by Lexi Lawton
“What didn’t he do? It’s a much shorter list.”
He put both of his hands on her thighs. Her body was stiff again. “It’s okay to tell me.”
“Well, you know he cheated on me. I told you that already.” She lowered herself, putting her weight in all the right places, but she still didn’t relax.
“Yeah.” His heart rate spiked, and he sucked in a hard breath, trying to focus on what she was saying and not the fact she was straddling his growing erection.
“In the beginning, things were great. But our first Christmas together, we’d only been dating a couple of months, he told me he was traveling with his family, which is why he hadn’t invited me home with him. I found out later that was a lie. He just didn’t want me to meet his parents.”
Tanner ran his hands down her thighs then back up, hoping the soothing motion would help her relax. “I’d put you on a plane right now and fly you home with me. You could meet my parents, my brothers, my cousins. Hell, I’d even take you to the cemetery and introduce you to my dead grandparents.”
She laughed, and the tension in her legs disappeared.
But he wasn’t joking.
“Zach was very selfish. Everything was always about him—what he wanted to do, who he wanted to hang out with, where he wanted to go, what he wanted to eat, how he wanted to have sex. Who he wanted to have sex with.”
Tanner clenched his teeth. Acid rose in his throat. Hearing about Jules’s past sex life wasn’t something he wanted to endure, but more than that, he wanted to beat the dumb-ass for hurting her. What kind of dirt bag loser treats a woman like that?
“Sorry.” She frowned. “I’m sure you don’t want to hear about that.”
“I’m sorry. You deserve so much better.”
“He told me I wasn’t long-term material and…” She hung her head. “That hit me hard.”
He waited a beat, hoping she’d explain, but she didn’t. There was something in her tone, though. Something deeper than a shitty ex-boyfriend. “Where is he now?”
She looked up, her eyes hooded, preventing him from learning anything other than what she wanted him to know. “He graduated last semester.”
“He’s lucky.” Tanner rested his hands on her waist. “Because if I crossed his path, he wouldn’t be able to walk away on his own.” His tone was hard, and his words were clipped. He wasn’t a violent person, but he had no problem putting someone in their place, and her ex needed a taste of his own medicine.
“I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” She leaned forward, covering his mouth with hers. And then she bore down on him.
“Fuck,” he groaned, wrapping his arms around her and holding her down on him as he rocked his hips up. His cock was hard enough to crush steel, and there was no hiding it. Based on her small gasp and the way her tongue plunged frantically between his lips, he knew she felt him.
She dragged her fingers down his chest and then slipped her hands up his shirt, her fingertips tracing the lines of his abs. God, she had the softest touch. His stomach clenched, and he jerked forward involuntarily. Liquid heat pulsed through his veins, melting his nerve endings and igniting a diabolical slow burn inside of him.
“What would you like to talk about, then?” He could barely get the words out past his heavy breathing. Gently pushing her onto the couch, he brought his body down over hers. She hooked one leg around his waist as if she were afraid to lose the lower-body contact. “Personally, I’d like to know your thoughts on public displays of affection.” He eased his hand up her shirt, giving her waist a firm squeeze.
“Are you serious right now?”
“Oh, I’m very serious.” He nipped at her bottom lip. “I mean, if we’re going to keep seeing each other, I’d like to know what my limits are. Is kissing in public okay?” He parted her lips with his tongue and groaned with delight when she met his kiss, her tongue dueling with his.
“Mmm…kissing is definitely okay,” she murmured, her eyes still closed.
“What about holding hands?” He laced their fingers and pinned both of her hands above her head.
She nodded and then wiggled her hips, shredding his self-control. He pressed forward, and she gasped. Goddamn, he wanted her. He wanted to take his time peeling every stitch of clothing from her body, and then spend the entire day and night worshipping every gorgeous inch of her.
“What about this?” He pressed his lips to her neck, and she shuddered beneath him. His cock strained behind his zipper.
