“Nope. Married. Every last one.” She paused, then pressed her lips together. “Well, except for one. But he’s widowed, so it’s just about the same thing.”
This was new. Curtis far preferred needling his aunt about her personal life to listening to her gripe about his mother. “Who is he?”
“Dr. Berton.”
Curtis sobered. The man who was seriously considering buying that commercial building from him. He’d been intending to tease his aunt about a possible romance, but Curtis hadn’t realized that Palmer Berton’s wife had passed away, and the humor seeped out of the moment.
“What happened to Louise? I didn’t realize she’d died.”
“It was a brain aneurysm last summer,” Betty replied. “Very fast and tragic. Like I said, it’s the same thing as being married. Berton is still grieving.”
Palmer and Louise had been a fixture around Hope. They had two sons, both in the army.
“He never mentioned Louise passing when we talked about the sale,” Curtis said.
“He wouldn’t,” Betty replied. “He’s private that way. He keeps his grief to himself.”
“He talks to you, though,” Curtis said. She seemed to know a fair bit about how he grieved, at the very least.
“Sure, we talk. Sometimes people need someone to talk to, especially after a loss like that. I’ve known Palmer since we were kids, and he’s been my primary vet ever since I inherited this place,” Betty said. “We have history.”
There was so much history in this town that Curtis had never guessed, but people born and raised here—like Barrie—were connected to the rest of Hope at the roots. Curtis had always seen himself as an outsider in Hope, but he had his own history here, entwined with a woman who still drove him nuts.
“You still think Dr. Berton will use the building to push Barrie out of business?” he asked.
“Louise gave him balance,” Betty said. “She tempered his more aggressive nature. And now that she’s gone, he’s got a lot of time on his hands that he’ll be putting into his work. It’s only natural.”
Curtis sighed. “Do you have any clout with him?”
Betty shot Curtis a sharp look. “Having second thoughts about that sale?”
“No.” He sucked in a deep breath. “If I don’t sell that building, I’ve got nothing. I might not like it, but that’s a fact. I just wish it could be smoother...for everyone.”
For Barrie. That’s what he meant. He wished his step forward didn’t have to impact her quite so much. He wished all of this were simpler and he could arrange a sale and walk away without any nagging guilt. The shared histories in a small ranching community weren’t always a comfort.
“Some Christmas...” Curtis said after a few beats of silence.
“It might not be a merry Christmas for all of us,” Betty said softly. “But Christmas comes all the same.”
True enough. Dr. Berton was widowed, Betty had a broken ankle, Barrie was pregnant and facing her first Christmas without her mother... Here Curtis was in Hope, working alongside his pregnant ex-wife, who he’d never really gotten over, making her life more difficult in order to scrape a future together for himself. It wasn’t exactly a merry Christmas, but Christmas came once a year whether they were in the mood for it or not.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING, Barrie pushed Miley’s face away from her shoulder and turned her vehicle onto the Porter ranch drive. This would be a busy day. She had the Porter cows to check on, then a visit to the Granger ranch, where she had some calves to immunize. The truck had given her some trouble starting that morning, and she couldn’t even blame the cold. Fourteen degrees wasn’t exactly balmy, but it wasn’t cold enough to shut down a vehicle, either.
She’d been thinking about her mother a lot lately. She hadn’t been gone long, and this Christmas loomed. It wasn’t just the thought of merriment without Mom. It was all the questions she wouldn’t be able to ask her, all the advice she’d miss out on. Until she got pregnant, she hadn’t realized how much she still desperately needed to be mothered herself.
Mom would have had something to say about Curtis’s reappearance, and she wished her mother were here to say it all. “Love is one thing, Barrie. And being man enough to take care of a family is another. You can love a man heart and soul and still not be able to live with him.”
