Undesirable

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by Laura Stapleton


  “I’ve already lost this round anyway.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and continued, “Your interruption is welcome, in fact. I’m very glad you stopped to chat with us.” She flushed an even deeper shade of pink, crossed her arms, and drew a line back and forth in the dirt with one foot. “With Jimmy and me, I mean, but then, probably mostly Jimmy. Of course, since you’re both men and all, you’d want to talk about men things with him. Or not, I’m not sure.” Her cheeks grew redder as the seconds passed.

  Sam tried not to laugh at her fluster. “Losing that badly, then?”

  “Sadly, yes. His prior bad throw didn’t do enough for my score.” She turned to the boy. “We’ll have to play again in the evening.” Over his protests, she added, “I know, but I promised your mother, so please take your game back to the wagon.”

  The young man ambled to them, reluctance showing with his every step. In what must be a routine, Marie held open a cloth bag while the boy dropped the ball. Sam dismounted, wanting to do anything to regain her attention. He helped Jimmy add pins to the bag. “Does the loser owe the winner anything after a game of this?”

  Jimmy’s face lit up like a full moon. “Yeah, the loser should owe the winner something!”

  “Not exactly,” she laughed with a mock frown at Sam. “Winner gets bragging rights; loser gets to practice for later.”

  “Great, since I get to take these for practice and get to brag.” Jimmy had a smirk before leaving at his mother’s holler.

  The lady shook her head, saying to Sam, “That boy is too corruptive. I’m supposed to be preparing lunch, not playing games.”

  “Persuasion will get him far in life. Influence always worked for me.”

  She laughed, “I can imagine so.” Taking a step back, Marie added, “A pleasure chatting with you. Take care.”

  The smile felt stiff on his face. Considering his more pressing tasks, he needed to move on to his chores. Instead, Sam grinned in response to her shy glance. She returned his smile, leaving him wanting to ignore whatever else needed doing for the rest of the day to spend the time with her.

  “Granville!”

  His focus wrenched from Marie to Charles Warren standing behind her. A hundred thoughts raced through Sam’s mind, most dealing with giving the man a distracting chore so as to resume his chat with Marie. He smiled, schooling his features into an impassive mask. “Good day, Mr. Warren. I’ll be with you in a moment.”

  Warren continued, seeming unaware, “We’re camped a few wagons down the way. Follow me, and I’ll show you where.”

  Sam took his horse’s reins and smiled at Marie, “I do hope to see-”

  Addressing Marie, Warren interjected, “Hessy’s at the river, washing up from noon dinner. I assume you had better things to do, else you’d be helping her.” He turned and walked away.

  Marie scowled, and then smoothed her expression as she followed. “I didn’t leave until everything was done.”

  Charles’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think you need to say anything more in front of Mr. Granville and show him your ill manners. Go help Hester while I conduct my business. I insist.”

  Marie stood in front of him, silent, her hands clasped behind her back, her expression surly. “Very well, I can table this discussion for the moment.” She reminded Sam of a rebellious youngster as she stared at his boots. “Mr. Granville, a pleasure. Good day.” Not even stealing a peek at Sam, she walked to the front of their wagon, then down to the river. Her body seemed to quiver with irritation.

  “How about that?”

  The question jolted Sam back to the conversation he was supposed to be having. What had the man been muttering? Sounded like something to do with the livestock, possibly. “You’ll have to excuse me. An item you’d mentioned earlier led my thoughts down a tangent.”

  “Am I keeping you from other duties? I’m afraid to ask anything more about the prairie at the moment, for fear of keeping you too long.”

  “Sad to say, there are items I must attend to before we leave.” Tipping his hat, Sam swung up onto his horse. He cantered away, his mind swirling with ways to end his attraction to Mrs. Warren. Yet, her request for a kiss made him want to see her often during the trip. “Damn.” He had a lot more empathy for Nick. If his brother had been this smitten with his new wife, Beth, it's a wonder Nick waited before claiming her as his own. Sam's sane mind knew his feelings for Marie weren't rational. He also knew infatuations were temporary. The woman had to have an undiscovered character flaw; maybe she was an ice maiden. He remembered her saloon dress and laughed at the idea, knowing he’d have to keep searching for another reason to dislike her.

