Miller put his other hand to her head. His fingers pulled at her hair, moving it from her face. A hand on each side of her head, Miller guided Ella’s mouth up and down on him. He then lifted his body, pumping faster at Ella. She had no choice but to stay with him. What was supposed to be her offering to Miller quickly flipped gears. Miller was in complete control, as always.
“Fuck,” Miller growled. “Now…”
Ella dug her nails into his leg and his stomach. She moved down and held there, feeling the first shot of his release. He throbbed and she pulled back, feeling him go again and again and again. Ella stayed right with Miller, listening to him grunt each time she sucked with his pulsing cock. She took all of him, refusing to leave his body until he was done. And even when he finished, Ella didn’t move. She pulled back to the tip of his beautiful dick and slid right back down one last time.
Miller let his hands fall from her head as he was completely relaxed.
Ella then came off him and watched his cock fall back, still mostly hard, still throbbing. She took a few seconds to catch her breath. Miller reached for her face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.
“Goddamn, I’ve missed that,” he said with a grin.
“You’re drunk,” Ella said.
“So are you. Heard about your night.”
“Don’t worry about my night,” Ella said. She pushed on the cot and stood up. “Go back to sleep.”
This was her way of taking some kind of control and stay seductive. She moved toward the door and Miller shot a hand out, grabbing her leg. Even that touch alone made her body melt. She looked back and down at him.
“Darling,” Miller said. “You have no fucking idea. No fucking idea.”
“Of what?”
“Sleep tight.”
Miller turned his head and put his arm over his face again. He didn’t even bother to tuck his dick away and zip up his jeans.
The entire thing turned Ella on.
Back in bed - in Miller’s bed - she shut her eyes and tried to fall asleep.
She dreamt of Miller. Holding tight to his leather cut, savoring the freedom of the road. She dreamt of she, Miller, and Beck, sitting in a park, having a picnic. The family she really wanted. The family that should have been.
In the dream, she stared at Miller, falling in love. Well, still in love because she never fell out of love with him.
Reaching for Miller’s face, there was an explosion.
Then blood.
Then bullets.
And everyone was dead.
sixteen.
Miller opened the bedroom door and carried a tray of food to the bed. He couldn’t believe he was awake so damn early. He also couldn’t believe the kid was still damn sleeping. He looked down at the crib and the little guy was on his back, head to the side. For some reason Miller swore he remembered something about babies not supposed to be sleeping on their backs. Something bad could happen. He quickly put the tray of food and coffee on the bed and reached down into the crib. Gently, he put his hand to Beck’s little belly and waited. Mind over matter, for a second, he had himself convinced the little guy wasn’t breathing.
But then Beck’s belly lifted and lowered. Over and over, just like he was supposed to be doing.
Breathing normal. Normal and healthy.
Miller put his hands to the crib. “Dammit, kid. Don’t do that to me. I don’t know how to handle this part of it all.”
Miller turned and set his sights on Ella. He moved along the side of the bed. He put his fingers to the covers and felt Ella’s body. He made a straight line up along her leg, hip, arm, and shoulder. As he crouched, he moved hair out of her face.
Ella’s eyes slowly opened.
“Morning, darling,” Miller whispered.
“Morning,” Ella said and smiled.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
“Good. I’m fine. How about you?”
“I’m built for the life, Ella. A night of drinking ain’t going to take me down.”
“I think my middle of the night event helped.”
“It sure as fuck helped me,” Miller said.
Christ, he couldn’t stop thinking about her sucking him. The way she just went for it. Waking up to a beautiful woman between his legs was one thing; that shit happened all the time. But to wake up with his woman between his legs, that was something else. Watching her take care of him, the feel of those lips wrapped so tight around his shaft, and then the beautiful rush of his orgasm…
Miller let out a breath.
He was getting hard again.
“Brought you some breakfast,” Miller said and nodded to the tray on the other side of the bed. “Careful you don’t spill anything.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” Ella said.
