by R. A. Mejia
Instead of complaining we quietly shuffle out of the boss room. I remember to pick up the Shields of Pointy Pain and drop them in my [Inventory]. It takes us a couple of hours to backtrack through the tunnels to find the three remaining jewels and rings. Each time we pull the ring, skeletons drop from the ceiling. However, after all the times we’ve fought them, these skeletons don’t stand a chance and are dead…well deader, within a minute of dropping to the ground. These easy kills get each of us another forty-two XP.
By the time we return to the room that had the archers, we’re a bit sick of walking around these tunnels. All four jewels that are embedded in the frame of the door are now lit, and Mary easily opens the double doors that lead to the boss’s room.
Chapter 4.10
Mary opens the double doors to the boss room, and we all ready our best weapons and spells. I have my spear, Vrax his shortsword, and Mary’s summons Mr. Snuggle Butt. Kitsune decides to equip one of the Pointy Shields of Pain. She tried using both, but the two of them were too much for her strength score.
Taking point, my first steps past the threshold into the room are full of tension. Everything in front of me is dark, and even with my [Darkvision], I can’t see the far side of the room from here. My two handed grip on the wooden shaft of my spear tightens as I move farther into the chamber. The floor is covered with a fine layer of dust that I kick up with each step. No one's been here for a while. I can feel the rest of the group trailing behind me and the light from Mary’s spell reassures me that I’m not alone.
Since I can’t sense anything amiss with my eyes, my ears seem to be going into overdrive trying to find out where the level boss is at. My feet stop when I hear the tiniest of sounds. I close my eyes and focus my hearing. The faint sound comes into focus. Tap. Tap. Tap. There. In front of me and to the right. That’s where the sound is coming from.
I let the rest of the group catch up and silently point in the direction that the sound I detected is coming from. Vrax, now to my right confirms with a nod that something is making noises in that direction. The group shifts into a defensive formation. Vrax and I out in front, evenly spaced. Kitsune and Mary trailing behind about six feet and Mr. Snuggle Butt between us as an added layer of protection.
We creep forward another five feet when I hear a familiar ‘click,’ and the room begins to brighten. I shut my eyes tight as I deactivate [Darkvision]. I learned my lesson from that last room and don’t want to get blinded. Especially not when we’re facing the level boss. When I open my eyes again, I can see that the far wall is about twenty feet away from us and that in the far right hand corner is a large object covered in cobwebs and dust. That must be where the tapping is coming from.
Before I can investigate further, the dungeon master’s voice rings through the room with an announcer's boom, “Welcome to the second boss room adventurers. Today you’ll be facing the undead bovine of brutality. The crusher of a thousand vertebrae. Regal Ryan!”
The tip of my spear waves left and right as I shift my body looking for the boss monster to appear. I see the rest of the group scanning the room expecting the same. But nothing appears.
The dungeon master’s voice says in a stage whisper, “Ryan! That’s your cue.” Then, ever so slightly, the cobweb covered object in the corner of the room moves. At first, it’s just a shift in the cobwebs that could easily be attributed to an errant breeze. Then with the groaning sound of a wooden chair being sat in again, the dust covered object slowly rises. It’s five feet tall, then six feet, then finally it stops at what must be at least seven feet high. By now I can make out a humanoid silhouette under the dust and cobwebs. The thing breaks the cobwebs covering it with a shake and stretches out its arms into the air and begins wiping off the remaining dust covering it. It reveals a skeletal body that partially reminds me of a tall human. Only this one has two large hoofs instead of feet and two large horns covered in metal protruding from its skull. It’s the skeleton of a minotaur.
Instead of the blank, vapid feeling, I got from the other skeletal creatures on the level. This one has two bright red dots that peer at us from inside its bull skull. It scans our group while it shakes off the last bits of dust. I expect the creature to roar and charge our group as I’ve seen minotaurs do in countless fantasy movies. Instead, the creature rolls its neck as if working out a kink. Then it turns its back to us, facing the corner of the room, and sits back down kicking up the dust that’s accumulated there.
I glance at the other members of my team and see that they’re as surprised as I am. Does this mean that the boss is refusing to fight? I call out to the dungeon master, “Uh, I’m not sure if you can tell or not but Regal Ryan seems to be refusing to fight. Does this mean we win by default?”
The dungeon master’s voice yells out, “What?!? What do you mean he’s not fighting? Never mind I’ll ask him myself.” Instead of the dungeon master’s voice echoing through the whole room, it seems to travel just to where the skeletal minotaur is. I can hear the two of them whispering. Then the dungeon master exclaims loudly, “But that’s in his contract!” Then more whispering.
I’m starting to get a little bored when the skeletal form of the minotaur suddenly rises from the ground and turns to face us. However, instead of attacking us, a long bone pole with a broad base appears in front of the creature. The skeletal minotaur then proceeds to do a series of stretches.
I’m trying to puzzle out what’s happening when the dungeon master’s voice says in an annoyed tone, “Ok. Sorry about the delay folks. Here’s the deal. Ryan over there heard that Stevie Shadows got to perform before fighting you and he refuses to do anything unless he gets a chance to perform too.” Then he chuckles and says, “Artists, right? Well, if you’ll just be patient and wait for his set to finish, I’ll boost the reward you get if you beat him. Ok?”
