by Prax Venter
“Well, we know there are monsters somewhere…” Jack said, searching the area, but nothing jumped out at him. The front lawn looked freshly mowed, and there were a trio of old, weather-beaten garden gnomes standing guard in front of a row of yellow tulips. A kid’s bicycle lay abandoned in the grass where it fell, and pastel drapes inside the open windows fluttered with the gentle wind.
The home was peaceful, and Jack wondered when that peace was going to be shattered by its murderous inhabitants.
“Let’s check to see who’s home, shall we?” Jack said as he started walking toward the front door. When he got close enough, he kicked at one of the gnomes, its face worn away by time and rain. He prepared to Double Strike it, but the lawn ornament quietly fell to its side.
“Can never be too careful with these,” he said to Lex, who regarded him with amusement.
Jack reached for the tarnished brass knob intending to slowly push it open, but the door had other plans. It pivoted forward from the bottom at blinding speed and slammed him to the cement patio block at his feet.
Jack -50 | HP 302/352
Lex and Alt dodged backward as the animated wooden door lifted off him for another assault. In the instant he had, Jack rolled to the side and into the flower bed, coming face to worn-off face with the garden gnome he’d kicked over a moment ago.
He expected the thing to bite his nose, but the tacky inanimate object did not react at all.
Back on the stoop, Lex took the second downward slam from the pissed-off door on her shield and countered with a jab from her sword.
Mimic Door -56 | HP 312/368
After finding a safe position in the yard, Angry Sun Alt narrowed his black half-moon eyes and sent out his beams of pure energy over the Bastion’s shoulder, applying double Jack’s Main Hand damage.
Mimic Door -132 | HP 180/368
Jack got his boots under him as he trampled the tulips and added his Mining Laser attack to the fight. With the whole team engaged, the door went down quickly and vanished in a buzz of static.
“That sucked,” Jack said, brushing the dirt off his sealion leather pants.
“Are we intended to fight all the doors?” Lex asked, peeking into the quiet farmhouse.
Jack joined the Bastion and surveyed around the interior. He could see a central room with a fireplace and a few upholstered chairs, a kitchen with a wood-burning, potbelly stove, and a flight of stairs leading up to the second floor.
“Who knows,” he said, “but you’re opening the next one.”
Lex turned to him and healed his wounds with a pleasant melody before she led the party into the house. At first, Jack had felt bad making the woman he loved take on the heaviest damage, but over time he’d come to accept that was her role, and she’d actually become upset when not receiving the brunt of the hits.
They moved down a hallway that ran along the edge of the living room and toward the back of the house. There were pictures on the wall to his right of the people who probably were intended to live here: an elderly couple, a baby on a fur rug, a teenager flying a kite. Seeing the intricate, lived-in detail of this Floor layout made Jack feel slight vertigo combined with a twinge of homesickness. This was very similar to his grandparents’ house he’d visited a few times in Michigan. It even had that “other-person” smell.
The Bastion drew her blade before bracing her shield and reaching out with the tip. She was not going to get jumped by another Mimic Door. However, nothing happened after a swift poke, so she tried turning the knob instead. The passive door swung open, its rusty hinges creaking softly.
Looking over her shoulder, Jack saw a clothesline with a sheet and several pairs of boxer shorts attached with clothespins and swaying under a clear blue sky.
“Now what?” she asked.
Jack shrugged. “We sweep the place.”
They turned around and searched the first floor, looking for more doors or anything out of the ordinary. Alt’s current form was powerful, but he had very little in the way of hit points. Jack considered changing him into something more resilient but waited until they knew more about what they were facing on this intricate Floor before committing to the one change he was allotted.
During their careful search, Jack noticed an old icebox in the kitchen and paused the instant before he reached out to open the door. Was this another Mimic Door?
“Hey guys…” he said, backing away. Lex joined him in the kitchen while the hovering Angry Sun stayed in the hallway.
“What is that? Another device from your world?” she asked.
