by LK Rigel
There was one other big change. It was like he’d had a personality transplant. He was nice. She never realized how not nice Bram was until this new guy showed up for comparison.
He was sitting on the veranda wall now, leaning against the stone pillar, reading a book. He waved as she drove in, his face alight with pleasure. He never used to be so happy to see her. She parked in the driveway and joined him on the veranda.
She wished she could forget that deep down he wanted to kill her.
He smiled. “How is your day so far?” His voice was deeper, or maybe it just seemed so because he was so much calmer these days. Happy to be alive. “Did you see your friends?”
“I did. Peekie and Bonnie both say hi.”
“That’s nice.”
He really didn’t remember who they were. “Bonnie wondered when you were going to finish writing your new book.”
“Oh, I don’t know. It doesn’t hold any interest for me now. I thought I might try something else. Something set in Pelican Chase before the war.”
“Which war?”
“Good point,” he said. “There have been so many.”
She might as well get this over with. She hopped up next to him on the wall and dangled her legs over the side. “I need to talk to you about something. I don’t want you to hear about it from someone else after you leave.”
He swung his legs over the wall and put the book down between them. She felt a twinge of anxiety. It was one of the leather-bound volumes from Aunt Amelia’s library. The collection had been started by Joss’s father, and many of the volumes were rare books and first editions.
“This was my mother’s book—favorite book,” he said.
“Jane Eyre,” Sara said. “I didn’t think you liked nineteenth century novels.”
“Sure I do. The later ones are better. The Portrait of a Lady, He Knew He Was Right. Middlemarch.But Jane Eyre has a perfection all its own,” he said. “I wanted to revisit Jane and Rochester. See if their connection was as powerful as my memory of it.”
“You’re so different now.” She looked away from him. This kind of talk was dangerous, made her want to ask him to stay. To start over. To try again.
“Do you really believe that?” He touched her hand, made her look at him. His gaze bored into her, as if her answer meant the world.
Of course she wanted to say yes. Of course she wanted it to be true. And it hit her. He’d become like Joss. He saw her now. She’d gotten so used to not being seen by people who supposedly loved her that she’d almost disappeared to herself.
Not being seen. It was like not existing. Her parents never saw her. They saw a mythical perfect daughter who never existed. Bram never saw her. He saw a wife he made up in his head.
Joss saw her, Sara, for who she was. When he looked at her, he saw her, and he wanted to know her better. Bram looked at her that way now. But would he stay like this or revert back to his old self?
She couldn’t risk it. She had to think of more than just herself now.
“I saw Dr. Kasaty this morning,” she said. “I’m going to have a baby.”
“That does it.”
He jumped down from the wall and went down on one knee. He took her hand in his and looked up imploringly. “Marry me, Sara,” he said. “For god’s sake, marry me.”
They both looked at her bare left ring finger. She’d removed her wedding band the morning after he tried to throw her down the stairs.
“You mean renew our vows?” She felt sick to her stomach, and not because of the baby. “I can’t. I just can’t.”
“Sara,” he said. “If you had known me only since I came home from the hospital, if I was a different person, if it was impossible that I could ever be that other man ever again, then would you marry me?”
Wait a minute. “You called me Sara.”
“I love you, Sara. I love you so much, I couldn’t leave you. I saw the light, Sara, and I turned away because you’re a brighter light. You’re the light of my heart, of my soul.”
She caressed his cheek. “You called me Sara.”
He turned her palm to his lips and kissed it. Her heart pounded, and she had to make herself breathe. “The flowers appear on the earth,” she said, “the time of singing has come, and…”
“… and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.” He completed the verse.
“Joss.”
“Yes. I’m Joss.”
She looked into his eyes, and she knew it was true. “But how?”
“It’s a jumble. I had resigned myself to the light. I swear. I didn’t fight it. But the bell rang, and suddenly I saw you. I felt your fear and loneliness. You said Bram was dead. And then I was in his hospital room. The nurses were disconnecting the monitors.”
“Good lord.”
“He was gone, Sara. Like Amelia and Eleanor, there was nothing. The next thing I knew, everything changed. I was looking at the world—at you—through these eyes.”
“What do you remember?”
“Everything.”
“Is Bram…”
“Bram is gone. I mean I remember everything of my life.”
