Righteous Lies (Book 1: Dancing Moon Ranch Series)
Page 19
"It's just that... I know you kind of love me—"
"What do you mean I kind of love you?"
"We both know why we got married," Grace said, "but I know it will take time for fondness to grow into something more."
"Is that all you feel for me, Grace? Fondness?"
"No, of course not," Grace said, "but we're not talking about me. We're talking about you."
"Honey, you're the mother of my son. You've made this house into a home. You make me happy. And I want to take care of you and Adam, and Marc if he becomes ours."
"I know all that," Grace said. "But that's part of the problem. You love me the way a man loves a woman who's good to his child. But I want you to love me the way a man loves a wife. The way I love you. For three years after Marc died, I thought about nothing but him. Every moment of every day he was on my mind. Almost as if his presence was around me. But when I met you things started to change. A day would go by when I didn't think about Marc at all. Then a couple more days. And then one day I realized I hadn't thought about him for a week. And now my thoughts of you are constant... things you say, the way you look, how you sometimes make me mad, but mostly how you make me happy. I loved Marc, but he's in my past and I just want you."
"Can we get in bed and talk about this?" Jack asked.
"Your bed?"
"No," Jack said. "Our bed. Where we'll be making all those babies you want."
"That's another thing. Do you really want that many?" Grace asked. "Six children are a lot of kids to raise."
"Honey, if you want six I can handle six. I could use some help around this place." Jack took her by the hand and led her into their bedroom, then slipped off the towel and tossed it aside. "And this has to go," he said to Grace, reaching for her gown.
"No! Not yet," Grace said. "I'm still wearing a pad and my stomach's stretched, and I don't want you to see me. In a few months I'll have my figure back and it'll be different."
"Honey, you just had my son. Of course your stomach's stretched. And I don't care about the pad. I want us to be flesh-to-flesh when we talk about whatever's bothering you. Now raise your arms and let's get this thing off."
After they were nestled in bed, Jack on his back with his arm around Grace, she snuggled up against his side with her hand on his belly, and after they'd talked about the boys, and even broached the subject of Susan with Marc the previous night, Grace became quiet, not knowing how to tell Jack what was really bothering her.
Sensing her reticence, Jack said, "Okay, tell me what the problem is, honey. Somehow I don't think we've hit on it yet."
"Alright then, it's Lauren," Grace said. "I hate to keep bringing her up, but I can't put out of my mind the way you looked at her the night she showed up on your doorstep. I can't forget the expression on your face. It's fixed in my mind and won't go away."
"Grace," Jack said. "Come here."
"Where?"
Jack patted his chest. "Up here. On top of me." He tugged her over until she lay on top of him, then took her face in his hands and kissed her long and hard, the kind of kiss she'd dreamed about, one that was deep and intense and filled with love. But when it was over, the expression she'd seen on Jack's face when he saw Lauren was still in her mind.
"Honey, I don't know what look you're talking about when Lauren arrived," Jack said, "but what was going on in my head was I was shocked I felt nothing. I admit, I wondered if I'd feel something if I ever saw her again. But everything changed the day I looked across the waiting room of the fertility clinic and saw you. And then you became part of my life, and I started falling in love with you. And when Lauren showed up, I felt nothing. I also realized then I never loved her. I thought I had before she killed Jackie. But now I know what true, deep love is. It's what I feel for you. You're the woman I want to look at every day of my life."
"But Lauren is so beautiful. In fact she's breath-taking."
"Honey, I'll take pretty over beautiful any day. But you're the only woman who takes my breath away. And you might have noticed, while you're laying on top of me, you're doing other things as well."
"Three more weeks and we can fix that the right way."
Jack moaned.
"Alright. Two then."
"Mrs. Hansen, we have the rest of our lives to fix things the right way. For now, I have no problem with you doing it the wrong way. Any milk left?"
Grace giggled. "You'll have to find out for yourself." And Jack did.
***
Justine, who was leaning against a post on the front porch of the house, said to Grace, who was sitting on the front steps, "So where is this new husband of yours?"
Grace looked off in the distance and saw Jack riding toward them, coming at a fast clip. "He should be here any minute," she said, then stood so Jack could see her.
As Jack drew near, Justine saw him coming, and said in an eager voice, "Man, you can have your nerds, Gracie. Where has this guy been hiding?"
"He lives here in the hills," Grace said, attempting to suppress the smile tugging at her lips. "He's quite good with horses."
"I suspect he's good with a lot of things," Justine mused. "You said you married a twin. Is this one of them?"
Jack was almost on top of them by now.
"Yes... the bigger of the two." Grace barely had time to say that when Jack pulled his horse to a skidding halt, swung out of the saddle, rushed up to her and swept her up in his arms and held her with his hands clasped below her butt, and hers around his neck. "Wait till you see the little mare I just got you, honey," he said in an excited voice, while looking at her. "She's old and settled and you'll have no trouble with her and—"
"Sweetheart," Grace cut in, realizing Jack hadn't noticed Justine standing on the porch. "My sister... Justine. She's here. You might want to put me down."
