His face blanched, and he reached for her. “Meda. Please.”
Like a shield, she held up her hands, backing away. Everything they’d been through in the past days meant nothing to him. But it would always mean everything to her.
“You know something?” Her tears spilled over. “I’ve fought with myself about what would be better, or worse about you and me. Forgetting? Or remembering. Now I think I know.” Sobbing, she turned her back on him and forced herself to walk to the van, each step a leaden eternity.
Nick met her halfway, with Dev hard on her heels. “Meda, you ride back to the network with Curtis.” He inclined his head at Dev. “We’ll be right behind you.”
CHAPTER 29
Terror leeching into the cracks of his soul, Dev watched Meda climb into the van alongside Curtis and drive off.
He’d lost her.
The look in her eyes haunted him. She’d frozen him out. Shut him down. He’d take a hundred Betrayers draining him to the fear icing his blood.
Watching the van drive away, he tried clearing the lump in his throat. Crossing his arms across his chest, he scowled at Nick. “She doesn’t understand. About the work we do.”
Nick scuffed the toe of his boot on the pavement. “Yeah? Seemed like she understands pretty good,” he said tightly.
“We don’t have time for this,” Dev snapped. “Let’s get out of here.”
“In a minute.” Nick’s mouth set in a hard line. “First you and I need to talk.”
“Nick. It works. The Flint works. I took the risk so you didn’t have to.”
“You were gone for hours. You put us at risk. You put yourself at risk.”
“I’m sorry for that. I saw it as the lesser of two evils.”
“Do you think that makes me feel better? I lost you once. You think I want to do that again? And let’s be honest. Maybe you did take the risk so we didn’t have to. But part of me knows you did it for revenge. And you know it too,” he shouted. “Because you were out to prove something, the way you’ve always been.”
Abruptly, Nick drew his fist back and punched him in the stomach.
Grunting, doubled over, Dev tackled him. They both fell to the pavement. Sweating, his breath heaving, Dev landed a hit squarely on his jaw.
Nick sat up slowly and spat blood, wiping his palms on his jeans. “I told you the first day, when you crossed realms. To come to me if you thought you might do something stupid. Didn’t I? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to lose you? You’re not just my cousin, or another Keeper. You’re my brother. And you come back and act like this.”
Standing, Nick stared at the underside of the bridge. “I made excuses for you before. When Haenus got to you. Tortured myself because I couldn’t save you.” He whirled on Dev. “Truth was, you never should’ve been there in the first place. You were lone wolfing it then, like you did today.”
Dev hung his head in shame. “I swore I’d repay you.”
“You owe me nothing. That’s not how it works. Did you ever think maybe you don’t have all the answers? That maybe, working as a team was a good thing?” Nick thrust his hands into his jeans pockets. “Don’t you realize what an amazing opportunity you have here? You died, and you’re here, in this realm, brought back by the Watchers. I thought death would’ve changed you. All your life, you’ve carried around what happened to you. At the salvage yard.”
He waved his arms. “Here, at this hell hole. And what happened to your parents, you used it as an excuse for everything that was wrong or went wrong. Well, what about everything right? Me, and my parents. Curtis. Fi. Did you ever think all that’s happened to you, led you to where you are?”
Dev raised his eyebrows. “You done?”
Nick huffed. “For now.”
“When did you become such a deep thinker?”
“Since Libby.” Nick clapped a hand on his shoulder. “You looked up to me because I saved you. The truth? I look up to you. You’re fearless.”
“Fearless?” Dev guffawed. “Is that what you think?” I’m scared all the time.
All his life, it seemed, he’d been scared he wasn’t good enough, scared to commit, scared of himself, of feeling too much. Of loving. Losing.
And today, he’d seen to it that fear had come true.
“Look at all that Meda’s done for us. For you. And this is how you repay her? And don’t even try telling me you don’t have feelings for her. Libby pegged that the minute you two got to Pittsburgh. Meda sees right through you. She knows you, the gods help her.”
“Yeah. And that scares me, more than anything.”
“We still have almost two days left.”
We. Just like that, he was forgiven. “Yeah.” Dev sighed, overwhelmed by the enormity of what they faced. “Let’s head back to the network.” They climbed onto the bike. “I have some ideas about the Betrayers spying on us at the warehouse, but I need Curtis’ expertise. If Meda will still talk to me, we need to see if we can figure out the final piece of this puzzle. Creating the Similitude. Abel’s going to try to cross realms, I’m sure of it. The other brood masters had Similitude. The Flint worked to weaken him, but for how long?”
“Curtis knew the energy in the network took a nosedive, since you took off this morning. It makes sense, knowing there’s more Similitude.” Nick waited a beat. “You could’ve known it too.”
Dev stewed in silence. Nick didn’t say it. He didn’t have to. That fact could’ve cost him his life.
Abel’s words rang in Dev’s ears. You’ll never be anything but a drain on your clan.
No. He would fix this. There was still time. He refused to believe otherwise. Suddenly, need overtook him; to prove to himself and the Watchers who’d sent him here that it hadn’t been for naught. “I have an idea.”
