by Rye Hart
I knew that I was leaving for good; I would not be able to come back. My people would not tolerate what they considered desertion. I kissed my mother goodbye and turned toward the woods where I’d spent most of my childhood.
“Please, child,” my mother whispered. “Please don’t leave us.
This is your home.”
I looked away, unable to handle the sadness in my mother’s eyes.
She had always been so good to me. She was a good woman and if I felt guilty about anything, I felt guilty about leaving her behind. I was her only child and I knew it would break her heart to see me go, but I also knew I had to do this. I had to follow my heart. I leaned in and kissed her cheek softly.
“I’m sorry, mother,” I said softly.
She gripped my hands so tightly her knuckles started to turn white. “Please,” she begged again. “If you leave, they will not let you back! They won’t let you come home.”
I nodded and released her hands. “I know, mother,” I said, starting to pull away.
She covered her mouth with her hand and let out a sob as Dakota wrapped his arms around her and looked at me, shaking his head.
“This is the decision you’ve made,” he said, frowning deeply. “You will have to live with abandoning your mother and your tribe. You’re turning your back on everything and if you walk into those woods, we will no longer accept you as one of us. You will be one of them, and even they won’t accept you! Are you willing to live with that?”
The words cut deep and I looked away but nodded slowly. “Yes.”
His brows furrowed and his frown deepened. “Then leave, traitor.
The words cut deep, but I turned my back to them, tears stinging my eyes. It hurt to leave, but I knew I would regret it my entire life if I didn’t do this. I wasn’t meant to marry Dakota, and I knew that. I wasn’t meant for this life. I took a deep breath and moved towards the tree line, ignoring the eyes that burned into my back as I walked from my village.
The river was flowing quickly thanks to the heavy rains and I could not stop myself from walking past it, glancing into the clear water. Would I find Johnathan again? Could we be reunited? Did he even want to see me again? These were thoughts I tried to ignore, but despite my efforts them came in loud and clear.
I finally continued on, stepping past the tree line on my own for the first time. The bustling town of Billings was just below and as I stared down, I felt a jolt of fear run through me. After a moment, I swallowed down that fear and moved forward.
I could not explain it, but I knew this was my destiny.
Chapter Three
It had been a little over a week since I'd left my home behind to come live in the relatively bustling town of Billings. I had little-to-no concept of what a big city was, so compared to my small village, this was a huge step up.
While living here, I'd quickly learned two things. The locals weren't fond of natives (or hiring them for that matter) and women were seen the same way here as they were where I was from. Men looked down on me, and at first I thought it was because I was a native, but when I started to notice they did it to their own women as well, I began to understand.
I had taken up living in a local inn and the bar keep allowed me to keep the room if I agreed to wipe the tables and help around the bar. He did not offer me any financial compensation, however and I knew that I couldn’t do that much longer. I needed to make money if I was going to survive here.
I started asking around, hoping to find local jobs, though people would avert their eyes from me and offer noncommittal sounds in response to my questions. I was getting discouraged, but I was trying to do my best to be patient.
One jobless afternoon, I wandered to the center of town, looking up at the fairly large church that towered above any other building in the city. I never had the heart to tell my mother, but ever since Johnathan had taken the time to tell me about God, I’d been faithful to the white man’s beliefs. I knew it would have broken her heart to know that her daughter was ‘betraying’ her culture and customs.
I sighed as I stepped inside the church, falling into a nearby pew. There was no one else around, and I sat quietly with my thoughts.
When my eyes wandered upward they landed on a beautiful, hand carved crucifix. My heart fluttered in my chest and I dropped my head and folded my hands together. My crystal blue eyes were squeezed closed and I prayed. I’d prayed every night I’d been here, but now I found myself praying harder than before. I did not want to go back to my village. I did not want to admit that I’d been wrong and I did not want to marry Dakota. This was where I wanted to be. I knew that more than anything.
“You are new here.”
A soft voice addressed me, the accent out of place. I’d heard a few other people with the same accent, though I was unsure as to where it was from. My eyes fluttered open and I looked up at a young woman holding a basket of fresh apples. She smiled softly at me and offered me one, which I took thankfully, my cheeks red.
“I just moved here recently,” I murmured, taking a bite of the apple. I wasn’t particularly hungry, but it seemed rude to not accept the gift.
“What’s your name?”
I hesitated before answering. This felt so strange. No one had been this kind to me since I arrived. I cleared my throat and finally offered my name.
“Dyani.”
“Dyani. That’s beautiful. It’s very exotic.”
“May I ask your name?”
“Of course. My name is Rebecca,” she said with a smile, offering her hand to me.
When I glanced at her hand I could not help but think back to the first moment I met Johnathan. I smiled and took her hand, offering a confident shake and a smile.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said.
“And you!” she sang, “Where are you living? You should come for tea some time.”
