by Lorrie Kruse
She locked gazes with him. Was it possible he wouldn’t disappear from her life like everyone else? “Yes, you are.”
§
Sunday dawned early after the late night, but Matt felt exhilarated, anyhow, as he sat in Jenny’s hospital room surrounded by his family. He looked down at the little baby—Lucas Matthew—snug in his arms. He smiled as he listened to the room buzzing with multiple conversations, all going at once. Such chaos. Amazing how it filled him with a sense of peace.
Abby crowded closer to him and lifted Lucas’s hand. The baby’s fingers, no fatter than roofing nails, closed around her thumb. When she smiled and looked at Matt, he felt a wave of emotion unlike any he’d ever felt before, like everything in his world had settled into place. Nothing mattered other than this moment, this place, and the people he was with. Abby included.
Matt’s eyes stayed locked with hers for much longer than he could remember ever having looked at Crystal. He had no desire to ever look away. The baby stretched and let out a mewing wail like a newborn kitten, drawing Abby’s attention away from Matt in the process.
As he looked away from Abby, he caught sight of his father across the room staring at him, his gaze as intense as hers had been. Even though he knew he’d done nothing wrong, Matt still looked away like a guilty child caught with a screwdriver in one hand and a brand new toaster in the other. He sensed his father still staring at him. Probably soaking up the view of Matt holding Lucas since it’d probably be the closest Matt would ever come to having a baby.
Little Lucas pulled Abby’s thumb to his mouth. “I think the baby’s hungry,” she said.
“Would you like to feed him?” Jenny asked.
Abby’s eyes widened. “May I? You wouldn’t mind?”
“Knock yourself out.”
Abby took Lucas from Matt. Like an expert, she cradled the baby in her arms and took the bottle Matt’s mother offered.
Matt’s father stood from his perch on the windowsill. “Too much sitting,” he said. “I need to walk. Matt, you want to join me.”
Not a question.
Matt glanced over at Abby. She looked beautiful holding Lucas. So happy. He hated missing even one second of this.
His father cleared his throat.
Abby’s gaze connected with Matt’s, silently asking what was brewing. Matt shrugged. She thrust her chin at the door, saying he’d better go before his father dragged him out. “I’ll make sure little Lucas doesn’t do anything cute while you’re gone.”
“Good luck with that.”
Feeling very much like one of the many times he’d been called to the principal’s office, he followed his father from the room. The walk ended halfway down the hall when his father led him to the waiting room where he immediately took a seat.
Matt’s mind whirled while he tried to figure out what he’d done to deserve this special one-on-one.
“How serious are things with you and this Abby girl?”
He almost laughed. That was what his father had pulled him away for? “I don’t know, Dad. We don’t have our comedy routine ironed out yet. Does that make it serious?”
His father crossed his arms.
“We’re just friends. That’s all.”
“Then there’s no reason for you not to come back home and try to make a go at things with Crystal.”
Not what Matt expected to hear. At all. “Nothing other than the reasons why we broke up in the first place.” Like the fact that Derrick still existed.
“I think it’s time you come home and work on those reasons. Faith will be moving out of your house in a couple months. You can stay with your mother and me until then.”
Nope, not the conversation he expected at all. “I need more time.”
“Then I’ll buy you a couple of watches.” There was no hint of teasing in his father’s expression.
“I can’t come home yet.”
“This have something to do with Derrick?”
Matt’s gaze shifted to the picture behind his father. Being called to the principal’s office would have been much easier. “There’s nothing with Derrick.”
“He’s not seeing Crystal, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
His eyes shot back to his father, and his mouth started flapping as the words flowed from his heart. “That doesn’t make it any easier to accept what they did.” His brain caught up, and he frowned. His father knew about Crystal and Derrick?
“That son-of-a-bitch.” His father sprang from the chair.
Matt sighed as he closed his eyes. His father had been trolling for information, and he’d latched onto the bait—hook, line, and sinker.
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Because you need him on the job.”
“Well, I certainly don’t need him anymore.”
Matt rubbed his forehead. Last night had been too long and too filled with worry. He was too tired for this conversation. “They made a mistake. You can’t fire him over a mistake.”
“You’re defending them?”
Matt’s eyelid pulled and stretched as he made circles on his forehead with his fingertips.
“Okay,” his father said. “Fine. Forget Crystal. Forget Derrick. We’ve only got another couple months on the group home. This was your project. I want you to come home and help finish it.”
Like Matt’s being there would make a difference.
“You’ve already got all the help you need.”
His father stood. “Just come home.”
Matt closed his eyes and listened to his father’s footsteps carrying him away. Yup. Would have been better to visit the principal. Three days of detention and it’d be over.
§
Abby’s step was light and airy as she walked down the hallway to visit her mother the next day. The memory of Matt holding his nephew made her smile. It amazed her how gentle he could be with something so tiny. And he was a natural. He was going to make a wonderful father.
She just wished she could get him to believe the things she kept trying to prove to him. That he was a value to Huntz & Sons Construction, in or out of a wheelchair. That he could still have the life he’d planned, even without a recovery. That he was such a special man.