“Let’s hear it.” Nick’s phone rang. “Hold on a minute. It’s Curtis. Yeah.” He frowned. “What the hell? How? No. Okay. We’re leaving right now. Be back at the network in fifteen.”
Nick slid his phone into his jeans pocket, met Dev’s eyes.
Dread socked him in the stomach. “What is it?”
“It’s Meda. They stopped at a gas station, said she had to use the restroom. After five minutes, he asked the clerk to check on her.” He heaved a sigh. “She wasn’t there. And he found her Vitality stone on the seat of the van.”
CHAPTER 30
“Magpie!” Abel slammed open the hatch to the fallout shelter. Descending the ladder into the gloom, his voice reverberated off the walls. Damn Dev and his ever-potent Vitality energy, along with his Flint.
Macen and Ramsey had lent him enough energy to heal him, but it required time. Time he didn’t have.
“Abel.”
Her skirt rustled, a solitary sound in this ‘shelter,’ constructed by humans. Tomb was more like it. Clutching a lantern, she moved into view from the doorway of his office, just beyond the wall of plastic sheeting.
He advanced on her even as she retreated in a flurry of steps. He cornered her in the common area. She darted right, left like prey in a sprung trap.
Nowhere to hide.
The light cast shadows, but nothing could conceal her eyes, wild and blue as the sea he’d never seen.
She gulped. “Macen and Ramsey moved the others to another shelter. They told me you needed me. Are you hurt?” Shaking, she lifted a hand to his face.
He gripped Magpie’s wrist. His childhood friend. Meant only to scratch his itch. He refused to let her hurt the heart some said he didn’t have.
He yanked her roughly against him. “How long have you been lying to me?”
Tears choked her voice. “Abel, I can explain. Please.”
“I met with Dev. The Flint. It works. If it hadn’t been for Macen and Ramsey and their Similitude, he might have draine
d me.”
“We’ll figure out something. We can—”
“There is no ‘we,’” he interrupted savagely. “They have Haenus’ stone. And you’ve known for days.”
She whimpered. “How?”
“I sent along a backup, so I could double check your information.”
Her eyes filled. “Jordan.”
“She’s loyal. Unlike you.”
“She shouldn’t be out there,” she cried. “It’s going to kill her.”
“I wonder, what else have you been lying to me about? I see the way Kemp looks at you, the gods help him. You been bedding him too, behind my back? Like you’ve been listening at my door?”
Her stricken expression was all the admission of guilt he needed. For one or both of her sins.
“Abel, please. I love you. I’ve loved you since we were kids.”
Gods, he wanted to believe her. Desperately.
Never trust a woman. His father’s words rang in his ears.
He’d been right.
And Abel had been wrong. Wasn’t that what his father had told him, all his life?
“All I’ve ever wanted is to be by your side.” Struggling to free herself, she dropped the lantern. Light beamed across the ceiling, the walls, in odd angles. “You’re hurting me.”
Discipline was its own reward. Not emotion. Abel clung to that belief. “I’ve taken the liberty of obtaining all of your passwords. And turning over your duties to another bright, promising member of the brood.”
“Becca,” she guessed, her voice thin. “She can’t do what I can do.” Magpie shook her head over and over, as though the repetition would convince him somehow. “I shared my energy with you when you had none. When you were starving.”
The memory slapped him in the face, reviled him. “What else do you know you haven’t told me?” His voice rose to a feral pitch.
Planting both hands around the base of her throat, he squeezed. Lifted her off her feet, dimly aware when one of her boots came loose and fell to the ground. His muscles strained. Her feet kicked madly. Her eyes bulged, the shock and fear dimming their color.
Her arms stopped flailing.
Huffing, he released her. Limp, she fell to the floor. “I wasn’t supposed to love you!” he shouted at the walls. The concrete. To no one at all.
He’d become undisciplined. Let his guard down.
Never again.
Wiping the spittle from his mouth, he grabbed her by the ankles, one foot bare, the other still covered. Uncaring of any other injury he inflicted upon her body, he dragged her across the cement floor, into his office, and left her in a heap.
He turned his attention to his desk, giving it a mighty shove. Hoisting open the trap door, he caught hold of Magpie and yanked. Her skirt hitched up around her waist.
Pausing, he scraped a finger over the tattoo of his name on the outside of her left thigh. Then, heaving from exertion, he shoved her inside the compartment. Hustling into the common area, he grabbed her boot and sent it sailing in after her. Fitting the trap door in place, he returned the desk to its original location.
He’d deal with Magpie later. He had a bigger problem to address. The bastard Watcher hadn’t given up a thing from his Vista.
But did I?
If Dev had seen inside his Vista, even for a moment . . .
No. Abel squashed the thought, assuring himself he wasn’t reacting. Only momentarily deviating from their master plan. And then they’d move forward, take their due. The time was ripe.
In the distance, metal clanked against metal. Footsteps sounded on the ladder he’d descended minutes ago.
“Master?”
“Kemp,” he called. “In here.” Smoothing his ponytail in place, Abel located hand sanitizer in his desk, using it lavishly.