“I know. I would have gotten the kid something to eat but he’s… uh…”
Miller nodded to Ella’s chest and grinned.
“Yeah, about that. The ladies bought me a pump. So there’s milk in your fridge.”
“I heard about that. That prospect must have felt strange buying that.”
“Oh well,” Ella said. “It was nice to be able to have a drink or two.”
“Well, tonight, same thing.”
“What?”
Miller leaned in and kissed Ella’s cheek. “I want you to be ready. I’m taking you out on a date. Just you and me, darling. We’ll have a couple drinks, talk, and come back here. Alone.”
“Oh, Miller. I don’t get to be alone.”
Miller let the tip of his nose touch Ella’s. “You trust the women, right?”
“I guess.”
“Then let them take care of Beck tonight. Everything will be fine. I’ll have the clubhouse and the room guarded.”
“I don’t know.”
Miller grazed his lips to Ella’s. “Think about it.”
“Okay.”
They kissed. Miller touched Ella’s face and pulled at her, wanting more. So he fucking took more. He opened his mouth and kissed her harder. The feel of her soft tongue meeting his, taking control of a perfect warm kiss, that’s what made all the bullshit worth it.
Miller pushed Ella back against the bed, sliding himself a little more onto the bed. He wanted her. Fuck all the rules. Fuck what was right and wrong and all the bullshit stuck in between. Miller was now following not only his body, but his heart.
Stroking Ella’s hair, he kept kissing her. His right hand touched her side and inched down, finding the bottom of her shirt. He couldn’t help but touch her warm, soft skin. Fingertips trailing up under her shirt, Miller’s hand cupped her supple breast. Ella’s nipple became erect, sliding against the palm of his hand. He brought his fingers together and gently pulled at her, feeling Ella move, tasting her sigh as she broke the kiss and put her head back, thrusting her chest at him.
“Fuck,” Miller whispered.
He kissed down her neck as his hand moved from her breast and started to pull up her shirt. He then held her shirt up, staring down at a beautiful set of breasts. They were thick and creamy, deep pink nipples, delicious.
With the tip of his tongue, Miller tasted Ella’s left nipple. He flickered at her, making her sigh again. His lips tightened around her nipple, gently suckling for a few seconds. Then his mouth opened more, sliding over her entire breast, tasting her perfect skin. He sucked a little hard, feeling Ella pushing at him. Slowly as Miller pulled back, he let his teeth graze her nipple. Ella twisted and groaned.
Miller pulled away. “I can’t fucking do this, darling. I need you all the time.”
Ella dug a hand into his hair. “Take it all, Miller. It’s all for you. Fuck, please.”
Miller brought his hand down and cupped Ella’s breast again. He squeezed her nipple with his thumb and pointer, watching with marvel as liquid formed and leaked from her.
“Shit, sorry,” Ella whispered. “I can’t help…”
“No,” Miller said. “It’s fucking beautiful.”
Miller squeezed aga
in, watching her body work. That deep maternal instinct was so sexy. It drove Miller wild, making him harder than ever. He turned his body and made sure Ella could feel him. He then kissed her again, hard, deep, fast.
It was a quick kiss as he pulled away. “I’m going to fuck you senseless. Nothing can stop me.”
Ella opened her mouth and nodded.
Miller put his other hand to her lower belly, sliding into her pajama bottoms. The tips of his fingers started to feel smooth, wet skin…
And then there was a sound. A goo sound. Follow by a little scream.
Miller turned his head and couldn’t believe his eyes.
The kid was awake.
Beck was standing in his damn crib. His big, brown eyes still coming to life, a morning smile, making all kinds of noises.
“Oh, shit,” Ella whispered.
“Busted,” Miller said.
“I’m so sorry, Miller. That’s why I…”
Miller slid off Ella. He pulled her shirt down and rubbed his thumb against her chin. “No worries, darling.”
Miller turned and walked to the crib. To his shock Beck reached for him. Miller lifted the baby up and stared at him. Beck went right for the scruff on Miller’s face again.