She stepped into her mother’s room, not one bit surprised to see one of the other residents sitting at the other end of the bed. “Hi, Mom. Sandra.”
Her mother’s eyes lit up. She held up a clay form that was recognizable as a bird. “Look what Matt made for me.”
Abby’s smile fell. “Matt?”
Her mother nodded. “Matt came. He made this.”
Abby held back a groan. She never should have brought Matt along that one time. Her mother had asked when Matt was coming back every day since she’d brought him. Now, like the imaginary visits from her father, she’d have to put up with fake visits from Matt, as well.
Sandra hugged Abby’s mother. “I go now that Abby here. See you ‘morrow.”
“‘Morrow,” Helen parroted as she waved to her friend.
Abby sat beside her mother and eyed the bird. The clay model was very detailed. Complete with feathers and shaped wings. She wondered where it’d come from. “Shall we color?” she asked, hoping her mother wouldn’t bring up Matt again.
“Matt colored me a new picture.” She pointed to a neatly colored picture taped to the wall.
So much for that plan. “Well, Matt’s been very busy, hasn’t he?”
Her mother nodded. “He was activity leader today. He’ll come every day, but not on Wednesday. We cook on Wednesday. He said he doesn’t cook. But he said he might come to eat.” She rubbed her stomach. “He likes to eat.”
Knowing it was best to humor her mother, she said, “Then you make sure you cook him something good, okay?”
She pulled two coloring books and a box of crayons from her mother’s shelf and returned to the bed. Opening one book to a random page, she handed it to her mother, who promptly closed it and picked up a word search magazine.
/> Amazed pride spread through Abby as she watched from the corner of her eye while Helen ran the tip of her pencil above the paper, looking for the first word. Such a change from the woman who hadn’t been able to figure out how to turn a page not that long ago. A change that Abby, the physical therapist Abby, should have been responsible for and not the staff at Hot Springs.
She gnawed on her bottom lip.
It didn’t matter if she’d been responsible or not. Her mother was making strides. That’s what mattered. If her mother kept up at this pace, Charles Presthed might very well have another success story to add to his résumé. As much as she disliked the man, she had a feeling she’d be tempted to hug him if her mother was released to independent living.
She pictured her mother in a group home like the one Matt’s father was building. Hopefully, her mother would be able to move into such a home. Such a wonderful thought.
Turning her attention back to her coloring book, she flipped through the pages. An already colored-in picture caught her eye. It was the picture Matt had done the night she’d brought him with her. In the lower right corner, he’d printed M. L. H. She looked at the picture taped to the wall. A wave of emotion washed through her when she noticed a blur of writing in the same location.
She picked up the clay bird from the table where her mother was solving her word-search puzzle. Her heart skipped a beat. The initials M. L. H. were etched into the bottom.
What was he up to? she wondered as she picked a purple crayon out of the box and colored in a fish. Since the move to Milwaukee, she usually welcomed her time with her mother. Tonight, time dragged because she needed to call Matt. Finally, her mother yawned. Abby knew she shouldn’t be happy, but she was. “Looks like someone’s about ready for bed.”
Her mother nodded. “Go to sleep so tomorrow comes. Bring Matt with it.”
“You say hi to him.” Abby gave her mother a hug. “I love you.” As the words came out, she realized they were true. She did love her mother. Very much. She gave her mother an extra squeeze and a kiss and then waved goodbye.
As soon as she got outside the building, she pulled her cell phone from her purse and dialed Matt’s number. “Did you have an interesting day?”
“You just visited your mom, didn’t you?”
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Chill, okay?”
She clenched the cell phone. “Not until you tell me what you’re up to.”
“I’m not up to anything. I went to visit your mom, that’s all.”
“That’s all, huh? That’s not what I hear. I hear you’re working there now.”
“Your mom was in the activities room. I helped out. Next thing I know, this arrogant jerk is offering me a job.”
“Charles Presthed?”
“Yeah, Prickhead. That’d be the guy.”
“So you are going to be working there.” What he did with his time was his business. So why did it bother her so darn much?
“It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do. Where else am I going to get paid to play all day?”
She flashed forward through the future. She saw her mother becoming dependent on Matt. Then Matt disappearing from their lives with an I’ll see you soon. Her mother would be crushed. That’s what bothered her. “Matt, you cannot take the job.”
“Why not?”
“What if my mother becomes dependent on you?”
“So all the other employees there should quit, too? Just to keep your mom from becoming dependent on them?”
“You know what I mean,” she snapped, angry because if what he’d said made sense, then what she’d said didn’t.
“No, Abby. I don’t. If I take the job, how am I different from any other employee there?”
“Do what you want, Matt. Just don’t you break my mother’s heart.”
“Isn’t it your heart you’re worried about?”
She punched the end call button and stormed across the parking lot, her fingers clenched around the phone. How dare he suggest she was worried about herself and not her mother.
The phone vibrated, announcing an incoming call. Matt, she assumed. The vibration spurred her to walk faster. Five feet from her car, the phone went still, as did she while she waited for the quick buzz to indicate he’d left a message.