“Tanner.” She pulled her hands free from his and pushed against his chest. “As amazing as all of this feels, I don’t want to spend the day on your couch dry humping like two teenagers who don’t know how to do the real thing.”
“My room’s not far from here. I could take you there instead.”
She laughed. “Not really what I meant.”
“No?” He grinned.
“No,” she said breathlessly. “I think it’s best if we take things slow.”
Disappointment filled him. He hadn’t been with a woman in months, and he wanted Juliana in a way he’d never wanted anyone before. “Okay, no pressure.” Rolling to the side, he wedged himself against the back of the couch so he was positioned behind her, and then he draped his arm over her. “When you’re ready, I’ll be ready.”
“Seriously?”
“What?” Alarm bells went off in his head. What had he said wrong?
She twisted around until she was lying on her side facing him. “Do you have like a mental list of the perfect things to say? Because you are always saying the right things at the right time.”
He blinked, stared at her for a second, then laughed. “No. I’m just speaking the truth.”
“Well, thank you.” She snuggled closer, burying her face against his chest like she’d done at the park during the movies. They hadn’t even kissed that night, but then, like now, he knew he wanted to spend a lot more nights holding her.
He placed a kiss to the top of her head. “What do you want to do today?”
She gave an awkward shrug. “Honestly, I’d be fine staying like this for a while.”
“Me, too.” He pulled her closer.
Chapter Fifteen
Juliana had spent the day at Tanner’s apartment. They’d taken a nap, which had been glorious, watched movies, ordered food, and talked. And there had been a lot of kissing. She was sure her lips would be numb for days, but it was worth it.
She unlocked her door and stepped into the room. Rebecca jumped up from her bed the second she saw her. “You didn’t tell me Tanner was the guy you’ve been seeing.” Her tone was accusatory and argumentative.
“I didn’t realize you knew him. Or that it mattered.” She took her cell phone from her pocket and set it on the desk. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on edge.
“Have you slept with him yet?” Rebecca demanded, arms crossed.
“That’s really none of your business.” What was with her and sex? Didn’t she ever think about anything else?
“I’ll take that as a no.” Rebecca smirked. “Did he tell you about us?”
Counting slowly to ten in her mind, she turned to face her roommate. Her stomach was a tightly wound ball of dread, and each passing second made the knot clench more. “He told me you two met at a party.” And you’re a bat-shit crazy stalker who won’t leave him alone.
Rebecca huffed and rolled her eyes. “Is that all he told you?”
Unease coiled inside of her, quickly morphing into something bitter that had nausea rising hot and fast in her throat. “Is there more?” She sat on her bed and tucked her shaking hands under her legs. Please don’t let there be more. She wouldn’t be able to handle finding out Tanner had lied to her. Or that she’d been dumb enough to fall for another guy like Zach.
“A lot more.” Rebecca sat on her own bed, facing Juliana. “We’ve hooked up. Quite a few times. In fact, any time he needs to get off, he calls me.”
Oh God. Juliana bit down on her bottom lip to s
top it from trembling. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing all of this to be some horrible nightmare. But when she opened her eyes, Rebecca was there, fake compassion in her gaze. A bubble of anger ruptured inside of her.
“I’m his go-to girl for that kind of stuff.” She gave a smug smile.
She’s lying. She has to be lying. Juliana leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and dropping her face into her hands. Tears burned her eyes, and she couldn’t swallow around the lump in her throat, which was threatening to choke her.
“When I’m here texting and then I suddenly get up and leave? It’s because of Tanner,” Rebecca continued.
Christ, she actually sounded proud of the fact she was nothing but a booty call. Juliana wrapped her arm around her stomach and inhaled through her nose, praying she wouldn’t blow chunks all over the floor. Tanner had sworn on his life he’d never slept with Rebecca. Why would he lie to her? Why would all of his friends lie to her about Rebecca stalking him? The only explanation was that Rebecca was the liar here. But why? She had nothing to gain by doing this, did she?
