“I did not wear a bikini. And it was dark that night at my house. Broad daylight is different.” She reached for the wet suit he held in his hand. “Give that to me and turn around. I don’t need you watching while I encase myself like a sausage.”
“The water’s not bad today,” he said with a laugh, holding out his arms wide. “You won’t need that.”
“Easy for you to say.” Noah wore a pair of low-slung board shorts, Keen sandals and a T-shirt with the Colorado state flag on the front. He looked like a high-mountain surf bum. Cold air and water had never bothered him, and his work for the Forest Service only seemed to make him more impervious to the elements.
He frowned as he studied her. “You’re already shivering. It must be close to ninety degrees today. What’s going on?”
“Nerves.” She squeezed the edges of the towel tighter. “My teeth are chattering.”
Noah took a step closer to her, placing his palms over the tops of her arms, his skin warm against hers. “You don’t have to do this. If Matt or any other guy cares that you don’t like boating or swimming, they’re not worth it. This is who you are.”
She shook her head. “It’s not who I want to be. It probably seems like nothing because you aren’t afraid of anything. But I’m sick of being scared and living life on the sidelines.”
He bent until they were at eye level and flipped his sunglasses off his head, his brilliant blue eyes intense. “There are plenty of things I’m afraid of, and you don’t live life on the sidelines. Not being the adrenaline junkies your parents are doesn’t make you less of a person, Katie-bug. You have friends who care about you, a thriving business, and you’re an important part of this community.”
“Because I have no life so I’m always available,” she muttered, although she had to admit his words soothed her a bit.
“Will boating on the Fourth of July give you a life?”
“The start of one, maybe.” She shook her head. “Matt knew my parents out in California—that’s where he went to college and he trained with my dad for an Ironman a few years ago.”
“I thought Logan and Olivia introduced you.”
“They did. My parents told Matt we wouldn’t have much in common since I’m such a homebody.” She tried to make her voice light. “My own parents think I’m a homebody.”
Noah’s eyes narrowed. “Your parents are wrong.”
“I’d like to prove to myself that I’m more than who they think I am.”
He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. “I’ll wait for you down by the boat. We’re going swimming today.”
As he turned away, Katie placed the towel on top of his truck and squeezed into the wet suit. The thick black material covered the entire upper half of her body but cut off at midthigh. Zipping it up, Katie glanced at her reflection in the passenger-side window then groaned. She looked like a cross between a rubber inner tube and a baby seal. The wet suit fit like a second skin, and while it was more coverage than her bathing suit, it still showed more of her figure than she was used to.
It was good she was doing this with Noah before she went boating with Matt and his friends. She could boost her confidence not only in the water but out of it. She made her way down to the dock and forced herself to lower the towel to her side as Noah looked up. The wet suit might be tight, but it was basically modest. She had nothing to be embarrassed about in front of him.
Nothing at all, she realized as his eyes widened in appreciation at her approach. “Damn,” he said when she hopped onto the dock. “I’ve never seen anyone make a wet suit look sexy.”
She waved away his compliment, but butterflies zipped across her belly at his words.
“Seriously, Katie.” He helped her step into the boat. “Sexy. As. Hell.”
“Stop.” She placed the tips of her fingers in his and jumped onto one of the captain’s chairs near the front then down onto the floor. Noah gave her a tug, and she landed against his chest as his arms came around her. “Just friends, Noah.”
His smile was teasing. “There are many types of friends.”
“We’re the type who don’t call each other sexy,” she answered but didn’t pull away.
He placed his mouth against her ear. “If you say so.” His breath tickled the sensitive skin. “Still nervous?”
She heard the smile in his voice and moved away, lowering herself into one of the leather chairs. “I’m in a boat,” she whispered. “On a lake.”
“A reservoir, to be specific.”
“I’m going swimming, and you’re trying to distract me so I won’t be so scared.”
He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Is it working?”
“I’m not cold. That’s a start.”
He took the seat behind the steering wheel and reached past her to open the glove compartment. He took out a faded baseball cap. “Put this on and tighten it.”
“Won’t it blow off?”
It was one of his favorites and it felt strangely intimate to adjust it on her head.
“Should be fine and it’ll keep your hair from tangling in the wind.”
“You have a lot of experience with the long-hair issue on the water?”
Without answering, he leaned over the side of the boat to unfasten the rope looped on one of the dock’s pillars. A minute later he’d motored them away from the shore and toward the mountains rising up on the far side of the water. The reservoir was calm, almost placid, and they passed only a couple of smaller fishing boats with old men casting from the sides. Over the holiday weekend, the state park would be crowded with tents and RVs in the campground on the high ridge. Over a dozen boats would dot the water, with people tubing, water-skiing and wakeboarding along the waves.
Colorado might be a landlocked state, but enough outdoor enthusiasts lived in and near the mountains to make the best of the sprinkling of man-made lakes and reservoirs throughout the high country. As popular as these areas were during the summer, Katie had managed to avoid going out on the water since she’d had her bad experience as a girl. To call it a near drowning might be exaggerating, but it had felt that way to her.
