“I am, too,” I rasp. “Come with me,” I say. She meets my eyes and I’m blinded by fucking love. I feel her legs shake. Her eyes close and then she explodes around me, and finally, I let myself go, allowing myself to spill inside of her in quick, hot bursts of pure fucking bliss. Lainey leans over and plants her mouth on my neck. She kisses me and licks me, and keeps my cock inside her while she circles her hips, keeping our connection.
“I love you, Cody Ridge. I never stopped. I never will. I missed this so, so much,” Lainey whispers. Love mixes with relief and is quickly replaced by horror.
I swallow down the lump in my throat. “I love you, too, beautiful girl. Forever and always. Remember that.” She moves her mouth to mine and kisses me with force and passion I can’t ignore. When I’m here with her, inside of her, I can’t fathom what would ever lead me to believe I could give her away.
Lainey breaks the kiss and stares in my eyes like she’s reading her favorite book. “I won’t have to remember because you’ll be with me always. Right?” It’s like she suspects something is up. Does she? I give her a lot of credit, but how could she possibly know this?
“Right,” I lie. “You have to see the shower. It’s exactly like the one we designed for our house.” Distract her with home interiors. Real fucking smart, Cody. Doh.
She narrows her eyes. Shit. “You mean it has a steam room, too?” Phew. Bait and switch.
I nod. “Yeah. And long, deep benches.” I raise one brow. She smiles. When she finally rises enough to remove my dick from her body I feel cold. It’s not a good feeling. Maybe if I keep reminding myself that if V is dead she’ll be safe, the sensation will go away. She won’t be mine, but she’ll be safe. That has to count for something. More than that prick asshole she’ll marry leveraging information to snag her forever. It’s not fair, yet it’s completely fair. Lainey smiles and talks animatedly about something, I’m not sure what, because my thoughts have run away from me. The only thing standing between happily ever after and fate is revenge. And even I can’t change that. I zone back in when I hear the word wedding.
Lainey swings her naturally white blond hair from one shoulder to the other. “When I cancel the wedding, I may need you as a bodyguard,” she says, dragging a manicured nail over my chest, tracing a tattoo. When I swallow it’s thick and takes entirely too long to go down my throat. I wish there were a switch to control my emotions. How easy life would be.
I laugh. “Surely no one will fault you for making a decision. Women change their minds all the time.” Vagueness is key here. Lie, but don’t lie. Growing up with my aunt, I saw her do it countless times. It was artful, so well handled that my uncle never saw through it. She never lied about anything significant, per se—an unplanned shopping trip here or there was her M.O. She was vague about which store she visited and my uncle always assumed it was of the grocery variety.
Lainey is too keen to play it any other way. I have to be vague. I rub the skin on her waist. It’s warm and so fucking smooth. Goosebumps rise where my fingers stroked. “Right?” I ask. “A woman’s prerogative, and all that?”
“They’re a fucking angry lynch mob, Cody. You know that. I bet Aunt Velma will send a hit man to my house to either kill me or find the wedding gift she sent three months too early.” Grinning, because I know Aunt Velma, I shake my head. “I guess it’s just embarrassing, too. When you…left, our wedding plans were cancelled. Surely they forgave me that go round even if I did inconvenience them. This time, they’ll string me up by my toes. Grandma already bought a plane ticket.” Lainey talks more about her family, but the way she’s looking at me, so tenderly, with so much love, I know she’s not really upset about calling off her wedding to Dax.
I take a deep breath. “You’ve thought it through, then? I couldn’t fault you if you wanted to marry him, Fast Lane.” Her eyes widen and flicker with anger. Shit.
“Your cock is mere inches from my vagina right now and you’re telling me it’s okay if I want to marry another man? Are you okay?” She feels my forehead with the back of her hand. “There wasn’t even a question since the first time we met in the street. He wouldn’t let me break it off.” She looks away, probably thinking about that blackmailing asshole.
