by Naomi Niles
Mom showed back up with two new kids when I was about eight and Sarah was ten. My father didn’t say much, he never did, but he let us see her. Sarah told her off. She was always wise for her years, and she told our mother that day that anyone can make a baby. Just because she made babies, that didn’t make her a mother. She’d stormed out of the house after that and gone to look for my dad. I stayed for a while because I felt guilty, but the woman felt like a stranger to me and the next time she wanted to see us, Sarah and I both refused.
“It’s okay, Dad,” or as he probably heard it, “I okay.”
He handed me my ball cap and I gratefully put it on. Covering up the staples on my head at least makes me feel more human. “Kyle!” Dad and I looked at each other, and his lips curled up on the edges. Sarah was here to take me to therapy – that would be fun. Mostly, I just felt sorry for the people who worked in the clinic.
“In here,” Dad called out to her. She looked frantic when she came in.
“Kimber is sick.” Kimber was my five-year-old niece. She was one of those kids that manage to completely melt your heart every time she smiles. They hadn’t let me see her since I got home and I really missed her.
“What’s wrong?” Dad asked.
“It’s just the flu, I think, but I had to keep her home from school. Mrs. Brown from next door is watching her now, but she can’t stay. I called Michael, but he’s out at the jobsite and he’s stretched really thin without you…”
“It’s okay,” I told her. I said it really slowly and it almost sounded natural.
While I was busy being proud of myself she said, “Greg is taking you.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, Kyle, but he’s been really sweet. He was at your bedside every day. He’s been doing whatever he can to help. He loves you… Tell him, Dad.”
My poor dad once again looked like he didn’t want to get involved. Instead of singing Greg’s praises to me he said, “I can call off work.” Shit! I knew he didn’t want to do that. It was bad enough he had me living here and had to do every fucking thing for me. He needed work for his own peace of mind.
“No,” I forced out.
“I’m sorry, Kyle,” Sarah said again. I rolled my eyes at her. I know it’s not her fault, but the last person I wanted to spend my day with was Greg.
“Anybody home?” Speaking of…he just let himself in my father’s front door like maybe he still belongs here.
“We’re in here, Greg,” my traitor sister told him. She kissed my forehead and whispered, “Be good.” Then, I watched as she gave my father a peck and even stopped in the doorway and kissed Greg on the cheek. What is it with this guy and the women in my life?
“Hey, buddy! You look great!” Fuck you. I said it in my head, but hopefully the look on my face conveyed the sentiment. “Mr. Cloud,” he said, giving my dad a chin tilt. Dad was like me – he knew how to hold a grudge. He kept his dark eyes on Greg’s face until Greg finally had to turn away. Thanks, Dad.
“I’ll see you tonight, Kyle. I left lunch in the microwave, and I’ll pick something up for dinner when I get off.” I can make it around the house in my wheelchair pretty well so that was my saving grace in the afternoons – they let me actually stay home alone like a grown-up.
“Thanks, Dad.”
Once he was gone, I was left alone with Greg. “So, are you ready?”
I nodded, and he started to grab the handles of the chair. I used my arms and rolled myself through the bedroom door and across the living room. He rushed up ahead of me and opened the front door. I wheeled out and down the sidewalk towards his car. When I got there, unfortunately, there was nothing else I could do but wait and let him help me. He opened the door, put his arms under mine, and helped me get to my feet. Then, he pivoted me so that I could lower down into the seat of his new Mustang. Sarah must have given him lessons. If I weren’t still pissed at him, I’d be impressed.
Thankfully, he didn’t try to talk to me on the way to the clinic. He helped me out again when we got there and because we had to cross a busy street, I had to let him push me. He rolled me in and took it upon himself to tell the girl at the desk my name. I guess that was a good thing since she probably wouldn’t understand me, but once again, it still pissed me off.