Her fear of open water was irrational, but until now she’d had no reason to confront it. She concentrated on breathing as the boat sped across the water.
Noah’s hand landed on hers a moment later, and he tried to pry her fingers loose from the seat. “You’re safe,” he called over the hum of the motor.
She shrugged out of his grasp. “You should keep both hands on the steering wheel,” she yelled back. “And eyes on the road. I mean the water.”
He laughed, his voice carrying over the noise.
She recited the ingredients for favorite recipes in her head, focusing on the familiar to distract her from how far away the dock was now. She knew Hidden Canyon Reservoir was nearly seven miles long, making it one of the larger bodies of water in the state. It wasn’t as wide as Lake Dillon in nearby Summit County, a fact that comforted her a bit. She could see from edge to edge, and she watched cars drive along the state highway that bordered the park, counting the seconds between them as she tried not to hyperventilate.
After what seemed like an eternity, Noah slowed the boat and she could hear waves slapping against the aluminum side. Aluminum. Ugh. She was basically floating in a soda-pop can. The thought did not reassure her.
“We’re in the middle,” she said, her breath hitching. “How deep is it here?”
Noah checked the depth finder mounted near the boat’s dashboard. “About eighty-five feet.”
Katie swallowed.
“Water temperature is seventy-two degrees. That’s like a hot tub for this time of year.”
“What are those things?” She pointed to the black dots moving across the square screen.
“Fish. It tells you their depth so yo
u know how to set the down riggers. Josh mainly uses the boat to take groups of guests fishing.” He glanced at her then grinned. “The big schools of trout stick to the ten-to twelve-foot range. They won’t be nibbling your toes, if that has you worried.”
Katie dug her fingernails deeper into the seat cushion. “Everything has me worried.” She straightened her shoulders and stood. “If I’m going to do this...” She began to step onto the side of the boat.
“Hold up, Little Mermaid.” Noah grabbed her around the waist. “Don’t dive in quite yet. This isn’t the swimming lesson I had in mind.”
Katie frowned. “Then why are we here?”
He killed the engine. “I want you to have a chance to get used to the water.”
“I’d like to get this over with and get the heck off the water.”
“Do you know anything about Hidden Valley?”
“It’s big and black and terrifies me?”
He swiveled her chair until she faced him. “The Hidden Valley dam was one of the first to be built in this area, back in the early 1940s, under the Roosevelt administration. There’s a hydroelectric power plant at the base of the dam that, along with some of the other facilities in the area, provides electricity for almost fifty thousand homes. So it’s more than just a recreation area.”
“Why do you know so much?”
He shrugged. “Colorado history interests me, especially how the areas that are surrounded by national forest were developed. People think of it as just another body of water, but there’s more to it than that.”
“My dad used to come up here after a big storm, when the water was choppy, to swim. It was the closest he could get to conditions in the ocean when he was training for the Ironman.”
“But a ton colder.”
“He liked that,” she answered. “Thought it made him stronger. Wanted it to make me stronger.”
“Is this where you had the bad experience?”
“No. My freak-out was in Lake Dillon. It was the summer they decided I was getting too fat and needed to train for a junior triathlon. I was twelve, and I’d developed early, you know?”
His eyes stayed on her face. “I can imagine,” he said gently.
“My mom always had a boyish figure, ninety pounds soaking wet. I was a mutant Amazon compared to her and my dad.” She tried to smile. “It’s not good when the preteen daughter wears a bigger jeans size than her father.”
“You’re a woman,” Noah argued. “You’re supposed to have curves.”
“The only curves my dad approved of were muscles. I didn’t have those.” She shrugged. “They were helping organize the event, and I’d been swimming and running and biking all summer long. I wanted to make them proud. But I’d only trained at the high school pool. I didn’t realize how different open water would be. There were so many kids, all of them more prepared and in shape than me. When the race bell sounded, my group ran for the water. But as soon as I dived in, I freaked out. I had goggles but couldn’t see in front of me. Other kids were swimming into me, over me. I kept going. I could hear my dad shouting from the shore and I wanted to finish. But the farther I swam, the more fear took over. I tried to stand and catch my breath, but I was out too far and I couldn’t touch. Then the next wave of swimmers came and there were too many kids around me. I couldn’t keep going.”
She looked into the black water and the scene came back to her again. Panic rose in her chest at the memories of trying to lift her head and being knocked to the side. Taking in big gulps of water that left her choking and struggling to tread water. She realized she was almost hyperventilating when Noah placed his hands on her knees. “Breathe, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I promise I’m going to take care of you today.”
“I had to signal for the rescue dinghy. They hauled me onto it—it took two men to lift me out of the water. I threw up into the bottom of the boat. It felt like everyone was disappointed. I had to watch the rest of the swimmers before they brought me to shore.” She shook her head. “My dad couldn’t look at me. He was a world-class athlete and his daughter couldn’t even swim a quarter mile.”
