by Rebecca Ann
“I understand why you’re doing this,” Jackie said. “And I’ll help in any way I can. I just wish there was another way.” She shifted her one-year-old son Luke from one arm to the other.
“Me too. But until we figure out what that way is, this is the only option,” I said, my voice rough with exhaustion. “I’m looking into the program on Ada.”
Jackie’s intake of breath was loud in the silent hallway. “Victoria, you know how a lot of LIs feel about Ada.”
“I know. It’s why I’m researching.” I put a hand on her arm. “The resistance will figure this out. I promise.” I kept my voice low, filled with the compassion our people desperately needed. “Now, what time do you want to donate?” I rattled off the options available.
“Tomorrow at five would be best,” Jackie said. “I signed up to be a teacher, and I don’t want to be tired during the day.”
“I understand. I’ll see you tomorrow!” I took Luke’s tiny hand and kissed it. “Bye, sweet boy.”
As I walked the few feet to my apartment, tears filled my eyes. I’d come down here to help keep the lights on but was quickly discovering we needed more than just that, especially with Lindsey on Ada. I sucked in a breath as a rush of anger poured over me. My body warmed. I hadn’t let myself think about Lindsey, afraid it would keep me from doing my job. I punched in the code and walked inside, uttering a hello to Shannon, who sat on the couch, as I went to our room. Folding up my cane, I put it on the bed and took out the net-screen. I’d left the memory card from yesterday in there and went right to the app that would let me play it. As the video came to life, I lay down. Hopefully hearing my mom’s voice would calm me down somewhat.
“Hi, honey.”
I exhaled. The tension that had been with me all morning melted away. A little, at least.
“Happy birthday! I can’t believe it! You’re fourteen now! Your dad keeps me informed of everything you’re doing, and I’m so proud of you for getting chosen to speak at a history conference. And I can’t wait to meet your friend Lindsey!”
I sat up, pressing pause. Wait! She’d known about Lindsey all those years ago? Dad had been talking to her about me back then? But why hadn’t he told me? I snatched up my pillow and squeezed, pressing my face into it. I had to stay objective if I was going to research the program on Ada, and that info wouldn’t be found in my mother’s videos.
“You’re watching it again?”
I looked over at Shannon. “Yeah, and I wish I hadn’t. Turns out my dad was telling her about me at age fourteen. She even knew about Lindsey.” I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. “Thanks for helping me with scheduling today.”
“You’re welcome. Did she say anything else?”
“I haven’t finished listening. I don’t think I’m going to find much about Ada’s program in these videos. I’m going to have to talk to her. I just—I don’t believe she’s telling the truth.”
Shannon sat down next to me. “It’s understandable. You hardly know her, and for all we know, she could be working for Carmella and using this whole program thing to get us back there so Carmella can experiment on us again.”
I glared at her. “Why did you have to put that in my head?” I sighed and lay down, curling into a ball. “I just wish I knew what to do. I want to go to Ada to find Lindsey, but I’m barely off the pill. I’ve practiced with my powers once since we got here.”
“Well, maybe Bethany can help us again,” Shannon suggested. “If I see her in the dining hall, I’ll ask her. Maybe take half a dose and see what that does?”
I shrugged. “Okay, I guess. It still scares me, but that’s a good idea.”
“I’ve never tried taking half, but I’ve heard it doesn’t completely take away your abilities, it just lessens the intensity, I think.” Shannon sat on my bed, putting on her shoes. “You want me to bring you something back from the dining hall?”
“Yes. I want to watch some more of these videos.”
Shannon headed for the door. “I know you want to be brave, but going cold turkey might not be the way to do it. Take half a pill.”
“I will. Now go and get us some food.”
“Mommy?” Sarah asked from outside the room. “I’m hungry! Can we go to dinner now?”
“Yes, honey.”
Sarah smiled and looked at me. “Are you coming too?”
I shook my head. “Not this time. You’ll just have to bring something back for me, okay?
“’Kay!”
As their voices faded, I picked up the net-screen again but barely had time to press play before the front door slammed open. “Shannon?”