While we waited, I looked around the lobby. Most of the people there were elderly. There was one kid who was maybe fourteen there with his parents. He was in a wheelchair and he had some kind of tube coming out of his stomach and attached to an IV pole on the back of the chair. I averted my eyes when he saw me looking.
That’s when the door opened and Amber stepped out. Today, she was wearing a pair of green scrubs and the color made her green eyes pop. Her dark hair looked soft and shiny laying down across her shoulders. I wanted to run my fingers through it. She saw me, smiled, and then her smile faltered when she looked next to me at Greg. I looked at him and he was grinning. Of course.
“Hi, Kyle,” she said. “Are you ready?”
I nodded and felt Greg jump up and grab hold of the chair. Amber gave him a look of…annoyance, maybe? Maybe I just wanted her to be annoyed with him. It made me happy. “I can take him back, Greg, thank you.”
Greg? How does she know his name? I felt her propel me through the door and into a big room that looked like a gym. She parked me at a table and then she came around front where I could see her. Damn, she’s pretty. She reached down and brought up a wipe-off board with those magnetic alphabet letters that everyone spells things on their refrigerators with when they’re kids. “We’re going to start with some sounds,” she said. I had to tear my eyes away from her green ones and force myself to focus on the board. This wasn’t going to be easy.
*******
Amber led me through sounds and she even touched my throat a few times to feel my vocal cords as I tried hard to enunciate them. Part of me felt like an idiot and hated that a woman like her was seeing me like this and the other part felt lucky as hell that I’d get to spend three days a week with her. She smiled a lot and she was encouraging – and even in a shapeless pair of scrubs it was easy for me to see how cute and curvy she was. When we finished with that, we moved on to bigger things. She used a children’s book and had me reading passages of it out loud. Things like, There’s a Wocket in my Pocket. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more humiliating, I did in fact have a “wocket” in the front of my pants. Thank God for the table.
After a few books, she announced that was it for today. “I’m not going to walk?” I waited and hoped she understood me. She did.
“Not today,” she told me with an empathetic look. “We’re going to give you another week and see how much of your strength comes back before we start pushing you too hard. We’ll work on speech this week.” I nodded and looked forward to the day when I got to lean on her body as she helped me walk. She stood up and went around behind my chair. After taking the brakes off, she pushed me over to the door of the lobby. “You have it from here?” she came around in front of me and asked.
I nodded again. “Thanks.”
She smiled. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you on Wednesday.” She pushed the door open and held it while I went through. I got a whiff of her perfume as I rolled by…damn she smells good enough to eat. I could see Greg’s face, and his eyes were on my therapist. I’ll be damned if he was going to have this one. I used my arms to do a little wheelie in the chair and then I spun it around so I would be facing her. She was gone.
“Nice, man,” I heard Greg say. “You want to get some lunch?”
Chapter Four
AMBER
Dylan was loading his tack in the beaten up and rusted trailer as I drove into the driveway. He hadn’t mentioned leaving again so soon, but that was nothing new. Dylan did what he wanted when and with whom he wanted.
“Where are you going?” I asked as I walked by on my way to the house. I honestly didn’t care. I spent most of my time wishing that he would find his soulmate on the road and never com
e back. But as long as we were together, I thought I should at least try and be civil.
He looked out at me from the back of the trailer. I remember when there was nothing or no one that I’d rather look at. I used to think he was so handsome. Nowadays, I was usually so disgusted with him that it was hard to see beyond that. He smiled and for a fraction of a second, I almost remembered. Then he opened his mouth.
“Headed up to South Carolina… You shouldn’t wear that color.”
I looked down at my green scrubs. I knew better than to engage him, but sometimes he caught me off guard. “Why not?”
He ran his hazel eyes over me and said, “It’s too bright, I think. It calls attention to those thunder thighs…or maybe you’re just putting on weight again.” With a disgusted sigh, I continued towards the house. I could hear him calling after me, “Aw, come on, baby, don’t be like that. If I didn’t tell you, who would?” I slammed the screen door as I went inside and nearly tripped over a pair of his boots. I picked them up and threw them across the living room that was littered with his dirty dishes and clothes. Fucker!