That was what her mother had said a few weeks before Curtis took off. She’d said it again in the weeks that followed. Love wasn’t enough... Somehow, it had given her permission to let go of him. It didn’t mean she hadn’t loved him, it just meant it hadn’t worked. But now he was back, and she found herself unsettled about the muscular cowboy. She needed her mother’s wisdom to set her straight. Gwyneth Jones had always had an uncanny ability to see through the smoke screen and get right down to basics.
“I love you, but I need some personal space, Miley,” she said, and Miley snuffled at her ear instead of obeying. She nudged his nose back again as she followed the drive around and pulled up in front of the house. She gave a short beep of the horn to let Betty know that she was here, and Betty emerged a moment later in the doorway, a sweater pulled around her shoulders. Barrie lowered her window.
“Dr. Jones!” Betty called with a smile, hobbling up to the driver’s side. “Curtis is down in the barn already, so you might as well drive through.”
“Thanks.” Barrie raised her voice over the sound of her truck’s engine. “I’ll keep you posted on the situation down there.”
“Sounds good,” Betty replied, and she gave a final wave before she disappeared back into the house. Barrie put the truck in gear and hit the button to put up the window. It was cold out there, and she cranked the steering wheel to head down the drive toward the barn.
Why couldn’t seeing Curtis again be easier? She hadn’t meant to give him any kind of reaction yesterday. That had happened on its own, and she’d regretted it. It showed weakness. She’d made it seem like she hadn’t dealt with their divorce, when she had. How many hours had she and Mom talked it out? Barrie had made her peace with having done her very best, and it not being enough. That hadn’t been easy. But seeing him again had opened a few old wounds.
Why couldn’t he have lost some of that magnetism with age? That would have been more fair. He’d come back to town to find her single and pregnant. At the very least, he could have come back with a bald spot and a pot belly to match the other guys from their class. But having him be all gentle and sweet with her out there in the field was irritating. Having him standing up for her as if she needed the pity was even worse. If it weren’t for her pregnancy, would Curtis still be this sweet? Not likely. She didn’t need his special treatment.
The red of the barn’s sides contrasted with the snow on its roof. Icicles hung off the eaves, glittering in morning sunlight. She liked these early morning rounds, at least when she wasn’t going to be running into Curtis. But she had a job to do, and her practice needed the income. She couldn’t afford to recommend that Curtis call in Palmer Berton just to give herself some space.
Barrie parked in front of the barn’s main doors and hopped out of the truck. She opened up the back door and Miley poured himself out of the back seat, then gave himself a shake, his tags jingling.
“Come on, Miley,” she said, giving the dog’s head a stroke. Then she pulled open the passenger side door and grabbed her vet’s bag. “You be good now, okay?”
But Miley knew the drill. When Barrie opened the barn door, Miley followed her in, his head staying by her side. She let her eyes adjust, then scanned the barn. She spotted Curtis near the back. He was leaning over a rail, looking into a stall, his face in the shadows. She knew that stance—she couldn’t see his feet, but she could tell he’d hooked a boot over the bottom rail. He straightened and tipped his hat.
“Morning,” she called.
“Mornin
g.” He pulled off his gloves. “Two more quarantined since last night.”
Barrie nodded. “Four in total now?”
“That’s right.”
Miley’s nails clicked against the concrete floor as Barrie headed down the aisle toward the back of the barn, where Curtis waited. She had antibiotics to administer and temperatures to take. The baby shifted, and she gave the side of her belly a rub. The movements were getting stronger as the weeks passed, and she could feel a good hard jab to the bladder now and again. That was irritating when she wasn’t near a washroom, but it was also reassuring. If her baby could wake her up several times a night with wriggles and stretches, then all was well—at least in the baby’s world. The outside world was a little more complex.
When she arrived at the stall where Curtis waited, Barrie pointed to the floor.
“Miley, lie down,” she said. Miley complied, his eyes fixed on her. “Any improvement with the first calf?” she asked, turning to Curtis. He’d shaved since she’d seen him yesterday, and he held a pair of gloves loosely in one hand, his shirt sleeves rolled up to reveal muscular forearms. He was definitely a more solid man now—the years had hardened him in a way she’d find appealing if she didn’t know him better.