“You panicked. It happens. Adrenaline can sometimes have a strange effect.”
“My dad got the opportunity to help establish the training center in California shortly after school started in the fall.” She picked at the skin on one of her fingers. “Mom suggested it would be better for me to stay with Gram.”
“I thought you chose to stay in Crimson.”
Katie saw the confusion on his face. Of course that was what he thought; it was the way she’d told the story. “It was less embarrassing than saying my parents had ditched me here. Of course, Gram was wonderful. I loved living with her.” She leaned over toward the edge of the boat and dipped her fingers in the cool water. It was translucent in her hands, the shallow puddle in her palm as clear as if it had come from a faucet. Not scary at all.
“I remember you visited your parents during the summer and over winter break each year.”
Katie shrugged. “At first it was awkward. We all knew the reason they left me behind, but no one wanted to talk about it. Then I started baking for them—energy bars to use at the training center. My dad really got into it—he’s fascinated with the perfect fuel for the body. It’s the one thing that still keeps me connected to them.”
Noah looked toward the mountains. “Katie, you don’t—”
“I’m not going to let one incident from my childhood define me. That day in the water was a turning point for me, and not in a good way. I need to move past it, as silly as it might seem.”
“It doesn’t seem silly.” Noah’s voice was gruff. “Let’s go swimming.”
Chapter Eleven
She humbled him with her bravery.
Noah turned off the motor as the boat drifted toward the small inlet near the cliffs on the western side of the reservoir. As they neared the bank, he tugged his T-shirt over his head and jumped into the water, his shoes squishing in the sandy bottom. He pulled the boat close to a fallen tree and tied the rope to one of the dead branches.
“You can stand here.”
Katie stared at him for a moment before her brows shot down over her eyes. “This was a terrible idea. I can’t get in the water with you looking like that...” She flicked her fingers at him. “And I look like a sausage.” She smoothed her hands over the black material, and not for the first time, Noah wished he was touching her.
“You’re the cutest sausage I’ve ever seen.”
She snorted in response, making him grin. “I feel ridiculous.” She stood, arms crossed over her chest. “It’s stupid to be afraid of getting in water that’s only as high as my knees.”
“Don’t say that. Nothing about you is stupid.” He leaned down, splashed some of the cold lake water onto his chest and arms. He was overheated, and not only because of the warming temperature and sun beating down. Katie had weathered so much rejection from her parents, but she kept moving forward. He never would have guessed the full truth of why she’d lived with her grandma, and it made him feel like even more of a failure as a friend.
He couldn’t imagine being deserted by his parents—because that would have never happened in his family. Noah was the one who’d separated himself during his father’s illness, pulling away by degrees when the pain of staying became too intense.
Katie thought he had no fear, but that was far from the truth. He was afraid of everything that made him feel. He’d tried to insulate himself from the pain of possibly losing someone else he cared about. The fact that she trusted him gave him hope that he could change, that it wasn’t too late. For either of them.
“You’re stalling.” He motioned her forward. “Get in the water.”
She squeezed shut her eyes for a second. “I’m stalling,” she admitted and inched closer to the port side o
f the boat. Flipping one leg over, she balanced on the ledge. Her knuckles turned white as she clenched the metal edge.
“It’s shallow. You’re safe.” He wanted her to believe him, and not just in this moment. He may have failed in lots of areas, but he was determined to keep her safe. Not many people took Noah seriously and with good reason. Sure, he was good at his job and had plenty of responsibility with the Forest Service, but in none of his relationships with coworkers, friends or his family did people trust him with anything deeply emotional. Katie had, and it went a long way to fill some of the emptiness inside him.
He had lost time to make up for with her. Beginning now. He walked through the water and stopped at the side of the boat. His first impulse was to tease or splash her—something to lighten the mood and break through her nerves. But this was serious, and he wanted to respect that.
“Take my hand,” he told her instead. “I’ve got you.”
A knot of tension loosened in his chest when she placed her fingers in his. She hopped down, landing in the water with a splash.
“It’s cold,” she said, sucking in a breath.
“You’ll get used to it.”
She was gripping his fingers so tight he could see the tips turning bright pink. Katie holding him like a lifeline was the best sensation he’d had in ages.
“What now?” she asked, her body stiff.
“We walk out a little farther. Only as deep as you can handle.”
“I’m such a wimp,” she said with a groan.
“You’re doing this, Katie. That makes you a badass.”
She smiled. “I’ve never once been described as a bad anything.”
“Stick with me,” he assured her and was rewarded with a soft laugh.
A moment later the water was at her waist. She stopped and closed her eyes. He could almost see her steeling herself on the inside, fighting whatever demons were left over from that long-ago fear. The cold water lapped at his hips. A benefit, he thought, since the vulnerability in her expression was having the inconvenient reaction of turning him on. He had to get a hold on himself where Katie was concerned.
A Baby and a Betrothal Page 11