A car drove into the parking lot and then turned around. Too much time had passed. He hadn’t bothered to leave a message.
She hunched her purse strap higher on her shoulder and took a step forward. So he hadn’t left a message. Big deal. She hadn’t wanted a message from him, anyhow.
The phone vibrated again. Another incoming call. She looked at the display. Matt’s number. Her legs felt weak and her heart raced and her stomach floated inside her. How could she be happy he’d called when she was still mad at him? She punched the answer button. “What?”
“Abby,” he said with a gentle voice. “If you don’t want me to take the job, I won’t. If you don’t want me to visit your mom, I won’t. If you want me to drop dead, well, sorry, you’re on your own with that one.”
She let out a little laugh and hated him and loved him all at the same time for his managing to work that reaction out of her.
“I like your mom. But I like you more. You tell me what you want, okay?”
She knew what she wanted, but she couldn’t allow herself to go down that road. As soon as she let herself believe she had a future with him, everything would get all messed up and he’d be gone from her life. She couldn’t stand that. “I worry about her.”
“I know you do.”
“I wish you’d told me before you went to visit her.”
“I’m sorry. It was a spur of the moment thing. After being home this weekend, I guess I was a little homesick. I couldn’t be with my family, so I spent time with yours.”
She wanted to tell him no, he couldn’t take the job, but she couldn’t do it. “You decide, Matt. If you want the job, take it.”
“Thanks, Abby. Any chance you haven’t eaten dinner yet?”
She laughed again. “I rarely get to eat before I visit Mom.”
“I’m just heating up some of that lasagna Ma sent home with me. It’s more than I need to eat by myself. And I’d like your company.”
“I’ll be over.” The words slipped out before she could stop them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
July melted into August, and life with Matt settled into a comfortable friendship, free of romance. Which was just fine with Abby. She didn’t need him to be anything more than a friend. What she did need, though, was to knock some sense into him. He was so stubborn, and he was totally stuck in his belief that he had to give up the life he’d planned. But she had an idea. A little dream he’d once mentioned that she was about to bring to reality.
She eased the borrowed SUV to a stop in front of Matt’s apartment. Pulling a camper had been no different than pulling a U-Haul, although she’d be more than willing to pass over the driving responsibilities to Matt once she let him in on his surprise outing. Thankfully, the SUV belonged to Ryan and was all set up with hand controls.
She climbed out of the Ford Explorer and noticed Matt wheeling out of the apartment building. A sudden ache in her heart fought the usual weightless sensation upon seeing him. Two nights cooped up with him in a tiny camper. If she made it through this weekend pretending she was content being just friends, it would be a miracle.
His chocolate brown gaze went from her to the camper. When it came back to her, his eyes melted into her, bringing with it that floating sensation again.
“Surprise,” she said, praying the surprise wouldn’t be on her.
“You’re taking me camping?”
“Door County.”
“Biking,” he said, reciting his dream vacation. “Taking in the view. All those orange and red leaves.”
“Unfortunately it’s too early for the leaves to change, but I think I can manage the rest of your dream vacation.” As long as he’d forgotten the s
ex part. Because that wasn’t going to happen. Not even so much as a kiss. Or a hug. Nada. None. Not if she had any hope of keeping him in her life.
“We get to live the dream until Sunday evening,” Abby said. “Then it’s back to reality.”
§
Abby had chosen the perfect weekend for their camping trip Matt thought the next afternoon as he pedaled behind her on his new hand-control bike. Not too hot. Not too cool. Everything perfect, even with the trees full of green leaves instead of orange, red, and yellow. Not like he would have paid attention to the leaves if they had been in full color. Not when the view in front of him was more appealing. Hair pulled away from a neck he wanted to nibble. Pedals being pumped by shapely calves he wanted to caress. The occasional glimpse of the outline of plump breasts he’d love to lick.
He kept his speed steady as she slowed down, bringing them side by side. The view only got better. “Thanks for renting a recumbent style bike for yourself,” he said. “I’m getting used to the looks whenever I go somewhere, but it’s kind of nice to blend in every now and then.”
She laughed. Like he’d said something funny.
“What?” he asked.
“You? Blend in? Don’t you know that you turn heads wherever you go and your chair’s got nothing to do with it?”
He didn’t get it. Whenever he looked in the mirror, he saw an average looking man. Nothing special. Yet, for some reason, women found him attractive. He was surprised, however, to discover that Abby did, as well.
She hadn’t seemed the least bit fazed when she’d burst into the camper this morning. There he’d been, face down, buck naked, checking his skin with a mirror for breakdown, and she’d looked him straight on and asked where the matches were. Not even a hint of pink had colored her cheeks. If she hadn’t been affected by his naked ass, then it was unlikely she had any opinion on his looks. “Must be the huge wart on my nose.”
“Yeah, that’d be it.” She flashed that damn buy-these-gloves smile and then appeared to be enthralled by the scenery and not the wildlife pedaling the bike next to her. How different she was from Crystal, who stared at the ground in front of her tire as though the road were the only thing that existed.