“Don’t worry, kid,” Miller said, “you keep eating and you’ll have your own beard soon enough.” Beck let out a whine and started slapping at Miller. “Oh, you like to fight, huh?”
“He’s hungry,” Ella said.
Miller turned, holding Beck close to his chest. “Can I?”
“You want to feed Beck?”
“Sure,” Miller said. “You said you had some in the fridge, right?”
“Well, yeah. I probably shouldn’t breastfeed him until the afternoon. Just to be safe. I was kind of a bad mother last night.”
“You’re never a bad mother,” Miller said. “Ever.”
Miller sat on the edge of the bed. Ella prepared a bottle of breast milk for Beck and handed it to Miller.
This was definitely a first for Miller.
“Just rest Beck in your arm and offer him the nipple.”
“You going to do that to me later?” Miller asked.
Ella put a hand to Miller’s shoulder. “Depends on how nice the restaurant is.”
“So that’s a yes for our date?”
“Just feed the baby.”
Miller offered Beck the bottle. The little guy latched right on and went to town. His little hands clutched at Miller’s fingers, pulling, making sure Miller wasn’t going to move the bottle.
Ella still had her hand on Miller’s shoulder.
The entire thing strangely felt good. It felt right. Like it was all meant to be this way.
“You’re a natural,” Ella said.
“No. He’s just hungry.”
Miller stared at Beck.
Could have been mine. Easily. If I hadn’t gone on that fucking run that night.
The more Miller thought about that all those years ago he wondered if it hadn’t been set up to fail. The mission that should have killed Miller. It ended up being the mission that put him in line to become the President. Then again, he lost Ella.
Miller looked up at Ella.
Never again.
“I want you to know you can trust everyone in this club,” Miller said. “Even Trev. He’s wild. He’s an asshole. But he’ll die for us. And Blaine… I’m sorry what happened with him. He just can’t get enough of it all.”
“I noticed that,” Ella said. “He’s weird.”
“He’s a good man though. Probably as close to me as Griffin…”
Miller looked at Beck again. Crazy how life worked. A table guy getting killed. A baby coming to the clubhouse. Somewhere in all that, there was meaning and purpose.
“Miller, Mia told me some stuff,” Ella said. “Her uncle and Jerry… um… did Jerry have anything to do with…”
“With what?” Miller asked.
“With Griffin?”
Beck popped the bottle from his mouth.
“He’s done,” Miller said.
“No. He needs to be burped.”
“What do I do? Smack him in the back?”
“Yeah. But… not hurt him…”
“I’d never hurt Beck,” Miller said. He held Beck out and said, “This guy is my new friend. Right?”
Beck smiled and then hiccuped. A stream of spit up came out of his mouth and hit Miller’s shirt and jeans.
“Oh, damn!” Ella yelled. “I’m so sorry!”
“Why are you sorry?” Miller asked. “It’s fine. I’ve had worse shoot at me.”
Miller brought Beck close again and wiped the baby’s chin.
Beck pounded the rest of the bottle. Miller put a cloth over his shoulder and burped the baby again and then stood up. He rubbed the baby’s back and faced Ella.
“This is crazy,” she said.
“What is?”
“You holding a baby. Holding my baby.” Ella then frowned. “Sorry.”
“Why?”
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Hey, it’s okay. Beck is your baby. And, yeah, years ago, I wouldn’t have held a baby. Times change, darling.”
“Sometimes I wish he was your baby,” Ella blurted out.
She then blushed and covered her mouth.
Me too, darling.
Beck started to whine. Miller held Beck in his hands with arms stretched out. “Well, little dude, I think you shit yourself. And that’s something I’m not dealing with right now. We’ll stick to bottles, deal?”
Ella took Beck and placed him on the bed. She started to open the little buttons on the kid’s pajamas.
Miller took her by the arm and forced her to face him.
“What?” Ella asked.
