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Extreme Junior Edition Page 2

by David Borgenicht


  Cool Volcano Words

  aa (ah-ah): That is not a typo. And it’s not you screaming either. Aa is a Hawaiian word for a type of lava with a rough surface of hard lava fragments.

  caldera (call-DARE-uh): The crater formed by a volcanic explosion. (The mouth of the vomiting volcano.)

  kipuka (kip-OOK-uh): A Hawaiian word for an area (like a hill) surrounded by lava flow, like an island in a sea of lava.

  magma: Molten rock that is underground.

  pillow lava: Blob-shaped formations of cooled lava that form when a lava flow enters the water.

  2 Head for the hills!

  Oh wait, the hills are on fire. That’s not such a good idea. If the lava is headed your way, get out of its path as fast as you can. If you can put a ditch—or better yet, an entire valley—between you and the flow, so much the better.

  3 Get inside.

  Boiling lava on the ground, rocks raining from the sky? Time to seek shelter. Get inside—anywhere will do—as fast as you can, and try to get to a high story. Close all doors and windows. Don’t open the door, not even if the lava knocks politely.

  4 Up, up, and away.

  Another nasty thing about a volcanic eruption is the mix of deadly gases that are belched forth. Carbon dioxide gas is the worst of ’em, and because it is denser than air, it will collect near the ground, so start climbing—stairs, furniture, whatever will keep your head above the murk.

  How to Survive an Avalanche

  Imagine being hit by a snowball as big as an ocean liner. That’s what it feels like to be in an avalanche, and it’s clearly a fight you want to avoid. But if Mother Nature throws the first snowball, staying on top of it (literally) is your best shot at riding to safety.

  1 Brace yourself for impact.

  If an avalanche is heading your way, don’t let your jaw drop in shock—keep your mouth closed tight so you won’t choke on snow. If you have ski poles, drop them (they can be dragged away, pulling you down), and crouch behind a tree or find shelter ASAP.

  2 Ride the wave.

  As the avalanche starts to close in around you, stay on top of the sliding snow by swimming in a freestyle (crawl) motion, using your arms and legs to keep you on the surface. It’s the ultimate in bodysurfing.

  BE AWARE • Never hike alone in avalanche country, and always carry an emergency beacon—a signaling device that will help rescuers find you if you are buried under snow.

  3 When in doubt, spit.

  If you end up in the middle of a snow cone, you need to find the surface. If you can’t tell which end is up, dig a hole around you and spit. Your loogie will head downhill and give you an idea which way is up. Cool, huh?

  4 Dig up.

  Dig toward open air. Dig quickly, or someone may discover you in 2,000 years in the ice and say, “Wow, look at that perfectly preserved expression of panic!”

  Avalanches to Imagine

  Which kind of avalanche would you least like to be in?

  • Soccer balls

  • Pudding

  • Fingernail clippings

  • Thumbtacks

  • Donuts

  • Belly button lint

  • Spray cheese

  • Marbles

  • Worms

  How to Avoid a Bear Attack

  For the most part, bears just want to live an easy country life. However, in certain situations, they can get testy. Like when they’re protecting their cubs, feasting on deer, or when their houses have been broken into and vandalized by little blond girls who eat their porridge. Here’s how to show bears the respect they deserve.

  1 Sing out loud, sing out strong.

  You don’t want to freak out a bear by surprising it. As you hike, make noise by talking, singing a little forest karaoke, or by having a fascinating conversation with your echo. You could also fasten bells to your shoes or hat. Any sound will clue the bear in that you’re coming, so it can choose to avoid you. That’s the best-case scenario!

  2 Keep your distance.

  If you spot a bear, hold very still, and wait for the bear to go on its merry way. If you can, back away s-l-o-w-l-y to get more distance from the bear.