“Sorta,” Jack said. “It’s old technology, but you put ice in the top part and food in the bottom part.”
“Why?” Lex asked, creeping toward the white, metal box.
Alt answered. “In our old worlds, Lex, food would spoil over time. If it was kept cold, that time was extended.”
She didn’t respond as she was more focused on the potential threat to their team in front of her. With a quick jab, her sword scraped off a line of white paint. But nothing else happened.
Jack stepped forward to see what interesting, and possibly edible things he would find in these people’s fridge when the iron stove across the kitchen belched out a fireball that engulfed them both in searing agony.
Lex -52 | HP 465/517
Jack -52 | HP 300/352
“Damn it!” Jack shouted, dancing backward and pointing his sword at the previously inconspicuous oven. Both he and Alt, who was thankfully out of range, targeted the bent stovepipe over Lex’s head while she rushed it with her sword.
Mimic Stove -92 | 230/322
Jack +1 HP | 301/352
Mimic Stove -132 | HP 98/322
Mimic Stove Critical! -79 | Defeated
With all three of them focused on doling out the damage, and Lex’s critical, the deceptive monster faded to nothing before getting out another fireball.
Jack let out a sigh and pulled up his Alter Alt menu. His eyes quickly scanned the list and settled on Canine Protector, an angular metal dog. The summon had high survivability and could emit an audio attack that sounded like a slowed-down bark, but the tradeoff was the mid-range bark only dealt Jack’s Main-Hand damage instead of doubling it.
After he was sure Alt wouldn’t be taken out with a surprise attack, Jack continued with his plan to raid the fridge. He was hoping for an apple pie or something. The small farmhouse screamed ‘apple pie cooling on the windowsill’. Unfortunately, there was only a lot of raw meat.
Jack eyed a thick, uncooked cut of beef and sighed.
“Too bad the stove had to die. I really miss steak.”
The reflective metal dog that was Alt padded close to Jack to inspect the fridge himself.
“With this next Town Level,” the AI said from the chrome canine’s mouth, “the Farm will grow to accommodate more livestock pens. And because I’m not forcing the update this time, they should be filled with more traditional domesticated animals.”
Jack looked down to the talking robot dog. “You mean cows?”
“Or pigs, or chickens…”
Lex crossed her arms. “I really hope it’s not chickens.”
Alt turned to face the Bastion, and although his sharp chrome face didn’t change, Jack could have sworn he saw the dog’s eyebrows waggle.
“I could always nudge it one way or the another,” the cheating AI said.
“Oh man…” Jack said, putting his hand to his forehead. “Pork chops and bacon versus steaks.”
“Don’t forget milk and cheese,” Lex added. “I vote cows.”
Jack sighed. Bacon was good… but cheese, though.
“Good call,” he said finally. “I vote cows too.”
Lex let out a light giggle that Jack found irresistible. “Ryea is going to get a lot more work on the Farm.” She then stepped toward him and Healed them both to full with a wordless tune.
The group moved around the first floor, poking everything with their blades but neither the chairs, the tables, nor t
he figurine collection of porcelain clowns came to life. The group moved up the stairway led by Lex and began the process again. The first room at the top of the stairs was the bathroom, and they all paused when they saw the suspicious wooden chest sitting in front of the toilet.
“I bet you five coins that’s not a real chest.”
“You think it’s a Mimic like the door and the stove?” Lex said. “I don’t know… It’s probably trapped, but I don’t think it fits the strange theme of the Floor. It’s too out of place here.” The short blonde in leather armor looked over at him. “I’ll take that bet.”
Jack shot her a grin. “You’re on,” he said as he stepped into the tile floor of the bathroom.
“Wait,” Lex said, grabbing his arm. “If it is a monster, I should be the one to test it.”
Jack bowed slightly and held out his hand. “Ladies first.”
The Bastion stepped into the dimly lit bathroom and held her hand out to the chest. The moment she did, a spray of small daggers exploded in every direction from the round-topped wooden box. Since they were already on their guard, Jack and Alt both dodged the few that came through the door, and Lex blocked most with her shield but took one in the leg.
