Looking at that little bundle of yarn, and at the shards of cookies in the tin, he wondered how much he had hurt her by not settling into that nest she’d so lovingly prepared for them. Would it have killed him to compliment the matching towels? It just hadn’t seemed to matter back then, and he’d cared more about tugging her away from it all. But the more he coaxed, the deeper she dug in.
When the food was finished, he brought two plates out to the living room and handed her one.
“Thank you.” She accepted a fork and immediately set into the meal. He watched as she took a bite, then shot him a look of surprise. “This is really good!”
“You aren’t the only one who grew up,” he said. “I’ve improved. What can I say?”
She nodded and took another bite. He sank into the seat next to her, and they ate in silence for a couple of minutes, Barrie making little sounds of enjoyment as she chewed.
“You’re going to be fine,” he said.
She looked over at him, then swallowed. “It’s what I keep saying.”
“Yeah, but I’m telling you,” he said. “You’re going to be just fine. And you don’t have to make shortbread or knit booties, or whatever else you’ve decided would make you the perfect mom.”
“I’m not giving up on the cookies yet,” she said, taking another bite.
“No?” He shrugged. “Thing is, kids like cookies, but they don’t really care if you whip them up by hand or pass them a box from the grocery store.”
“I care.” Her voice was low, but he caught the depth of feeling in those words. This wasn’t only about her child. This was about her needs, too. Maybe Barrie needed these trappings just as much as she thought everyone else did.
“Your kid will love you for what you are, Barrie,” he said. “My mom made really good toast. She might not have been perfect, but man, I loved her.”
Barrie’s cheeks flushed and she met his gaze for a moment, then smiled. “Then I guess I have hope.”
Barrie speared the last piece of sausage and popped it into her mouth. He took her plate, put it on top of his and set them on the floor. Miley came over and licked every inch his tongue could touch, forks rattling against glass as he gave them his full attention.
“Give me your feet,” Curtis said.
“What?” She looked honestly alarmed, and he grinned.
“Give me your feet, Barrie.” He bent and lifted them into his lap as she pivoted on the sofa so she could lean back against the arm. He took one foot in his hands and started gently rubbing in slow, firm circles.
“You don’t have to—”
“I know. Shut up already.” He met her gaze, but he didn’t stop working her feet with slow, measured strokes. He was defying her—daring her to turn this down. For a moment, she was tense, and he thought she might pull away, but then she sighed and shut her eyes.
“This is wildly inappropriate,” she murmured.
“Probably,” he agreed. “But it feels good.”
“Hmm...”
With her eyes closed, he could let his gaze wander over the chestnut locks that framed her face, the roundness of her figure and her belly, down to her feet, which lay warm in his hands. He rubbed the arches of her feet, moving down to her toes—they were cute toes. He knew that from before. He could see her body relax, and he had to admit that he wasn’t just thinking about being helpful right now...he was thinking about taking this a whole lot further.
He wouldn’t. Obviously he wouldn’t, but even pregnant and fifteen years older, she still drew him in. He could see the lines around her eyes, and how her lips were fuller with the pregnancy, or perhaps with her age. She was no longer a lithe twentysomething sweetheart. She was a mature woman with the full bust and plump thighs that made him long to slide his hands up them...
But he wouldn’t. He swallowed. He wasn’t the womanizing type. He’d rarely taken advantage of the offers he’d gotten from girls wanting to have a good time with him. But having Barrie lying on her couch with her feet in his hands...how on earth had this just become the sexiest thing he could imagine?
He kept massaging, watching her chest rise and fall in a slower and slower rhythm.
“Barrie,” he murmured.
“I’m not asleep,” she whispered, as if reading his mind, and her eyes fluttered open. She pushed herself up into a seated position, pulling her feet from his lap, and he regretted having disturbed the moment.
