I try to make small talk about inconsequential things as Cody busies himself at the range, his wide back facing me. When I mention that I spoke with my mother he wants to know how she’s been. When we dated years ago they were close. My mother, Grace, took his death hard. I don’t think she’s accepted that he never died. Good for her. It’s easier that way. I haven’t had the gall, opportunity or the right words to ask about the time he spent in captivity. I assume he doesn’t want to divulge details about his darkest hours. If we become closer, I know he’ll open up to me. Even though I have no right to that information. Cody asks if I told her about him and I try to steer the conversation to anything that won’t remind me of my wedding to Dax or the fact that he was a prisoner for too many years to count. One thing is for certain, it didn’t seem to affect him outwardly. Sure, he has some new tattoos and a couple scars, but he holds himself well.
“What are you cooking?” I ask in a quick lull. It’s my chance to change the subject.
He lets me skirt around Dax without fuss. “I made breakfast—mostly everything you used to like. You’ll have to tell me if anything has changed.” He’s remembered sunny side up with crispy bacon after all this time? My heart thuds faster. This is the old Cody. My Cody: thoughtful to a fault, with a single goal to make me happy. He turns, a plate in his hand, and walks over to the table. “Sit,” he orders. What can I say? I sit, taking a chair at the head of a long rectangular table in his empty dining room. If I speak loud enough it will echo in here.
Cody leans over and places the large plate in front of me, his lips next to my cheek. His head dips lower. I raise my chin up and close my eyes. “It’s a new perfume,” I say, explaining. I know exactly where he’s going with this. If I’m being honest, it’s why I sprayed this particular scent where I did. It’s a game we always played. Mostly it was foreplay. Hot, fucking foreplay that causes my body to instantly respond like it always used to. I shudder and cross my legs underneath the table. I know he knows. Cody always has a way to tell when I’m horny out of my damn mind. It was his gift, now it may be my curse. Warm breath tickles the side of my face, and I breathe him inside me.
I turn to meet his smoldering gaze. I must look like an animal caught in headlights. “What’s it smell like?” he asks, quirking one side of his mouth up. I wet my lips and exhale a pent-up breath. I know what happens next. He leans down further, until the hair on the top of his head tickles my chin and his face is mere inches from my chest. His nose is right at the V in my shirt where my cleavage is exposed. I hear my heartbeat in my ears and my breathing is rapid as I push out small controlled breaths through my mouth. Cody inhales deeply, and as he does, I breathe in, forcing my chest out. I feel the stubble on his face brush against me. I hold my breath there, stilling—wanting this contact I crave so badly. Dragging his nose over the swell of my breast, across my chest, and up the side of my neck, he pauses just beneath my ear. I tilt my head back, and he grabs a handful of my hair. “It smells fucking delicious,” he whispers. I knew he’d like this one. A shiver runs down my spine and ricochets to every part of my body. Never in my wildest dream did I imagine feeling this again and it scares the shit out of me.
I snap out of it. “What are we doing?” I ask. “This isn’t me. Oh my God, this isn’t me, Cody.” I pant, so caught up in everything. My love for Cody and Dax…my freaking wedding. I am a good person. Lainey Rosemont is no cheater, no matter the circumstance. Right? I don’t even recognize myself right now. Cody morphs me into the person I was three years ago. The woman I was with him, before any of this happened.
Cody runs a hand through his hair. “I know. I know,” he says, averting his eyes. He’s a man and even he is having a hard time with this. “What do you want? Tell me.”
I can’t tell him the truth. That I want to go against every relationship rule and moral I’ve ever respected. “I have to go,” I say, lying to him, myself, and the beautiful walls of this house. I’m an imposter. I get up and walk to the door, doing my best not to make eye contact. I’ll falter. I want Cody so badly that every fiber in my being is pulling me in the opposite direction. My purse and shoes are under my arm and I’m outside in thirty seconds flat.
I hear him following. He sighs loudly. “Please don’t go. Stay. We can talk,” Cody says. “I made breakfast. You have to eat.”