Jack peered around Grace, then set her down, and keeping his arm around Grace's waist, said to Justine, "Nice to have you here—" then to Grace "—she's chestnut with four white stockings and a little diamond on her forehead, and—"
"Jack! Justine just drove two hundred miles."
Jack glanced at Justine again, and nodded. "Oh... sure. You hungry?"
"I'm fine," Justine said. "You go right on with what you were saying."
"Oh, yeah... And honey?" Jack stopped then and looked at Grace.
The world around Grace seemed to vanish as she caught the expression on Jack's face as he looked down at her. Love. She saw it now. Pure love. And he was trying to tell her something... "Yes, sweetheart? You were saying...?"
He crooked a finger under her chin and raised it, and gave her a short sweet kiss that said more to her, as he smiled down at her with those dark, love-filled eyes, than the kind of kisses he gave her in bed during the heat of his passion, and said, "You look so pretty right now, honey. And happy. You must be glad to see your sister."
Grace glanced at Justine standing on the porch. "Well yes, I'm glad to see her too," she said. "Now, put your horse away, honey, and come show off your sons."
"Right." Jack kissed her again, this time a little sounder, then launched himself onto his horse and loped off to the stables.
Justine pursed her lips, but her eyes were bright with amusement. "Umm, you didn't quite describe him correctly, did you, Gracie?" she said, with irony.
"Actually, I didn't describe him at all if you remember," Grace replied. "You were the one who concluded he looked like a nerd with horn-rimmed glasses and a book under his arm." She laced her arm into Justine's elbow and led her into the house. "So, what do you think of him?" she asked, as they stepped inside.
Justine looked around, and smiled. "I see signs of Gracie all over this place," she said. "You've got the poor man hook, line and sinker."
"Just don't try to take him away," Grace warned her sister.
"Honey, I may be a lot of things," Justine said, "but a husband stealer is not one of them. Especially not your husband. Besides, I couldn't take that man away from you if I tried. He's totally hung up on
you. But then, guys always were once they met you. I'm the kind of girl who gets asked first to the prom. You're the kind they take home to Mama."
Grace saw the envy and the sadness on Justine's face, and for the first time in her life, she realized Justine might not have it all. At thirty, she still wasn't married. She'd been a cheerleader all through high school, and prom queen, and knew how to stop men dead in their tracks, and had always been the life of any party. But Justine was right. Men didn't take women like her home to Mama. But maybe one day Justine's prince would come along, a man who'd see beyond her beauty, and her flippant wit, and her superficial demeanor.
He'd also have to be a man stronger than her, who wasn't intimidated by her success and her high-powered career. Not an easy pair of male shoes to fill.
***
Six weeks later
While knitting a little wool hat for Marc, to match Adam's—same pattern in contrasting colors—Grace glanced at Jack, who was sitting beside her on the couch, his feet encased in red-wool socks. She knew the socks couldn't be comfortable—the heels were shaped like balloons, and the gusset was so long the socks wrinkled in the middle—but he wanted to please her.
"What time are they supposed to call," she asked.
"Around nine," Jack replied. "Sam said to put the phone on speaker since they want to talk to both of us." He put his arm around her and pulled her against him. "I love you, Grace," he said. "And whatever they've decided, Marc will still be here on the ranch."
"Why do you think it's about Marc? Why not Ricky?" Grace asked.
"Because Sam gave me an update yesterday, and there's not much more to add," Jack replied. "Last thing he said was the transplant was engrafting faster than expected and they'd be coming home next week. But you need to prepare for Susan wanting to take Marc back."
"I can't," Grace said. "Just having him on the ranch isn't enough. I want to be able to tuck both boys in bed at night, and when they're older, I want to see you reading stories to them before they go to bed, and taking them both on pony rides. We're a family now, a real family, and I can't imagine us without both our babies. Can you?"
Jack looked at her, long and thoughtfully, and said, "No. I can't. He's my little half pint. My little bright-eyed buddy. And Adam would miss him too."
"Except when he gets possessive when he's nursing and swats at his brother."
Jack laughed. "At least when my turn comes, I don't have to fight for a spigot. I get two of them all to myself, though there's not much left by then. But it's all good."
"Yes, very," Grace agreed, and felt her nipples pucker at the thought of Jack having his turn. "You said Greg called, but then you told me Sam and Susan would be calling right after, so I forgot to ask what Greg said. So, what's the latest?"
"That the clinic's ready to settle for half a million for each of us and all the medical bills for Ricky's cord blood transplant," Jack replied. "Sounds like a lot of money, but we don't know if Ricky will continue to improve, though it looks like he's on his way to a complete recovery."
"It's a miracle," Grace mused. "But if it hadn't been for a couple of mislabeled vials, Susan would have had Adam, and he wouldn't have been a match, and Ricky would be back on the bone marrow list. But most of all, I have you, and Adam." Her eyes filled with tears. "But I'll feel like I lost a part of my heart if we can't keep Marc. But if we can, I want to raise the boys as fraternal twins. I don't want Marc to think he isn't loved as much as Adam is, just because he's not our biological son."