I was a bit taken aback by how forward she was. Hardly anyone had looked at me since I’d been in Billings, and now this stranger was inviting me to her home. I answered uncertainly. “Tea? I’m not sure what that is.”
“Oh you’ll love it! If you live too far away I could send a carriage.”
“I live at the inn,” I admitted almost shyly.
She frowned deeply and touched my hair. “The inn? Why in the world do you stay there, pretty girl? It’s dangerous for a girl with such a lovely face to stay in a place like that.”
“I don’t really have a choice,” I admitted. “I just moved here and I don’t have any money. The bar keep is letting me rent a room in exchange for help in the saloon, but he doesn’t pay me any actual money.”
Rebecca clicked her tongue and shook her head. “Come with me,” she said, offering her hand.
I took the Rebecca’s hand slowly and stood with her. I wasn’t sure why, but I trusted this woman. “Where are we going?”
“We’re going to go get your things so that you can come stay with me.”
“Oh no!” I gasped, pulling my hand away and holding it up. “I could not possibly do that!”
She cocked a brow and put her hands on her hips. “And why not?”
“That’s too much! I could not possibly live under someone’s roof for free! And, forgive me, you seem like a lovely person, but we do not know one another at all,” I said.
She chuckled and shook her head. “Good. That means you have virtue and a good work ethic. It won’t be for nothing, my dear. I’m looking for someone to help around the house. I live in a large home with my husband and daughter and the work and errands are a bit much for me to handle on my own.” She explained, waving her hand in the air. “And knowing that you lift up your prayers to our Lord, is good enough for me,” she added.
My chest swelled with hope, and when I breathed my next words out, I could feel tears pooling in my eyes. “Really?”
She chuckled and nodded. “Really. Now, are you coming?”
I nodded quickly and following her out of the church, glancing back at the crucifix and smi
ling thankfully.
Chapter Four
My eyes fluttered open and I looked around at the beautiful room that I’d been waking up in for over a week now. The windows were still open from the night before and the sheer curtains billowed in the breeze. I groaned softly as I sat up, my body still not used to the softness of the bed. I had slept on a cot at the inn and it was not even close too nice.
I stood and ran my fingers through my dark hair for a moment before dressing for the day. I was thankful to Rebecca for buying me more than one dress. I was afraid the poor thing was going to fall apart form over washing before I could get a new one!
I sighed and braided my hair, looking out the window to see what the weather looked like. It was going to be a bright sunny day and I could not have been more thrilled. I hummed softly to myself and turned to walk out of the room, plucking the list of chores off my door on my way out.
Rebecca always left a small list of things for me to do on my door so I’d be ready to take on the day. It was much easier to function when you knew exactly what you needed to be doing. I hated running around without a plan.
I wandered through town, ignoring the strange looks people tossed my way. None of that mattered anymore. Rebecca had given me confidence and showed me that not everyone was fearful of natives. I could only hope that her trusting me would help others find compassion in their own souls. I had dreams of my people and the white man living together without fear of one another.
I glanced down at the paper and hummed. I was supposed to go the blacksmith to pick up the horse. I assumed it was being reshoed. I decided to do that first since it would be the most time consuming task. I went straight for the blacksmith’s shop, knocking on the door and waiting patiently.
I heard cursing from inside and put a hand to my lips, surprised by the vulgarities coming from within. When the door was finally opened an annoyed man looked at me, brows furrowed and face dirty from soot. I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice got lost when I realized who I was looking at.
“J-Johnathan?” The name came out as a hushed whisper.
His face softened and he started at me. “Dyani?”
I wasn’t sure whether to feel excited or betrayed. I took a step back but before I could get away he reached out and yanked me closed, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight.
“Oh God! I thought I’d never see you again!”
I wanted to be angry but I could not help melting in his arms, resting my head on his shoulder. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around him in return, still unable to speak. He held me for a long moment before slowly pulling away and cupping my cheeks.
“Is it really you?” he asked.
I finally managed to pull myself together and pulled away from him, my eyes wet with tears. “How dare you!” I snapped.
His eyes widened and he looked me over. “Dyani?”
“Don’t! Don’t say my name!” I spat, shoving Rebecca’s order ticket into his hands. “I want to pick up my horse and leave!”
He took the paper and looked down at it, his brows furrowed. “Please. Will you hear me out?”
The shock of seeing him again had worn off and I was shaking with anger now. I wanted to tell him no and I wanted to tell him to never talk to me again, but I caved. I was so weak against those beautiful golden eyes. I swallowed and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Fine. I’ll listen to what you have to say, but don’t touch me again,” I whispered, my voice shaking.
He nodded slowly and closed his eyes. “I spent so long so afraid I would not see again. I thought about you a lot, you know.”
I shook my head slowly and looked at him, eyes wide. “Then why did you disappear? Why did you stop coming to our spot?” I demanded.
He sighed and lifted his hands as if he were going to touch me, but remembered our deal and dropped his hands.
