by E M Gale
“You don’t know Alcibiades, then?” asked Brannigan.
I shook my head.
“Or Socrates?”
I shook my head again.
“Well, I looked them up in the history books, they were lovers–”
‘Heh, definitely ancient Greeks then.’
“–and Alcibiades was the cause of Socrates’ downfall. But I think that Alcibiades blames Socrates for his banishment. And anyway, I have it on good authority that Alcibiades will help me, if it means that he can seize more power for himself.”
‘What?’
“Are you talking about ancient Greeks?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes.”
“And you think that they will still be out to betray each other however many thousands of years later?”
“Yes. They still have the same motives,” he said.
I shook my head in amazement.
‘I’m sure that they would have sorted it out in the intervening two millennia. There is no way that this idiot is a successful bounty hunter.’
“And you think it’s a good idea to tell me this?” I asked, still somewhat astounded.
Sweat prickled his brow again, but he tried to remain calm. “Well, since I’m stuck on this ship now, you’ll find out anyway. So I have no choice,” he said miserably. “But if you don’t know these vampires, you won’t have any reason to stop me going after them.” He shrugged.
‘Huh, well. I don’t know. What the hell would my future self do with a situation like this?’
“So… let me get this straight,” I said, eyeing Brannigan. “You want to kill a vampire called Socrates, you’re tracking his lover, and you’re telling me this so that I don’t kill you thinking that you are after me.”
He nodded. His heart was pounding with fear. He was pretty brave to sit there trying to look unafraid when I was sure that what he wanted to do was run from the room.
“And what the hell makes you think that I won’t kill you just because you’re tracking a vampire?”
He shifted nervously and glanced at the door. Maybe he would run from the room after all.
I frowned. “And why is there a contract on Socrates? Did he commit a crime, or is this some sort of assassination attempt?”
“Uh, well… obviously, I can’t tell you.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. “Oh?” I injected as much menace as I could into my voice.
“Because I don’t know,” he said hurriedly. “I just know there’s a contract on this guy.”
I glared at him.
“I’m telling you everything I know!” Brannigan protested, his voice rising to an unmanly tone.
“And why did you pick this contract? Why a vampire?” I asked acidly.
“Uh…” Brannigan gulped again. “I’m a Tyrian,” he whispered.
‘What the hell are the Tyrians? I am obviously supposed to know what he’s talking about.’
‘Do the people on this ship know what he is? Surely the major wouldn’t be stupid enough to let a vampire hunter on board? No, he can’t have known. I presume that the captain would disapprove of a vampire hunt on his ship as much as he would disapprove of an ancient blood feud.’
“And you think that this Socrates guy will be easier to go after than me?” I asked.
He nodded. He was still disturbed, but I think that the fact that I hadn’t moved to kill him yet had put him partially at ease. And that is a weird thing to put anyone at ease.
“He’s a philosopher,” he said. “And must be quite a minor vampire if you don’t know him.”
‘Hmm… Socrates fought in wars though, didn’t he? I thought all the Greek philosophers were soldiers as well. In fact, I think all the men and sometimes the women of ancient Greece had to fight. Then again, I slept through most of the Greek philosophy part of Philosophy 101. It was the first year of my degree and I was just discovering what it was like to drink money you didn’t have to earn.’
At that point I espied Cleckley. He must have been looking for me. He wandered over to me and frowned at my half-drunk second pint of beer in front of me.
‘Eh? Oh, I presume he wants to take the second sample of my blood and he thinks that alcohol will affect things. In fact, it probably will. Oops.’
“Clarke, you haven’t had a drink, have you?” he asked.
Brannigan jumped and looked from me to Cleckley in horror.
‘Heh, heh.’
“Hello, Cleckley,” I said. “Have a seat.”
‘I need someone to guard Brannigan so I can check up on him. If Brannigan’s scared of me he won’t hurt Cleckley, and anyway he won’t know that Cleckley is one of my friends.’
