“Blaine!” Mia said. “She’s feeding her baby.”
“And feeding my freaking mind,” Blaine said. “I’m looking for…”
“What in the hell is this?” a voice boomed.
Ella looked back and saw Miller put a hand to Blaine’s shoulder.
“I was looking for you,” Blaine said. “But I walked in and your girl’s got her tit…”
Miller slapped Blaine across the face. Blaine fell out of the room, tripped over the cot, and ended up on the floor.
“Fuck, bro,” Blaine said.
“You two,” Miller said, pointing to Emily and Mia. “Get the fuck out. Right now.”
The two women left without saying a word. Mia shut the door and Miller stood there, staring at Ella.
“What the hell is going on?” Miller asked.
Ella wiggled her shoulder and let the blanket fall from her. She turned just enough to show Miller what exactly was going on.
“I’m feeding my son,” Ella said.
“Blaine saw?”
“A little.”
“He said something stupid?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll kill him.”
“Don’t bother,” Ella said. Beck became unlatched and his eyes were heavy, starting to fall asleep already again. Ella balanced the sleeping baby with one hand and tried to adjust herself but was having no luck. She finally looked up to Miller and sighed. “Can you help?”
“Sure,” Miller said. He crouched down before Ella.
She saw him battling his own will not to stare at her exposed breast. But his eyes kept moving from her eyes to her breast. Over and over.
“Can you take Beck?” Ella asked.
“Yeah.”
Miller reached forward to take the baby. As his fingers scooped around the back of the baby’s head, Miller’s fingertips touched Ella’s breast, making her jump. Her breasts were always extra tender, sometimes sore, after feeding Beck. But the fact that it was Miller touching her - accidentally or not - it made it ten times worse. Or better.
As Miller stood up, holding Beck, the baby looked so tiny in his large hands.
Ella hurried to tuck her breast away and then stood up too.
“I woke up and you weren’t out there,” Ella said. “I grabbed something to eat and Emily and Mia introduced themselves. Then Beck needed to eat so I came back here…”
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, darling,” Miller said. “I had to take care of something this morning. It’s all good. You’re still safe. Nothing to worry about.”
Ella watched as Miller started to bring Beck closer to his chest. He wasn’t afraid of holding the baby and wasn’t afraid to care.
“You can put him down on the bed,” Ella said. “I’m going to get him changed.”
“Okay,” Miller said. He bent and put the baby on the bed. “Christ, I wish I could sleep like that.”
“Me too,” Ella said. “He’s innocent, that’s why.”
Miller looked at Ella. “Not a chance, darling. That baby is far from innocent.”
Ella nodded and felt her throat tighten. “Yeah. You’re right.”
Miller touched her back and pulled her toward him. “Hey, that’s okay though. He’s in good hands. Those women, I trust them. They’re with patched in members, okay? They’re good women. Mia’s uncle was the judge.”
“What?” Ella asked.
“Yeah. So she knows what it’s all about. I’m telling you this because if you need a woman… I don’t know, for anything, just know you can trust them.”
“Thank you. For all of this again, Miller. I can figure out what to do from here though.”
“No you can’t,” Miller said. “You’re here and staying here. I have someone coming in to help with all this.”
“Who?”
“Club business. It’s a table thing. I shouldn’t even be saying this to you.”
“But you are. Why?”
“To make you feel a little at ease maybe,” Miller said. “I just want you to be able to exhale. Like you did last night.”
Ella felt the color rush to her face. “Miller… what happened…”
“I get it,” Miller said. “I slept on the cot. I’ll sleep there again, too. No worries, darling. That was just…”
“Something waiting to happen,” Ella said. “Because of how it ended with us.”
“Ended,” Miller said and grinned. “I don’t remember anything ending. Just pausing.”
Miller pulled at Ella again and planted a kiss to her head. He then moved away from her, leaving her reaching for him, her jaw dropped.
I don’t remember anything ending. Just pausing.
Ella felt her body tingling and aching, again.
thirteen.
