Jamming her hands in her pockets, Delta exhaled loudly. “It hasn’t been a year yet and already things seem to be souring. There’s so much about this job she doesn’t understand, and there’s so much about the changes in her life that I don’t understand.”
Connie smiled warmly. “Being a cop’s lover is a hell of a lot harder than either of us could ever really know. Ask Gina. She worries so, and I’m not even out on the street. Give Megan some time to get used to the fact that you risk your life every night out there.”
“A year and a half isn’t enough?”
“Maybe for you. Don’t put her on your timeline.”
Delta thought about this before responding. “I just want her to understand why I love what I do. I don’t think she gets it.”
“Can you blame her? Not many people understand why someone would want to risk their lives for people they don’t even know. And, considering her own checkered past, she’s going to need some time to adjust. Don’t rush her, for God’s sake. She’s the best thing that’s happened to you in years.”
Delta studied her nails. “She is, isn’t she?”
“Yes, and she’s trying to understand why you spend twelve hours a day at this crazy job.”
Delta broke into a grin. “It is crazy, isn’t it?”
Connie nodded and absent-mindedly started to braid her long black hair over her shoulder. “Very crazy. And now that she isn’t in the middle of any craziness herself, she might not understand why you want to be. But, Del, she loves you, not your job.”
“Yes, she does.”
“Then, stop your moping around and go tell her how much you love and appreciate her. Damn it, Del, you have to bend here a little, too. You’re so used to getting your own way, that when someone else has an opinion and ways of doing things of their own, you make them fish or cut bait. Lighten up on her a little, will you?”
Delta looked down into Connie’s dark brown eyes. Connie Rivera was the only person in the world who could be so candid with Delta without worrying about pissing her off.
“Con, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll get my bill.”
Delta laid her hand on Connie’s shoulder. “You’re worth every penny, my friend.”
Connie’s eyes warmed. “All I know is that it’s obvious that you two adore each other. Don’t let your job stand in the way of your happiness, Del. You can have both, but you have to be willing to compromise as well.”
“Are you saying I don’t?”
Connie shook her head and smiled. “Not unless you absolutely have to. You’re the most stubborn woman I know, Delta Stevens. If you want this one to work, you’re going to have to bend.”
Delta heaved a loud sigh. She wasn’t used to bending. She was used to calling the shots in both her personal and professional life. Patience came seldom and compromise was something other people did. “I’ll try. But we both know that flexibility isn’t one of my character strengths.”
“Don’t I know it.” Connie opened the door, walked back to her desk and pulled the game disk from Eddie before turning the computer off. “If you’re serious about making your relationship work, you’ll dig deeper to find a little compromise. Megan deserves that much, Del, and you know it.”
Picking her keys up off the desk, Delta knocked a small black case onto the floor. She had seen plenty of these cases around Connie’s house, but Connie seldom left them on her desk for any of her “superiors” to see.
“Not another game,” Delta mocked, tossing it back on the table. “You must spend a fortune on these things.”
Connie picked the case up and looked carefully at it. “Not this one. It came in the mail for me this morning.”
Delta took it from Connie’s hands and inspected it. “I can’t believe you still play these silly things.” In college, Connie had been a whiz at beating people in computer simulation adventure games. Connie had graduated from M.I.T., or “The Institute,” as alumni liked to call it, and was exceptional at anything computer-related. When computers started to infiltrate police departments around the country, law enforcement officials were suddenly faced with their own ignorance about computer operations. Many P.D.’s were desperate to hire qualified people who could manage, control, and understand the intricacies of computer operations. Connie was one of those people. She knew how to enter computers which were off-limits to everyone except the FBI and the Justice Department. She could make a computer do everything except wash windows, thus making her a most valuable resource on River Valley’s department.
But when work was slow for her, she would pop in a computer simulation game and play when no one was looking. Not that anyone ever really checked on her. Most of the captains didn’t really know what she did. They simply went to her whenever they needed information from some file. Unfortunately for Connie, there were few games that challenged her extreme intelligence, but she played everything in the hope of finding something to keep her entertained for a few hours, while she waited for an assignment.
Laying the case down, Delta shook her head. “That’s odd. No label or manufacturer or anything.”
Connie glanced casually at it and shrugged. “One of the guys probably sent it to me. Remember when Bear sent me that game that I didn’t know was pornographic until I walked into the dungeon?”
Delta nodded and smiled, remembering how embarrassed Connie was when the guys gathered around her computer. “Well, good luck in your simulated fight for truth and justice.” Grabbing her windbreaker off the peg, Delta jammed her arms in. “You going home?”
Connie nodded. “Soon. I just need to get past this one creature.”
Delta shook her head. “I hear those games are addicting.”
“And I hear your mother calling you to come home. Let me know how it goes with you and Meg, okay? You know, she’s my favorite of all the women you’ve seen since I’ve known you.”
Delta smiled down at Connie. Although nearing forty, Connie could easily pass for being in her mid-twenties. Her long black hair hanging down around her lower back accentuated her Latina and Native American heritage. Her skin, caramel in color and void of any imperfections, was warm and inviting. But her flashing smile was the feature which was her most alluring and hard to resist. Connie could sell the Brooklyn bridge with that smile. She could also talk Delta into just about anything with her playful grin and dancing eyes.