“No, Bethany!”
I got off the bed and went into the sitting room. “Bethany? How did you get in here?” I shuffled my feet, arms out, jumping slightly when my knees hit the back of a chair. I ran my hands over it until I found the seat. I didn’t sit down right away.
“Shannon let me in. I saw her outside the apartment, and she said you guys were looking for someone to help you practice.” Excitement radiated from her like a bright light. “And I’d love to help!”
“Okay,” I said with a smile that reached my eyes. I’d known Bethany for years. She was a good kid. “It would be good for you to practice teaching someone else. That’s what you wanna do anyway, right?”
Bethany’s arms came around me in a hug that nearly knocked us both onto the chair I hadn’t yet sat down in. “Thank you! Thank you! You won’t regret this!” Pulling back, she sat down on the couch. “We can look for a practice spot after dinner.”
Dread twisted my stomach, and I sighed. “I know you’re an excellent student. This is just really scary for me. I haven’t been off the pill long. I’m thinking of taking half a dose to start out with.”
“I know, but you don’t have to be scared anymore. I know some really awesome tricks to help you overcome your fear. My mom taught me.” Bethany spoke with such confidence that, for a few seconds, excitement fluttered in my stomach. “Right now, I’m starving. Let me go grab some food, and then we can talk to Mr. Babcock about a place to practice.” She headed for the door as it opened. “Shannon! Just in time! I’m gonna grab some dinner, and then we’ll find a place to practice.”
“That’ll have to wait. Rick is holding a resistance meeting in a few minutes. I think he’s going to talk about what to do next now that Lindsey has been arrested. I got some bagels. It’s all I had time to grab.”
I said nothing as I pulled out a chocolate-chip bagel and took a bite. A spark left the pointer finger on my left hand, and I took a breath as another one followed seconds later. I didn’t want to go to the meeting like this, but if I was going to convince Rick to let me go to Ada, I had to attend. I’d wanted to wait until I was more prepared, but with Lindsey’s arrest, it was only a matter of time before we would be discovered.
“Is she coming back?” Lily asked as the apartment door opened. “Why did she get herself arrested? She promised she wouldn’t! I hate her!” Lily darted across the room, but Diane grabbed her by the arm. “No! Let go!”
“Not until you calm down.” Diane took Lily over to the couch. “I know you’re angry, but you don’t hate your sister.”
“I hate her right now! She promised she’d never leave me!” A sob broke through Lily’s words, and she hit the couch with her palm. “I want to go find her, Mom! I want to go to Ada!”
“No. Absolutely not! There are people up top being forced to go there against their will. We’re safe down here, and that is where we’re going to stay.”
I stuck the last piece of bagel into my mouth, dusted off my hands, then went over to the couch. “Lily,” I said as I sat down. “I’m angry at her too, but we don’t know what happened to make her do what she did.”
“Victoria, I need to go to the meeting Rick’s holding.” Diane kissed Lily on the head. “Be good. Try and calm down. I’ll be back.”
“I’m coming too!” I got to my feet, disappeared into my room, slipped on my shoes, and g
rabbed my cane. “What is this meeting about?” I asked as I walked back into the sitting room, cane tucked under my right arm.
“It’s to discuss what to do next,” Diane spoke up as she opened the front door. “Lily and Sarah will be fine for an hour. They’re in their room reading.”
I unfolded my cane and stepped out into the hall. As we headed down the steps into the empty street, I shivered. I swiped my cane from side to side, the gravel crunching underneath my feet. We made our way into the conference room. I took a seat in a chair at the end of the table.
“I want to thank you all for coming,” Rick said from the end of the table. “I know there are some new members here who haven’t been officially sworn in, but we don’t have a lot of time for that.” He cleared his throat. “As some of you know, my daughter Lindsey was arrested yesterday and is on her way to Ada. I had a chance to speak with Mark Fisher, who is also being sent to Ada. They’re going to check into this program Princess Madalina keeps talking about. Things up top are getting worse. With Lindsey on Ada, there’s a high chance Controllers will be able to get into her thoughts and our location will be discovered.”
