by Lexi Lawton
“Get out.” The chatter paused, but no one moved. “Get. Out,” she said louder, then pointed at the door. “Now!”
“What the fuck, Jules?” Rebecca’s expression was mortified. “Rude much?”
“Oh no.” She shook her head. “You are not going to make me out to be the bad guy. I am so tired of coming home to find you and your buddies hanging out in a room that’s fucking trashed.”
Rebecca flinched and narrowed her eyes. She turned to her friends, who still hadn’t bothered to move. “I’ll catch up with you guys later, okay? I think I need to have a little chat with my roommate about her lack of manners.”
Juliana snorted. She had a lack of manners? Oh, that was priceless. When the last of Rebecca’s friends had left, Juliana swung the door closed. “You’re right, we do need to have a talk.” She crossed her arms.
“I seriously don’t know what your problem is, but I don’t appreciate you barging in here and telling my friends to leave.”
She squeezed her upper arms, her fingers digging into her flesh. “And I don’t appreciate coming home every single day to a messy room full of people I don’t know. For Christ’s sake, those people were practically having sex. On my bed!”
Rebecca flopped down on her bed. “You really need to lighten up.”
She took a calming breath. Yelling at each other wouldn’t get them anywhere, and if she wanted things to change, she was going to have to approach it differently. “Why don’t we set some ground rules? This way you can still have your friends over, but I won’t feel uncomfortable. Or locked out completely.”
There was a long pause before Rebecca nodded. “All right, fine. What do you suggest?”
“Okay.” She wiped her palms on her jeans and sat on her bed. “You can have friends over twice a week, whatever days you want, but you have to tell me beforehand so I can make plans to stay elsewhere. And if you’re going to be having sex, put a damn sock on the door.”
“Deal. I want three days a week.”
“Fine. As long as I get one day each weekend where I can have the room to myself.”
“You can take Saturdays.” She waved her hand dismissively. “That’s when all the good parties are anyway, so I’ll be at them.”
“Good, okay. Thank you.” This was going better than she thought it would. “Could you please not make a mess on my side of the room? And if you’re going to use my stuff, ask first.”
“Fine, whatever,” Rebecca grumbled.
Jules nodded and stood. If Rebecca followed through with their new rules, living here would be bearable, and the fact she agreed so easily, Juliana was confident this was a turning point in the right direction.
“I’m heading out to meet Devon for dinner. Want to come along?”
“No, I’m going to go catch up with my friends you tossed out.” She grinned. “After I pick up all your stuff I touched.”
“Thank you.” Jules collected her wallet and cell phone from her backpack. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” She left and headed outside.
Devon was already there, waiting for her. He waved.
“You’re early for once,” she said.
“You’d better stick to med school because you suck as a comedian.” He laughed. “I figured we could go to the dining hall tonight. Unless you want to go off-campus.”
“No, the dining hall is fine.” She walked beside him. “So, I talked to my roommate, and we worked things out. Hopefully there won’t be any more problems.”
“Good. I’m glad…”
But she didn’t hear the rest of his sentence because movement from the corner of her eye drew her attention. She turned to see Tanner walking out of Glaster res hall. He was smiling and laughing, and there was a tall, curvy blonde with him. They looked happy together. Oh God! She’d told him to stop asking her out, that she wanted only his friendship, and now there he was, with another girl.
Juliana faltered. She swore her heart dropped out of her chest, shattered all over the sidewalk, and then she stepped on the jagged pieces, breaking them even more. A debilitating pain gripped her chest, like a rusty knife had been shoved into her rib cage. She couldn’t breathe, and the threat of tears burned her eyes.
“Seriously, what the hell? Did you hear anything I said?” Devon walked back to where she stood.
She hadn’t even realized she’d stopped walking.
“Jules? Are you okay?”
She couldn’t stop staring at Tanner and the blonde. They were walking away, together, much too closely. And then he put his hand on the small of her back. Juliana whimpered. Or maybe she gasped. She wasn’t entirely sure.
“Okay, stop it.” Devon took hold of her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Her voice was hoarse.
“You’re jumping to conclusions, and I’d bet my car you’ve already constructed a million different worst-case scenarios in your mind.”
He had her there.
“You have no idea what that was.” He nodded toward where Tanner and the girl had been.
Wrong. She did know. She’d pushed Tanner away, and he’d turned to someone else. What had she expected? For him to wait around for her? She almost laughed at the absurdity of the thought.
“Juliana. Listen to me.” His tone was firm, bordering on authoritative. “You have to talk to him. Tell him what you saw and give him a chance to explain before you assume he’s sleeping with someone.”
Hearing her greatest fear voiced aloud was a punch to the gut. She clutched her mid-section and nodded. But the possibility she was right was enough to keep her from doing as Devon insisted. Fear was a real bitch.
“What’s with you? This morning you told me not to get involved with him, and now you’re telling me to give him the benefit of the doubt? Which is it, Dev?” Her anger was misplaced, but she didn’t know what else to do or say.