I glance at my team and see that Mary has already taken a seat on the back of Mr. Snuggle Butt and that Kitsune and Vrax have already sat down in preparation of watching the performance. I shrug and say, “Sure. It’s no sweat off my back. I understand that an artist needs to…um...art…sometimes.”
I take a seat next to my kobold brood brother and watch as a platform rises from the floor in the corner of the room under the minotaur. The minotaur coughs into his hand once then speaks into the bone pole in front of him and his voice echoes in the room, “Test. Test. Is this thing on?” Vrax waves up at the minotaur signaling that we can hear him. The minotaur waves back and continues, “Ok, this next song is dedicated to Wendy the Wight. I love you, sweetie.” Then the minotaur starts to sing a ballad that touches my very soul. It’s about the heartbreak of loving someone for a hundred years only to have them never return your feelings. At one point Ryan stops singing, and the sounds of brass instruments start to play. It takes me a moment to realize that the horns on his skull have been modified to double as saxophones. The sad sounds only add to the sorrowful tune.
As the music comes to an end, I find that a single tear drop has mysteriously appeared on my cheek. As I wipe it away, I mutter, “Stupid dust in the room.” I hear Mary say something and turn to find her and Kitsune sniffling while petting Mr. Snuggle Butt’s head, which is in Kitsune’s lap. I don’t think the wolf appreciates the music as much as he enjoys the extra pets he’s getting.
The crooning minotaur skeleton plays two more songs. The first is a song that reminds me of swing music with lyrics about jauntily hopping through a meadow. The other song is a weird collection of notes and singing that he calls “experimental.” I don’t know what that means, but the song hurts my ears. When the third song ends, the dungeon master calls out, “That’s quite enough Ryan. You’ve gotten your performance. It’s time to fulfill our agreement and fight the nice adventurers.”
The minotaur skeleton stops and looks a bit pouty. Well, as much as something without skin and muscles can look pouty. But he bows in acquiescence, and the stone platform he’s standing on lowers to the ground. The dungeon master continues, “Good.
Now, adventurers, if you're ready?”
My team gets up from the floor and prepares itself for the fight. When we’re all prepared, I call out, “All ready!”
The dungeon master takes up his announcer's voice and says, “Then let's get ready to rumble! On the count of three, we’ll begin. One. Two. Three.” On three, a bell rings, and the minotaur skeleton roars from his place in the corner of the room. However, his roar isn’t just a sound that comes from his throat. It also seems to emanate from his brass horns. The sound of the roar causes a sharp pain in my head, and I stumble to the floor. When the roar stops, there’s still a ringing in my head, and I feel dizzy. I have a hard time standing, and it takes a couple of tries to get back to my feet. I shake my head to clear away the last of the dizziness. I can see that the minotaur is waving his hands in grand circles but can’t make out what he’s saying through the ringing in my ears. When I look around at my team, I find Vrax on the floor covering his ears with his hands. He must have suffered more from the sound than I did because of his more sensitive hearing. The other members of my team are up on their feet, though the wolf appears rather pissed off.
I ready my spear in both hands and charge Royal Ryan. However, before I can close the distance with the creature, he finishes whatever he’s doing, and three clouds of smoke appear between us. I have to pull up hastily, or I’ll crash right into whatever has appeared. As the smoke clears away, I see three arcane circles and inside them are skeletal warriors. Only these ones are better armed and armored than anything we’ve faced in the rest of the dungeon. Each warrior is covered in full studded leather armor. Two of the skeletons carry shortswords and shields, and the last one has a large two handed sword. The two skeletal warriors with the shields rush towards me in unison, their shields in front of them providing a united defensive front. They hold their shortswords in their right hands above their shields ready to stab down at me when they get in range.
I skip backwards out of range of their swords but immediately attack one of the skeletons with my spear, using the extra attack range of my weapon to my advantage. The tip of my spear strikes forward, and I think that I might get a hit. However, the shield of the skeleton I’m attacking moves up just enough to deflect my attack. I realize then that my spear won’t be effective against these two. They have too great an advantage with their shields.
I take a moment to glance around the room and see that Royal Ryan hasn’t moved and is protected by the two skeletal warriors with shields. However, the third skeleton has already begun moving towards the more vulnerable members of my party. I see Kitsune backing away from the creature, the shield in her hands forgotten for the moment. Mary seems unsure what to do, and Vrax is only now getting to his feet.
I point at the skeleton approaching them and yell, “Target.” The familiar call seems to shake the jitters out of everyone and Mary begins to wave her hands in the air as Mr. Snuggle Butt rushes the skeleton. I return my attention to the two shield bearers in front of me and see them take a step forward then stop. I look behind them and see the skeletal minotaur shaking his head. It seems like Royal Ryan is unwilling to let them leave their place as his protectors.