  The day dawned slowly, gray drizzle obscuring last night’s tracks. Unable to boil up any coffee, Sam and his men growled more than spoke to each other. Sodden blankets dripped early morning rain from the ribs holding up the canvas tops. He hoped the skies would clear and their bedding dry by nightfall.

  Packing up, he saw some of the sickest in his group struggle a little less than they had yesterday. They were leaving some of the worst country for cholera. If he could keep everyone uninjured and healthy, they’d reach Oregon with energy to spare. By midday, the sun peeked from behind low clouds. The light mist hadn’t been enough to turn the dirt to soup. It had merely settled the dust.

  The further they rolled away from Ft. Laramie, the more hills and rocks they encountered. He grinned, full knowing what complaints he’d hear at dinner. Usually, it would be about the never ending plains. Now, it’d be the pull and brake of the hills. He chuckled to himself, trying to feel sympathy for them. This was still the easiest part of the journey.

  Later in the morning, Sam spotted Marie. She gathered purple and orange wildflowers from among the prickly pears. Her blue calico had picked up mud and dirt around the bottom third of the hem. He’d noticed her being the first to wash clothes every chance they had. Sam made a note to make camp a little early this evening. From between the wagons, he spotted Larry as he rode over to him.

  “It’s my turn to bring up the stragglers, sir.”

  Sam nodded, “Fine. We will have noon at the next decent creek.” He snuck a look at Marie, who had stopped searching for flowers and watched them, instead.

  He trotted over to her and hopped off his horse. “Good morning, Mrs. Warren.”

  “Good morning.”

  Sam felt shy as she stared openly and smiled at him. Having a loss of words puzzled him, but for the moment, he concentrated on keeping her attention. “That’s a nice handful of flowers, there.”

  “Thank you, I think so.” She buried her nose in the petals and smelled before adding, “I had second thoughts about picking them. Now I’ll attract bees in addition to all those mosquitoes.”

  Staring at him instead of the ground, she didn’t see the prickly pear cactus like he did. Sam grabbed her elbow, stopping Marie in place. “Whoa!”

  “What?” She looked at her feet, exclaiming, “Oh, mercy! That would have hurt!”

  “Especially if you’re not wearing boots.”

  “I’m not.” She let the toe of her shoe peek out from under the hem of her dress.

  He chuckled, trying to behave and unable to do so. “Maybe I should carry you.”

  Marie grinned while shaking her head. “You shouldn’t, even though I’d like it.”

  “You would?” Her bold admission first surprised and then worried him a little.

  “Of course.” She shuddered, facing another cactus. “Who wants to step on one of these? They’re horrible.”

  “I don’t know about that.” He smiled at her frown. “With a little butter and salt, they remind me of okra.”

  She grinned from ear to ear, “Really? No, you can’t mean these things. You’re joking with me. No one could eat around the needles.”

  He stopped next to a prickly pear bush and squatted. “See here? Pulling this out isn’t as bad as messing with these.” He indicated the smaller stickers growing from each needle’s base. “They’re like
tiny fishhooks, and you can barely see them individually.”

  Bending over to look, Marie examined the plant. “Hmm, and yet you eat these?”

  “Yes, and they’re good.” Her disbelief amused him. Sam liked her arguing with him and chalked up the enjoyment to infatuation. To teach, he added, “After the large stickers are gone, you can burn off the little ones. You could also cut them off, but the inside is juicy like okra, and those tiny spines get stuck in there. I’ve never taken the chance.”

  “Can’t say I blame you.” She narrowed her eyes, pinching the fleshy part of the plant while avoiding the stickers. “Maybe I could try cooking these after all. I do miss fried okra.”

  He straightened. “I’ll cook up some for you soon. If we stop as early as I’d like, I’ll call you and your family over tonight for dinner.”

  “If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like that.” She smiled at him, her cheeks a little flushed. “In case Charles and Hester can’t accept, you wouldn’t care if I were the only Warren there?”