Lex -78 | HP 439/517
Jack poked his head in as Lex finished looting the chest and stopped counting at twelve daggers sunk hilt-deep into the flower-patterned wallpaper.
The non-mimic chest vanished, and she spun to face him with a smile growing on her lips.
A moment later a trade window appeared, and on the ‘Offered by Lex’ side of the black lacquer panel was a single item.
Soap on a Rope - [Artifact | Value 2,000]
“Woah!” Jack said. “We haven’t seen one of these in a while. I can’t believe it’s only soap.”
“I don’t see five coins on your side of the trade, Jack.”
With a sideways grin, he moved the wagered amount over to his side of the transaction and hit accept.
Lex put on an overly smug expression and said, “Thank you very much.” Then she panned her golden eyes around the bathroom, her attention lingering at the toilet and shower. She poked everything in range, but nothing responded. “Is this strange room something from your world? It looks like some sort of ritual was carried out here.”
Jack blinked as his brain was hit with the reminder that he had never once showered or had to relieve himself since entering System Sana.
“No… uh,” Jack said and then looked down to the metal dog by his side for help.
Alt shook his angular canine head. “You’re on your own here.”
Jack rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to figure out how he was going to describe toilets and a shower to a person who had never had a use for either.
“In my old world, people… uh, the rules were different. How dirt worked was different, and people needed to rinse themselves off with soap and water, pretty much every day, or they would start to smell funny. And you know what? I’m not going to even try with the toilet. Let’s keep searching for Mimics.”
“Okay,” Lex said, stepping out of the bathroom. “But I want to learn all there is to know about you, Jack. Maybe we can discuss toilets over dinner later.”
Alt couldn’t help himself and telepathically chuckled inside Jack’s head.
“Yeah…” Jack said out loud as he glanced down the hallway of the farmhouse’s second floor while Lex topped off her health again. He really hoped she forgot about it by then, but knowing her, she wouldn’t.
There were two more rooms left to explore in the whole house, one on the right and one at the end of the hall. Lex led them into the first room, and Jack immediately recognized that it belonged to a child.
A fluffy blue comforter covered the bed, and a wooden box filled with old-timey toys like blocks and tops sat under an open window. A hundred pieces of an unfinished jigsaw puzzle were scattered around a medium-sized rocking horse in one of the corners.
Jack turned to the Canine Protector. “Alt, watch the door as we sweep this room, okay?”
“Got it.”
“Want to bet it’s this horse sculpture?” Lex said, creeping up to it.
“No, you ride-” was all Jack got out before the wooden toy slid forward and tried to ram Lex with its head. She was prepared though and caught the Mimic on her shield with a loud thud.
There was little room to maneuver, so Jack jumped into the bed, his boots sinking into the soft mattress while Lex hacked downward at the cornered monster.
Mimic Hobby Horse -56 | 319/375
Its painted eyes rolled in its head as the creature reared back on the curved rails attached to its legs and tried to smash its head into the Bastion again, but she was a professional and kept the foe trapped in the corner.
Now that he was in a better position, Jack unleashed his Mining Laser on the creature as Alt dashed forward under Lex’s shield and proceeded to bark soundwaves at the mimic.
Mimic Hobby Horse -94 | 225/375
Mimic Hobby Horse -66 | 159/375
The fight might have gone differently if it had gotten the jump on them, but because of Lex’s sharp instincts, the battle was over without a single point of damage dealt to their team.
Jack jumped down off the bed and put his hand on her back.
“That’s how it’s done! Great Bastion work there, Lex.”
She gave him a warm grin in acknowledgment and then proceeded to stab everything else in the room. There didn’t seem to be any other enemies in here, so they moved to the last room of the house.
When Jack poked his head in and looked around, he could tell this was the master bedroom. A king-size bed took up most of the space, but there was an armoire, a big potted plant, and a pedal-powered sewing machine that were all Mimic contenders.