“He seems to be getting better,” Curtis said. “He’s eating more and he’s less lethargic.”
Both good signs. She turned her attention to the newest quarantined cows and inspected them with an expert eye. She let herself into the first stall and opened her bag. She wasn’t wasting any time here this morning—the Grangers were waiting.
“Last night I found out that Louise Berton passed away,” Curtis said, and Barrie glanced up.
“This year. She had an aneurysm,” she confirmed. “Mom died in February, and then Louise passed in June.”
“It’s been a tough year,” he said.
Barrie turned her attention back to the calf. She pulled out a syringe and the antibiotic. “Miserable.”
There had been no warning when her mother died. Dad came back from work and found Mom on the floor. He called an ambulance, but when they got her to the hospital, they’d pronounced her already gone. One day, Mom was her usual bright, funny self. And then... Barrie blinked back a mist of tears. The pain was still fresh.
Curtis was silent while Barrie administered the medication and rubbed the spot to relieve the sting. She pushed herself to her feet, then took her bag and headed to the next stall over. Miley raised his head.
“Stay,” she commanded.
“How are you holding up?” Curtis asked.
“If I say that I’m fine, you’ll say I’m lying,” she said as she squatted next to the other calf. “And if I say I’m not fine, what are you going to do about it?”
Curtis sighed. “I’m still not allowed to care?”
“No. You aren’t. You lost that right when you left me.”
“I’m sorry that your mom is gone, all the same,” he said. “Your mom might not have thought I was right for you, but she was a good person.”
Her mom was more than a good person. She’d been a great mom, too. She’d been full of advice and hard-won wisdom. She’d been a silent listener when necessary, and a ferocious ally. She’d made the best shortbread cookies and decorated them for every single occasion possible from Christmas to baby showers. She’d even made Barrie some postdivorce cookies—pink hearts with icing Band-Aids.
“It’ll get better, Barrie,” her mother had told her.
“What makes you so sure?” Barrie had asked bitterly. “You’ve never been divorced.”
“I don’t have to know divorce,” Gwyneth had retorted. “I know my daughter. And you’re strong and beautiful. You’ll get through this. Life is long, and you have so much more ahead of you...”
Barrie administered the shot, then rose to her feet. She glanced over to find Curtis still watching her.
“Betty’s worried about you,” he said.
Somehow that got past her defenses. Maybe because Betty was close to her mom’s age...
“And Betty is allowed to worry,” she snapped. “You know why? Because she’s a friend and a customer. She’s a part of my life. You aren’t anymore. You didn’t want this life, this town...or me. You made your choice. Do I resent you? A bit. But that doesn’t mean you have anything to fix or make right. I have a job to do. So do you. Let’s just keep it on those lines.”
Barrie opened the stall door, and Curtis took a step back to let her out. He didn’t retreat further than one stride to allow the gate to swing open, however. He closed the clasp on the gate and she shot him a cool smile, then slid past him toward the stalls of the other two cows that were recovering. Miley rose to his feet, clicked over to the stall where she was working and sat down on his haunches. Barrie administered the antibiotics quickly, checked the calves’ vitals and was pleased to see some improvement.
When she let herself out of the last stall, she found Curtis eyeing her with a thoughtful look on his face.
“What?” she asked testily. She’d told herself that she’d be professional and contained this time, but there was something about Curtis’s attention that irritated her.
“It’s nice to see you again, that’s all.”
His thorough appraisal made her skin tingle. He’d always had that effect on her, but she wasn’t dumb enough to succumb to it anymore.
“Let me ask you this. If I weren’t pregnant, would you feel this way?”
“What way?”