  Sam followed. “Not at all.” Although at a loss for what else to say, he scanned the horizon. “We’re about to see a lot fewer trees than before, leaving us with burning the sagebrush for fuel.”

  “I’m glad. The idea of using buffalo chips was horrible.” She picked another flower for her bouquet. “Since I get to have dinner with you and the boys this evening, how about y’all come over for coffee tomorrow morning?”

  “Are y’all sure it’s fine for us to drink all your good coffee?” he teased.

  “All right, I slipped up and didn’t say you all.” She frowned and shook her head. “I was doing so well in not sounding like a spoiled Southern belle, too.”

  Sam didn’t know what to say. He’d thought it endearing. They walked for a few moments in quiet before he said, “I like the way you talk no matter what you say.”

  She watched the ground as she strolled. “You're kind, and I appreciate it.”

  He leaned over to her. “I’m not so much kind as I am honest. Everything I’ve heard you say is charming and attractive.” Sam grinned when her cheeks reddened. “Besides, from what I’ve seen, your behavior on this trip has been anything but spoiled.”

  “You’ve traveled this route enough to know, I suppose?”

  He nodded. “I’ve been here a couple of times before now. Once as a boy and again after I graduated back east. Nick stayed behind another year after finishing his schooling so we could leave together.”

  “Nick?”

  “My older brother.” Lost in remembering, he continued, “Then, I went east by steamer ship for legal experience, and came back west a couple of years later. Finally, I forced Nick to return to Independence with me and lead another team to our home. Doing so stopped him from living as a mountain man.”

  Her mouth fell open as she exclaimed, “Your brother was a mountain man? Was he a bona fide hermit living in a cave and everything?”

  He glanced at her to see if she was teasing. At the serious expression on her face, Sam laughed. “No caves, but he had an impressive beard.”

  “What made him choose to live as a hermit? He has you as a brother, and I assume a family.” Marie paused as if sizing him up before continuing. “And then, I’d like to know why you’ve gone back and forth over land so many times. You seem to have the means to travel by steamer ship. Why go by wagon when a ship is so much faster and less dangerous?”

  Grinning, he retorted, “This is going to take a while to answer. Should I write an essay instead?“

  “Fine, you’re right.” Marie smiled. “I'm much too intrusive, but there are no new novels to be had out here.”

  If he’d packed anything more than a couple of favorites, Sam would loan them to her. Wanting to help, he asked, “What about chatting with the other ladies? Would they want to share stories or books?”

  She gave a shrug. “We’ve already traded and are back where we started. As for chatting, I know everyone’s story, as they know most of mine. I’m sure they didn’t tell me everything because I didn’t tell them everything.”

  He tried not to chuckle at her sly smile. “Good. Otherwise, the ladies would be pestering me for kiss critiques, too.”

  “You’re mean!” She glanced at him at him before adding, “Do they not already pester you? Both Hester and Ellen talk about you on a near-daily basis.”

  “They do?” Noticing how Marie hadn’t picked any new flowers in a while, Sam looked ahead. The land grew less grass, rocks and dirt taking over the ground. They’d need to stop at the first water with any sort of grass growing nearby. He looked at her walking with him and wondered if she considered talking about him to anyone else. “I don’t mind Ellen knowing my business, but Hester would be happier with someone like Uncle Joe.”

  Marie laughed. “That’s a nice way of saying Hester’s past a certain age.” She bent and picked a small, stray flower. “Ellen is very pretty, too. A lot of the young men at the trading post were shy around her when we visited the store.”

  Sam took the chance to tease her and said, “I don’t know. I think Miss Warren was a handsome woman in her youth. She’d be a great wife for a young man who didn’t want children hanging around.”

  Marie stopped, hands on her hips. “You must be joking! Oh! You are!” She tapped his shoulder with her bouquet. “If she weren’t such a sour thing, you’d be right about Hester.” Shaking her head, she continued walking.