  3 Know who you’re dealing with.

  Check if the bear is black or brown. Black bears are the most common in North America, but if you’re in western North America, you might encounter a brown bear (like the grizzly or Kodiak). Coat colors can vary, though, so if you hike in a region with both black and brown bears, learn all the ways to tell the difference before you head out.

  4 Play tricks.

  If the bear is a black bear, and it’s starting to charge you from afar, wave your arms and make noise—the bear will think you’re bigger than you are and will back off. If it’s a brown bear, curl up and lie still—playing dead will hopefully cause the bear to lose interest.

  Oh Deer!

  The most dangerous animal in America? The deer. That’s right. Cute little Bambi is responsible for around 1.5 million car collisions in the Unites States alone every year, according to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. A total of 150 of these crashes are fatal for humans, and the horns-meeting-headlights destruction causes more than one billion dollars in property damage annually.

  But the road isn’t the only place a deer can be dangerous. As our neighborhoods start to take over the deer’s homes, deer are losing their natural fear of people. During mating season (November–December), there have been an increasing number of deer attacks on humans by rambunctious bucks. With sharp antlers and club-like hooves, deer can be vicious.

  Tell your parents to use the following tips when driving in deer country:

  • Pay attention to deer-crossing signs and drive slowly when you see them.

  • Be aware that deer are most active between the hours of 6 and 9 p.m.

  • Do not attempt to sing a duet with a deer or any other woodland creature.

  How to Survive a Lightning Storm on a Mountainside

  Have you seen those “storm chasers” on TV? Those crazy folks who drive into the eyes of hurricanes? Do not try that at home! But even if you’re not chasing storms, sometimes they’ll chase you. Here’s how to win this game of tag.

  1 Stormwatch.

  You love nature—if there are a few black clouds overhead, a little torrential downpour, so what? Lightning, however, is a different story, and you need to be aware of the signs when a storm is so close, you could be stuck:

  • A buzzing sound. This is the sound of static electricity caused by tiny particles called electrons dancing about.

  • A sudden gravity-defying change in your hairstyle. Your new ‘do is the result of electricity in the air and in your hair!

  • A halo of light around people or trees. No, you’re not seeing things—well, actually you are, but it’s a real phenomenon known as “St. Elmo’s Fire.” The high voltage in the air reacts with the gas around objects and people to create the glow. Pretty cool.

  2 Do the math.

  Arithmetic may be the last thing on your mind at a time like this, but a little division can help you figure out how close to you the storm is. When you see lightning, count the number of seconds until you hear thunder. Then divide by five. That’s how far away the storm is in miles. Get to a safe place immediately if the thunder snaps, crackles, or pops less than 30 seconds after the lightning. A storm even 6 miles away is within lightning-strike range. (It doesn’t have to be raining on you for lightning to find you!)

  3 Heavy metal?

  Take off backpacks with metal frames and any jewelry. That navel piercing makes your belly button a bull’s-eye. Tall things and metal objects are what lightning likes. That’s why telephone poles aren’t good hiking buddies.

  Real or Ridiculous?

  Which of the following are real effects of being struck by lightning? Which are ridiculous?

  • You can turn the lights on and off by blinking.

  • Your popcorn starts to pop before you put the bag in the microwave.


  • Your hair is dark and curly (but it used to be blond and straight).

  • You now sneeze the sound of thunder.

  • You have a magnetic personality (literally).

  Answer: Of course, all of these are ridiculous!

  4 Gimme shelter (the right kind).

  If you’re in the forest and there are trees all around you, choose the shortest one and crouch under it, so you’re the shortest thing in the area. If a tree has a lightning scar (usually a vertical patch that’s been cut out of the tree or is covered in new, lighter bark), stay away—lightning can actually strike the same place twice. Stay away from isolated trees, metal fences, and bodies of water. All of these can attract lightning strikes.

  How to Escape from a Mountain Lion

  Ah, the peaceful sounds of the mountainside—birds calling, the wind in the trees, the low growl of a mountain lion—uh-oh. Here’s how to stay safe in cougar country.

