Goddess: A Femme Domme Erotica Novel

by R. J. Castille

  Glancing at the clock, I realized I had very little time before my pet was supposed to arrive. I had better get busy.

  I decided to take a hot shower. It felt like that was the only thing that would cleanse me from my day. As I entered the bathroom and turned the water on to begin the process of heating up, I caught a peek of myself in the mirror. My hair had fallen from the place I had painstakingly pinned in place that morning. That would be why I never drive with my window down on the way to work. On the way home, I was not too concerned about my look being messed up, especially today. I could see the streaks left from the tears I had allowed to come late in the day. I was disappointed in myself for being so weak. Shaking my head, I looked away from my reflection and focused on preparing for my pet.

  The heat from the water coursing down my face and neck brought some reprieve. I was thankful that I had made it through the remainder of my day without losing it completely. I stood there for a while allowing the water to wash my cares down the drain. Once I felt more relaxed, I proceeded to use the hand-made lavender soap my mother had given me in my annual birthday gift basket to cleanse myself further. I observed the soap as it swirled around the drain and finally went down the hole to its final destination. I almost wished I could join it.

  When I exited the shower, I already felt better. I made my way to my bedroom where I would decide what outfit I should wear. I liked to dress up almost as much as I liked to play. The persona I took on each time made me feel that much more powerful. In my closet, hanging in categories were my play clothes. I decided to don a black leather corset with cutwork around the hips forming small flowers along the hem line. Lacing up the back, and buckling in the front, I found it easier to adjust it first, then buckle myself in. I slipped on a matching black garter belt and fish-net thigh high stockings. The final touch would be my platform, over-the-knee boots. Spike heels, of course. I pulled a drawer open to the right of my costumes and revealed two black masks. I preferred the one that had pretty rhinestones set along the swirling pattern on the outside of the mask. But today, I was feeling more aggressive, so I chose to wear the one with more of a classic cut and small, pyramid spikes set around the outside edge of the mask. I would wait to put the mask into place until just before 9:00.

  I returned to the bedroom and sat down at the wrought iron vanity on the far side of the room. Sitting down, I started brushing my long, red locks. I continued to brush until all the tangles were removed and only waves of crimson remained. Pulling my hair up into a ponytail at the top of my head, I fixed it into place with a leather hair tie decorated in a similar fashion to the mask. What can I say, I am a sucker for coordinated accessories.

  My thoughts wandered as I prepared for the evening’s events. My anger still lingered, but I was soon to have some relief. I pictured myself seated on a throne that was carved from dark, polished wood. This image instantly made me feel better. I was the ruler of this world and no one could take that away from me, not even Gordon Roth.

  When the doorbell buzzed it surprised me slightly. Had I really been in thought that long? I glanced at the clock on the table next to the bed. 9:00 on the nose. My pet was so very wonderful. He was eager to please, but not so eager as to show up early. He knew better. He came exactly as I had commanded, and that made me smile. Matthew was very young when I met him, a curious soul at a local Gothic Club that housed a BDSM area upstairs. I kept him at my side because he was dedicated and although I did not commit myself solely to him, he always behaved as though I had.

  Before exiting my room, I grabbed the mask off of the bed where I had left it until Matthew arrived. In the mirror gazing back at me was a beautiful creature that I knew he would desire. My hair was pulled back and fixed into place as to not get in my way. I hated that. But I loved my beautiful, long hair more so I refused to cut it, despite the annoyance of it overall. Carefully placing the mask over my eyes, I tied it in a bow in the back so I could remove it easily if I needed to. I made my way to the door, my heart fluttering in my chest in anticipation.

  I opened the door and caught a glimpse of my pet. He was as beautiful as always, even with his clothes on. The light from the hallway shining behind him made him appear to have a halo above his head.

  Smiling at him, I stepped aside and without a word, he entered my domain. The door clicked shut and I secured it with the deadbolt and security chain. You can never be too careful these days.

  Without a word, I turned him around and folded him into my arms. I could feel him stiffen. It was unusual for me to show him any affection like that but I was overwhelmed with joy to see him. His presence brought me back to a place where I was in control and no one else. No overbearing boss to scream ridiculous demands or sabotage my work. No co-workers to witness the cruelty Mr. Roth delighted in subjecting me to. I am Goddess here .

  Hesitantly, Matthew put his arms around me and held me in his embrace. It was clear that was what I needed at that moment and he always obliged. I had but to ask. Rather, I had but to demand, and my pet did everything I desired. We stayed that way for quite some time. I breathed in his scent deeply. The soothing scent of Patchouli filling my senses. I had to break free before he felt me sobbing as the tears began to fall. I could not allow Matthew to see my weakness. I turned my head away and pointed toward the bedroom. He entered the room looking back at me over his shoulder, concern etched across his brow.

  I guided him to the edge of the bed and patted the comforter with my hand signaling for him to be seated. With a puzzled look on his face, he obeyed. Before he started to reach up with his hands to place them behind his neck, I grasped his bicep with my hand and squeezed. I had to excuse myself for a moment to regain control over my emotions. Goddess doesn’t cry, and I certainly could not have one of my subjects see me do so.