“Okay, well—” He swallowed, because his mind had been going along some dangerous paths there, and he had too many reasons not to mess with Barrie’s peace of mind again. He needed to get out of here now before he did something he regretted.
“I’d better get going,” he said. “I have an early morning.”
She nodded. “Me, too.”
“Look, about what we were discussing in the truck—”
“It was a long time ago, Curtis,” she said with a faint shrug. “We were both a whole lot younger.”
“Even if we hadn’t lasted,” Curtis said quietly, “I wish I’d done better by you.”
“Yeah?” He watched as her lips formed the word, and she was so tempting... She always had been his weak spot.
“Yeah.” She was close enough that he could have moved in and caught those lips with his, but instead, he sucked in a breath and pushed himself to his feet. “I’d better head out, Barrie.”
“Okay. Thanks for dinner and the foot rub.”
Curtis cast her a grin and headed toward the side door, where his boots and hat waited. He knew the limits of what he could endure, and he’d better get out of here before he took some serious advantage. Barrie followed him, Miley padding along behind her, and when he’d done up his coat and dropped his hat back on his head, he turned toward Barrie and found her closer than he’d thought. Her tired eyes widened in surprise, too, but before she could step back, he slid an arm around her waist and tugged her closer against him.
Her belly pressed against his abs, and he looked down at those plump, soft lips, feeling an undeniable hunger rise up inside him. He sucked in a breath. He shouldn’t do it—he knew that. He should walk out and not give himself more to apologize for tomorrow. Barrie was pregnant, sexy as anything, but also vulnerable. This wasn’t a game—
She rose onto the tips of her toes, and her eyes fluttered shut as her lips touched his so lightly that it almost tickled.
“Ah, hell...” he murmured, and he lowered his mouth over hers, deepening the kiss, pulling her harder against him. The room evaporated around him, and there was only Barrie in his arms and her lips moving against his...
But then Miley gave a yip, and Barrie pulled back. Her cheeks blushed crimson and she touched her fingers to her mouth.
“I should go,” he murmured.
She nodded. “Yes. Leave. Bye.”
Curtis chuckled. Did she mean that? He doubted it. If he pressed the issue he could probably get her into his arms again...but this wasn’t right.
“Okay,” he said, pulling open the door. “I’ll see you.”
Barrie nodded, but her eyes still sparkled with that kiss. She’d felt it, too. He could tell. He stepped outside, and she shut the door firmly behind him. They had no business doing this again—it couldn’t end well. But at least that kiss hadn’t been one-sided. She’d felt it, too.
Chapter Nine
Barrie leaned against the door, shut her eyes and let out a soft moan. What had she just done? She’d started that, and he’d most definitely finished it. Kissing him had not been part of the plan!
Maybe it was his consideration in cooking for her and rubbing her feet... That had been the first time since she’d announced her pregnancy that anyone had done something like that for her. She didn’t have a boyfriend, and she’d been so determined to prove she didn’t need one that she hadn’t been
prepared for how good it would feel to have someone take care of her for a change. Add to that his way of looking at her, which had always dissolved her reserve...
“What was I thinking?” She opened her eyes and found Miley staring at her with a look of reproach on his canine face. “I know. It was a bad idea.”
And if only that kiss had proved he couldn’t still make her feel like she was floating...if only that part had changed. But it hadn’t...or more accurately, their level of attraction hadn’t changed, but kissing him had been different than before... Curtis was no longer the eager twenty-year-old. He was a man who had showed some reserve, some self-control. And when he’d finally kissed her, there was something deeper, more urgent than she’d ever sensed from him.
She didn’t get to blame this one on him, either. That was irritating, too. He’d been holding himself back. Sure, he’d pulled her close, but she’d seen the battle on his face, and she’d made the choice for him.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she muttered to herself as she flicked the lock on the door and headed toward her bedroom. Was she really so vulnerable right now that a little bit of kindness and a foot rub could empty her head of all logical thought? Curtis was still the same guy he always was. He’d only just stopped bull riding, and it had taken him fifteen years to give it up! This wasn’t a different man, just an older version of the same guy who’d never been husband enough.