Zipping her jacket up, Delta headed for the door. “I thought you always had a thing for my girlfriend.”
“I do. She’s a good woman, and as Goddess knows, she’s good for you. You need someone who won’t let you walk all over her.”
“I thought you were on my side?”
“I am. That doesn’t mean I have to agree with you when you’re acting like a boob. Go talk to her. Tell her how you’re feeling. And for Pete’s sake, stop feeling like you have to be in control of every situation.”
“I don’t do--”
“Oh, yes, my friend, you do. And it would be ill-advised for you to argue this case unless you want me to point out all the times your controlling behavior munched your relationships. Now get out of here, so I can get Link back to the Crystal Palace.”
Delta chuckled. “Munched?”
“Like a dragon eating my little dwarf here. Do yourself a favor, Storm, and bend. I promise, it will only hurt a little.”
Picking her truck key from the rest of the keys on her ring, Delta nodded. “10-4. Thanks.”
“Now go, before Link gets swallowed up by some menace and I have to start over.”
Delta just shook her head. “You and those damned games. I’ll never understand it.”
Connie shrugged as her hands moved the joystick to help Link avoid a slimy creature rising from the bog. “Mental gymnastics, Del, that’s all. Now go home. Directly home.” Turning from the computer, Connie frowned. “And whatever happened on your beat tonight, you better just leave here. I know you better than you think, Storm, and I know you handled s
omething tonight that’s bugging the shit out of you.”
Delta opened her mouth to respond, but Connie held up her hand. “Not now. You deal with your relationship now and leave the job here.” Delta nodded and waved goodbye to Connie before she pushed open the glass doors. Excited about spending a few quiet and loving moments with her lover, Delta pushed back the images of a jeweled dagger, a dead pharmacist, and a sick murderer skulking around her beat.
When Delta entered the bedroom, her heart fluttered. She forgot those “honeymoon” goose bumps when she saw Megan. The connection they shared ran deeper than simple physical lust; Delta loved Megan Osbourne on a level she had never experienced before. And now, seeing Megan sitting primly at her vanity, brushing out her lengthy blonde hair, Delta felt the familiar and welcome pangs of a love born from a time in her life more painful than any Delta had ever encountered.
A little more than a year ago, Delta had been in the middle of an emotionally exhausting murder investigation in which Megan played a vital role. With Megan’s help, Delta and Connie had been able to unlock the mystery of the brutal murder of her partner and friend, Miles Brookman. Delta and Megan were drawn to each other almost immediately, and once they made peace with their opposing professions, they fell into bed and into love. Shortly after the trial, Megan quit prostituting and opted, for the first time in her adult life, for a life on the right side of the law.
Leaning into the room from the doorway, Delta smiled. “Busy?” Looking over
her shoulder, Megan smiled back and laid her brush down. Her smile displayed even rows of perfect white teeth surrounded by lips so pink they needed no make-up. But it wasn’t her sensuous mouth that captivated Delta’s attention all those months ago—it was her incredible, electric blue eyes that flashed brilliantly whenever they looked into Delta’s. They expressed more than her beautiful mouth ever could. And when they gazed into Delta’s eyes, they lit up and glimmered like nothing Delta had ever seen.
They were shining at Delta right now. “Never too busy for you, my love.”
Delta slowly closed the door and leaned against it. Even in the dim light of the room, Megan was the most beautiful woman she had ever met. But it wasn’t just her physical being that exuded beauty and grace; there was a warmth and compassion about her that emanated beauty of the richest depth. Megan was an incredible woman, not just in physical appearance, but inwardly as well.
“Can we talk?” Delta asked.
Megan cocked her head and her hair fell over one shoulder. “I was hoping we could.”
“I don’t want to fight,” Delta said, not moving from her place at the door.
Rising, Megan floated over to her as if walking on wind. “Neither do I.”
“I’ve been an ass about this whole thing.”
Taking Delta’s hands in hers, Megan’s smile widened. “Yes, you have. But then, we all have our moments, don’t we?”
Delta nodded.
“But you’re in luck. Today, there happens to be a sale on forgiveness for people who are having their moments.”
Delta sighed. “I’m glad. My moment seems to have extended itself some.” Delta looked up into Megan’s eyes and saw the same love and concern she’d seen nearly a year ago. Megan was one of the few women Delta knew who actually towered over her. Standing over six feet in her stocking feet, Megan was all legs. And when she wore pumps, which was almost always, she stood at an imposing six-three.
When they found themselves drawn to each other, it opened a whole different side of the world for each of them, worlds in which both were just now beginning to struggle. And while their careers had been on opposing ends of the justice spectrum, neither was willing to give up the love they had found.
“Meg, are we okay?”
Stepping up to Delta, Megan placed her arms across her shoulders and pulled her closer. Delta could smell her Opium perfume—the same scent Megan had worn when they first met.
“God, Del, I hope so. You can be such an impossibly stubborn fool sometimes.”
Delta bowed her head. “I know. But that’s what you love about me.”