“Everything.”
“I remember Olivia. I remember the war—which I could have done without. I even remember how I died.”
“Oh, Joss. They found your body. They said you were shot.”
“That’s right. One day I brought flowers to Daniel’s grave, and I had a feeling someone was watching me, but I saw no one at the cemetery. When I got home I felt restless so I went for a walk along the cliffs to think about what I was going to do with my life.”
“Not return to the vineyards?”
“I was never going to make a good farmer. Jeremiah Poole does far better with the vineyards than I ever will. Did, I mean. I keep forgetting that was over sixty years ago. I was happy to let him continue the lease. In fact, while on my walk I decided to sell him the vineyards as he’d long desired.”
“How ironic,” Sara said. “Gracien’s purchase will be final today or tomorrow.”
“You don’t know how ironic,” Joss said. “I was standing on the cliff, watching a ship go by on the horizon, when the same feeling came over me—that someone was watching me. I was right. Jeremiah Poole had followed me, and he was carrying a shotgun.”
“Gracien’s father?” Sara said. “But why would he kill you? Was it an accident?”
“He blamed me for Olivia’s death,” Joss said. “He was Daniel’s father, you see. Olivia’s lover when I was away during the war. The day she was killed, she’d gone to town to meet him. He told me he begged her to go with him right then and never look back. But she wouldn’t hear of it. She couldn’t bear the scandal. She was walking away from him when a car struck her down on Bird Way.”
“Oh, god.”
“Then Daniel died, and it was too much. He snapped. From his point of view, I had ruined his life. Destroyed everything he loved. I can’t say I blamed him.”
“Except for the part about him killing you.”
“Well, there was that.” A lop-sided half smile curled Joss’s lips. “It’s hard to resent a man for killing me when I didn’t stay dead…and when it meant ending up here with you. With my soul mate. I guess that bell saved my soul after all.”
“Joss, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I had to be sure. I wanted to know I could make you happy. I needed to know what you really wanted.”
She slipped off the wall and sat on his bent knee and melted into his enfolding arms. Sure it was a risk, but living was a risk. She believed him, and she believed in him, and he believed in her. Their bond was stronger than death, a rock they could build a life on.
Joss rose to his feet and held Sara at arm’s length, his hands warm and strong on her shoulders. His gaze was gentle and loving, but it was also full of desire. “So what is it, Sara?” he said. “What do you want?”
“I want you to kiss me,” she said. “Kiss me hello.”
-oOo-
/> From the author: I hope you’ve enjoyed Kiss Me Hello. If so, please consider leaving a review or telling your reading friends about it! Also, find out first when my new titles are published—sign up here for my newsletter.
I love to hear from readers! Feel free to email me at [email protected] with any comments. And visit http://www.lkrigel.com/ for more information.
About...
About the Author
L.K. RIGEL LIVES IN CALIFORNIA with her television-watching cat, Coleridge. (His favorite show is Castle, but he was enthralled by Game of Thrones.) Rigel wrote songs for the 90's band The Elements, scored the independent science fantasy karate movie Lucid Dreams, and was a reporter for the Sacramento Rock 'N Roll News. Her work has appeared in Literary Mama and Tattoo Highway.
Rigel writes the Apocalypto series which includes Space Junque, Spiderwork, Firebird (formerly titled Bleeder), and Copperhead (coming in 2012). Her Tethers series is about the wyrd and fae of Dumnos, an alternate Cornwall.
Her short story "Slurp" about an author with muse problems is included in Deadly Treats, Anne Frasier's Halloween anthology published by Nodin Press.
She loves to hear from her readers. You can reach her via email at [email protected] with any comments. And visit www.lkrigel.com for more information.
Other Books by L.K. Rigel
SFF Adventure, Dystopian, Post-Apocalyptic
Apocalypto Series
Space Junque
Spiderwork
Firebird
A World of Ghosts and Fire (TBA)
Copperhead (TBA)
Apocalypto (Omnibus Edition, Vol. 1 - 3)
Historical Romance
Love Was Never Wise
Fantasy Romance, Fairy Tales (for Grownups)
Tethers series
Give Me
Bride of Fae
War of the Wryds (TBA)
You can find these books at your favorite online bookseller!