  Liking her little flash of temper, he almost wanted to antagonize her further. Sam didn’t want her truly angry at him, though, and decided against any more teasing. They walked along, the hour growing closer to evening with every step. He liked being around Marie, even while silent. All the talk of wives, women chatting about him, and the letter from Anne made Sam think. Maybe his fiancé had done the right thing in not waiting to be married to him if his heart was so fickle.

  He stole a glance at Marie. Because of her, Anne’s letter stung, but it didn’t have the heartbreaking impact it would have a few months ago. She walked arm’s reach from him. Wanting to shake off the rush of desire for her, he needed to focus on someone or anything else. Marie was unavailable, her husband healthy, and Sam knew he didn’t stand a chance. Who else had she said asked about him? “Ellen is a lovely girl. She and I talked a little after visiting the trading post. Do you know if she is interested in anyone?”

  Her gaze cut to him, eyes narrowed. “No.” She shook her head as if shaking off the expression on her face. “No, I mean, maybe. I’ve heard her mention you a few times, how interesting you are and all.” She pointed at the wagon party. “Looks like it’s time to camp for the night! We should catch up, shouldn’t we?”

  “We should.” He stifled a smile. She was jealous. Sam tried not to be pleased with her reaction. Neither one of them had any right to their feelings. Still, he liked how she reacted and wanted to see how possessive of him she was. “I find Ellen’s views on the natives to be very intriguing.”

  “Um hm.”

  “I wonder what it is about me she finds, interesting, you’d said. Maybe she and I could talk later.”

  “I’m sure you could. You might want to think about whether or not you wanted children.”

  The even tone of hers seemed a little forced so he asked, “Why is that?”

  She continued as if measuring her words. “You’d indicated Hester being an ideal wife for men who disliked children.”

  “Ah, I see.” Thinking of Anna’s letter prompted him to reply, “Hester would be a bad choice for me since I do want a child someday. Actually, I’d like one or more of each. Nick has a son; I’d like to have a daughter.” He glanced over to see her reaction. For some odd reason he needed to ponder later, her wanting children mattered to him. When he looked at her, Marie seemed intent on watching for prickly pear.

  After a while, she said, “I think Ellen is a very nice person. She’s not as old as Hester and is probably not barren, either. You’d be able to have all the children you’d want.”
r />   Understanding clicked in his mind like tumblers in a safe. No wonder she and Warren had only his sister with them. While Sam knew Warren had at least one son his wife’s age or older, Marie wasn’t old enough to have grown children. She had to be barren. The nearest fresh buffalo chip was miles away, and yet Sam felt as if he’d stepped in one. The reassuring replies racing through his mind all sounded trite right now. He kicked a rock, more than a little frustrated. They walked, growing ever closer to the circle of wagons. Finally, he said, “Wait, Marie.”

  She stopped, surprised, “Yes?”

  He took a deep breath before saying, “I don’t know how it would feel; being unable to raise a family with the one I married.” Sam looked away from her face, hoping he accurately said what he thought. “For me, if I were married to the right person, well, we could get through any hardship if we loved and cared for each other through the heartbreak.”

  “That’s very lovely, Mr. Granville.” She patted his arm. “Ellen or whomever you choose is already a lucky woman. She just doesn’t know it, yet.”

  Chapter 2

  Marie Warren scanned the area, wondering where Charles and Hazel had run off to so close to dinnertime. She’d planned on them eating soon and wanted to join in as various people gathered for music and dancing. Despite her husband’s disinterest in attending, he always allowed her to go and visit with other ladies. She dished out food for Charles and Hester, impatient and a little angry at their inconsideration. They knew she wanted to eat, clean up, and enjoy the evening music.

  She waited a little longer, her food growing cold in the night air. Marie said a quick grace before the meal under her breath and ate. Finished in a hurry, she stood and stretched before walking around their wagon to where the last of the day’s light faded. Not seeing either him or her sister in law, she drummed her fingers on the wooden frame. Even allowing for the night watch on duty, she wasn’t comfortable leaving the wagon alone.

  “Hey, Mrs. Warren!” Jimmy and a few of his friends ran up to her. “Are you going to tonight’s dance?”

 

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