“So, what do we do?” Shannon asked. “There’s more than just LIs down here, Rick. My father and his people from Ada who have been hiding down here for twenty years are also at risk.”
I stared at the table, hands in my lap as Shannon’s words washed over me. Here I was about to beg to go to Ada when it was Shannon’s worst nightmare.
“You don’t even know if we’re at risk,” Shannon continued. “Have you heard from Lindsey? Maybe no one has found out. You’re jumping the gun here, Rick.”
Rick sighed. “I haven’t heard from her, but it’s only a matter of time. And I just learned that Bill Thompson is bringing someone here who has been in prison on Ada for the last twenty-three years.”
I jerked my head in his direction, body numb. Was he talking about my mother? It couldn’t be. A knock sounded at the door. I turned as it opened. Two figures stepped into the room, their faces lost in the darkness.
“I’m sorry to interrupt.” Dad’s voice floated across the room like a warm summer breeze. “I need to steal Victoria for a few minutes.”
I grabbed my cane and, on shaking legs, walked to the door. As Dad moved aside, my mouth went dry. The smell of old coffee churned my stomach, and my footsteps squeaked on the hardwood floor. “You brought my mother here?” I blurted once the door closed. It took effort to keep my voice at a reasonable volume. “Why would you do that? Where is she?” I glanced at the door that would lead us up top. I would go through those doors right now if it meant escaping this conversation.
“She’s at your apartment, waiting for you. I had orders from Madalina to bring her. She found out about the hiding place and wanted your mother to convince people that the program on Ada is a good thing.”
I put a hand to my forehead, already pounding with a headache, and took a deep breath. I had to remain calm. It wasn’t Dad’s fault—except that he’d brought her here. “Dad, she just put everyone at risk! You do realize that, right? She may be my mom, but she’s been in the palace with Queen Carmella. Who knows what sort of lies that woman has told her. Who knows if this program is even legit?”
“I know, honey. I know. Your mother was skeptical too at first, but she’s been watching Madalina for several months now and really believes this program is the way to our people’s freedom. Talk to her. Give her a chance to explain.”
“And what do you think? You think it’s legit?” If there was one person whose answer I trusted, it was Dad’s. “Tell me the honest truth.”
Dad sighed the way he always did when contemplating something. “It’s hard to say. I trust Madalina. I’ve known her for years, and I think she’s doing her best to make sure LIs feel safe and free on Ada, but that doesn’t mean Carmella isn’t working behind the scenes.”
I sighed. “Then I want to go and find Lindsey. I want to see Ada for myself. Rick said he talked to Mark and he is checking this program out, but Lindsey could be in prison somewhere and—”
“She’s actually going to be a Royal Watcher. She made a deal with Madalina.”
I stared at him. “Wait, what? How did that happen?” I shook my head. “Never mind. I still want to. I was going to wait a couple weeks, but I need to go as soon as possible.” I couldn’t keep the urgency out of my voice.
Dad sighed again. “Okay. I’ll take you, but give your mom a chance. Give her a couple days with you at least.”
I nodded, not sure how to respond. Oh, I’d give Elizabeth a couple weeks if necessary. I was going to Ada, no matter what it took. “So, she’s in my apartment?” A spark flew into the door across the hall, leaving a giant hole. But I’d worry about it later. “I’ll see you there.” I flew through the doors of the conference room and across the lobby. My footsteps slowed as I reached the porch, and I took my time on the steps. I needed time to process this and prepare for the moment I’d dreamed of for twenty years: seeing my mother in person.
“SO, YOU REALLY THINK this program is legit?”
Shannon’s voice came from the living room as I opened the apartment door a couple of hours later. I’d been walking up and down the street, lost in thought and trying to come to terms with the fact my mother was here. A spark left my fingers as I walked inside. The room was dark, lit by one lamp on the table by the wall near my bedroom. It cast a glow on Elizabeth’s blonde hair.