“It’s a good thing you haven’t slept with him, and if I were you, I wouldn’t. I’d stay far away from him, because he’ll only use you for sex. Believe me, I know.” She stood and grabbed the tube of lipstick Juliana had given her and applied a thick coat. She smacked her lips together. “He’s not the settling down type. I’ve been trying for almost a year now to get him to commit, and he won’t.”
Juliana put her head between her legs, breathing deeply. This was not happening again. It wasn’t. Slowly, she lifted her head to glare at her roommate.
“I’m sorry you had to find out like this, but it’s better you know now, before you do something you might regret,” Rebecca said.
She didn’t regret a damn thing about the time she’d spent with Tanner, or kissing him, or telling him about her past with Zach. “Okay, that’s enough.” Juliana stood and balled her hands into fists. “I’m not talking to you about this.”
I need to get out of this room. She gathered her shower caddy and noticed her basket of clean laundry was sitting near the head of Rebecca’s bed. What the hell? Stomping across the room, she grabbed the basket. The toe of her foot slipped on something, and she lifted her leg. A used condom hung from the bottom of her shoe. “Are you fucking kidding me?” She scraped her foot on the trash can. “That’s disgusting, Rebecca.”
Laughing like it was no big deal, she waved her hand dismissively. “When you’re in the middle of things, aiming for the garbage is the last thing on your mind.”
Jules could feel the color fade from her face, and a sticky, cold sweat broke out on the nape of her neck. There’d be no stopping the vomit this time.
…
The following morning, Juliana sat in class, anxiously waiting for Tanner to arrive. She’d spent all night tossing and turning, replaying her day with him, analyzing every word he’d said, reliving every kiss. Her heart was telling her he wasn’t lying, but the damn nagging voice in the back of her mind disagreed. Once before she’d ignored that voice and followed her heart, and, well, that had gone to shit real fast. She turned to stare out the window, frowning. She needed to talk to Devon. He always knew what to do.
“I have literally been waiting all night to see your gorgeous face.” Tanner set a cup of coffee in front of her then leaned over and captured her lips in a sweet kiss.
Her eyes fluttered closed, and she returned his kiss a little too eagerly considering where they were and how jumbled her thoughts were about him. “Morning.” She smiled against his lips then pulled away. “You brought me coffee?”
“Yep.” He rounded the lab table and took his seat next to her. Then he held up a bag. “Brought you a donut, too.” His eyes twinkled with mischief, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a sexy half grin.
She sighed. Why did he have to be so sweet? “Did you bring napkins this time?”
He laughed, and a stabbing pain seized her chest. She didn’t want him to be like her ex. She wanted Tanner to be different, to be the kind of guy she could count on, the kind of guy she thought he was, the kind of guy she could fall in love with.
“I had napkins last time,” he reminded her, handing her the bag.
She opened it and peeked inside. There was a single cinnamon donut with a thick stack of napkins. Her heart melted, and she refused to acknowledge the sting of tears forming behind her eyes.
Dr. Shaw arrived and promptly started class, but she was too distracted to pay attention, and she made a handful of careless mistakes during the lab. And Tanner had noticed, because he kept raising his eyebrow and giving her odd looks, but he hadn’t said anything. Class ended, and she shoved her lab book into her backpack.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Tanner took her hand, lacing their fingers.
“Nothing. Why?”
“Jules.” He sounded slightly annoyed. “Please don’t lie to me.”
She almost snorted at the hypocrisy of his request. Providing, of course, he was the liar in this situation, which she wasn’t 100 percent sure of. “Rebecca told me a bunch of stuff last night, and I don’t know what’s true and what isn’t.”
The easy grin had slipped from his face, replaced with a hard scowl. “C’mon.” He led her out of Fallon Hall and across the quad, stopping only once he found an empty bench. “All right. What did she say?” He was no-nonsense, and she immediately missed the fun, playful side of him.