Miller put a hand out and lifted Blaine to his feet. He then put a hand to Blaine’s throat and pushed him against the wall. He held there, gritting his teeth, wanting to kill the son of a bitch once and for all.
Blaine didn’t fight back. He knew what he did was sick and wrong.
But it was Blaine. If he caught some woman breastfeeding and didn’t do his best to make everyone feel uncomfortable that meant something was wrong with him.
“I should kill you,” Miller said and pushed away.
“For what? That was fucking amazing.”
“Christ, man. What is wrong with you?”
“I’m amazing. Milk from a tit.”
“If you say something about Ella one more time I’m going to drop you.”
Blaine put his hands up. “Fair enough. Change of subject then.”
“First up, what did you want?” Miller asked. “You don’t just get to barge into my room anymore, for the obvious reason.”
“I apologize for that, Miller. I’m not used to you having a woman in your room that matters. And I swear I didn’t see much of anything. Just the idea of it…”
“Blaine.”
“Right, right. Stay on track.” Blaine rubbed his forehead.
Miller couldn’t believe the sight of Ella breastfeeding got to Blaine so much.
Then again, why the fuck not?
Her breasts were beautiful. Thick and full. Providing.
Miller made fists and shook his head. “Goddammit, man, now you’ve got me thinking about it.”
“You get to get those things though,” Blaine said. “You could suck on them, Miller. You could dri..”
“Hell no,” Miller said. “What the fuck do you want right now?”
“You took prospects on a secret run,” Blaine said. “Not my business, but come on…”
“For the table,” Miller said. “Leave it at that.”
“Okay. I’ve got a friend. She works in the department.”
“Frelen PD?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re fucking cops now?”
“Hey,” Blaine said. “She’s tall, strong as hell, and I don’t mind being cuffed once in a while.”
Miller shook his head again. “Sick, man, sick.”
“What’s sick is what she lets me do with her nightstick,” Blaine said. “Fucking wild.”
“Get to the point.”
“She was looking for a fuck,” Blaine said. “She gave me a call today and wanted to make plans. Told her I was already hard and waiting. She couldn’t come this morning because she said Jerry had everyone running around like crazy, working on warrants. Something big going down.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah. Fuck. I didn’t get my dick sucked.”
“I don’t give a shit about your dick,” Miller said.
“I do,” Blaine said.
“Get Gaige right now.”
“He’s going to suck my dick?”
“Seriously? You’re a fuck, brother. A true fuck. We need to figure out what Jerry is after.”
“Is it not obvious?” Blaine asked. He then pointed behind Miller.
Miller looked back at the door.
He was coming for his wife - ex-wife - and kid.
“Not going to happen,” Miller said. “You saw Ella’s face, right?”
“Not going to lie,” Blaine said. “I wasn’t looking at her face at all.”
“Asshole,” Miller growled. “Jerry beat her up. That’s why she came running to us. To me. This is on me, man. I don’t want to put the club in danger but I have no choice. I can’t let Ella and that baby go back with him.”
“Now she’s a prize,” Blaine said. “He’ll use it all against us. It’s baggage.”
“I know. We’re not supposed to have baggage either. But at this point, Blaine, if it costs me the patch, so be it.” Miller grabbed the edge of the President’s patch and tugged at it. “I’ll rip this off right now.”
“Christ, brother,” Blaine said. “She means something to you, huh?”
“You have no idea. I have to do this the right way this time.”
“Okay,” Blaine said. “I’m on your side. Not because I believe in love and all that shit, but because I want you to get to suck on those tits. You need it.”
“I hate you,” Miller said and started to move.
“No, you don’t,” Blaine said.
“Listen to me. Get Gaige and the table. Outside right now. I want five prospects in the hallway, with guns. If Jerry comes and tries any muscle to get Ella or Beck, we’re firing back at him right now.”
Blaine nodded. “Shit. Okay.”
Miller opened the door and caught Ella turning, standing topless.
“Dammit,” Miller groaned. He turned his head. “Sorry.”
“I am,” Ella said. “I should have locked the door.”
Beck was nowhere to be found.
“Where’s the kid?”
“Sleeping in the bed you made. He’s crashed hard now.”
