by L. J. Sealey
“About what happened earlier, I’m sorry for my behaviour. That should never have happened.” His eyes found hers, full of sorrow, guilt, confusion? It was hard to read him. Just as Lacy was about to speak he continued. “Unfortunately I let my emotions get the better of me and I shouldn’t have. I’m finding things a little hard to deal with and had a moment of weakness. It won’t be happening again.” It was said so matter-of-factly it actually made her feel a little annoyed. His face was serious, eyes narrowed as he looked at her, obviously waiting for some kind of reaction from her.
A moment of weakness? Well. . . he was going to get a reaction all right. She was sick and tired of the emotional rollercoaster they were both on. She didn’t appreciate the way he’d made her feel in the car on the way home and even though he’d said the reason they couldn’t be together was to protect her, she couldn’t help thinking it was bullshit. If he didn’t want her, then he just had to man up and tell her.
“You’re right,” she thundered as she got up from the chair and began to pace up and down in front of him. His eyes widened at her sudden outburst. “It won’t be happening again. I’ve had enough of you playing with my emotions. It’s not fair. You tell me you want to be with me but nothing can happen between us. I try to deal with that. Then I wake up with you kissing me and you tell me it was a mistake because you were dreaming, which also tells me how much you want this if you’re dreaming about it. Again, I try and deal with it. Then you kiss me the way you did this afternoon.” She stopped to face him, her voice lowered to nearly a whisper. “Just. . . stop using me as an excuse.”
She lowered her head and let out an exasperated sigh. It was hard to feel the way she did about him knowing that she wouldn’t be able to have any more. Why did she let herself fall for this man? She couldn’t bring herself to look at him and kept her gaze to the floor.
It was a few minutes before either of them spoke and then. . .
“It was me.” was all Michael said.
She looked at him, confused. “What?”
He scrubbed his hand through his hair and met her gaze. “The boy who helped you in high school. The one who got beaten up and put in hospital? That was me.”
Woah! So that’s what a ton of bricks landing on your chest felt like. She froze, breath caught, mouth wide open as she repeated his words over in her mind to make sure she’d heard them right.
“What?” she whispered so quietly that even she barely heard it. She walked over to the sofa in a daze and sat down next to him. They looked at each other without speaking. She couldn’t seem to find her voice or her brain was refusing to function or something. Finally she managed to force out some words. “You? How. . . ”−she swallowed hard−“how can that be?”
Michael shifted his body so that their knees where nearly touching. “I was brought up by foster parents in Lawrence County.”
“I can’t believe it,” she gasped. “Jack? That was really you?”
She watched as he reached into his inside pocket and pulled out a black leather wallet. He opened it and slid a crumpled picture out from one of the pockets inside, looked at it for a second and then passed it to her.
Oh, God. A handsome face stared back at her: dark brown/black hair styled neatly to one side, blue eyes framed with thick dark brows, a strong jaw. . . It was Jack Pearson, just as she remembered him only older. “This was really you?”
He nodded and closed his eyes.
She felt deep sorrow as she looked back at the photo. It was hard to imagine his situation. Having not only your whole life but your body being suddenly ripped away from you was inconceivable. After she’d processed the news, she thought back to the day he’d saved her. “I thought about you a lot after what you did for me. I hated the fact that I couldn’t say thank you. Your parents−”
“They weren’t my parents, not really. I’m sorry for what they said to you. I never knew you came. They never told me.”
Lacy knew she shouldn’t do what she was about to, but was past caring and did it anyway. She leaned across and softly kissed his cheek. “Thank you for what you did,” she said, quickly resuming her position.
Michael’s eyes widened and for a second he looked tense. After a moment his shoulders relaxed and he smiled at her. “You’re welcome.”
“How did I not know you? I don’t remember seeing you except for that one time.” Clear View High wasn’t very big so she wondered why she’d never noticed such a good looking guy.
Michael sat back, visibly more relaxed than he had been since he’d picked her up. “I didn’t really mix with the kids in school; never really had the time. Each day I’d leave after last class and go straight to work so I never had any kind of social life. I’d seen you around. Never spoke to you though because what was the point?” He smiled. “Didn’t think I’d be your kind of person.”
She couldn’t help but smile back at him. It was a rare thing lately to see Michael without a permanent crease between his brows. Not that she could blame him. The dangers that she now knew existed, dangers that were after both of them, were enough to undo the strongest of people. Add the fact that he’d been turned against his will into some sort of unknown, inhuman being and it was a surprise that he could smile at all. But he was and it invigorated her.
“And why not?” she asked playfully with an eyebrow raised.
He smirked. “Because I saw the kind of guys you hung out with; the hard working geeky types, the ones who would hang around the library on a Saturday afternoon to get their recreational kicks. I certainly didn’t fit that description.”
“Hey, are you saying you thought I was a geek?”
He laughed. “Noooo, I’m. . . just saying you were a hard worker that’s all.”
“Oh! That’s all huh? Well, maybe you shouldn’t have assumed that I wouldn’t be interested in you.” Lacy grew serious at the same time Michael’s face straightened. His gorgeous blue eyes stared into hers and she was instantly mesmerised by them. Her chest tightened. Why did things have to be so difficult?