"Then you're saying we shouldn't tell the boys... ever?"
"Savior babies have lots of psychological problems," Grace said. "I read all about it. One child lives because another was created only for that reason. Adam would have been that child if not for the sperm switch, but Adam got lucky and came to us. But it's a double blow for Marc because Susan got pregnant only to save Ricky, and even though Marc turned out to be a match against tremendous odds, Susan still didn't want him, so in Marc's mind he'd be a worthless human being from the start, which is why I want to raise the boys as fraternal twins so Marc would never know."
"So we'd be raising our sons under false pretenses," Jack said in a plodding voice.
"No, we'd be raising them as fraternal twins to protect them from the truth," Grace replied. "It's only through luck that Adam ended up with both his biological parents. Susan wouldn't have wanted him either if she'd had him instead of Marc. Withholding the truth would be for the welfare and peace of mind of our sons."
The hard line of Jack's mouth slacked off some. "What about Ricky? He'd be raised as an only child, never knowing he had a half-brother."
"A half-brother his mother didn't want," Grace said. "Besides, how could Ricky respect his mother knowing she gave away his brother?" Which she realized was the wrong approach as soon as she said the words.
"This isn't about Ricky respecting his mother," Jack said. "This is about Marc."
Grace's eyes filled with tears. "Yes, it is about Marc," she said, in a wavering voice. "His real father's dead, his real mother doesn't want him, and I don't want him growing up thinking he isn't a true member of our family and that he isn't loved every bit as much as Adam. Ricky will never know if we all agree to say nothing—" Grace's sentence was cut off when the phone rang.
Jack picked it up and punched the conference button so they could all talk. "Hey, how's it going?" he asked, knowing Sam was on the line.
"Fine. Ricky keeps getting stronger every day," Sam replied. "The doctors are amazed. He'll still need a lot of care and close observation, and testing for the next few years, but they think he's on his way to a complete recovery. But that's not why we called. Oh, and Susan's here too."
"Hi you two," Susan said. "How are the babies?"
Grace didn't like the sound of Susan's voice. It was way too happy. Like a mother anxious to get home to her baby. "They're fine," she replied.
Sam came on again. "This is kind of difficult," he started in.
Grace could not find her voice to speak, too choked with tears. Jack put his arm around her and pulled her to him. "It's okay, honey," he said in a hushed voice. "We'll get through this."
But Grace knew there was no way of getting through it if they planned to take Marc back. He was also Jack's little half-pint. And Adam's little nursing sparring partner...
"It's about the baby," Sam said. "It's just that... we've taken the apartment for another two months since the hospital here's better equipped to watch Ricky, and even after we're back home Susan will have her hands full with him, and after that he'll have to be watched for several years, and we know how much Grace wants her husband's baby, who would have been hers if not for the sperm mix-up, and we just thought maybe the two of you would consider—"
"Yes," Grace cut him off short, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. "We will."
"Adopt him?" Sam said. "That's what I was trying to say."
"Sam," Jack interjected. "We already consider Marc ours. So then, this is a go? Grace and I can adopt him?"
"We can't think of two better parents."
After they hung up, Grace said to Jack in a voice filled with resolve, "Please honey, let's raise them as fraternal twins. We can talk to Sam and Susan and make sure they'll go along with it, which I'm sure Susan will since she wouldn't want Marc or Ricky to know she gave Marc up because he was an inconvenience, which is pretty much what it is." She briefly considered Jack's concern that Ricky would be denied knowing he had a half-brother, and she could never tell little Marc about his biological father, but Marc was in her past now, and Jack would be a wonderful father to both boys, and as fraternal twins, they'd feel equally loved. And Ricky, who had always been the focus of his parents’ life, would continue to be their focus...
When Jack said nothing, just continued looking at her soberly, she put her arms around his neck, looked up at him, and said, "Sweetheart, I know this is the right thing to do."
The look on Jack's face softened, and instead of arguing, he kisse
d her long and hard, and said, "Alright, honey. Fraternal twins they are."
Grace kissed him back, a series of kisses that started on his lips and made their way down his neck, and said, "Now that we have two sons, can we start on the rest of our family?"
"You want another baby... now?" Jack asked.
"I didn't say that. I said I want to start... as in proving the survey wrong again."
Jack's mouth curved in a wry smile. "Yeah, I'm ready to prove it wrong again."
As they were heading for the bedroom, Grace said, "And no, I haven't been faking the multiples. That survey was waaay waaay wrong! Just keep doing it the way you've been and I'll have a smile on my face forever. Multiple smiles."
Jack patted Grace on the fanny. "Gotta keep those smiles coming."
###
Thank You!
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STORY DESCRIPTION: A woman who slept her way up the corporate ladder and who's never hugged a child in her life. A best-selling author with post traumatic stress who finds himself suddenly a father to a child he never knew existed. A little girl who wants only one thing for Christmas... for Santa to bring Mommy back from Heaven. A story about the power of love to mend three broken people...