  When I returned from the bathroom where I had escaped briefly to check myself, my pet was still seated on the edge of the bed. He glanced around the room where I had normally placed all of my instruments ceremoniously on the console table on the far side of the room. I had not done so this night, and that caused him to look at me curiously.

  “Goddess,” Matthew started slowly, choosing his words carefully, “are you alright?” An innocent question. He had only concern for my well-being at that moment. I had not followed my usual routine and that had him worried.

  “I am my pet. I had a very bad week and today was the worst. My boss was relentless in his demands and, although I worked diligently to comply, it was never enough,” I finished speaking and sighed out loud. It was hard for me to tell Matthew personal things, we usually got right down to business. Tonight however, I was not feeling myself, and by the look on his face, it was quite obvious to him.

  “What would you have me do to ease your suffering, my Goddess,” Matthew was always on point. His concern was for me and nothing more .

  “I would like to start with a drink,” Matthew looked at me surprised. I did not typically indulge in alcohol when I played, it was too easy to lose control. Master Jason always insisted that was top priority, maintaining control. Despite this, my pet lifted himself from my mattress and made his way into the kitchen. I sat motionless on the bed, the sound of ice cubes clinking into a glass carried from the other room. I concentrated on my breathing while I waited for him to return.

  “Goddess,” Matthew stated simply as he handed me a scotch glass with a gin and tonic. He always knew how to please me. Although there was no expectation of monogamy, Matthew had become my only slave since shortly after I found him. I had only experienced a handful of submissives since my initiation into the scene and found his mannerisms soothing and fulfilling, eliminating the desire or need for anyone else.

  “Thank you, my pet,” I wrapped my hand around the cool glass and lifted it to my lips. I took several long sips. I started to relax as I felt the alcohol course through my veins. A subtle high that made me feel much better. I swirled the glass around several times and watched as the ice cubes fought each other for space, b
obbing up and down in the clear liquid.

  I rose from the bed and went to the closet, setting the glass down on the console table as I did so. I decided to keep it simple. Grasping the handle of a long flog, I returned to find my pet waiting obediently in his place. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he immediately moved his hands to the back of his neck. That position was the one I preferred when displaying my pet. It gave me the greatest view of his physique.

  Tracing the muscles on his shoulders with my fingernails, I watched as his skin responded immediately, erupting in goose pimples across his back and neck. Breathing deeply, I nudged him forward with my hand so that he would lean toward the bed. Matthew started to look more relieved when I did this as he knew that I was coming back to my senses again. A faint smile played at the corner of my lips as he leaned forward and placed his forearms on the bed. He straightened his knees so that he was bent over the bed resting on his elbows.

  The first blow with the flogger landed perfectly centered across his round buttocks. Leather straps left their mark on his flesh in angry red. He sucked his breath in between clenched teeth. That sound was satisfying. My arm drew back and another strike found its mark. I drew the flogger back and down, purposefully dragging the knotted ends of each strap across his skin.

  Matthew groaned out loud. I looked down at him and he had buried his face into the soft comforter on the bed. With my free hand, I grasped a fistful of his hair and pulled his head up. His face withdrawn from the safety of the blanket, I could see his face contort into a mask of pain as I struck him several times in a row until he was breathing heavily in an attempt to maintain his composure.

  Letting go of Matthew’s hair, I made my way to the console table where my cooling beverage waited, beads of moisture finding their way down toward the leather top threatening to leave a permanent mark to remind me next time to use a coaster. I quickly grabbed the glass before more moisture could devalue the beautiful piece I had received as a gift from my beloved mentor, Master Jason some years ago. Taking two long drinks of the gin and tonic, I moved the glass to the end table next to the bed where it would be safer to leave it. My attention turned back to my pet.

  Matthew was still in his place. Bending over the bed, palms down. I could see a hint of concern in his face that I promptly ignored. I swayed slightly as I walked slowly back to the bed, I knew I shouldn’t have taken such a large drink. Shaking my head slightly, I chuckled as I swung the flogger over Matthew’s naked back, tickling him with the tips of the leather straps. The marks I had left were impressive and I chuckled to myself out loud. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, his peripheral vision a useful tool to see what was coming.

  I moved out of his sight and continued to trace the tips of the flogger across his back and down his buttocks. Already inflamed from my last onslaught, he flinched each time they dragged across the welts I had left there. Suddenly I swung up and brought the flogger down hard with a loud smacking sound. My thoughts wandered to earlier that day when a pompous Mr. Roth dared look me in the face and accuse me of being unworthy of his employment. I became enraged at this thought and swung again, harder this time. Vaguely I heard my pet’s muffled cries as my punishment continued.

  “Red, my Goddess, red! Please!” Matthew had been crying out the safe word for some time before I realized it. I was horrified to discover I was flogging him relentlessly despite his please for mercy. I stopped suddenly and Matthew collapsed onto the mattress, his shoulders heaving with his heavy breaths. He shuddered each time he drew air in and released it. I let the flog drop to the carpeted floor where it thudded and lay at my feet.