She sensed the door had just slammed shut on his emotions again and Lacy knew that their playful moment was over. She looked back at his photo before giving it back to him.
After putting it back in his wallet he stood up and walked over to the window. She watched his shoulders rise then fall before he spoke. “Lacy. We can’t be near each other anymore.”
There they were: the words that she knew he would say. Her heart sank in her chest and she honestly didn’t know what to do. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe Michael having to battle with his feelings was no good for any of them. She knew it was a huge distraction for him and the last thing she wanted was for him to be vulnerable when it came to fighting Varesh. Because that was what he intended. She knew that much.
But how could she just let him go? Knowing what they both felt for each other, how could she let him walk away from her?
“I don’t want to stay away from you,” she said before she could stop herself. He turned around to look at her, a deep frown on his face.
“We have no choice.”
Lacy got up and walked over to him. “Why?”
“How can you want to be with me knowing what I am? I’m not even alive, Lacy. And who knows how long I’ll even stay this way. What if I just stop existing?” He took her hands in his. “I don’t want you to get hurt and that’s the reason I came over tonight. I had to see you, to clear things up before I leave. There’s something I have to do and I don’t know if I’ll even survive it.”
“What. . . What is it?”
He took a deep breath and she braced herself for what she was about to hear. “I’m going back into the pit. . . into Hell.”
Lacy broke contact from him and backed up a couple of steps. “What the. . . Why? Are you crazy?”
“No. It’s the only plan I have. I know that Varesh has a very powerful enemy, Lucifer, and I want to make him an offer.”
Holy Sh. . . No! Panic took over. Lacy felt light headed a
ll of a sudden and began to lose the feeling in her legs. She practically floated over to the sofa and sat down before she fell down. It took her a moment to catch her breath. This was a different kind of panic to what she was normally used to. This was caused by sheer terror. Michael was throwing himself into the fire−literally. She didn’t even know how that was possible; didn’t feel the desire to ask.
“Evo knows a ritual that will get us there.” Michael answered as if he’d heard her thoughts.
Her head snapped up to look at him. “Us?”
“Me and Evo. He’s insisting he comes with me. I couldn’t talk him out of it.”
Her legs tingled as the feeling began to return. “Then he’s as crazy as you are,” she said before dropping her head into her hands.
“Lacy, listen to me. Lacy.” she felt the sofa dip under the weight of his body as he sat down next to her. Then he was turning her to him and pulling her hands from her face. “Look at me.” He ducked his head to look into her eyes. “Varesh is dangerous and for whatever reason he wants me dea. . . gone. He clearly doesn’t care who he uses to get to me and I’m not about to sit around and do nothing. Not when yours and Evo’s lives are at risk because of it.”
She bit down to stop the tears that were threatening to form. “Then we’ll run.”
Michael looked momentarily stunned. “And where would we go? You can’t just run from a power hungry demon. He’ll always find you.” He reached up and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “You would really run away with me?” He asked, his voice broken.
She didn’t hesitate to answer. “Yes. I would.”
He stroked her cheek and she nestled into his hand, closing her eyes and savouring the soft touch of his fingers. She let out a long drawn breath and wished that she’d known him before, when they were younger, when he was Jack Pearson and she was just a girl in high school and the only demons she had to deal with were the senior’s who never thought her face fit.
When she opened them again Michael was burning her with his sapphire stare, his brows drawn low. She could tell he was battling with himself. He wanted her but was refusing to allow himself to have her.
“Michael, I don’t know why but. . . I can just feel that there’s a reason why we found each other again, after all this time. You are the one who speaks about destiny and fate. What if we’re just meant to be together?” She reached up and swiped at her left eye before the tear fell. “There’s something between us I just feel it, and I know you do too.”
He sighed as he closed his eyes. “I can’t. . . ”
“Then stay with me, here, tonight.” There she goes again, speaking before she has time to think. She couldn’t believe the words had just left her mouth but she held his gaze wanting him to see how serious she was, and to understand her meaning. What the hell did she have to lose anyway?
She guessed she’d shocked the hell out of Michael too as he hadn’t said a word. She could tell he was having some sort of internal battle with himself and expected the rational part of his brain to win. She was mentally preparing herself for the knockback when. . .
“Ok.”
What? He said yes. Her heart began to sing as he smiled at her tenderly but her elation was short lived as she soon realised this could very well be the last time she saw him, the only time they would get to spend with each other before he committed suicide, or the already dead version of it.
“I just need to call Evo. He was expecting me back. You’d better tell Alethia too.” he said as he got up from the sofa and headed out of the door.
She grabbed her cell from out of her coat pocket in the hall, noticed through the little window in the front door that Michael was on the porch, and headed for the bathroom. Shit. She had like. . . zero seconds to freshen up and make herself at least half decent if she was spending the night with Michael. It may be their one and only but she was going to make damn sure that she was at least half presentable.
She paused. Oh, God! She was spending the night with Michael, actually with him. Her stomach began to do back flips with a mixture of nerves and excitement. No time. She sent a short text to Alethia explaining what was happening and asking her to drop the car on the drive whenever she liked, hoping she sensed the hidden do-not-disturb message that was in there, and quickly brushed her teeth. Then she threw off her top, splashed her arm pits with cold water, dried them, and sprayed some sweet scented deodorant under each one before putting her top back on.
Her cell went off. Quick check, reply from Alethia. She was back at her hotel and she’d see her tomorrow. She ended it with: Enjoy yourselves :-).
Lacy smiled.
She practically ran from the bathroom across the hall to her room, pausing half way to check that Michael was still outside. She heard his muted voice from the other side of the door and then continued into her room. She quickly undressed, pulled some plain gray sweatpants and a white string top out of her closet, some fresh, matching underwear−white panties and bra−from her drawer and threw everything on. Finally she ran a brush through her hair and pinned the front back out of her face.
Just as she was walking back down the hall, Michael came through the door. He stopped short and looked her up and down, noticing that she’d changed. “I like to wear my sweats in the evening,” she said all nonchalant as though all she’d done was change her clothes. “Did you talk to Evo?”
“Yeah, he’s cool being at my place, says he has something to do anyway.” Michael replied, he looked a little awkward then removed his jacket.
“Just stick it up on the hook.” Lacy said awkwardly. Why the hell did she feel like a school girl on a first date all of sudden? And by the looks of things Michael felt the same. This was ridiculous. They were both adults. And anyway, it wasn’t like they hadn’t spent time together before. Only that was when things were just casual, when they were work colleagues who’d become friends. This was. . . different. “I’ll just make that coffee now.”
Thankfully, after a short time, things had become a lot less awkward between them. Lacy had made them both omelettes and they’d watched and laughed at some cheesy horror comedy on the horror channel. It was nice, relaxed; comfortable. They’d sat beside each other on the sofa and half way through the movie Lacy had nestled in to Michael’s side and he’d lifted his arm and placed it around her. She was still in the same spot when the credits began to scroll up the screen only now Michael was lightly stroking her arm. Her head was on his chest. She breathed him in; the scent of him was intoxicating, like dark spice mixed with an ocean breeze. She knew she would want to hold on to it, remember it for as long as she could.
Michael must have sensed her anguish. His voice vibrated in her ear through his chest. “Don’t think about it,” he said as he stroked his hand up her bare arm and over her shoulder.
Reluctantly, she sat up so she could see his face. “How can I not? There’s a chance that I’ll never see you again after tomorrow. I’m having a little trouble dealing with that.”
He turned his body to face her. “Lacy, I know it’s going to be dangerous but I’m not planning on staying down there. It may seem to you like a suicide mission but it isn’t. I promise I have every intention of returning. . . to you.”
She closed her eyes and whispered, “Please do.”
Michael placed his finger under her chin and lifted her head. “I will.”
He pulled her into his arms and she wrapped hers around his back. They simply hugged each other for a couple of minutes. Michael’s chin rested upon her head. She was at home within his arms, never wanting to let him go. But she had to. It was going to kill her but tomorrow she would say goodbye to him as though she would never see him again.
Michael pushed her back gently, his hands falling to her arms. “Hey, don’t think about it tonight ok? Let’s just be together.”
She bit her teeth together to force back tears. She nodded her head. Then Michael leaned in and softly placed his mouth on hers. As soon as their lips joined, Lacy’s hear
t began to pound and she instantly melted into his kiss. His tongue pushed into her mouth finding hers and twining together in a sensual dance.
When he broke off he leaned his forehead against hers. She saw him close his eyes and he whispered, “I don’t want this to be the last time I kiss you, or hold you.”
“Then come back to me.”
He began to kiss her again, wrapping his arms around her and stroking one hand up her back and into the nape of her neck, his fingers weaving into her hair. She was lost in him, the feel of his warm, full lips, his tongue massaging hers. He was like a drug that caused all her nerve endings to tingle with desire.
Next minute she was being picked up, Michael’s strong arms carrying her while he continued with his hypnotic kiss. She hadn’t realised how far he’d walked until she felt herself being placed on a bed, her bed. Michael followed her, his lips still fused with hers. She felt the weight of his body press down on her and she wrapped her arms around his back, feeling his muscles move under the material that she so wanted her hands to be under. She moved them down, found the hem of his sweater and slid her hands underneath and. . . Oh, god his skin was so soft she just had to feel it touching hers.
Michael’s mouth left hers and moved down to her chin. He kissed all the way around her neck. She closed her eyes uncontrollably at the sensation of his little soft kisses on her skin. He kissed up the other side to her ear where he gently sucked on her lobe. His name left her lips in a breathy whisper and his sharp exhale tickled her ear sending goose bumps all over her body.
All they had done was kiss and she was totally lost in him, drowning in the pleasure of him. She needed to be closer, skin to skin. She pulled his sweater up the rest of the way and Michael took the hint and pulled it off over his head. He paused to look at her−his heavy eyes pinning her with an erotic stare that was almost her undoing. There were no words between them; there didn’t need to be. They both knew that this was probably their only night together and they were going to make it last, at least if Lacy had her way.