“Whatever this is.” She shrugged. “This urge to make sure I’m okay. You’ve always had far too much testosterone coursing through your veins, and that factored into all of our problems. But right now, you aren’t reacting to me. You’re reacting to my belly. I’m no longer Barrie, the woman who drove you nuts. I’m now...this...” She spread her arms. “Curtis, it’s still me. We don’t have anything to sort out. Our marriage is history. I’m the vet. You have sick cows. It’s pretty simple.”
Barrie patted her thigh and Miley rose to his feet and immediately tagged along after her. When he got to her side, the dog cast a mournful look back at Curtis, and Barrie grit her teeth. Even the dog was softening to that frustrating man! She reached over and gave Miley’s head a scratch all the same. The poor dog couldn’t be blamed for his good temper.
Barrie pushed open the door and headed out into the bright sunlight. She tossed her vet’s bag onto the passenger side front seat, then opened the back door to let Miley up. He clambered onto the seat, and she slammed the door.
How did Curtis Porter always manage to get under her skin like that? Why did she even allow him to bother her? They were ancient history. They’d never had children together. There was nothing tying them to each other, save a few memories. But then he’d look at her in that way he had, and she’d see red. It was stupid. She knew it.
As she angled around to the driver’s side and let herself in, Miley was still scrambling about, trying to get comfortable. Barrie put the key into the ignition and turned it. There was a grinding sound, but the engine didn’t turn over.
“Blast.” She shut her eyes, willing the engine to cooperate, then turned the key again. Nothing.
She sighed and looked back at Miley. Miley whined and gave a low growl—his form of commiseration—and she ran her hand through her hair. For all of her bravado back there in the barn, all she wanted was to get out of here—get onto open road, away from him.
“One more try,” she muttered, and turned the key again, but instead of hearing the engine, there was a tap on her window. She grimaced, then glanced over to see Curtis. Her plans to be through with the man as quickly as possible seemed to be slipping through her fingers. She lowered the window.
“You have a problem there?” he asked.
She sighed. “It won’t start. I’ll call a tow.”
“Want me to
take a look?” he asked.
“Since when do you fix trucks?” she demanded. “You rode bulls. You were no mechanic.”
They weren’t here to reinvent history, or for him to play hero. Whatever he had on his conscience, he’d have to sort out without her.
Curtis crossed his arms over his chest. “So what’s the plan, then?”
“I’ll get towed to the garage,” she said. “And I’ll have to call the Grangers and tell them I can’t make it.”
“So you have another call,” Curtis clarified. He looked away for a moment, chewing the side of his cheek, then back at her. “What if I drove you?”
“To the Grangers’?” She frowned. “Why?”
“Why not?” he shot back. “Do you need a reason? How about guilt? I’m selling that building out from under you and I feel like I owe you something. Is that reason enough?”
It was the most honest thing she’d heard from him yet. She couldn’t afford to be sending business to Palmer Berton, and a ride would allow her to do her job while she waited for a mechanic to fix her truck.
Barrie eyed him for a moment, then nodded. “Alright. Thanks. I’d appreciate the ride.”
He was right; he did owe her.
Chapter Six
Curtis stepped back as Barrie pushed open the door and slid slowly to the ground. He hadn’t been sure if she’d accept his offer of help, but he was glad she had. His aunt’s ranch wasn’t too far from the Granger ranch. Besides, there was a part of him that didn’t want to see her leave. It was a stupid part of him, but it was still there. Barrie had always drawn him in like that, whether it was good for him or not.
Barrie’s pregnancy slowed her movements, but right now he knew better than to offer her a hand. She wasn’t about to let him in close, and he couldn’t entirely blame her. She was right—fifteen years was a long time, and he wasn’t a part of her life anymore. What was he feeling for her, exactly?
Barrie adjusted her jacket over her hips, and he refused to allow himself to appreciate how well her jeans fit. She’d always been slender when he’d known her, but pregnancy had rounded her from behind as well. Was she right—was he reacting to her pregnancy or to her as a woman? Because she had driven him crazy back then...
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