  1 Don’t be a copycat.

  When you’re near mountain lions (also called cougars and pumas), don’t be a copycat; if you don’t do like the big cats do, you’ll be less likely to meet one. Don’t hike at dusk or dawn (when they’re on the prowl). If you see scratch marks on the trees, don’t think, “Time to sharpen my fingernails.” And definitely don’t kill and eat a deer.

  2 Run away? Not today.

  Not to sound like the annoying lifeguard, but upon sighting a mountain lion, please do not run. If you run, it is likely to chase you. It’s got four legs to your two. It’s a lot faster than you. Don’t find out the hard way.

  3 Grow up.

  You want to appear like a big ferocious animal so the lion doesn’t think you’re some easy-to-chomp little morsel. Look as big as you can. Stand up straight. Flex those muscles! Wave your arms over your head. Spread out your jacket like a king cobra. Bare your teeth and make some noise, y’all!

  4 Back up.

  If your tough-guy act doesn’t petrify the puma, then you need to make the first move to break up this unhealthy relationship. Standing tall, slowly back away from the mountain lion.

  5 Throw up.

  This lion is not getting the hint; instead of walking away, he’s stalking today. He’s looking intently at you and crouching. You need to make it clear that you’re not defenseless. Pick up some stones and toss them at the lion. Hard.

  6 Protect your neck.

  If the lion pounces, do not curl up to protect yourself. Mountain lions like to bite the back of the neck. Stay upright and maneuver to keep your neck away from the lion—kind of like how you’d avoid turning your back to a bully who likes to give wedgies. And yeah, a mountain lion neck bite is a little different from a wedgie, but you get the idea!

  How to Go to the Bathroom in the Woods

  Mountain lions, avalanches, volcanoes—all formidable foes. But what’s the #1 wilderness worry? It’s going #2.

  1 Find your magic spot.

  Pick a potty spot behind a tree or rock for privacy, far from the trail. This isn’t a spectator sport. Stay at least 100 feet (30 m) away from any water source.

  2 Dig a doo ditch.

  Use a stick to dig a hole to bury your treasure. Make the hole deep enough to cover your “deposit.”

  3 Gather materials.

  Find some nice soft leaves (unless you brought toilet paper) as wipes. Some hikers use pine cones, dry pine needles, or even a smooth “wiping stone.” (Not something you’d want to keep for your rock garden or pet rock collection.)

  BE AWARE • You should always make an informed decision on your brand of toilet foliage. Make sure you know what poison ivy looks like!

  4 Bury your treasure.

  Bury the leaves along with your poo. If you brought toilet paper, carry it out of the woods with you in a sealed plastic bag.

  5 Wash your hands.

  Wiping in the woods is an art that is rarely perfectly executed. So be sure to wash up. Wet your hands with water from a canteen or use a hand sanitizer.

  The Circle of Life

  Everyone has a favorite technique for fertilizing the soil. What’s yours?

  • The Invisible Chair

  Press your back against a tree so your butt is suspended above the ground, as if you were sitting on an imaginary chair.

  • The Standard Squat

  Take a wide stance and crouch down over your homemade toilet. Note: This is only for those who have good balance.

  • The Hanging Squat

  Hold on to a tree in front of you, ideally one that bends (but doesn’t break!). Place your feet near the base of the tree, bend your knees, and lean back.

  • The Fallen Log

  Hang your butt over the edge of a fallen log. There are two theories for the origin of the name of this method.

  CHAPTER 3

  How to Survive in the Desert

  How to Get Along with Tarantulas

  Relax. It’s just a spider. A big hairy spider. With fangs. Fangs that can inject venom. Actually, you can relax. A tarantula is not that dangerous. Its venom causes nothing more than some minor swelling (unless you’re allergic to it, which is rare). But why get that far?