“Don’t go putting words into my mouth. I never said you shouldn’t get involved with Tanner. I said you needed to be careful.” He loosened his hold on her shoulders. “Whether you want to admit it or not, I know you like him, and I don’t want you to give up before you ever give it a chance.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Fine. I’ll talk to him.”
“Thank you.” He flung his arm around her. “C’mon. Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
“That should be your motto.” She elbowed him, the beginning of a smile trying to displace her frown. But her appetite was gone, replaced with a lead weight in her gut. What if she and Devon were wrong about Tanner?
Chapter Nine
Tanner checked his phone—again—and frowned when there still wasn’t a reply text from Juliana. It had been almost a week since they’d gone to the disco roller-skating party, and it had been three days since she’d told him to stop asking her out.
She’s pulling away. He could feel it and see it in her actions. She’d barely responded to any of his texts since Monday night, and when she did, they were curt, one-word answers. She spoke to him in class, but as soon as it was over, she was out the door, giving him one excuse after another about why she had to rush off. She’d turned down every offer he made to hang out as friends, too.
Something was wrong, but he didn’t know what, and if he didn’t know, he couldn’t fix it. He took a seat in the back of the lecture hall, which gave him a direct view of the door, and he waited for Jules to walk in. A moment later, she did. He waved to her, and she took the seat beside him. That was a good sign.
“Hey.” He smiled.
“Hi.” She didn’t look at him but rather dug through her bag.
“How are you?” Shit. She becomes standoffish, and I turn into a moron who can’t think of anything to say other than, how are you? He needed a swift kick to the ass.
“Fine.” She set her notebook on the desk and opened it, pen poised in her hand. Then she proceeded to stare straight ahead. Like a fucking robot programmed to avoid him at all costs.
“Okay, what’s goi
ng on? Why have you been avoiding me?”
“I’m not,” she said. Her gaze never so much as wavered in his direction.
He scowled. “Right. That’s why you won’t even look at me?” He leaned over and clutched her chin, gently turning her toward him. He searched her face for some clue as to what was going on in her mind, but she was expressionless. Her eyes, though, they told a different story. They were dull. And sad. “Did I do something to piss you off?”
“No.”
“You changed your mind about going out with me and you’re afraid to say so?” His lips twitched with a smile.
“No.” She pulled away from his hold.
Damn. What was it going to take to get more than a one-word answer out of her? Frustration bubbled up, and he took a deep breath to avoid snapping at her. Doing so wouldn’t help the situation, and he needed answers. “So, what’s going on then?”
She set down her pen and smoothed her hands over her hair. “Clearly you want a relationship. I don’t. So…” She momentarily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she looked at him, her eyes were red and wide, like she was seconds away from crying. “If there’s someone else who can give you what you want, you should do it. Pursue her. I mean, if there is a her.” She shook her head. “What I’m trying to say is, I don’t want you to feel guilty about getting into a relationship with someone else, someone who wants the same things you do. I’ll understand. I mean, I do understand.”
He tilted his head in confusion. “What the hell are you talking about?” He’d heard from Lucas that Devon had been asking around about him, and so help him God, if Devon pumped her full of lies and bullshit, there were going to be problems.
She looked away again, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth so hard, it made his mouth hurt. He cringed. Professor Sloan entered the room, and Tanner stood abruptly. Once class started, he wouldn’t be able to talk to Jules, and he wasn’t going to lose this opportunity, not now that she was finally talking.
“Come with me,” he said.
“What? Class is about to start.”
“It won’t take long. Promise.” He held his hand out to her, his gaze darting between her and the front of the room. The latecomers were still filing in, but the second everyone was seated, they wouldn’t be able to get out without being noticed. He didn’t want to cause a disruption, and he was certain she didn’t, either.
“Can it wait until after class?” she asked.
“Only if you promise not to rush off and to actually talk to me.”
“I promise.” She smiled.
God, she was breathtaking. Tension coiled tightly in his stomach. He could not go another day without her. Granted, she wasn’t his—yet—but even hanging out with her as friends was better than nothing. And shit, he’d missed her this past week. As crazy as that sounded, he actually missed being around her. He returned to his seat.
Professor Sloan began class, but Tanner’s concentration was shot. He was lucky if he heard every tenth word. His cell phone sat on the desk, and he constantly turned on the screen to check the time. Beside him, Jules frantically took notes. Where on earth had she gotten the idea he was pursuing someone else? Or that he wanted to get into a relationship with anyone but her? He nervously bounced his knee and tapped his pen on his notebook. This class is never going to end.
Juliana reached over and put her hand on his leg, stopping his nervous bouncing. It was like she’d poked him with a lightning rod. A tingling buzz radiated from where her hand rested, spreading up his legs, pooling in his gut, and erupting in his chest. The blood in his veins heated and turned to pure lust. Adrenaline spiked with a paralyzing need had his heart seconds away from exploding.
“Stop,” she whispered, holding his gaze. “I promised we’d talk after class, and we will, but keep it up and you’ll be talking on the way to the hospital because I will cut off your damn leg.”
He put his hand over hers, interlocking their fingers. “Sorry.” He leaned closer, pressing his shoulder against hers. “I keep thinking you’re getting ready to break up with me.”