By the time Dylan came inside, I’d had a long soak in the tub and straightened up the house. I was just about to put dinner on when I felt him step up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his hands on my waist. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered into my ear. “You know sometimes I just don’t think before I say stupid things.” I twisted out of his grasp.
“It’s fine, Dylan. Do you want biscuits for dinner?”
“I ain’t gonna be here for dinner, baby. I need to get on the road.”
I was facing away from him, thank God. I’m sure a look of relief washed over my face. At least, I wouldn’t have to pretend to be sleeping tonight to get out of having sex. I heard him open the refrigerator and turned around just as he was popping the top on a Coors Light. He took a long swig and then held it out towards me. “You want one?”
“No.” I went back over to the stove and started putting the bacon I was frying in the pan.
Suddenly, I felt him slap my ass and the next brilliant comment out of his mouth was, “You might want to take it easy on the pork, baby.” I faced the stove until I heard him leave the room.
He left about a half an hour later, telling me he’d be back sometime late in the week. I said my prayer once again that he’d meet Miss Right at the rodeo, and then I sat in front of the television and ate the entire plate of bacon and two huge biscuits. I was so stuffed and miserable that I could hardly move afterwards, but it gave me a sick kind of pleasure knowing I’d somehow defied him.
As I was washing dishes, my sister Marlene called. I have three of them – all older. They all hate Dylan, and they all think I’m still twelve years old. “Hey, Marlene, what’s up?”
“Can you do me a huge favor on Thursday?”
“I will try.”
“Can you pick Nona up from school?” Nona is my six-year-old niece.
“Um…I have to work…”
She sounded like she was going to cry. “Okay, then, I’ll see what else I can figure out-”
“No, wait, I can change the schedule around. What’s wrong?”
“Jackson’s stupid lawyer called a mandatory custody meeting. I feel like I’m having a heart attack every time I think about losing her, Sissy!” My sisters all call me Sissy. It started when I was born and the rest of the family picked it up. Even my nieces and nephews call me “Aunt Sissy.”
“Oh, Marlene, honey, I’m sorry. I really don’t see any reason for that to happen, though.”
“Jackson has the money. The judge is going to look at the paltry salary I make and-”
“And add in the alimony and child support and the fact that even broke you’d be a fabulous mother. Try not to get yourself too worked up, honey, okay?”
“I’m trying. I need a distraction, I think. Maybe while Jackson has Nona this weekend you and I can do something?”
I groaned inwardly. I love my sister, but I hate going out with her. She’ll bitch about Jackson all night, get drunk, and try and go home with some slimy cowboy. Then, she and I will argue and she won’t speak to me for two weeks. It happens every time. “I think Dylan will be home,” I said, using my ace in the hole. She despises Dylan. “I could see if he wants to go with-”
“Never mind. You know where to pick Nona up, right?”
I smiled. “Yeah, should I just keep her for dinner?”
“Yes, please. I’ll pick her up in time for her bath and bedtime. I have to drive all the way to Fort Worth for the meeting.”
“Okay, good luck.”
“Thanks, Sissy. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
*******
I woke up happy the next two days. One reason was because Dylan wasn’t home…and as bad as I hate to admit it, the other reason was because I knew I got to see Kyle again on Wednesday. Wednesday morning, I took a ridiculous amount of time picking out my scrubs. I stayed away from any of the green ones because asshole or not, what Dylan said had stuck in my head. I finally settled on a dark blue pair that I hoped made my ass not look so big. I left my hair down and curled it and shamelessly, I wore a little bit more make-up than usual.
As I walked into the clinic, I hoped no one I worked with noticed. But as my luck would have it, the first thing my co-worker Joyce said was, “Damn, girl, you look hot today! You have a date?”
I felt myself blush. “No…But thank you.”