“Is that yours?” Cleckley asked, pointing at my beer.
I nodded.
He sighed.
“Tomorrow then?” I suggested sheepishly.
He sat down and nodded. “Yes, come by after your shift,” he said. Then he turned to Brannigan and held his hand out. “Hello, I’m the ship’s doctor, Harvey M. Cleckley, at your service,” he said to Brannigan.
“Um… I’m Jake Brannigan,” said Brannigan. I noticed that my friends wandered in at this point as well.
‘Great, even better.’
“Back in just a little while,” I said before jumping out of my seat and heading towards them.
They’d stopped. Jane looked taken aback by something, but in a few strides I stood in front of them.
“Hey, guys, look, we should talk, but not here. Tomorrow, in my quarters, after the end of your shifts.” I said that rather quickly.
“Uh… what about?” asked Mark.
“Well, y’know”–I shrugged–“we need to have a summit meeting about stuff. Don’t worry. Nothing major. Why don’t you all have a nice drink with the good Doctor Cleckley and his nefarious guest.”
“Who is he?” asked Anna.
“Where are you going?” asked Jane in a strange tone of voice.
“Worry not, I’ll be back,” I said in a singsong voice and turned on my heel, leaving them there stunned.
‘Well, let’s hope that works. Ideally, they’ll join Cleckley, be introduced to the hunter and it will take time to get round all of them, hopefully time before he can excuse himself and chase after me. That is if he is that stupid. He might well be happy to sit in a well-lit and packed bar rather than chase a vampire around the ship.’
I strode as fast as I dared–that is to say, as fast as I thought a human could stride–towards the area of the ship where Price had been quartered. I assumed that this was where they would put anyone else new who had come aboard. Me and my friends had been quartered in the spare rooms in amongst the other staff.
‘Ah… I think I found it.’
There was a rather strong smell of garlic coming from one of the rooms.
‘Something of a giveaway. Would a vampire hunter–no, sorry, ‘bounty hunter: vampire specialist’–carry garlic? Is whoever let him on the ship an idiot?’
There was no one around so I misted, drifted under the door and reformed inside. Then I wrinkled my nose up. He had a lot of garlic. The smell was quite strong, but I could still smell enough to make out what was in the room.
‘Leather, metal, wood; I’m thinking weapons here.’
There was a medium-sized leather case in the middle of the floor space.
‘I have a feeling that whoever let him aboard thought that that was contraband, but I don’t.’
I tried the lid; it was locked.
‘Fair enough. It ought to be locked. Brannigan can’t be that dumb if he figured out that the best thing to do was to tell me what he was up to rather than run. Therefore, he wouldn’t leave weapons unlocked in his quarters.’
I walked around the box, thoughtful.
‘OK, well, it’s not airtight; I can go into the box as a mist. But I can’t reform in there to look around, so I can only smell what is in the box, which I can smell anyway, since it’s not airtight. Hmm, can I partially reform? Like reform my head so
I can look inside the box? OK, Clarke, that would make you a decapitated head, I don’t think that’s a good idea. And anyway, it’s a vampire hunter’s chest. What are the chances that it has some sort of anti-vampire booby trap to catch misted vampires? High, I think. OK, let’s look around.’
The room was laid out exactly the same as all the rooms on the ship. In fact, Price’s room next door had had the same layout.
‘Price. I wonder if I’ll see him again soon? I wonder where he is? Ah, that’s distracting, you’re not supposed to be thinking about Price. Focus, and keep an eye out for vampire traps.’
There wasn’t much else in the room. I looked under the bed, checked the drawers and the wardrobe. Brannigan had unpacked his clothes and filled the bedside drawers with a few copies of the Bible–‘why would anyone need more than one? Does he plan to throw them at his target? Or does he work as a Gideon on the side?’–some bulbs of garlic, a few wooden crosses and crucifixes.
‘Great. Just great.’