She turned her head a fraction of an inch, putting their faces a breath’s width apart. “I can’t break up with someone I’m not dating.”
“Now you see my dilemma.” His gaze lingered on her eyes a moment before dipping lower, memorizing the full curve of her lips. He’d give up his entire trust fund for a single taste. All he wanted was one kiss. Actually, no, that wasn’t true. He wanted a fuck of a lot more, because Juliana was not the type of girl he could kiss once and forget.
“What dilemma? The one where you’re worrying needlessly about me breaking up with you? Or the one where I won’t date you?”
His gaze lifted back to hers, and he grinned. “Yes.”
She shook her head and slipped her hand from his. “You’re impossible.” But her smile gave away her true feelings.
“I’m persistent. There’s a difference.”
The girl sitting in front of them cleared her throat loudly as she turned to give them a dirty look. She mumbled something and twisted back toward the front of the room. Tanner sliced a look at Jules, who had her finger to her lips, shushing him. Then she turned her head so her hair fell forward, hiding her face. Was she blushing?
Fifty excruciatingly long minutes later, class ended, and he hadn’t retained a single word of the lecture. He scooped up his books and tucked them under his arm. Jules stood and grabbed her bag. “Is there somewhere you’d prefer to talk?” he asked, holding out his arm to indicate she should go first.
“I don’t have another class until eleven, so I’m in no rush. We can go wherever.” She shrugged and walked out of the room.
Tanner followed. “I’m actually heading over to the administration office. Want to walk with me?”
“Sure.” She was completely silent as they crossed the quad, and he was preparing to have to drag information out of her, but then she stepped off the sidewalk and stopped. “I saw you,” she said with a heavy sigh. “Monday night. You were coming out of Glaster Hall with a really pretty blonde.”
He narrowed his eyes, searching his memory for what he’d been doing at Glaster Hall Monday night. And then his eyebrows shot up. “You saw me with Holly?”
“Even her name is pretty.” She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and looked everywhere but at him. Until she finally did, and a kick to the groin would’ve hurt less than the pain and distrust he saw in her gaze. “Like I said, you’re free to see whoever you want.” She forced a tight smile. “You two really do look great together.”
Everything suddenly made a lot more sense. He didn’t know whether to laugh or scream, though. “Holly is Jason’s girlfriend. They have the most complicated relationship known to man. She broke up with him a couple weeks ago and then decided she wanted him back. I was picking her up and bringing her to the apartment so she could surprise him.”
“So…you’re not going out with her?”
“No,” he said around a laugh.
“Oh.”
“And there’s no one else, either.”
“Okay.” There was a hint of disbelief in her tone, and he expected her to roll those big brown eyes at him—an action he found so damn arousing and distracting.
He set his books on the ground then stepped up to her, resisting the urge to take her face into his hands and kiss her. “Maybe my actions haven’t been clear enough, so let me make it crystal clear right now.” He took another step closer, putting them chest to chest. “I haven’t so much as asked out, hung out, been out, or hooked up with anyone since meeting you. And I have no intention of doing so unless it’s with you.” He needed her to believe him. It was a tangible need growing by the second.
“Why?” She took a step back and crossed her arms.
“Why what?”
“Why are you wasting your time on me when you could literally have any girl on this campus?”
Anger sparked in his chest. He knew she’d been hurt by her ex—she’d tol
d him so—but to hear her talk about herself like that? So not fucking okay. “First of all, I’m not wasting my time because you are not a waste of time.” He closed the distance between them. “And second, if I could literally have any girl on this campus, I’d have you, and we wouldn’t be standing here having this ridiculous conversation.”
The corner of her mouth began to twitch, but she compressed her lips, like giving him the satisfaction of a smile was the worst thing in the world. He crossed his arms, his shoulders and back tight with tension. When she continued to remain silent, he raised a brow, waiting, challenging her to disagree.
“Okay, that was good.” Her smile finally formed, and the vibrancy of it sucked all the air from his lungs. “Like, really good.”
He stared at her, dumbfounded. Was she for real? Relief poured through him. “Jesus Christ,” he mumbled, running his shaking hand through his hair. Then he laughed. “Does this mean you’ll go out with me now?”
“No.” She laughed.
He shrugged. “It was worth a shot.”
“I’m sorry I assumed the worst.”
“Hey, you don’t have anything to apologize for. It’s fine.” He bent and picked up his books. “We’re good, though, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” He grinned. “So, a bunch of us are going to a movie in the park Saturday night. It’s like a drive-in, but without the cars. You bring blankets and chairs instead. It’s a group thing, so totally within the friend zone.”
“Who’s going?”
“Jason and Holly. Lucas and Mariah. Brittany. Me. Maybe a few other guys from Alpha house.”
“Can I invite Devon?”
The muscle in his jaw clenched. “Sure.” He really didn’t want Devon to go—he had a feeling it would be impossible to get closer to her with her best friend/bodyguard hanging around all night.
“Then count me in.”
“Would you have said yes if I’d said no to inviting Devon?” Great way to piss her off, dumb-ass. He needed to carry around a roll of duct tape so he could stop himself from saying stupid shit.