Ella looked over her shoulder. She was so fucking beautiful. She still had those innocent touches of young woman lingering but goddamn she was all woman. Her skinny shoulders down to her wide hips.
Miller felt his cock readying, as though he could just walk up behind her and fuck her. What his body and heart wanted his mind refused to let happen.
“I need to talk to you for a second,” Miller said.
Ella snatched a bra off the bed and started to put it on. Seeing but not really seeing was damn torture for Miller. When Ella reached back and tried to clasp the bra, Miller came forward.
“Let me,” he said.
He grabbed the bra and hooked it. Definitely not a thing Miller was used to at all. He put his hands to Ella’s shoulders and pulled, bringing her back to his chest. She turned her head and looked at him. Now Miller couldn’t take it anymore.
He kissed Ella. His lips, his tongue, he needed to taste her, explore her, savor her. Ella reached back with her left hand, grabbing at the back of Miller’s head. Her fingers dug at his head, wanting more. Fuck, she always wanted more.
Miller felt his hands slide down her back and around.
He broke the kiss and sucked in a breath.
“Goddammit,” he said. “We can’t. We fucking can’t, darling.”
“I know,” Ella said. “But I can’t help it.”
“Listen. Jerry might be coming here right now.”
Ella jumped away from Miller. She spun around, standing in a bra and PJ bottoms.
Everything about her screamed perfect. She was the calming force that could make the world seem right all the while destroying everything Miller knew. He never experienced love or cared about it since Ella. And now she was back.
“What are you talking about?” Ella asked.
“Blaine got some information. That’s why he came looking for me. What I need you to do is stay here. Right in this room no matter what. I’m lining the hallway with prospects. They’ll be armed. Nothing will happen to you.”
Ella shook her head. “No. No. No way. I have to go. I can’t be here and wait for him to attack me again.”
“Nobody is going to attack you, darling.”
“You don’t know that.” Ella ran a hand through her hair. “I’m leaving. I’ll take my car or I’ll call a cab.”
She made a move and Miller grabbed her arm. “Hey.”
Ella turned and a hand came across Miller’s face. It stung for a few seconds and he let Ella go. She then stumbled back and put her hands to the wall.
“Don’t hit me,” Ella said.
Miller looked at Ella. He touched his cheek. “You think I’d hit you?”
“I don’t know. I’m… I’m so scared right now.”
Miller approached Ella with caution. “Scared? I understand that. You have every right to be scared. To be angry. You have every right to want to swing at me even. I’ll take it. You’re worth it. But if you ever think for a second I’d raise my hand to you… no. Never. Goddammit, darling, never.”
“Miller…”
“No,” he growled.
He came forward and kissed Ella again. He couldn’t help himself, again. Their mouths opened and they went at it hard and fast. The kiss was hot, sloppy, perfect. Better than any wake up Miller could possibly have in the morning.
He put his hands to her waist and held her tight against the wall. He broke the kiss and went right for her neck. Her smooth skin tasted delicious, the tip of Miller’s tongue slicing down her neck to her chest. The smell of her hair, her skin, it was driving him crazy.
As he kissed to her breasts, he hungered for so much more. His hands then turned, sliding along her hips, moving her pants down.
Ella put her hands to Miller’s head and hair but she did not dare stop him now. It was far too late, just like last night. When the moment hit, it hit bad. And with each sensual kiss down Ella’s body, Miller knew he was traveling into more and more dangerous territory.
But it was too good to pass up.
At her belly button, he flickered his tongue, feeling her wiggle and groan. Then he kept going. He saw and felt small lines in her skin, the remembrance of being pregnant. Ella tried to put her hand between his mouth and her belly, obviously self conscious of the lingering small stretch marks.
Miller wasn’t going to allow that to happen. He nibbled at her fingers, chasing her hand away.
“Everything is beautiful,” he whispered, staring up. “I promise you, darling. Never fear a thing with me, Ella. No matter what.”