Barrie sank onto the side of her bed. She had a baby coming, and enough problems of her own that the last thing she needed was more complication... She wouldn’t do that again.
Her cell phone rang, and Barrie looked at the number. She heaved a sigh, then picked up the call.
“Dr. Berton?” she said.
“Dr. Jones. How are you doing?”
“Fine, thanks,” she replied. “What can I do for you?”
There was a pause. “Can I call you Barrie?”
“If I can call you Palmer.” She was in no mood to be patronized today.
“Fair enough,” he replied. “Barrie, I have a proposition for you.”
“Oh?” She didn’t even try to hide the wariness in her tone.
“I want you to work for me again,” he said.
“You’ve got to be joking,” she retorted. “We’ve done this before, Palmer. We don’t work well together. I drive you crazy, if you’ll recall.”
“You’re a good vet.”
“I’m more than good,” she said. “I’m also rather stubborn and do things my own way.”
“I’d pay you well, provide health insurance and give you a more regular schedule. With the baby coming, I’m sure that would be helpful.”
“Where is this coming from?” she asked.
“I think it would be beneficial for both of us,” he replied. “I’m getting older, and I find it hard to keep up with the caseload. But still, I have the most clients, and I have thirty years of experience in this community. You’re having a baby soon, and you won’t be able to keep up with the emergency calls anymore. We could both benefit from working together.”
“Under your shingle,” she clarified.
“Yes. I’ve worked for this longer. I’m sure you can recognize that.”
“I’ve worked for this, too,” she said.
“Be reasonable...” Palmer sighed.
“I’m not interested.” She covered her eyes with one hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Barrie, I’m a father. I know the changes in your life that are coming up. Babies take over everything—”
“I’ve worked too hard to build my practice to dump it now!” Barrie tried to calm her rising anger. “And what do you care about my work-life balance? I’m competition, that’s all.”
“You are competition,” he said. “And I’d much rather work with you than against you. We’re both good vets, Barrie. Together we would service all of this county.”
“We could do that separately, too,” she replied. “If you were so interested in working with me, you’d offer to be partners—fifty-fifty.”
“No.” He barked out a bitter laugh. “I’ve been at this for thirty years. You’ve been on your own for what...three years?”
“Four.”
“Four years,” he conceded. “Does that seem fair to you, that I should share everything down the middle after having built up my own practice all this time?”
“I really have no interest in working for you,” she said. “I’m sorry. I like being my own boss, and I’m not willing to give that up.”
“Fine,” he said. “Fair enough. Don’t say I didn’t offer.”
There was something both final and cautionary in his tone, and Barrie’s senses tingled. This was more than a passing offer. She could feel it.
“Does this have to do with the building I lease?” she asked.
He was silent for a moment. “I’m buying it, Barrie.”
“I heard,” she said. “So what’s the plan there? Are you going to push me out of my office space?”
“I’m planning on opening a second clinic,” he said. “I wanted you to be my assistant vet. You’d be able to stay where you are and I’d give you a cut in your current lease.”
“Assistant vet...” she murmured.
“Yes.”
She sighed. The cut in her lease was tempting, but working under Palmer Berton again...she just couldn’t do it!
“Thank you for thinking of me, but it’s too hard to go back to working for someone else, Palmer. I’m sure you can understand that.”
“You really can’t humble yourself to work for me?” he asked incredulously.
“Humble myself?” she snapped. “Would you have given up your practice four years in?”
“I wasn’t a single parent,” he said, his voice quiet. “Your situation is different from mine. You should give this some serious thought.”