“Right. Talk. Eat breakfast. And then I’ll leave,” I reply, sarcasm dripping from my words. “Just shut the door, please. Shut it.” I’m on this front porch with my back facing the door. “Don’t talk. Just shut the door. That’s what I want.” He does. The heavy wood slides closed and I slump to the floor, sitting with my feet out in front of me. Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck. Cody’s still on my skin and controlling my senses. I run my hands down my face and let myself cry. Just a little. And only because I know I can’t control this. Cody and I have a love that overrules everything, including my petty morals. He didn’t lock the door.
Standing, I turn and put my forehead against the cool wood. “If I do this there is no going back. I’m that woman. That type of person. Can I live with myself?” I ask myself aloud. The answer is a resounding yes. I’ve done worse—lived through things more horrible. I need him. Opening the door, I push my way in, leaving my things on his porch to find Cody waiting for me. His hands are by his sides and his knowing eyes size me up. We stare at each other, able to have a silent conversation. It requires a certain degree of closeness for that to happen. I’m not sure I have that with Dax and I’m supposed to marry him. Can we have a conversation with just a glance? That answer is a no. This is what I have with Cody and Cody alone. A ghost of a smile crosses Cody’s face. He knew I wasn’t truly leaving—expected that I’d barge back in.
“This,” he says, pointing between us. “Doesn’t make you a bad person, Lainey. It makes you human. With a pumping heart full of love for a man. Don’t read into any more than that. Okay? It’s not easy for me either. Dax is a brother. He rescued me, for crying out loud. What we have is more. You can’t bottle electricity. It’s impossible. So how about we don’t think about anything else and we let go? No sex.” He closes his eyes and shakes his head. He wants to, but thinks we shouldn’t. Noted.
I don’t need to be told twice. The decision was made when I walked back into his world. I leap into his waiting arms and lock my lips with his. He carries me back over to the dining room table and sets me down. His gaze is focused, intent, and concerned.
“I want you and this, Cody.” His white teeth peek out from behind his wet, pink lips. He’s edible. Leaning down, Cody licks under my ear and then kisses my neck, his hot lips imprinting on my skin. I’ll feel that kiss, that real kiss, on my neck forever. With my hands I reach up and grab his wrists. I have no control over them. I pull myself to stand, and taking that fucking hot dish towel from his shoulder, I wrap it around the back of his neck. With one hand on each end I have full control of his head. I hop up to sit on the table behind me and get on my knees so my gaze is level with his face.
Cody’s eyes flare with interest, delight, with desire. “I’d rather have you for breakfast anyways,” he says, letting me pull his head toward my own. The kiss on my neck burns with loneliness. I want more. “My turn,” I say, not breaking eye contact. He smiles and that’s the only approval I need. Tugging each end of the towel, I bring his neck to my face and watch his pulse flutter. I’m making him nervous. So far he’s kept his hands down by his sides. Always the gentleman. Gently I press my lips to the exact spot his pulse hammers. I can feel it against my mouth, throbbing.
He smells like soap and like Cody. I inhale greedily, wanting more. Opening my mouth and placing my hands on the sides of his rough cheeks, I lick up his neck and under his chin and stop when my lips are a breath away from his. Cody opens his eyes and watches me for any clue of what I want to happen next. “You smell fucking delicious, too,” I say, making sure my mouth brushes his as I speak. “I miss you, Cody.” Once his name leaves my mouth, I lean my forehead against his. He bites his lip to keep from clo
sing the distance between our lips. “I want you.” The confession isn’t as hard to make as I thought it would be. I said it out loud. I drop the towel and run my hands through his hair. It causes a riot of emotions. I need to be connected to him.
“You still the easy trigger, I see?” he growls, grabbing my hips, which I’ve worked overtime in the gym for, in his large hands. The grip is firm, sure. It tells me he not only remembers how to fix my breakfast, but also how to fuck me right into oblivion. I sigh at the heat of his fingers that wrap so perfectly around my body.
Looking directly into his clear, blue eyes, I confess, “Only for you.” This is another forever moment. Like the time I said yes on top of a mountain and the first time he kissed me senseless after a Christmas party at my house, or the time we made love under the stars at an abandoned baseball field at night because we couldn’t wait to get home—this is the first time I’ve felt like I’ve been home since he died.