  1 Play poker.

  If a tarantula makes a pit stop on you, find something like a stick or a rolled-up newspaper and gently poke your furry visitor. Poke at it the way you poke your fork at vegetables you don’t want to eat. The big guy should mosey on off. Move along fella, nothing to see here.

  2 Shake your booty.

  If the poking isn’t doing the trick, it’s time to bounce up and down like an idiot. Stand up, bounce, and shake. So you look a little goofy. The tarantula is not one to judge. Who knows? The Tarantula Twist may become the next big dance craze.

  Cool or Scary?

  • The Goliath tarantula from South America has a body as big as a Chihuahua.

  • Tarantulas actually run after their prey; they don’t wait in a web.

  • If forced to defend itself, a tarantula may flick tiny barbed hairs from its abdomen at its enemy.

  How to Deal with a Scorpion

  The scorpion, a relative of spiders, has eight legs and a stinger right at the end of its tail. But a wagging tail doesn’t mean a scorpion is happy to see you. Do not lean over it and say, “Oh, wook at dat widdle guy waggin’ his widdle tail!” When that stinger-capped tail uncurls like a party blower, the party’s over.

  1 Play hide and seek.

  Comfy hiding spots, such as inside your shoes, under your bed linens, and under your pile of laundry are four-star accommodations to scorpions. Shake out your boots, bed linens, and clothes before using them. And at night, stuff your empty shoes so the scorpions don’t tuck themselves in.

  2 Leave stones unturned.

  Resist turning over rocks or reaching into crevices. If you surprise a scorpion, the next surprise will be on you.

  3 No shoes, you lose.

  If you’re camping in the desert, and you need to go to the bathroom at night, take the time to shake out and put on your shoes before venturing out. Scorpions are nocturnal (meaning they’re active at night), and they will sting bare feet if they come their way.

  BE AWARE • On rare occasions, scorpions can be born with two tails. Double the pleasure!

  How to Protect Yourself in a Sandstorm

  Sandstorms can strike quickly and with little warning. One moment you’re strolling along the dunes, enjoying the scenery, and the next, you’re being blasted by a blizzard of sand grains. Here’s how to ride out the storm.

  1 Seal your lips.

  The first thing to do is to cover your nose and mouth. Wet a bandanna, and, doing your best bandit imitation, wrap it around your face and nose. Resist the temptation to rob a train.

  2 Don’t stare.

  Ever have something caught in your eye, like a gnat? It’s torture. In a sandstorm, it’s cool to be a four-eyes. If you have goggles or sunglasses, put them on. Turn your head away from the wind and close your eyes.

  3 Back that act up.

  Turn away f
rom the wind. If you need to move toward the wind—say, back to your car or shelter—walk backward.

  Super Sandstorms

  Some of the biggest sandstorms in the world occur in the Sahara Desert of Africa, where they’re called haboobs—Arabic for “strong wind.” And “strong wind” is right! Gusts can create walls of sand 3,000 feet high—twice as tall as the Empire State Building!

  How to Survive an Encounter with a Rattlesnake

  Rattlesnakes, like all snakes, are cold-blooded and prefer hot climates. Not surprisingly, these venomous vipers, along with many other scary slitherers, call the desert home. Here’s how to keep your cool if a rattler crosses your path.

  1 Name that tune.

  So, you’re hiking a desert trail through the dunes when suddenly you find a large brown snake. You can check your field guide for a snake with a flat triangular head, thick body, and fangs like retractable needles. Or you can take your cue from the rattle at the end of its tail, which will probably start shaking and clacking. It’s got a rattle, and it’s a snake. Chances are you know what it is already.

  BE AWARE • Always stay on clear paths, so you can see what’s underfoot!

  2 Don’t get rattled.

  So the rattler is still and coiled up, with a tail that sounds like it’s playing the maracas. What does that rattling mean? Rattlesnakes don’t come with warning labels, but if they did, this is what they’d say: Warning—if the snake is coiled and head is raised, get out of striking range. Also, if the rattle is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’.

 

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