks. Jeremy Crockett is more than a project to you. I’ve been sitting back and waiting for you to admit your feelings for him. I didn’t want to pressure you, but even Reed has noticed how extrapositive I’ve been lately. Thinking of you falling in love...has put a huge smile on my face that won’t go away.”
Brooke choked back a sob. “Maybe I do love him. I think about him all the time. When I’m with him I’m relaxed and happy, and optimistic. Is that love?”
“It’s awful darn close,” Camryn said. “What about the physical stuff? The kissing? Holding hands, touching because you can’t not touch him?”
“It’s all part of it, Cammie. He’s the most wonderful... Well, you know.”
“I do. But you have to make up your mind. This is your life.”
“I can’t follow him out of WJQC in protest, Cam. What if it didn’t work out between us? He hasn’t asked me to commit to him. And he has kids, for heaven’s sake.”
Camryn chuckled. “How will you ever survive the terror of children, Brooke?”
“Don’t make fun of me,” Brooke said.
“I’m sorry, but I’ll bet that thoughts of Jeremy and his success at the station, and his kids, have made you almost forget about Edward. And for that I’m grateful.”
Brooke leaned back into her comfy sofa cushion. It was true.
“I still want to find him,” she said.
“Okay. But one thing at a time. I know you’ll do what’s right for you.”
Brooke heard a click on the phone line. Another call was coming in. She checked the digital screen. Jeremy. “I have to go,” she said. “I’m getting a call.”
“Okay. Keep me posted. I love you. Though I can’t imagine why.”
“Love you, too. And I can think of a thousand reasons why.”
Brooke ended the call with her sister and connected to Jeremy.
“Hello, Jeremy. What’s up? Where are you?”
“I’m home with the kids. As for what’s up, I just called to say I miss you.”
Brooke’s heart beat a crazy rhythm she’d never experienced before. She wished she could reach out and touch Jeremy, feel his cheek, lay her hand on his chest. “I miss you, too,” she said.
“But I’m not the only one, Brooke. I told Alicia what you said, and she asked me to call you to see if you could find some time to see each other. What’s going on?”
“Did she really? I was so worried she was angry with me for not coming to Hidden Oaks yesterday.
“I had spoken to Alicia the other night about her mother. I told her I’d be happy to talk to her again if she wanted to. I thought maybe she needed someone to confide in. Remember? You actually put that thought in my head. I’d like to help her if I can.”
“I would be so grateful if you could connect with her. I try, but there always seems to be this wall between us.”
“How about Saturday?” Brooke said the words before she’d actually thought about them. All she knew was that she felt an urgency to talk to Alicia, to try to find a way out of her grief and help her overcome it. Despite her doubts that she could do so, Brooke wanted to try.
“What do you have in mind?” Jeremy asked.
“Why don’t you come here, just the two of you? There is a hotel nearby that my niece loves. It has a hamburger specialty restaurant and an ice-cream parlor. Probably an ideal place for Alicia and me to talk.”
“You know, that’s a great idea. A day just for Alicia and me, and then Alicia and you. I’ll make plans for Cody to stay with Marta. I can only see one problem with the plan.”
“What’s that?”
“You didn’t leave time for you and me.”
“Maybe we can steal a moment or two.”
“Thanks for this, Brooke. I seem to connect with Cody on every level, but I’m lost with Ally. She needs a woman to talk to, and I’m so glad it’s you.”
“I’m happy to listen. See you here at about eleven if that works for you.”
“Okay. See you Saturday, Brooke.”
They disconnected. Brooke found the pamphlets she’d left on her nightstand and began reading more about childhood grief. Then she moved on to more details on various recommended websites. As she read, she realized it was necessary to have advice from the experts, but on Saturday she would basically be winging it. Even with a strong foundation of knowledge, she would be experiencing entirely new territory. Face-to-face with Alicia, one-on-one. She prayed she wouldn’t blow it.
* * *
JEREMY AND HIS daughter arrived just before eleven o’clock on a warm, sunny Saturday morning. Brooke wore a modest, light blue sundress and sandals. She’d fashioned her hair into a ponytail with a narrow blue ribbon. She wanted to look caring and welcoming but wasn’t sure if she’d achieved that. At any rate, she figured pantsuits were out.