He swallows and sucks in a deep breath. “You want me to fuck you right here on this table?”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Cody
I WANT TO fuck her and fuck her and fuck her until my dick falls off and I know she’s mine forever. Right now. Right here on this table I paid way too much money for. I will think of it as the ‘got lucky’ table from this day forth…a treasure to keep in the family for generations to come. Lainey has this incredibly petite body, all toned, tight and ready to rock. Time has treated her well. With my hands on her hips, I can feel her shiver each time I dig my fingers into her pale skin. Her long blonde hair falls in a particular way over her shoulders and down her back. Not quite wavy, not quite curly or straight, either—just perfectly so. Her parted lips are pink and full and glistening wet in invitation. When I first met her I assumed she was one of those women who know exactly how attractive they are. Upon further investigation, I realized she has no clue how her wide blue eyes make men crazy, all doe like and innocent with a razor’s edge of sex. Sex. She’s looking at me with those black-fringed sex eyes right now, begging for it—wanting me. She puts her small hands on the back of my head and runs her fingers through my hair. I groan.
Lainey finally responds to my question about fucking on the table. “Kiss me,” she whispers, the sweet air from her mouth invading my space. Yes. A million times yes. I’ve waited years for this moment—dreamed about it when I was chained to a wall in a dank room with nothing to live for. I lived for her lips, knowing full well I’d probably never feel them again. She takes on a dreamlike quality. If I snap my fingers, will she disappear? Cradling her head in both of my hands, I lean down and bring my lips to hers. She moans into my mouth and responds right away by tilting her neck and sliding her hands down my chest, and down to the top of my jeans. I still, just a second, because I haven’t been touched intimately in a long time and my senses are all over the fucking place. This is really happening. I have my Lainey again. She pauses, and I don’t want that, so I put more force into the kiss, twining my tongue with hers, letting her know I’m okay. It’s a familiar dance we both know well. She responds by leaning into me and pulling the top of my jeans toward her. I bring her back against the table, capturing her lips as she clings to me, pulling my weight on top of her.
Leaning back, I break the kiss and look at her. Stroking a piece of her blonde hair out of her face, I say, “This is real.” Earlier she wanted to ask me about V and my time away. I could tell. She didn’t. Lainey showing restraint is a bad work of art.
She looks just as mystified and excited. “This is so real,” she replies, her eyes sparkling. “You should probably move my breakfast,” she says quickly, keeping her hands wrapped around my neck. I need to catch my breath, so I take this opportunity to extricate myself and move the plate. The second I release her, she slides her shorts and panties off. I must look like a feral dog that has gone weeks without food as I stare at her. She smiles a knowing smile. “It’s okay, I won’t bite. We should probably take it slow.” Quirking her head to the side, she bites her lip. Quite the opposite of what she just said, she peels her shirt and bra off and tosses them to the opposite end of the long table.
My jeans are already unbuttoned due to her handiwork, so I make light work of pulling my shirt off and approach her slowly—very slowly. I want to see every square inch of her to know if she still looks the same. The freckle by her belly button is still there, the scar on her ankle from ankle surgery is lighter, her tits—her gloriously natural tits—are pert and the perfect size. They fit in my hands like they were made for me. Lainey leans back and gives me this perfect bird’s-eye view and then she lets her knees fall apart. My cock is straining against my jeans, and now that her shaved pussy is on full display I’m wasted with desire.
This may seem like an odd time to think about another man, but Dax slips in nonetheless. I can remind myself a million times that Lainey is mine, that she’s always been mine, that we would be living happily ever after right now if not for V and his vindictive ways, and I’d still feel a twinge of guilt. She’s been his for the stolen years. I called Dax. We spoke of Lainey and how he wants her to know she has options. He wants to win her fair and square. I didn’t have the heart to tell him fair and square loses every single time. The option that Lainey is exercising at the moment has my mouth watering and my dick rapt at attention. A stronger man, a man with more integrity, would resist. I was stripped of everything, integrity included. I just want back what is rightfully mine.