“Hey,” I say. She turns her face toward me again. “I’m sorry. Okay?” Saying anything further will cross into lying territory. “I love you.” Lainey smiles that glorious smile that lights her whole face. She leads me to the stream room and starts talking about the interior design of the estate. It was all for her, after all. When she marries Dax and has two point five children and a white picket fence, all I’ll have left of my Lainey is this house. Which means I need to have her in every single fucking room. Memories I can keep forever. Could I find V on my own without Dax’s information? Probably. Would it take longer, putting more people in danger? Yes. I look at Lainey in the full-length mirror in the expansive bathroom. Her creamy tan skin, unmarred by any imperfection except red marks where my hands have just been is reason enough. My cum is running down the inside of her leg. Mine. Not his. My claim. She meets my gaze in the mirror. The corner of her mouth quirks up in a devil-may-care grin. She waggles her pointer finger at me, summoning me over. She’ll always pick me, no matter what, I think. She has to. This is a risk I’m going to take. I stalk up to her, hit the button to turn on the steam, and pick her up with ease. She wraps her legs around my waist and locks her arms around my neck. I nuzzle my nose into her neck. “You didn’t mention the security cameras. What do you think?” I ask.
“Too much,” she coos against the side of my face. “Too much seems to be how you operate these days, though.”
I press my lips to the side of her face. “Too much of this?” I ask, sliding her down my body onto my dick.
Lainey shakes her head, her eyes closed. “Never too much of that.” I walk her into the steam room and fuck her so hard I can’t see straight.
We don’t even use the bench.
_______________
“I. Can’t. Keep. Up,” Lainey says, breathing heavy. We decided to go for a jog on the beach. The morning air is cool and dewy and the silence is peaceful at this time of morning. Well, you know, the silence before Lainey started whining. I laugh. We started about five minutes ago.
“The marathon sex last night didn’t help your endurance much, did it?” Sex. With Lainey. It was so fucking hot. Thinking about it makes me want more of it. The tight black workout shorts she’s wearing make me want more right now. After a long as hell dry spell her pussy wrapped around my cock feels like nirvana.
She grabs my arm to slow me to a walk. “It’s because my endurance is all used up. Plus, my vagina is baboon style. Totally Animal Planet stuff going on. All red and wet and overused. I can’t take the D six times in one night and be expected to cardio the next day.” Or maybe we should take a break from sex for a short period of time.
I cough, laugh and then shake my head. “Your eloquence knows no bounds. Do you need a doctor? Baboon isn’t the best way to describe that part of your anatomy. And cardio was your idea, remember? I wanted to use the gym at the house.” It’s safer and so we can have sex without worrying about prying eyes. Although if she wanted to right here, I wouldn’t turn her down.
“There’s a mansion on the beach named after my alter ego. Forgive me for wanting to check out some of the beach that belongs to it. I’m sure the cameras you’ve installed have zoom. We’re being monitored right now, aren’t we?” Yes.
“I’m not sure of the reach on the ones in the back.” She nods, acknowledging my half lie. We walk in companionable silence for a few minutes. She looks out at the ocean, back up at the estate, and then at me.
“I want to live here,” she deadpans.
“Vacation houses lose their charm when you live year-round in them,” I explain. “I’m glad you love it, though. It’s my biggest purchase since I’ve been back in the real world.”
Lainey stops, halting in her tracks. “How are you perfectly okay?” she
finally asks. I know it’s not the real question she wants an answer to. I don’t talk about the time I spent locked underground, living in destitution counting drips. It’s not particularly painful to think about, but because I’ve tried to push past it, it’s like a distant memory I’m no longer attached to. Don’t get me wrong, I know exactly who is to blame and what I need to do about it to make things right. V was smart, crafty, a genius in his plans to steal me and keep me away. In my current profession I can appreciate perfect execution. With some distance from the situation, I realize the only flaw in his plan was not killing me. That’s not his way, though. Suffering is his thing and I plan on taking his thing and serving him extra helpings. The dinner bell is about to ring, motherfucker.