She wanted to find her own solution, but she had a suspicion that wasn’t going to be so easy. Palmer Berton had confirmed that he was buying her clinic space, which was good information to have, but now she was backed into a corner. She’d have to find a new space to lease and renovate it to suit her purposes all before the baby was born. And then what? He had a point. None of this would be easy. She’d been hoping to build herself up enough that she could survive without the emergency calls, but what if she couldn’t? Dr. Berton expanding to two offices might affect her ability to do so. She still didn’t have a solution for all of the changes coming up. Dr. Berton’s offer was actually logical. Except she hadn’t worked this hard for this long to just give up her autonomy.
“Dr. Berton,” she said at last. “I appreciate the offer, and I can see the benefits of your plan. I’m not turning you down because I’m angry or dislike you. This isn’t personal. This is about my practice, and that’s personal in a whole different way. I’m determined to stay afloat on my own.”
“You’re sure?”
Was this just a little bit of pride getting in her way? Possibly. “I’m sure. But thank you for the offer.”
“Alright then.” Dr. Berton sighed. “I’ll be in touch when the sale is final, and we can hammer out the details for your exit.”
Was she an idiot for holding out, hoping for some solution to present itself? But she knew that she’d regret it more if she agreed to something prematurely and discovered later that she could have kept her own practice intact. That would hurt a whole lot more.
“I suppose there is no way around that,” she said. “Have a good night.”
She hung up the phone and tossed it onto her bedside table. Miley sat down in front of her and leaned his large head into her lap, soulful eyes looking up at her. Dr. Berton didn’t need to do this. He already ran his own practice. He didn’t need to expand to swallow her little corner of the business, too, yet he was doing it.
; “Blast,” she muttered and sucked in a shaky breath. She smoothed a hand over Miley’s head and gave him a sad smile.
“I didn’t work this hard to lose it, Miley,” she said, and Miley looked back at her in silence. She liked things planned and predictable. She liked to know what was coming and be prepared for the worst. Ironically, that was exactly what Dr. Berton was offering her—stability. But she just couldn’t work for him. She still had her pride.
* * *
THE NEXT EVENING, Curtis stopped off at the Honky Tonk for a beer. It was located in the west end of town—a short, dumpy building with a neon sign that flickered and buzzed in a blacked out window. He didn’t come to the bar often; in fact, he hadn’t been here since he’d arrived back in Hope, but he needed some space to himself, and the Honky Tonk seemed like the place to get it.
Curtis ordered himself a beer—his limit, since he’d be driving later—and headed toward the back of the bar, which was a little less populated. A few Christmas decorations were up—a faded wreath on one wall, some garland hung in loops along the front counter. A green felt pool table had a few cowboys surrounding it, and across from the pool table were a dartboard and a couple of old guys playing. Their aim was remarkably good for their level of inebriation. The Honky Tonk was the kind of place that was depressing if you weren’t already half in the bag, and the last fifteen years hadn’t improved it.
In fact, back when he’d been married, Barrie had made him promise that he wouldn’t go there. Controlling, his friends had called it, but he’d understood her fear. All too many guys drank away their paychecks in the Honky Tonk, then went home to their wives with their tails between their legs. Curtis had never wanted to be one of them. It had been one of his and Barrie’s deals—marriage being full of deals, he’d found out. Sitting here now still felt like a betrayal to her, but he wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t her husband and he owed her nothing when it came to his leisure time or his paychecks.
Curtis sat near the back, his beer in front of him and his elbows on the table. The jukebox played a mournful holiday tune about a cowboy grieving a lost love, which wasn’t doing much for his mood right now. He hadn’t expected to feel that strongly about Barrie—not after all these years. He was no longer the hot-headed cowboy with six-pack abs. And she was no longer the slim girl with the shining eyes. They were both older, and in his case, a little more beaten up. But the sensation of her body pulled hard against his was so sharp in his memory that his heart sped up even thinking about it. She was softer now, rounder, and very obviously pregnant. She was attractive in a whole new way that fired his blood up like some young buck. He knew better than to go there again, so what had happened?
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