His minion appeared in the doorway.
“Where the hell is Jordan? I told her to be back by this time,” Abel lied.
While Kemp fumbled for an answer, he turned his back on him and cranked the Victrola. Moments later, the sultry strains of Dizzy Gillespie’s trumpet filled the room.
Abel lowered himself into his chair. Kemp rambled. But he didn’t hear a word he said.
He needed to rest. To heal.
Tonight, he would cross realms.
CHAPTER 31
Like a talisman, Dev clutched the Vitality stone that’d belonged to Meda for such a short time.
She’d forgotten him. More to the point, she wanted to forget him.
And she’d done precisely that by removing her Vitality stone. She’d cut out his heart, and him, from her life in one fell swoop. If they found her . . . Dev forced the thought away. When they found her, the clan might have to take her against her will if they couldn’t convince her to come with them.
Sickened, he refused to delve further into that line of thought. He had to focus on the moment or go crazy. Wasn’t that what Meda told him she did, by meditating?
Dev guided his bike onto a side street near the city’s North side, tortured by memories of Meda sitting behind him, her arms wrapped around his waist. He parked about a block from a community of former factory buildings turned luxury apartments. Storm clouds threatened. Riding Sean’s bike, Curtis pulled up behind him.
An hour had passed. And not a sign of her.
The Betrayers, too, had gone underground.
Which only fed his growing fear. Abel had taken an energy hit today, between the Flint and the Vitality. One scenario was that he was recovering, regrouping, gearing up for the next wave. Another? They’d taken Meda, as Abel had threatened. And the gods help them if they had. She’d be a target, with or without her Vitality stone. Just like them. And the brood wasn’t his only fear. What if she became a victim of the violence across the city? He and the clan had managed to avoid it so far, but had she? A chill coursed through his veins.
Quickly, he phoned Nick.
“Nothing here, Dev. I’m sorry. We all want to find her. But I can’t have the clan running the streets.”
The way they’ve been all day, searching for me. Nick didn’t have to say it. They were both thinking it.
“It’ll be dark in less than two hours. Give me at least that,” he begged. And he didn’t beg. “Please.”
“Fine. One hour. And then I’m calling this search off.”
“Understood.”
“As far as we know, she didn’t have transportation.” Not that it mattered. She could’ve hitched, flown, bused, or trained her way out of the city for all he knew. But he clung, desperately, pathetically to the hope she hadn’t left. That she was somewhere safe.
He remembered the way she’d slipped past him at the motel with her ‘off the grid M.O.’ “She’s not going to be found if she doesn’t want to be. But I’ll be damned if I’ll stop looking.”
Dev no longer cared about rocking this Compulsion, or bargaining with the Watchers for his future. All he cared about was finding Meda, and making sure his clan was safe. Each was tied up in the other. They hadn’t figured out how to create Similitude. But they had the Flint. However, they only had the one stone he and Meda had created. She was going to transfer the energy from the existing Flint to other Vitality stones, but she’d wanted to wait until after they’d tested it.
Well, he’d tested it all right. And driven her away in the process by manipulating her. Lying to her.
Confronting Abel, his own need for revenge had been like hanging onto that crumbling ledge, only days ago. The darkness in him had thrilled in it. The risk. The chance to be between the inches. He’d almost allowed that darkness, that need, to claim him. Countless times, his clan and Mataeus had saved him.
As had Meda.
The difference was, for the first time, he believed himself worthy of being saved.<
br />
It was painfully clear to him how selfish, how reckless he was. He would beg, yet again, for her forgiveness. If only she’d give him a chance.
Time, the number one enemy in his life besides himself, was doing its damnedest to make sure he never got that chance.
It shamed him to know the worry he suffered was the same he’d caused his friends, his family, even the Watchers, over the years. He squeezed his eyes closed. She’d paid him back. And he deserved everything he got.
If he’d told her or the clan how he was planning to confront Abel, they might’ve supported him. He’d been a fool to believe otherwise. He’d gained valuable information, but at what cost?
He and his clan knew the city intimately, and they drew on that knowledge, fanning out in the blocks that surrounded the gas station where she’d last been. Nick, Zane, and Saxon moved south, Dev and Curtis, north.
Dev imagined coming around the corner and seeing her. Walking down the street. Sitting inside one of the shops. As if he could summon it into being, he clung to the images.
They split their time cruising the streets and going door to door. They didn’t have a recent picture of her, but described her as best they could. Along the way, they broke up two fights, one in a bar between a husband and wife both armed with knives, the other between two drivers following a fender bender. Each incident—as the pawn shop had been—was a glaring, relentless reminder of the lack of Compulsions, and the Betrayers’ manipulation. Not to mention the toll it was taking on humans, and the human realm.
So when the trio of gang members darted out from behind the convenience store, Dev’d reached his limit.
Sneering, the bulkiest of the three sidled toward him. “You on our turf.”
Dev glanced inside the store, where Curtis questioned the clerk about Meda, then back to the trio. He recognized the designs on the man’s jacket. The tats on his hands. Knew where the gang turf lines were drawn.
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