She made a mm, hmm noise and I blushed again as I went to put my things away. I came back out and started to work right away. My first two clients were elderly folks with hip replacements, and we just did some basic physical therapy exercises. I was at the front desk filling out some paperwork when I saw Kyle coming through the door. He had a ball cap on again, so I couldn’t see his face until he looked up. When he did, his brown eyes immediately locked onto mine and my breath caught in my throat. Jesus, even with staples in his head, this guy is hot. My heart sped up when he smiled. I smiled back and turned away. Joyce was looking at me, and it was her turn to smile. I narrowed my eyes at her, and she laughed.
“I’ll be in the back for a few,” I told the receptionist.
As I was headed past Joyce she said, “Have to go cool off, huh?”
I gave her a nasty look and kept going. She was right, though. I had to get my own vital signs to calm down before I could see my patient. This had never happened to me before. Kyle was not the first good-looking guy to roll in here. I’ve always been able to maintain a level of cool professionalism and I’d never thought about them when I went home. Since Monday, Kyle pretty much took up residence in my thoughts. I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me, but this was not okay on any level. I had a boyfriend and an obligation to be a respectable member of the medical community.
I went into the bathroom and wiped off my lipstick. I ran my fingers through my hair to try and get the curls out, but that just gave it kind of a messy, bedroom look. With a frustrated sigh I gave up and went out to get him.
*******
It turned out that dissuading his sister from coming into the back was a lot harder than it had been with Greg. Sarah was not going to be left out of her brother’s care in any way. It was sweet and annoying at the same time. Kyle seemed embarrassed by it and being the baby of my family, I could definitely feel his pain. Today, we did flash cards with simple words that would exercise his tongue and lips. He has pretty lips. They were full and pink, but not feminine at all. Sexy, that’s what they were. I tried not to stare at them, but then I remind myself that it’s my job to make sure he’s forming his words right. I have to consciously remind myself not to lick my own lips as I watch him.
“You want to take a break and have something to drink, Kyle?”
“Beer?” he asked with a grin.
I couldn’t help but smile when he smiled at me. God…he’s beautiful. “I think we’re fresh out of beer. How about water?”
He laughed, and his sister sa
id, “He’d love some water.” I went and got the water and when I brought it back, Sarah took it out of my hand and opened it before handing it to him. Once again, he looked annoyed, but he didn’t say anything.
“Sarah, while Kyle is taking his break, can you and I talk for a minute?”
She looked at me suspiciously, but followed me to the back office and we sat down. It was strange because they looked so much alike that they could almost be twins. They had the same heart shaped faces, full lips, and dark eyes. Sarah’s seemed a lot more intense than Kyle’s to me. Out of the two of them, I would be willing to bet he was the fun-loving one. “Is he doing okay?” she asked as soon as we were seated.
I smiled. “Yes, he’s doing just fine. This is only his second appointment, so we’re not looking for a miracle breakthrough just yet. But, with some hard work, six months from now you’ll hardly see any signs of what he went through.”
“Good. Then what’s wrong?”
“Well, the thing is…I think you do too much for him.”
The suspicious look turned into one of outright distrust. “What do you mean?”
“Opening his drink and insisting on sitting in on his session, for starters.”
“I’m supporting him,” she said. I could see a spark in her dark eyes.
“I know, and I think that’s great, really. It’s just that what we’re trying to do here is make him more independent, right? If we do everything for him, then he won’t re-learn to do those things for himself.”
Sarah wasn’t looking at me any longer. She was staring at a spot on the wall. She didn’t say anything for so long that I almost thought she wasn’t going to. At last, she said, “I was so scared.”
“When they found the tumor?”
She nodded. “Our mom left us when we were babies. My dad did his best, but he had to work to keep a roof over our heads and everything that comes with that. Kyle and I are really close because of all of that I always felt like his mom instead of his sister.”
“Well, I think you did a great job, but with that being said, as hard as it is to watch someone you love struggle, in this case it’s actually part of his therapy.”