“Ma and Pa figured out what I was doing,” he closed his eyes. “They told me I could not see you anymore. They moved me away to a town a few hours north and I came back, hoping to find you, but it had been years and I could not enter your camp. I tried once and a man found me and told me he’d kill me if I came back. I did not know what to do, so I just stayed here and secretly hoped and prayed that I would find you one day,” he smiled weakly. “And here you are, as beautiful as I imagined you’d be.”
My tears were flowing down my cheeks now, my chest rising and falling far quicker than I wanted it to. I wanted to remain restrained, but I broke again. I did not stand a chance against him. Slowly I raised my shaking hands, cupping his cheeks and staring at him.
“I had no idea.”
He put his hands over mine and smiled sadly. “I would not leave you without a good reason. It killed me when they took me away from you. No one understood my pain and no one would listen. I knew we were meant to be together but no one thought we could be. They said we were from different worlds, but that never mattered to us, did it?” he whispered, stroking my cheek.
I shook my head, fighting tears as I pressed myself into his shoulder. He lifted my gaze so that I was forced to meet his and smiled.
“Should we pick up where we left off?”
Chapter Five
How could I say no to his request? I had missed him so much and it brought some relief to know that he hadn’t left because he got bored of me. I figured I had been a novelty all along and that he had no real interest in me. He saw my dark skin and it piqued his curiosity. The fact that he’d actually been interested in me all along, made my heart swell with hope. Maybe we really were meant to be together.
After that first meeting things fell right back into place. Rebecca was thrilled when I told her I found him. We’d spent nights talking by the fire and on a few occasions, I found that my conversations wandered to him, my heart aching and desperate. She could not have been happier for me and actually allowed me to do fewer chores so that I could spend more time with him. I was thankful for that, but I always made sure that my work was done before leaving to meet with Johnathan.
When we were together it was like no time had passed. He could still make me laugh, and when he touched me, I felt that same butterfly flutter in my belly. He made me feel amazing and I could only hope that I made him feel the same way.
One afternoon, I walked through town briskly, eager to make it to his shop. I knocked on the door and smiled as I pushed it open. Johnathon was hard at work, hunched over a piece of hot steel as he hammered it, forcing it back into the correct shape. His arms were strong and every muscle was on display as he worked the iron. It made me blush and I could not help reaching out and touching his broad shoulders.
He stopped mid-swing and turned to look at me, his face softening when he saw it was me. He always looked so intense when he worked. I loved seeing the shift on his features when he spotted me. He dropped the hammer and stood, wrapping his arms around me gently. I sighed and returned the affection, leaning up and kissing his cheek as I brushed hair from his face, smiling.
“How are you doing today?” I hummed.
“It’s been a busy day, but I’m happy you are here now,” he murmured, stroking my cheek adoringly.
I blushed and just grinned, taking his hand. “Do you think you could leave a little early?”
“I suppose I could,” he said, removing his apron with his free hand. “Did you have something in mind?”
I nodded and tugged him away from his work and toward the door. He chuckled deep in his throat but followed easily, allowing me to pull him despite the fact that he was quite a bit larger than me. He did not argue a bit and just smiled.
Eventually we ended up at a small lake near Rebecca’s house. I started wriggling out of my heavy top dress and I saw him blush. I rolled my eyes a little, smiling.
“I have another dress on under this,” I explained, motioning toward the lighter, blue dress.
It might have been considered an undergarment, but I had a hard time feeling scandalous when every inch of my skin below my neck
was covered. These people had a strange obsession with modesty that I’d never understand. They would overheat themselves for the sake of “propriety.” It made the human form even more appetizing, I thought. I never thought impure thoughts of my half naked friends back home.
He was still blushing but nodded as he slipped out of his boots. I grabbed his hand and pulled hard, yanking him into the water with me. I hit the surface of the water and it cooled my skin almost immediately. When Johnathan came up, I smiled and swam over to him, wrapping myself around his tall frame. I was just about as tall as him, though I wasn’t near as muscular. I smiled and put my forehead to his, leaning in close and kissing him gently. I loved the way his lips felt on mine.
He held me close and returned the kiss, looking up at me, his eyes bright. He’d been looking at me like that for months now. We really did pick up right where we left off and it went off without so much as a bump in the road and the years we’d spent apart mattered little.
“Is this what’s it’s going to be like forever?” I asked softly, still pressed close to him.
“I hope so,” he admitted, cupping my cheek. “As long as we’re willing to let it, I think it will be like this forever,” he added.
I smiled and nodded, though my joy slowly started to fade. “Sometimes I think about how much I missed you when you were gone,” I whispered, closing my eyes. “It was awful. After you left, I did not know what to do with myself.”
He held me closer and shook his head. “That’s never going to happen again, sweetheart.”
“You promise? I just don’t know if my heart could take it.”
“I’m my own man now,” he started, kissing me tenderly. “No one could tear you from me. God brought us together and it would be like spitting in His face if I walked away from you. I love you, Dyani.”