“You can’t go back and change things,” Miller said. “If I could, I would. And to answer your question… yes. Jerry had something to do with it. He was the one who did it. I saw him. He pulled the trigger on a rifle that killed Griffin. I don’t want you wearing that guilt though. It’s not your job. I’ll do everything I can to tell you what I know when I can. I’ll never lie to you, darling. I…”
I still fucking love you.
Miller gritted his teeth.
Beck broke out into a full cry.
Miller settled for a kiss and left the room. He shut the door and walked to the wall and made fists, hitting the wall. He put his head to the wall and stared down. It was like he was out of breath. Or angry. Or… something.
In reality, it was easier than that.
Miller was in love. With Ella. And the baby.
seventeen.
Trev threw a shot of whiskey back and chased it down with a glass of milk. He then shoved both glasses to the edge of the bar and stood up. He stood and folded his arms, Miller watching the entire scene.
“How’d that taste?” Miller asked.
“Wonderful,” Trev said. “What’s our plan for today?”
“Brace ourselves for hell,” Miller muttered.
Blaine and Jace came into the clubhouse from the back hallways. Jace grabbed a pool stick and offered one to Blaine.
“Shoot?” Jace asked.
“No, I’m good,” Blaine said. He stared at the floor.
“What’s wrong with you?” Miller asked.
“She used her teeth too rough?” Trev asked.
“No,” Blaine said. “I hurt her.”
“You hurt someone?” Miller asked. “How bad?”
“A little blood,” Blaine said.
“From what hole?” Trev asked.
“Jesus,” Jace said. “I love these conversations.”
“No hole,” Blaine said. “Her tit.”
“Her tit?” Miller asked. “What did you do to her tit?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Blaine made a move for the bar. He waved for a beer.
Miller took out his gun and pointed it at the prospect. “Give him a beer and I’ll shoot you.”
�
�Fuck,” Blaine said. “Come on, brother.”
“What? Are you actually embarrassed for once?”
“No,” Blaine said. “I don’t want you to get mad at me.”
“Why would Miller get mad at you?” Trev asked. “He has his own tits to suck on.”
“Shut it,” Miller growled at Trev.
“That’s the problem,” Blaine said.
“What is?” Miller asked.
“Promise you won’t hit me?”
“No,” Miller said.
“Fine,” Blaine said. “This reliever… massive tits, man. I mean… put your face between them and you’re dead. Like fucking beautiful watermelons smacking you in the face when she’s on top.”
“Okay, we get the picture,” Miller said.
“I started sucking. Going at her left one. I couldn’t stop, man. I just kept sucking and biting.”
“Biting?” Trev asked.
“Yeah,” Blaine said. “I was waiting for something to happen.”
“Like what?” Miller asked. “Trying to make her come?”
“I guess you could say that.”
“So you bit her tit,” Trev said.
“But I couldn’t stop,” Blaine said. “I wanted… milk.”
The bar seemed to fall silent.
Jace dropped his pool stick. “Say that again.”
“Oh, fuck,” Miller groaned.
“Milk?” Trev asked. “Why the…”
“Are you kidding me?” Miller asked Blaine. “Because of Ella?”
Blaine frowned and nodded. “I can’t stop thinking about it, bro. That baby sucking on her. I don’t picture Ella, okay? But I just picture myself with a woman who…”
“Wait,” Trev said. “Tell me what the hell is going on.”
“He caught Ella feeding Beck,” Miller said. “He shouldn’t have seen anything but he did.”
“You’re a sick guy, Blaine,” Trev said. “Now you have a milk fantasy?”
“I don’t know,” Blaine snapped. “It’s just there.”
“Hey,” Trev said, leaning by Miller. “Be honest. How did it look? Were Ella’s tits super big and full?”
Blaine grinned.
Miller grabbed his gun and pointed it at Trev. “I’ll kill you. Nobody would miss you, brother.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” Trev said. “Kill me.”
“Enough tit talk,” Miller said.
Blaine laughed. Jace burst in laughter. Trev snorted.
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