I realize I haven’t responded to Lainey yet. “Who said I’m perfectly okay?” I tease, laying a hand on her waist. A piece of her wavy hair floats across her face and gets caught between her lips. She crosses her arms, obviously not amused by my response. Releasing her, I run a hand through my own hair. I don’t want to get into this. “It was bad, Lainey. Forgive me for wanting to spare you the gory details.”
She shakes her head, eyes closed. “I’m not asking for details.”
“You are. Just not in so many words.”
She pulls that wayward piece of hair out of her mouth and tucks it behind her ear. “I guess it’s hard for me to fathom coming back after something so awful…and for so long.” Valid point. The first few months living among respectable humans almost felt like I was an actor in a Blockbuster hit. I believe my acting days are over, but I can’t be sure.
I turn her chin to face me. “I’m the same person. A little beaten down, a little inked up, with some external scars, but inside,” I say, bringing her hand to rest on the left side of my chest, “I’m the same. Getting another chance with you was, at best, my wildest dream during my darkest days.” And I’m about to throw it away.
She smiles now and hugs me, her small arms cutting me like vices as she tightens her grip. The curves of her body press against me and the wind blows her unruly hair into my face. “My baboon level is about four. We should start heading back to the house now. For the record, I’m glad you’re okay. And being with you now is also my wildest dream come true. I never thought I’d be able to think of you without being sad and now I get to have you. And this happiness makes me want to explode.”
I hang on to her a little tighter. Breathe her in a little deeper. “Never give up on the good guy, yeah?” I say.
Lainey pulls back and looks at me with bright, laughing eyes. “You remembered.”
“Of course. How could I forget?” Good guys finish last, or so the saying goes. When we first began dating she told me that when she found a good guy she was never going to give up on him. “Remember that, okay?”
She looks off into the ocean. Is she thinking of Dax and her wedding? Wondering if there’s some hidden meaning behind my words? I don’t have precious time to waste wondering. I only have two more days with her in this false, safe paradise.
My phone rings from the holster on my arm. It’s Molly. Wrapping my arm around Lainey, we begin our walk back while I listen to Molly panic about threatening messages she’s received from anonymous callers. Everything is coming to a head, and I need all my best-laid plans to be meticulous. Lainey smiles up at me, and I force a grin back and kiss the top of her head.
Never give up on the good guy.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Lainey
CODY’S ON THE phone again. He’s in the library on the second floor of this palatial mansion. A quick mental calculation has it in the mid millions. I’m pretty sure I saw it on an episode of Cribs when I was seventeen years old. In between sex sessions and eating and more sex, I check out the different areas of the house. One could easily get lost in here. That fact creeps me the fuck out. He hates the beach, which is how I’m certain this truly is all for me. Obviously it’s a grand gesture I could have done without. There’s a locked door at the end of a long hallway that reminds me of the movie The Shining. I don’t hang around long enough to see if I can pick the lock. It’s not like I have anything to help me anyways. Thankfully, I threw a light cotton robe in my bag, because Morganna was right. Clothing is optional.
As I approach the library I hear Cody’s voice pouring from the large doorway. He’s angry. I make my steps lighter, my bare feet a whisper against the cool floor. My chest rises and falls a little more rapidly. Some women would turn the other way. Others would make their presence known with a cough or a fake sneeze. Not me. This is part of who I am. Cody should know better. I press my back against the door and listen to him speak.
Whatever Cody is currently laughing at isn’t of the funny variety. “I don’t need you. I have my ways. She’s not safe,” he growls and then pauses. “Of course that is what’s important. Don’t start this shit again. I keep my word.” I realize I haven’t taken a breath in too long and open my mouth to gobble up air. I’m the she. “You better follow through. I have a lot riding on this. More than you realize.” Suddenly, I don’t want to know what will come next—my nosey nature aside, I want to stay oblivious for a little while longer.
“Yes, dead. And by my own hand,” Cody says. I swallow and look at the beautiful ceiling. He has always killed people. Why would it bother me now? Because he is talking about me in the same breath as killing.
“It’s for her safety,” he growls.