He had a huge brown waxed cotton coat hanging up on the hook on the back of the door. It looked like a Barbour to me. In fact, closer inspection revealed that that was exactly what it was.
‘Why would he need that in space? Or does he like to hunt vampires by riding horses after them through the rain and snow?’
I went through the pockets.
‘Ah, a wallet. OK, he has a valid ID and at least now I know I’m in the right room and that there aren’t two hunters on board this bloody vessel.’
I put the wallet back.
‘What else is there in here? Breath mints, those’ll be to offset the garlic, I’d guess…’
‘Hmm, a small pocket-sized book of psalms with pages torn out. What are they for? Does he make paper shuriken from them perhaps?’
‘Ah, a book. No way.’
The book was entitled: ‘A Fielde Guide to Hunting Wampyres.’
‘Heh, nice. The Slavic spelling of ’vampire’ as well.’
I flicked it open.
The frontispiece was labelled: ‘Take utmoste care to nott let this booke fall into the hands of a Wampyre or a Wampyre’s ally.’
‘OK, I’m nicking this then.’
I looked around again.
‘That’s it for the room, nothing else interesting. Well, except the case that is probably full of crossbows, stakes and awful things like that.’
I misted out of the door and reformed on the other side. All in all that had probably taken about five minutes, ten at the outside.
I strode off towards the major’s quarters–I expected him to be off shift–and knocked politely on the door.
“Come in,” he called. I walked in.
“Hemmingway,” I said, “we have a vampire hunter on board.”
He stared at me. “I… presume… since you used the present tense, he is still aboard.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. “Currently.”
“Sit down, Clarke, have some wine. That is unless you are here to ask me to dispose of the body?”
I shook my head, got myself a glass, sat down and poured out some white wine. The major smiled at me.
“There’s always tomorrow,” I remarked. “Who let him on board?”
The major sighed. “I did. I thought that he was a normal smuggler.”
‘No real smuggler would come aboard a badly disguised military vessel.’
I sighed. “Apparently, he’s not.”
“Are you sure?”
I sipped my wine and frowned at the major over the top of the glass. “Yes. He told me he is a hunter.”
Hemmingway raised his eyebrows at that. “Really? Why?”
“Ah, so that I wouldn’t kill him thinking he was after me. Apparently, he’s not.”
Hemmingway nodded. “As he seems rather green and honest, I think he’s telling the truth. Do you know who he is after?”
“No. Well, yes. Not me.” I shook my head. “Though I don’t like vampire hunters or bloody ‘bounty hunter: vampire specialists’.”
‘Well, I don’t think I will like them. What would my future self do in this situation?’
“He took quite a risk telling me what he was up to,” I remarked.
The major was frowning.
“Hey, Hemmingway, he said he was a Tyrian.”
“Ah, well, that explains why he is a vampire specialist then.”
“It does?”
“You’ve really not come across them before, then?” he asked. He seemed slightly surprised. “Or are you still ‘acting’?”
“I know their planet’s near Tortuga. I’ve never been there.”
“Not surprising. Unfortunately I have. It’s largely a jungle world, with lots of big and strange beasts that they hunt for food and prestige.”
I nodded at that. “OK, sounds a bit, well, uncivilised to me.”
He nodded his agreement. “Yes, it’s quite a backward place. A lot of them spend so long gaining those skills that they make good bounty hunters. There’s not much in the way of police or military presence this close to the edge of the galaxy.”
I raised an eyebrow at him.
‘That shows that he hasn’t been told I’ve made their stupid disguise.’
“I’ve heard that vampire-killers are at the top of their society,” he continued.
“What? They hunt vampires?”
He nodded.
“For fun? For sport?”
He nodded. “More for prestige, I believe. At least, that’s the rumour I heard. Of course they would deny this–such things are not just against the law on Earth and her colonies, but against intragalactic law as well. But then Tyr gained its independence in a bloody war about eighty years ago, and they haven’t signed up to most pan-galactic treaties.”