  “Oh my pet, I am so sorry,” I tried to console Matthew but was afraid to touch him yet. I knew his adrenaline would be flowing like mad and I did not want to agitate him further. Instead I reached out and stroked his hair, now wet with sweat. I could see marks on his cheeks where tears had made their way from his eyes, no doubt to his disappointment.

  Matthew said nothing for several minutes. He just lay there breathing in through his nose and slowly out through his mouth. I realized that some of the marks I had left on his back were bleeding causing my heart to jump into my throat. I had failed to protect my slave. I had punished him beyond his capacity and failed to stop when he indicated quite clearly to me that he could not handle any more. I had ignored the safe word! I looked down at him sadly and was prepared to hear the worst from him. That he never would see me again. That I had crossed the line and that I had failed him as his Goddess.

  Finally, after a virtual eternity of waiting, I saw Matthew’s eyes flutter open. I rushed to his side and brushed his hair from his eyes, smoothing it away from his forehead. His eyes displayed a pain that I could not deny. He was heartbroken that I would lose control, that I would actually hurt him. Disgusted with my own actions, I looked down at the comforter, now soiled with droplets of sweat and blood.

  Wincing as he slowly raised himself to a seated position, Matthew looked at me. He shook his head slowly in disbelief. I could tell he wanted to say something to me, but he refrained.

  “My pet, I am so sorry, I will never lose my control again. Please forgive me,” I paused, waiting for him to respond .

  “Goddess, I am yours, I always will be. Please do not have me come play in the future if you are angered to the point where you may lose control again. That is my humble request.” He was quite noble actually. Willing to forgive my impudence and to continue to be my pet.

  I helped Matthew up and carefully lowered him into the silk sheets that waited to soothe him. His agony was at my hand. This thought brought a stinging pain directly in the center of my chest. Where emotions burn and are felt outwardly as the heart breaks invisibly. I allowed him time to find comfort on his belly. He could not lay on the wounded canvas I had created out of his back. Multicolored passion misplaced on this willful soul.

  In order to help ease his discomfort, I retrieved some hemp seed oil from the bathroom. I rubbed the oil into the areas I could without further agitation. In light, circular motions, I applied thick layers of oil onto this skin from the middle of his back down to the backs of his thighs. He sighed. It sounded both of relief and comfort. That made me smile. I owed him that at the very least.

  As he lay there in the glowing lamplight, I watched him breathe. I decided to ask him to the Red Velvet Room tomorrow evening as an apology and a reassurance of my favor. He made a noise similar to a cat being stroked by their master when ran my fingers through his hair, taking care to rake my fingernails lightly on his scalp.

  “My pet,” I wanted him to go, he was the perfect trophy submissive. Perfect in every way. He opened his eyes and looked at me through the sides of his eyes, turning his head as far as his position would allow him.

  “Yes, my Goddess,” he looked at me with affection, with love in his eyes. Not the love of a husband and wife, rather, the love of a child and his mother. The trust in our relationship was tantamount to that. I was touched by the way he looked at me, just as a pang of guilt struck my belly and reminded me of my actions.

  “I wish for you to accompany me to an event tomorrow night,” his eyes lit up immediately as I continued. “My mentor, the one who introduced me to our world, wishes me to come to the grand opening of a club he now owns in the Hills. I would like you to come and put on your best showmanship. I know you are up to it. You are my most-favored one.” His eyes flashed for a moment when I said that. I was confused by what I had seen, but I would have perceived it as a jealous glare.

  “Goddess, nothing would please me more.” He returned.

  “We shall see,” I teased. I was famous for that one liner. In our world, I used it as a powerful slogan as to challenge my sub. It was their cue to give it their all for their Goddess, and I knew that I could definitely count on Matthew for that.

  As I drifted off to sleep next to my pet, I thought of why I had been so consumed with anger. A rage so blinding, I punished Matthew beyond reason. It had been the memory of
my week culminating in that fateful meeting with Mr. Roth this afternoon that had me seeing red. I sometimes found it difficult to remain in that world and wished that I could leap into the safety of the scene where I am in control and no one questions my judgement. I say jump, they say, how high?

  My mind continued to torture me with thoughts of Mr. Roth and his disdainful behavior. His self-serving degradation of my work for no other reason but to spark emotion in me. I was convinced he wanted nothing more than to see me cry. I put my arm around Matthew, his breathing comforted me and I was finally able to drift into a fitful sleep filled with dreams of domination.

  -10-

  Three bodies writhed under red silk. When the silk fluttered away, disappearing to the end of the large bed, I gasped. I was in the middle of two men. To my right, Matthew lay on his side facing me, his eyes fixed on mine. He reached out with his strong hands and slowly stroked his fingers along my neck toward my pale breasts. The large, rose-colored nipples contrasting against my skin. He rubbed my nipples with his thumbs in a circular motion causing a rush of warmth in my groin. I moaned and rolled my head to the side to see who the other man was.

  I was confronted with the face of Gordon Roth. His bald head gleamed in the candlelight. Before I could protest, he reached forward and spread my legs with his hand, stroking my clitoris with his fingers as he did so. I was helpless to resist. I had no control over my limbs, yet I was screaming inside. