by Diana Palmer
Violet had managed to hide her misery from her mother. She knew that Blake wouldn’t mind if she quit again. It would probably be a relief to him. He wanted her and he couldn’t have her on his terms. Perhaps it would make things easier if she went back to work for Duke. She should pick up the phone and call him, right now…
The phone rang, making her jump. She picked it up without thinking.
“Hello?” she said.
“Don’t quit,” Blake said quietly.
Her heart jumped up into her throat. “Excuse me?” she stammered.
“Let’s take it one day at a time, Violet. All right?” he asked, and he actually sounded as if he was rethinking the future.
She felt reborn. Her spirit soared. She could hardly contain the happiness she felt. “All right,” she said on a soft laugh. “One day at a time!”
Eight
For days, Violet and Blake were hesitant around each other. He was the soul of courtesy. He didn’t curse or yell. He didn’t throw anyone out of the office. He seemed to be a changed man.
Violet loved the tenderness he showed her. He never raised his voice or made sarcastic comments about her work. But he wasn’t forward in any way, either, and he didn’t touch her. He seemed to be waiting for something, watching. Violet wondered why.
Julie Merrill was arrested for the attempted arson of Libby and Curt Collins’s house the following Saturday, and Cash Grier had a big surprise for the city council at the Monday disciplinary hearing. The patrol officers were exonerated and the mayor was embarrassed for trying to force them to retract drunk driving charges against his uncle, State Senator Merrill.
The next day was the primary elections. Calhoun Ballenger won the Democratic nomination away from Senator Merrill in a huge upset, and the mayor lost his job in a special election won by former mayor Eddie Cane. It was a great day for Jacobsville.
But on Wednesday morning, Violet lost her breakfast at the office. Blake, walking past the bathroom, heard her retching. He felt sick himself. Violet was healthy as a horse. If she was throwing up, there could only be one explanation. She had to be pregnant.
It was the end of the world. Blake went around for the rest of the day in a daze. So did Violet. He overheard Mabel and Libby murmuring about Violet’s bout of sickness and her upcoming doctor’s appointment. They clammed up immediately when Blake walked into the room. It didn’t take much to figure out that if Violet was pregnant, her boss was responsible. After all, who else had Violet been crazy about for a year? More importantly, who had she been alone with lately? It didn’t take a lot of guesswork.
Violet was panic-stricken after she lost her breakfast. She phoned Dr. Lou Coltrain’s office and made an appointment, all too aware that Mabel and Libby could hear her doing it. She told them she thought she had a virus and she was afraid of giving it to her mother. But they were suspicious and it showed.
She drove to Lou’s office after work, leaving Libby and Mabel to close up. She swore Dr. Coltrain to secrecy before she even mentioned her symptoms. Lou gave her a worried look as she had her nurse draw blood for a simple pregnancy test.
“One time,” Violet choked when Lou gave her the results of the test a few minutes later.
“One time is all it takes,” Lou said ruefully. “Oh, Violet.”
“What am I going to do?” the younger woman groaned, with her face in her hands. “I can’t even step on ants, Lou!”
The other woman patted her shoulder sympathetically. “I’m sure once Blake knows…”
Violet gave her a horrified look.
“Who else could it be?” Lou asked reasonably. “He’s the only man you care about, and you spent half a day at his house,” she added, smiling ruefully when Violet flushed. “Well, on the positive side, it won’t be difficult to find your due date.”
“He doesn’t want children,” Violet said. “He doesn’t even want anything permanent. He said so…!”
Lou eased her back down into the chair she’d bolted from. “Don’t panic.”
“My mother has already had a stroke! She raised me to be good…!”
“People are human,” Lou interrupted. “Your mother isn’t going to disown you or throw you out into the street.”
“Everyone will know,” Violet groaned. She drew in a shaky breath. “I could move up to San Antonio,” she began.
“That would make it even worse,” Lou assured her. “And leave Blake to face the music all alone.” She pursed her lips and her dark eyes flashed. “Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. I thought better of him. He’s intelligent enough to know about using protection. He couldn’t have thought you were experienced!”
The flush got worse. “Am I wearing a sign?”
“It’s a small town,” Lou pointed out. “You aren’t promiscuous.”
Violet drew in another breath. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Go home and eat healthy. I’ll prescribe vitamins. You need to be in the care of a good OB/GYN specialist as well. I know one in Victoria I can send you to,” she added when Violet looked even more terrified. “She’s discreet.”
Violet ground her teeth together. “This isn’t how I planned my life.”
“Life is what happens when you make other plans,” Lou quoted. She frowned. “I don’t remember who said that, but it’s absolutely true.” She gave Violet a long, smiling look. “You’ll make a wonderful mother.”
A mother! In the terror of the moment, Violet had lost track of things. But now she realized that there would be a miniature version of herself or Blake. She felt…odd. Her hands went to her flat stomach in wonder. There was a baby inside her!
“Now you’re getting the picture.” Lou laughed. “There’s nothing quite like the feeling a woman gets when she realizes there’s a tiny life inside her body. When I knew I was pregnant, I could hardly believe it,” she added. “I was excited, and then afraid, and then I walked around in a daze of daydreams.” Her eyes misted. “It was the happiest nine months of my life. I can hardly wait to do it all over again, but we wanted to wait until our little boy was older. It’s hard to handle a baby and a toddler and a profession, all at the same time.”
Violet smiled, feeling torn by emotions. “I’ve always wanted children. I just hoped…well, I’d have liked being married.”
“Tell Blake and you will be,” Lou suggested.
Violet shook her head. “I can’t tell him. Not now. Maybe not ever.”
“He has an obligation to help support his child, Violet,” Lou said firmly. “You didn’t get pregnant all by yourself. As for keeping it from him, that isn’t going to be possible. Not in a town this small. For one thing,” she said, “when you get this prescription filled, everybody in the pharmacy is going to know what’s going on,” she added, writing it out. “It’s for prenatal vitamins.”
Violet had that base covered, at least. “I’ll drive up to Victoria and get it filled,” she said doggedly.
“All right, ostrich, hide your head in the sand while you can,” Lou said amusedly.
“I can do this,” she said firmly.
“Sure you can,” Lou humored her. She handed Violet the prescription. “No heavy lifting for the first trimester. And get plenty of sleep.”
“Plenty of sleep. Right,” Violet muttered, foreseeing sleeplessness that might never end, from worrying about her condition and her mother’s health.
Lou patted her shoulder. “You won’t believe me, but in five or six months, you’re going to look back on this day and smile.”
“If I were a gambler, I’d take you up on that,” Violet said heavily. “But thanks, Dr. Lou.”
Lou watched her go with worried eyes that Violet didn’t see. She wondered how in the world Violet was going to manage.
Blake knew that Violet had been to see Lou Coltrain because he’d seen her coming out of Lou’s office on his way home from work. The visit, combined with the hunted look on Violet’s face when she came in to work the next day, told the whole story. He cursed h
imself for what he’d done to them both. If he’d kept his head, if he’d used protection, if, if, if…! Now he was going to be a father and he had to marry the mother of his child or disgrace himself and Mrs. Hardy as well as Violet. He hated the whole idea of giving up his freedom. He hated the idea of a child in his life. He wasn’t family man material.
But he was a responsible man and he had a conscience. He was going to have to act. He didn’t want Violet doing something desperate.
If he told her that he knew about her condition, she’d know that he was asking her to marry him out of duty and she’d refuse. So he had to hide his real feelings and pretend to have a change of heart while there was still time. He had a poker face. He could pull it off. After all, what choice did he have?
When it was quitting time, he went out to the main office. “Violet, how about a cup of coffee and a steak and salad at Barbara’s Café?” he asked carelessly. “You can take a salad home to your mother.”
Libby and Mabel hid delighted smiles, said their good-nights, and left at once to give the couple some privacy.
Violet stared at her boss curiously. “Supper? With you?” she stammered.
He forced a smile. “Supper with me. Are you game?”
“People will talk.”
He shrugged. “So?”
She felt a little better. At least he liked her enough that he wasn’t backing away from gossip. Maybe there was a little hope for the future after all. She smiled. “I’d love to!”
“Good. Call your mother and we’ll walk over to Barbara’s after we lock up.”
“I’ll do it right now!”
Barbara served three meals a day, and her café was always crowded after quitting time. Today was no exception. When Violet walked in with Blake Kemp, conversation muted at once and all eyes turned toward the couple in the buffet line.
They chose steaks and salads, and Violet placed an order to go for her mother. But she insisted on paying for her own order, to Blake’s dismay.
“Talk about independent women,” Blake murmured dryly as they sat down to eat.
“Mama raised me that way,” Violet said simply, smiling. “She said we need to depend on ourselves and not impose on other people.”
“I never thought of steak as an imposition,” he mused.
She laughed. “Thanks for the offer, anyway,” she replied.
He finished his salad in short order and started on his steak. He didn’t use condiments. He noticed that Violet didn’t, either.
“What sort of music do you like?” he asked abruptly.
She hesitated with a piece of steak halfway to her mouth. “I like country-western and classical. And some hard rock,” she added impishly.
He laughed. “Actually, so do I.”
“Do you like to read?”
He nodded. “I like ancient history and biographies.”
She smiled sheepishly. “I like women’s fiction and books about gardening and gourmet cooking.”
He searched her eyes. “Your mother said you like astronomy.”
“I do,” she agreed. “But I can’t afford a telescope.”
He leaned forward. “I have a twelve-inch Schmidt-Cassegrain.”
That was an expensive composite telescope, part refractor and part reflector. She’d dreamed of owning something so large and efficient. She gasped. “You do?”
He laughed. “I spend a lot of time outside at night. Since I live so far out of town, I don’t have problems with light pollution.”
“I’ll bet you can see the craters on the moon,” she sighed.
“I can see inside them,” he corrected.
She whistled softly. “I’d love to look through it.”
“We can arrange that. Think you could get used to two warlike Siamese cats?”
“I like Mee and Yow,” she replied, curious.
He stared down at his plate. “I’ve been giving a lot of thought to our situation,” he said finally. “Since you left and went to work for Wright, my priorities have changed. I’m not as happy being alone as I used to be.”
She put down her fork and sat just staring at him. Her heart was beating her to death. Could he mean…?
He lifted his eyes to hers. “I said that I wasn’t a marrying man. And at the time, I believed it. But I like having you around.” His gaze fell to her mouth and his eyes darkened. “In fact, I’d like having you around more than just at work.”
“I don’t understand,” she faltered.
He reached for her hand and curled her fingers into his. He looked into her blue eyes and felt as if he were drowning. “I think we might get engaged,” he said, trying to find the right words and failing miserably.
“You and me?” she exclaimed.
“You and me,” he agreed. He slid his fingers over hers. “Violet, we have a lot in common. I think we’ll find a lot more as we go along.” His voice lowered. “And physically, there’s no question of compatibility.”
She flushed softly. “But, you said you didn’t ever want to get married, and that you’d never want children…”
“A man says a lot of stupid things when he’s trying to hold on to a comfortable routine, Violet,” he replied. “I’m a loner. It’s been hard for me to even think about changing my life, in any way.”
“You don’t love me, though,” she blurted out.
He couldn’t pretend to. It would look like a lie. Violet was perceptive. His fingers curled around hers. “Friendship and affection can lead to it,” he said gently. “I can’t give you any guarantees about happily ever after. But I can promise you affection and companionship and respect. The rest will fall into place. I know it will. Give it a chance. Say yes.”
She hesitated. It didn’t sound genuine. He wasn’t pretending undying love, but he wasn’t promising much. She could get companionship and affection from a dog or a cat. What she wanted from Blake was much more. What sort of marriage would it be if he didn’t love her, as she loved him? He obviously enjoyed her physically, but everybody said that passion wore itself out eventually. After it was gone, what would Blake have left if he didn’t love her as well as want her?
“You’re thinking it to death,” he accused. “Listen to me. I’m tired of living alone. I’m willing to take a chance if you are. If things don’t work out, it’s no problem. We’ll go our separate ways.” He was already thinking ahead; if she turned out not to be pregnant, there was no reason to think he’d have to stay married to her. But he wasn’t about to admit that.
“You mean, we’d get a divorce,” she said.
He shrugged. “Sometimes things don’t work out. I’m not saying I think we wouldn’t make it, Violet. I’m offering you a way out, just in case.”
“Isn’t that sort of like having a fire engine stand by in case there’s ever a fire?” she fished.
He chuckled. “No. It’s not.” He studied her warmly. “Come on. Give in. You can have any sort of engagement ring you like, and I’ll even let you sign an ironclad agreement that you’ll never leave me to work for anyone else ever again.”
“Why would I sign such an agreement?” she exclaimed.
“For my peace of mind, of course,” he told her dryly. “You’d want me to be happy, wouldn’t you?”
She lost her apprehension and laughed with him. “That’s awful.”
“Give me time. I’ll get even worse with age,” he promised.
“What a horrible thought!”
“I’ll promise not to throw dictionaries at you,” he added.
“You’ve never thrown one at me,” she recalled. She hesitated. “You didn’t throw one at Jessie?”
“It was a thin one,” he assured her. “Paperback, and abridged.”
She burst out laughing. “No wonder she quit!”
“Oh, that wasn’t about the dictionary,” he said easily. “That was after I poured coffee over a brief she typed.”
She gaped at him, waiting for an explanation.
“It had two spelling errors per l
ine. I wanted to make sure she knew to redo it.”
“You couldn’t have just asked?”
“Too demeaning,” he said. “My way worked much better.”
“Your way made her quit!”
“So you could come back,” he pointed out. “She wouldn’t have quit if I’d just asked her to retype the brief, would she?”
She really liked him. It was surprising how comfortable she felt with him, now, even though he excited her almost beyond bearing. It would be taking a chance, she supposed, to marry him. But she didn’t have enough willpower to refuse. Perhaps she could teach him to love her, if she worked at it. At the moment, she felt as if she could do anything. Her heart was soaring with delight.
Her free hand covered his. “I must save other women from you,” she said facetiously. “So I suppose I’ll have to marry you, after all.”
He felt funny in the pit of his stomach. He was willing to marry her out of a sense of duty, although she wouldn’t know it. But when she agreed to it, he felt suddenly lighter than air. He felt like the luckiest man alive. That was absurd. He didn’t love her. He wanted her. He remembered suddenly the feel of her eager, untried body under his on the living room carpet and his cheeks reflected a ruddy color.
“What is it?” she asked, curious.
“I was remembering my carpet.”
It took a minute, but she remembered, too. Her own face flushed.
He laughed softly, wickedly. “At least, in that department we’re very compatible, aren’t we, Violet,” he taunted.
“Devil!” she accused, glancing around to make sure nobody heard him.
“It’s okay. We’re alone on the planet,” he assured her in a mock whisper. “We’re invisible to the rest of humanity. That being the case, how do you feel about linoleum?” he asked with a speculative glance toward the floor.
“Blake Kemp!” she exclaimed, smacking him on the arm.
He grinned at her. It was a genuine smile. He’d never felt such pleasure in a woman’s company. Well, not since Shannon. The thought of Shannon wiped the smile from his face and left him haunted.