I leaned back and blew air out of my mouth in an annoyed fashion. “Just great. There’s a whole planet full of these weirdos?”
Hemmingway laughed. “Don’t worry, it’s not as if vampires can’t handle themselves. I’m sure that the hunter’s target will be fine.”
I glared at him. “But hunted? Like an animal? What the hell do they do, mount their heads on a wall?”
“Well, I heard that they like to keep their teeth as a souvenir.”
“Oh, God! That’s awful,” I said with feeling.
The major nodded. “Yes, and obviously it’s highly illegal.”
I crossed my arms and shook my head angrily. “That’s just disgusting! And why on Earth does he think that telling me what he does is going to make me less likely to kill him?” I mused, before taking another sip of my wine.
“Do you really intend to do that?” asked the major. He sounded shocked.
‘Well… I don’t like the idea of a hunter, but I guess they say, ‘Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.’ Him being on the ship gives me ample opportunity to learn about these horrid people. And my future self would have known about this and would have told me to do something, if… hold on, is this that event she mentioned?’
“What do you think I should do, Hemmingway?” I asked him.
The major sighed and nodded at me. “Since he told you what he was, I would say that he wants a peaceful journey. You should just leave him be.”
I nodded at that. It sounded like good advice.
‘I’ll keep an eye on him and leave him alone. My future self must know about these guys and she must know what they are up to. Although she said that there are factions in the vampires and that the major is fighting on the right side, but what can vampires possibly find to disagree with each other about regarding a planet full of vampire-killing maniacs?’
“OK, you’re right, Hemmingway.”
He looked relieved. I relaxed back in the chair and he did too. I sighed.
“I don’t like it though,” I said. “And Tyr was on the list. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but if there’s a whole planet of these nutcases…”
“What list?”
“Ah, the list of places–” I jumped to my fee
t again. “He’s an assassin! What if the spy’s not spying on you, but me? And they’ve brought Brannigan in! A vampire hunter, well, he’s not gonna be after the captain, is he?”
“What spy?”
I looked at the major.
“Uh, who mentioned anything about a spy?”
He smiled. “You did, and not by accident, I am sure.”
I stared him out and then sighed and slumped down. My future self obviously trusted this guy. He seemed pretty straight-up and honest and I didn’t think chatting this over with Cleckley would be much help.
“The spy, the one sending secret transmissions off the ship.”
The major waited, only taking his eyes off me to sip his wine. I chewed on my knuckle, deep in thought. He broke the silence. “You once told me to expect secrets to be lurking in dark corners.”
I stared at him.
“And that was helpful advice?”
‘That helpful you wasted your breath on repeating it to me?’
He nodded.
‘My future self is hardly the most coherent advisor.’
“Well, OK, there’s a spy, well, two spies–”
“Two spies?” Now the major looked shocked.
“Yeah, one’s sending transmissions to Earth, but that’s no big deal, not even that well hidden–”
“Huh!”
“The other’s sending signals to somewhere else. Either Tortuga, or Tyr, or some Kreegle places I can’t pronounce, or Malarok.”
“And you don’t know the exact destination?”
I shook my head. “I assumed it would be Tortuga, anyone could be there picking up the transmissions. But what if it was Tyr? There must be a Tyrian spy on board!”
The major was nodding. “And they’re after you, you think? Do you think that’s who was directing those assassination attempts?”
I grimaced because I knew exactly whose fault those assassination attempts were.
The major looked thoughtful. “So Jake Brannigan must be very good if they’ve brought him in.”
“We need to kill him now. Dump his body in space, as you originally suggested, before he gets going.”
The major frowned. “Maybe… but he still seems far too green.”
I eyed him. “You didn’t make him as a hunter. What if you’re misreading his character?”
“I’ve always been a good judge of character. I didn’t know he was a hunter as I purposefully did not pry into who he was, where he was going to or from or why.” He eyed me. “Smugglers don’t tend to like that.”