Ella shuddered and put her hand to the wall. She let out a groan as Miller continued down her body. He tasted her soft, clean skin right to her slippery center. There his tongue found comfort, his thirst instantly beginning to be quenched. He swirled and gently opened her folds, pressing to her sex hard, opening her throbbing walls.
Ella cried out and thrust at him.
Miller pulled back with a wet sound. “Hey, darling, I don’t mind the noise. But you should keep it down a little. I want you to come.”
Ella looked down, her face flushed. She bit her lip and pulled at Miller’s head.
Grinning, Miller went right back to work at her. His tongue moving rampant to her body, unable to get completely enough of her sweet sex. She tasted like he remembered she would. The longing fantasy had finally come to life. His tongue brought Ella to her toes. She thrust, groaned, fighting back the wild urge to scream. One hand came down to the inside of her thigh and pushed, keeping her open. Miller let his other hand reach up to Ella’s breast, cupping tight over her bra. She then lifted her right leg and wrapped it over Miller’s shoulder. The heel of her foot pulled at him and in a matter of a second, Ella was riding against Miller’s willing mouth.
Miller rolled his tongue from the bottom of Ella’s pussy to the top, right to the nub of her clit. There he waited, suckling against her sensitive spot, feeling Ella jumping at him even harder.
Her hand clutched his hand at her breast. She pulled, bringing his hand to her mouth. She started to kiss his fingers, slow and seductive, driving him damn mad.
Somewhere in the back of Miller’s mind he knew this couldn’t be happening. It was supposed to end last night. Fuck that, it was supposed
to end years ago.
But yet here he was, tasting Ella. Sucking against her wet center, feeling her getting ready to climax. She was wetter than he ever remembered, bending her knees, rocking harder than ever against his tongue. When she tried to move away, Miller wasn’t allowing it. His hands hurried and grabbed her fleshy ass. He kept her steady and kept his tongue devouring her.
“Oh, fuck,” Ella whispered. “Fuck…”
Miller groaned and kept going. His face was beyond buried between her legs. Her scent was all he could smell. Her wetness all he could taste. There was no air to breathe, just Ella’s perfect body. And Miller breathed deep.
Ella’s hand curled tighter around Miller’s hair. Her nails dug at the center of his back. Before she even announced to the room she was climaxing, Miller felt it happening. A gush of warmth and her body quivering uncontrollably.
She rocked fast as Miller took her over and over. His hands released their hold on her ass and moved to her hips. He stopped Ella from moving and took all the last taste he possibly could. That’s when he kissed up to her soft mound, to her soft skin under her belly button. Again, he felt her move, as though she were worried about her belly, which was complete bullshit.
Miller kissed her there and pulled away.
He then stood up, easing Ella’s leg off his shoulder.
He grabbed her by the face. “I would never fucking hurt you. Ever.”
“I don’t…”
“It doesn’t matter,” Miller said. “Think about what I said. And that… that was the last time.”
Miller licked his lips. She was all over him. His lips, mouth, tongue, and heart.
Miller turned and walked away, his cock ready to rip through his jeans.
That was the last time.
As Miller stood at the door, he looked back. Ella stood there, wearing nothing but a bra, her hands against the wall. She was the sexiest woman he’d ever seen. Then. And now.
Miller knew then the only time there would actually be a last time was when a bullet would take his life.
He left the bedroom and kicked the cot over. He hated that he slept on the damn thing. Nobody ever put him out of his own bed. Except Ella. She crashed through doors, walls, a blackened heart, and that was that.
Charging down the hall, Miller watched the prospects all get ready in the hallway. It was like going to goddamn war. When he turned the corner to the bar, he half expected someone to hand him a bullet proof vest. Which would not have been the first time. There had been many wars fought in Frelen. Wars fought right in the Back Down Devil MC lot. The difference then and now was the reality of the enemy. Fighting a crew was one thing. Taking down another MC was another. But to have the Frelen PD pushing at the MC, and Jerry still fucking around with backdoor deals - and wanting to come and take his ex-wife and kid back - that was something entirely different. It put every member of the club in danger for no good reason.
SAVAGE LOVE (A Back Down Devil MC Romance Novel) Page 10