I abandon my fight with them and rush to help kill the skeleton wielding the two handed sword. I arrive just in time to see the creature bring his sword down in a powerful overhand blow. The sword clangs loudly off the stone floor, striking the place that Mr. Snuggle Butt was just a moment before. The agile wolf dodges to the side and rushes forward biting the right forearm of the skeleton. One arm occupied by the jaw of the wolf, the undead creature is unable to pull the sword up off the floor. Mary finishes the spell she’s casting, and green spiked vines burst from the ground and entangle the skeleton’s legs. Between being pulled by the wolf and having its legs trapped, the skeletal warrior loses its balance and falls forward. I take the opportunity for what it is and leap onto its back, my spear is cast away, and I begin to pummel it with my knuckle busters.
Damage dealt: 4
Damage dealt: 3
Damage dealt: 5
The knuckle busters seem to be penetrating the leather armor the skeletal warrior is wearing. I dismiss the damage notifications and continue to hit the creature until it collapses into a pile of bones. An instant later the body and all its equipment disappear in a puff of smoke.
You’ve helped kill Summoned Skeletal Slasher, lvl 4. You gain 0 XP.
I notice that instead of leaving a loot bag or gaining XP, I’m left sitting over nothing. I’m puzzled for a second but am drawn out of my contemplation by a sharp pain in my back.
Damage received: 6
I look over my shoulder to see two new skeletons holding bows on either side of the ones with shields. The two skeletal archers fire at me again and I have to dodge to my right to avoid getting hit. Glancing around I see that Kitsune standing over Vrax, her hand glowing green and poised over the kobolds bleeding ears. I don’t have any more time to check out what else is happening in the room as two more arrows come hurtling towards me. I’m able to turn to the side just enough to avoid one but am hit by the other in the shoulder.
Damage received: 7
I pull the arrow from my shoulder with a grunt. I look at my new enemies and see three purple bolts of energy hit the skeletal archer on the left.
Mary deals damage: 3
Mary deals damage: 4
Mary deals damage: 3
I smile, point to the archer on the left and yell out, “Mary, take lefty, and I’ll take care of righty.”
I don’t wait for a response and run towards the archer on the right. I’m almost there when I see three more magic missiles fly past me.
Mary deals damage: 6
Mary deals damage: 3
Mary deals damage: 4
You’ve party has killed a Summoned Skeletal Bowman, lvl 4. You gain 0 XP.
I hear Mary laugh and she calls out, “Mine’s down. What’s taking you so long with yours?”
I grin as I leap feet first towards the other skeletal archer, meaning to knock it down and finish it off with my fists. Instead, the closest skeletal warrior with a shield steps in front of me, taking the blow on the center of his shield. I crash to the ground, the momentum of my attack spent and the skeletal warrior is pushed backwards into the archer. Who in turn falls back onto Royal Ryan, disrupting whatever spell he was trying to cast.
I grin, appreciating that the move I improvised worked better than I thought it would. Unfortunately, I’d forgotten about the other skeletal warrior. Who decided to take the opportunity to try and skewer me and was now looming over me, sword poised to strike. My eyes widen at the sight, and I instinctively cover my face with my first hoping to take the blow on my knuckle busters, but the attack never lands. When I look past my hands, I see Mr. Snuggle Butt biting the undead creature’s legs and Vrax clinging to its back. The combined efforts of the two dragging the undead creature backwards to the ground.
I scramble to my feet and leave the fallen skeleton to Vrax. I’m immediately met by the shield bearing skeleton that I knocked back. His shield glows briefly before slamming into me.
Damage received: 5 (Shield Bash)
My head rings from the attack, and I find myself unable to focus. Dammit, I must have taken the stun from that shield bash. The pain in my head is followed up with a sharp pain in my side.
Damage received: 11 (critical hit)
I look down and see a shortsword sticking out of my side, its handle held by a skeletal hand. Then I glance up to the corner of my vision where my health bar is and see that it’s already halfway gone. The skeleton pulls the blade back and readies it for another strike but before he does a green glow surrounds the wound he just left me and the pain in my side lessens. I glance at my health bar and see that it’s now nearly full again.
I grin wildly at my opponent, knowing that our genius healer has come to the rescue. I dodge to my right, avoiding the thrust from the skeleton in front of me. I know that as long as I keep in front of it
s shield, its ability to stab me will be significantly reduced. However, that won’t win me this fight. So instead, I take a note from Vrax and drop to the ground in a crouch and sweep my right leg out in front of me. In the back of my mind, I hear the Cobra Kai chant, “Sweep the Leg!” I wince in pain as my shin connects with the side of the skeleton’s bony legs and it comes crashing to the ground. Damn, I’ll have to make some stone shin guards if I’m going to use that move in the future.
I scramble on top of the fallen creature and pin its shield to its body with my weight. It tries to stab at me with its shortsword, but my foot pins its arm to the ground. I take a moment to look up and make sure no one else is going to try and stab me and see that not only have Vrax and Mr. Snuggle Butt finished off the other skeletal warrior, but they’re already attacking the archer. I must have missed the damage notifications.
I return my attention to my own opponent and start to hit it with my knuckle busters.