“I want to kiss your entire body. You want that?” I ask, rubbing the insides of her thighs with the palms of my hands. Her body excites me. It’s familiar and brand new at the same time. Everything washes away when I touch her. I can block my pain receptors with her pleasure. I can forget. “Every single square inch of you,” I say, folding my hands around her tiny waist.
She nods, her doe eyes challenging me to merely kiss her. Smirking, I lean over her, drag my lips across her tits, down her stomach, and back up her neck to find her mouth. Lainey whimpers as I rest some of my body weight on top of her. My mouth is watering by the time I bring my lips on top of hers. Her scent is all around me, her warm skin is against my chest, and my cock is nestled right where it wants to be. How to tell her how much I’ve missed her? Or that her fucking gorgeous face is still the center of my universe? She grabs my face and deepens the kiss, her lips claiming me, and I find myself fighting to breathe. Lainey brings up her legs and locks them around my waist, capturing me to her. My jeans and boxers are still on and I’m thanking God I didn’t take them off yet. Gently I slide down between her legs. She keeps her hands on the side of my face as I kiss her pussy. I trace the sides with my tongue, tasting her desire.
“Oh my God, Cody. Oh my God.” I know the fucking feeling. Well. She leans back on her elbows, her gaze fixated on my mouth and herself.
I kiss her wet center and smile up at her. She bites her lip as her eyes grow large. She wants to know what I’ll do next. A quick flick of my tongue and she closes her eyes briefly. I stop. She opens them. Wrapping my arms under her thighs, I scoot her closer to the edge of the table. I want access to all of her. I settle in between her thighs with my mouth, and taking one finger, I slip it into her slick core. Her muscles squeeze around me. My dick throbs in response. She leans her head back and moans as I start my assault, finger-fucking and licking her exactly how I know she loves. It’s not long and her hips start rocking against me, forcing more of her sweet pussy into my mouth, and I know she’s about to come. I keep up the same pace as she pulls her knees back and wide so she’s splayed open, everything wet and turned on and explosive. Arching her back, she comes, her pussy gripping my finger over and over.
I don’t stop, no. I keep licking and sucking her clit through her orgasm, because I know she has more for me. Lainey knows she does, too. Instead of guiding me up to kiss her, she holds my head steady. Her muscles still clenched tightly around my finger, I slip another inside and one more into her back door. I want to take out my cock and watch it disappear inside
her pussy. My desire is growing by the second. The noises coming out of her mouth force the issue. She’s begging me to fuck her. She needs me inside her. I lick her and fuck her senseless with my fingers. Lainey’s body stiffens and she screams my name as she lets go one more time. This time she leans back on the table, her breathing audible and labored. She looks well fucked, but my cock begs to differ.
Slowly, I stand up and remove my throbbing dick from its boxer brief prison. She’s still wide open, dripping with longing. She lifts her head to look at me…actually to look at my cock. It would be so easy to plunge into her. Not yet, though. Taking my heavy shaft into my hand, I tap it a few times on her wet slit. So easy to fill her small body with my huge dick, stretch her until she’s full of only me.
“Oh, God,” Lainey moans. She wants it. After two orgasms, she’s ready. We both watch as I take the head of my dick and tease it at her opening. I slip the head in just a touch. Only enough to make it a little wet and I hiss out a breath. It would feel so good. I need to stop right now. “Yes, yes,” she exclaims, her gaze fixed on my dick. When she meets my eyes, I smirk, snap my underwear back in place, and take a gigantic step back. She’s panting, smiling, flushed and all fucking mine.
I sigh. Self-control is something I’m trained in—an art form, if you will. They torture me for information, and I tell them to eat my asshole and bring me a beer. Things would have gone more smoothly for me in captivity if I had practiced self-control, if I had given them the information they wanted. Of course, information isn’t the reason they took me in the first place. V is much smarter and crueler than that.
Lainey leaps off the table and into my arms. I pick her up and she wraps her naked body around me. “Was it just like it used to be?” I ask, breathing in the sharp flowery smell of her shampoo. I want to drown in this scent. I would’ve given up all the information if they promised me this scent.
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