I show myself in the doorway, unable to keep out of view any longer. “Why are you worried about my safety?” I ask, making sure my voice is loud enough to carry the expanse of the wide room. “And who the fuck are you killing now?”
Cody’s eyes widen. He covers the mouthpiece of his phone. “What did you hear?” No pleasantries now.
I lie. “All of it.” My heart hammers because I think I know exactly why he’d be worried about my safety.
“I have to go,” Cody says into the phone. He hangs up before the other person has time to respond. Shirtless, wearing only a pair of blue checked pajama pants slung low on his hips, he walks toward me. I shake away the sex brain and put on my professional panties. He can’t woo me now. At least not easily.
I hold up my hand. “Don’t play games. Honesty. I need honesty, Cody.”
His worried gaze looks me up and down and finally settles on my eyes. “Being with me puts a target on you,” he explains.
I scoff. “You sure it isn’t the other way around?”
He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. We’re in uncharted territory. The place we don’t speak of. “People are angry with me so by default anything and anyone close to me is a target. You,” he says, waving his left hand in front of him at me, “might as well have neon lights attached to your head that flash the word Cody.” He looks away. “You’re safe here, with me.”
“So you don’t want me to leave here? I thought vacation houses lose their charm? You were angry, Cody,” I say, my lips pursed. “Also, I can guess who you want dead.” I did tell him I wanted to live here.
Cody sighs, defeated. “I want a lot of people dead. I’m angry when it comes to your safety. How could I not be? I lost you once, Lane. I know what it feels like. While I enjoy our time here, I know I can’t hold you hostage.” He smiles at his own cruel joke.
“Stop lying by omitting. I invented that shit. You can’t talk circles around me. And when it comes to losing people I’m the motherfucking queen at that. Or don’t you remember?” Cody grabs me by my shoulders. It’s meant to comfort me, but I feel the rage bubbling inside. Loss makes you feel things that aren’t rational. By remembering the loss, it’s forcing anger to the surface. “Are you keeping something from me? I’ll only ask once.” He knows I’m serious because he releases my shoulders and takes a step away from me. Cody knows I need space when I get spun up.
He runs a hand through his blond hair. “There is. I’m keeping something from you. It’s for your own safety. I won’t tell you.”
My jaw might as well be su
per glued to the floor. “What?”
“You asked if I’m keeping something from you. Yes, I am. There’s your honesty.” He shakes his finger at me when I open my mouth to speak. “There are worse places to be other than in the dark, Fast Lane. Trust me.”
I swallow and nod. Can I accept this? I have to. “You know I’ll figure it out eventually.”
“I’m counting on it,” he replies.
I take several deep breaths and watch him. He watches me, tapping one finger on his leg by his side. A nervous habit I’m sure he’s done all he can to break. “If I don’t?”
“It won’t matter if you don’t. Listen, I have a serious job to deal with when we get back. I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to see you…for a while.”
My anger is dissipating. “You’re not an equal opportunist? Aren’t they all serious jobs?”
He laughs. “You could say this one is more important than most. I can’t send Horse or Van. Something I need to handle myself.” A pit forms in my stomach.
“Vadim.” I say his name like a curse word for pussies. Cody’s eyes flare.
“Lainey. Please,” he says. Blue pleading eyes meet my own.
I scream several curse words that aren’t of the pussy variety and Cody watches me without saying a word. I have a million questions to ask. Pacing the room, I try to think of the last time I heard of his whereabouts. The mere mention of his name and I can’t think clearly.
When I reach the end of the room I turn around. Cody’s on the opposite end, hands on his hips, waiting. “So this really is about me?” I say.
He shakes his head. “No. It’s about me.”
“Bullshit! How can you say that? I thought he was already six feet under.” That would have been too easy—too perfect to be true. I grab the ends of my robe ties self-consciously and pull it tighter, until the belt is cinching my skin. I squat down and put my head in my hands. My new bracelet slides from my forearm and tickles the side of my cheek. Fuck. I feel sick. Cody kneels in front of me.
The Crazy Good SEAL Series: Books 1-3 Page 68