“Well?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Since you’re our Mimic expert, which one is it?”
Lex didn’t answer as she slowly crept into the final room, her shield raised, and her attention focused. She was approaching the armoire when the huge bed flipped upward in a blur, hitting the Bastion in her side and pinning her to the wall.
Lex -91 | HP 426/517
“Mmmph!” She tried to yell something, but she was smothered by the huge monster, and if the creaking wood of its frame was any indication, it was crushing her.
Jack dashed in and hacked at the underside of the bed while activating Double Strike.
Mimic Bed -66 | 339/405
Mimic Bed -66 | 273/405
A moment later, Alt was next to him and barking out ripples of damaging sound waves.
Mimic Bed -66 | 207/405
The sentient bed was not giving up and kept its weight pressing on Lex.
Lex -145 Critical! | HP 281/517
Terror gripped Jack when he realized that she wouldn’t be able to sing or use her Aether Tone abilities while she was being suffocated. He clenched his jaw and hit the thing with another Double Strike, trying to pull its attention off Lex while his canine companion continued to bark.
Mimic Bed -66 | 141/405
Mimic Bed -66 | 75/405
Mimic Bed -66 | 9/405
The thing was almost dead, but its last act was to deal one more round of damage to the trapped Bastion.
Lex -91 | HP 190/517
With a point-blank Mining Laser, Jack finished the terrible thing.
Mimic Bed -94 | Defeated
It vanished with a buzzing static, and his love was free. The Bastion slumped to her knees on the floor, sucking in deep breaths. Jack instantly rushed down to her side.
“I could have lost you…” he said quietly. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”
She looked into his eyes and laid her hand on his. They sat there on the floor, just breathing while Alt guarded their backs. After Lex caught her breath, she squeezed his hand.
“You’d continue to fight our real enemy, or I’d be very angry with you.”
Jack nodded. He’d recently been yelling at people like her father for g
iving up after a soul-crushing loss, but- if he was being honest with himself- he seriously questioned his ability to follow his own advice.
Lex got to her feet, and Jack gave her some room while she sang to heal herself to full HP.
“We’ve been taking a lot of damage,” she said afterward. “I’m down to 52 mana.”
Jack considered calling it here, but she still had her ace up her sleeve. He turned his eyes to the chrome canine standing in the doorway.
“I think we’ve been going about this the wrong way- or should I say, ‘barking up the wrong tree’.”
Lex’s brows came down. “What do you mean? You think the tree outside is a Mimic?”
“He means,” the dog said, “that I should take point from now on and bark at everything in sight.”
They left the house and began to search the yard for more hidden monsters. Jack wasn’t suggesting the tree was a Mimic, but it was as valid a place to start as anywhere else. After Alt’s deep woofing, the tire swing continued lazily twisting in the gentle breeze, so they moved on. The bicycle and the clothesline in the back were also cleared as inanimate objects, leaving the huge red barn left to be searched.
The dim structure was filled will all manner of farming equipment, bales of hay, and firewood. Jack eyed a rack of sharpened tools, including a nasty-looking scythe, and turned to Lex.
“Whatever you do, don’t Shout in here.”
She didn’t, and with Alt now taking the lead and barking at everything from a distance, there were no more surprises. A rusty plow responded first, and Alt sprinted out of the barn with the wrought-iron blade sliding after him like a shark fin through the grass. Together, they were able to defeat the farming implement without taking any damage. The new plan was working well, and the metallic dog repeated the process of barking and running.
A three-pronged pitchfork responded next, and it zipped through the air as it chased the chrome dog around the yard. Jack burned it down all by himself with his Mining Laser, and they were all surprised when the pointy tool didn’t change targets.
“I believe this Floor’s enemies always stay focused on their first target,” Lex suggested.
“I wonder what the Boss is going to be,” he said, searching the property for anything they didn’t check yet. “Maybe the people who live here will come home when we wipe out all the Mimics.”