Juliana gave him the condensed version of her argument with Rebecca, leaving out the part about stepping on a used condom. That still grossed her out.
“Wow.” Tanner blew out a breath and rubbed his hands over his face. “And you believe her?”
She averted her gaze and shrugged. She was basically calling him a liar to his face, and that left a bad taste in her mouth. He’d done nothing to make her distrust him, but it was like an addiction she couldn’t kick. A “get them before they get her” mentality. An unwanted parting gift from Zach.
“That hurts, Jules.” His voice was low and full of pain.
She jerked her head up, meeting his gaze. “I’m sorry.” She blinked rapidly, hoping she’d win the battle against the tears that seemed intent on falling no matter what she did or said.
“I didn’t lie to you.” He nearly spat he was so angry. “You can ask anyone in the Alpha house. Hell, ask any guy in any frat on this campus. Rebecca has a reputation, and not a good one. The nicest thing I’ve heard anyone call her is a manipulative liar.”
She’d seen firsthand how easygoing Rebecca was, and in a completely depraved sort of way, Juliana was jealous of Rebecca’s confidence to do whatever she wanted without a care for what anyone thought.
His cheeks were red, and his eyes were wild. “I did not have sex with her. Ever!”
She’d never seen him so mad before. Granted, she’d be pissed, too, if someone she liked had called her a liar.
“If you still don’t believe me, I’ll call both of my brothers right now. They were there the night she was hitting on me. They can tell you how it went down.” He reached for his cell phone.
Jules put her hand on his wrist, stopping him. “You don’t have to do that.” His offer to prove himself was enough to calm her worries. “We both have to get to class, but we’ll talk about this later, okay?” She stood.
Tanner stood as well, and, faster than she could react, he had her pressed against his chest, his mouth covering hers. His kisses always left her breathless and dizzy, but this one made her want to weep it was so tender. Longing and sweet. She let her bag slide off her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He groaned in a way that made her body throb for him.
He broke the kiss and rested his forehead to hers, his hands framing her face. “I need you to believe me,” he whispered.
She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. It was on the tip of her tongue to say she did, but she wasn’t sure of that yet. “I need to get to class. We’ll talk later. Promise.”
He bent down, picked up her bag, and eased the strap over her shoulder. “I’ll meet you here as soon as class is over.”
She nodded. He walked in the opposite direction toward his class, and she blew out a pent-up breath. Even after how she just treated him, he was still being a gentleman. Maybe it wasn’t him she needed to worry about, because right now, she was questioning whether she deserved someone like him.
Instead of going to class, she texted Devon. Hey. Need to talk. U around?
Devon: What’s wrong? Where are you?
A hint of a smile curved her lips. She could always count on him. In the quad. She sat back down and scrolled through Instagram, waiting for Devon’s reply, which never came.
He showed up a few minutes later and sat beside her. “What’s going on?” His voice was full of concern. “I swear to God, if Tanner—”
“He didn’t do anything. At least, I don’t think he did.” She scrunched up her face in confusion. For someone who wasn’t sure she could trust him, she was quick to defend him.
“Okay,” he said, drawing out the word. “You’re going to have to give me a little more to go on.”
“So, I found out yesterday my roommate knows Tanner. They met at a party. She wanted more, he didn’t. He swears nothing ever happened, but Rebecca says—”
“Wait.” He held up his hand. “Rebecca who?”
Goose bumps scattered across her arms. “Rebecca Morris.”
“Okay, enough said.”
She tilted her head. “What?” Clearly she was missing something important here.
“I can promise you anything she’s said is either a boldfaced lie or an extreme exaggeration of the truth.”
“She claims she’s Tanner’s go-to booty call.” Juliana crossed her arms, not at all thrilled with how flippant Devon was being about the whole thing.
Devon laughed. “Right, and I’ve got brass balls.” He shook his head and turned to face her. “Please tell me you talked to Tanner about this.”