Alicia looked adorable in capri pants and a halter top in a splashy floral print. Her sneakers were covered in pink sequins. Brooke commented right away on how cool they looked.
“See, Daddy, I told you Brooke would like them,” Alicia said.
“And you were right.” Jeremy gave Brooke a special smile over his daughter’s head. The smiled warmed her to her toes, as did Jeremy’s appearance in navy khaki pants and a white button-down shirt. His clothes fit so well, Brooke wondered if even his casual outfits were tailor-made. She doubted it. Jeremy wasn’t the type to want custom clothes in his closet.
“I must be the luckiest man in Charleston to be taking you two beautiful ladies out today,” he said.
Brooke wanted to kiss him. She saw the same desire in his eyes. “The hotel is within walking distance,” she said. “We’ll have time to see the indoor aquarium before lunch.”
The short walk to the hotel seemed filled with adventure to Alicia. She appeared to have taken on Brooke’s penchant for window-shopping, and the two women gazed at dresses in the stores and guessed at the price tags. Alicia was happy, and Brooke was encouraged. Maybe Alicia’s private time with Brooke wasn’t the only reason for her contentment today. Maybe it was special attention from her father. Whatever it was, it was working.
After a lunch of hamburgers and French fries, Brooke suggested she and Alicia go for ice cream.
“What will you do, Daddy?” Alicia asked her father.
Brooke held her breath. Maybe Alicia was uncomfortable leaving her father behind.
“I saw a large-screen TV in the lobby,” Jeremy said. “There’s a college football game on now, so don’t worry about me.”
“Not football again?” Alicia said.
“Now and always, cupcake. Get used to it.” He smiled at Brooke. “Have fun, you two. Come find me when you’re through with whatever it is you girls do on your own.”
Brooke found a table for two in the ice-cream parlor. She and Alicia ordered sundaes and waited for them to be delivered.
“This has been a fun day,” Alicia said. “I like it when it’s just me and Daddy.”
“I’m sure he does, too,” Brooke said. “And I’m happy that you’re having such a good time. To be honest, I wasn’t sure you’d accept my invitation today.”
Alicia gave her a totally serious pout. “I was mad at you for
not coming to our house when you said you would.”
“I know. I hope today has helped to make up for that. I had no idea I’d hurt your feelings.”
“I wanted to show you some pictures.” Alicia took her small purse from her lap and set it on the table. “I brought them today. Daddy said it would be okay.”
“I’d like to see them.”
Alicia took several photos from her bag and spread them across the table. “What do you think of Mommy?” she asked right away.
“The same thing I thought of her in the picture in your daddy’s office. Your mother was a beautiful lady.”
“I know.” Alicia held up one picture. “This is Mommy and me and Cody on Christmas. We all did the tree together.”
Brooke studied the shot. Her breathing became ragged. She and Camryn and their parents always did the tree together.
“And this is all of us in a pumpkin patch. Daddy was supposed to come but he had to play football. I used to get so mad at him when he couldn’t come to things.”
“But now you’re with him all the time,” Brooke said. “I don’t bet you are still so angry with him.”
Alicia looked down at the floor. “I was really mad that day I messed up the kitchen,” she said. “Cody and I really weren’t fixing food. We were throwing it all around.”
“I’m pretty sure your daddy figured that out,” Brooke said.
“I was mad, because of you. I thought if Daddy liked you, he wouldn’t care so much for me and Cody. I don’t want to think about Daddy not being with us.”
Brooke took her hand. “Oh, sweetie, you know that’s probably not going to happen. Yes, people have accidents and people die, and it’s very sad. But your daddy loves you both so much.”
“I know he does, now, but it was hard at first, leaving Colorado and coming here.”
“Sure it was, but you shouldn’t worry about losing your daddy. He brought you here to be with you all the time. He bought that nice house and hired Marta. He intends to keep you and Cody close and safe.”
“I know he’s trying,” Alicia said. “But I still miss Mommy.”
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