“I do,” Elizabeth answered with the utmost confidence. “I’ve worked alongside Princess Madalina through this whole process. Queen Carmella doesn’t have anything to do with this program. Madalina’s making sure she’s completely in charge of it.”
“What about the experiments?” Shannon asked as I folded up my cane, trying to stay as quiet as possible. “I can’t risk going to a place where I’ll be put in another box. And I can’t risk my daughter.”
“I understand. I was experimented on. There haven’t been experiments on LIs on Ada in over twenty years.” I leaned against the front door at my mother’s words. If only I believed them. “I know people are skeptical, but I wouldn’t tell you this if it wasn’t true.”
I cleared my throat as I walked toward the coffee table, one hand out in front of me. “Hi,” I whispered, unable to speak any louder as my voice wobbled with the emotion I’d been trying to hold back.
Both Elizabeth and Shannon turned toward me. My mother was the first to jump from the couch. “There you are!”
I couldn’t move, as though taking one step would send me to the floor. Elizabeth’s perfume burned my nose, and I looked away. This had to be a dream. “Shannon, can you give us a moment please?”
“Sure.” Shannon walked into our bedroom, and the door shut behind her.
“What are you doing here?” I tossed my cane onto the couch, my eyes hardening as my heart pounded. I folded my arms over my chest. I’d told myself walking around would help me calm down, but the anger was as strong as it had been in the hall outside the conference room two hours ago. “If you think I’m going to run into your arms after twenty years, you’re wrong. You’re a stranger to me, and while I’ve loved our conversations, we’ve had two. You shouldn’t have come here.” I sat down on the couch, too tired both physically and emotionally to stand any longer.
“I wanted to see you.”
I jerked my head up. “No. You wanted to convince people to come to Ada for your little program. Do you know how much you’ve risked coming here? Now, because of you, this entire hiding place could be raided, and we could all be sent to Ada whether we want to go or not.” My voice was ragged with exhaustion, and I rubbed my forehead. My temples pounded.
Elizabeth sat down next to me. “I know. I wanted to see you. I couldn’t wait. It’s been too long.”
“Well, whose fault is that?” Somehow the anger made its way back into my voice. When she didn’t reply, I made an effort to calm down. “Look, you’re here now. Let’s just try and get to know each other. T
hat is why you’re here.” It wasn’t the entire reason, but if I thought about the other half, I’d lose it.
“Shannon tells me you’ve been training and that you donated your light the other day,” Elizabeth said after a brief silence. “I’m so proud of you for donating. I know that wasn’t an easy thing to do, and I’m excited to help you train.”
I looked over at her, unable to hide my surprise, though in the dim glow of the lamp on the end table, I couldn’t make out Elizabeth’s face, much less see her expression. Not that I’d be able to see her expression in the brightest light. Was she serious? “You want to help me train?” The words came out soft, uncertain. Annoyance tugged at my insides. She had no right to offer. She’d been here five minutes. Still, I could learn so much from her, and it would help me get to Ada that much faster.
“Of course, I do. I’ve wanted to help you your whole life.” Her voice broke. “I’ve regretted giving you that drug. Making you afraid of your powers.”
I put a hand on Elizabeth’s knee, not sure how to reply. Yes, she’d made me fear my powers, but I had to start forgiving her at some point, right? It wouldn’t be today, but a start was a start. “No. No. You did what you thought was best at the time.”
Elizabeth sniffed. “I know, but you have spent your whole life afraid of your powers. I never wanted that to happen. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you’re as confident with them as possible.”
At the sincerity in her words, I managed a smile. “Thank you.” I got to my feet. “I’ll go change, and we can walk around.” I really didn’t need to change, but I walked into my room anyway, closing the door. “My mother wants to help me train.”
“What?” Shannon climbed down from the top bunk. “Did she say that?”
“Yes.” I sat down on my bunk. “I don’t know what to do! She’s been here five minutes, and she wants to help me train. She’s the reason I’m afraid of my powers, but I have to give her a chance. She’s my mother. She risked a lot coming here.”