Megan stifled a grin. “Sometimes, it is. But I worry when you personally try to stop every bit of crime in the city.”
Pulling back enough to see Megan’s face, Delta inhaled slowly. “And you think that’s what I do?”
Megan shrugged. “That’s how it feels sometimes. You get so involved in your work that you forget we exist. You go away from me, from us, and I don’t know how to reach you.”
Delta knew exactly what Megan meant. Sometimes, the job preyed so heavily on her mind, Delta could think of nothing else. “I want us to last, Meg. I want us to be the couple that younger lesbians look at and ask us how we do it. I want forever. You know that, don’t you?”
Megan’s eyes softened with the tone of her voice. “Yes, I do. But honey, you also want to save the world from itself. I guess . . . I just thought that we would be enough for you, and now, I’m not sure.” Megan let go of Delta and walked over to open the window. Sounds from the city flooded in and she had to close it again. “And, frankly, that scares the shit out of me.”
The pain in Megan’s voice ran hotly through Delta’s heart. She’d had this conversation with every lover she’d been with since she became a cop, and the problems were always the same: she spent too much time doing what she loved and not enough time with the ones she loved. She had hoped she would be different with Megan. She had hoped, by some miracle, that she had changed enough to put her relationship first. Clearly, she had not.
“I don’t know how to change, Meg. I honestly don’t know what to do to make things any better. I thought I was giving our relationship everything I had, and boom, you tell me I’m not. I honestly don’t know how to give a relationship my best energy.”
Megan smiled sadly. “I know. And if I weren’t so crazy about you, I would have walked out the door a long time ago. I need you to be here, to be present with me in our relationship. You can’t put a relationship on autopilot when your job demands it and come back expecting us not to have crashed.”
“Have we crashed?” Delta asked, the words jumping from her lips.
Megan shook her head. “Not yet. But if you keep devoting more time and energy to your career, we might. I can’t hold our relationship together by myself.”
Fear grabbed Delta by the throat. “I don’t want to lose you, Meg.”
“Then don’t. That choice is up to you. I know how much your job means to you, but damn it, Delta, sometimes you just have to stop being a cop. Sometimes, you need to just be Delta Stevens, Megan’s lover. I’d even take just plain old Delta Stevens.”
Curling into Megan’s arms, Delta felt very small. “Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of. Maybe I don’t know who that is any more.”
Megan kissed the top of Delta’s head and hugged her tightly. “Well, my love, I think it’s time you found out. Put the badge away when you come home and give your mind a rest. Focus on us, on our love, and see where that takes you. Let our relationship be number one for awhile.” Burying her face in Megan’s hair at the side of her neck, Delta sighed. It seemed such an easy request. Why had it been so hard in the past to put love first and the job second? And why hadn’t she learned from her past mistakes?
“I’ll try harder to do that, Meg. Trust that I will.”
Megan pulled away and stroked Delta’s cheek with the back of her hand. “Oh, Delta Stevens, trust you to what? Trust that you’ll jump in front of a speeding bullet to save some street person? Trust that you’ll push the speed limit when responding to a domestic quarrel? Trust that you’ll come home and forget about the abused child you held, or the dying man’s last words? That’s a tall order from someone who cares about your job as much as you do.”
Delta nodded her agreement. Megan knew her well enough to know that Delta might stop thinking about her job, but she never truly would stop living it. She cared about what happened to the people on her beat. Sometimes, that caring too
k over.
But her life was different now. Now, Megan loved her in spite of her flaws and weaknesses, and Delta wasn’t willing to give that up.
“I don’t deny that it is a tall order, but damn it, Megan, why can’t I have both? Why can’t I be a good cop and have the love of my life, too?”
“You can, it’s just going to take some effort. All I’m saying, sweetheart, is that relationships take a lot of work, and both people must be willing to work hard at keeping it together.”
“I’m used to hard work,” Delta replied. The fear receded for the time being, leaving her feeling a little stronger.
“Well, this might prove to be even harder than police work, Delta Stevens, because relationships don’t come with manuals, proper procedures, or guarantees. It’s going to take more patience and understanding than either of us has ever given before. I mean, let’s face it, we’re coming at this from two completely different angles. If we stop communicating, we’re finished. Through. Kaput.”
“All right, I get the picture. Just tell me that we’re still on firm ground.”
Megan kissed Delta. “Still firm, my love. It isn’t time for a major panic, but we do need to get back on the same path.”
“We can do that,” Delta said, kissing Megan lightly on the cheek. Megan’s rational approach to life was another facet that so attracted Delta to her in the first place. “I love you so much, Megan Osbourne.”
“And I,” Megan replied, kissing Delta tenderly, “am crazy about you.”
“Then, we’re okay?”
Megan grinned. “Count on it.”
A low, threatening growl filled the still night air like an ominous warning. Chained to the two-by-four securely bolted next to a rack of gloves was 120 pounds of broad-chested, mean-looking Doberman, baring teeth in a vicious snarl. Ever so slowly, the massive beast rose to its feet, while emitting menacing warnings. Its beady eyes locked onto the intruder’s as it bared even more fangs and lowered its pointed head.
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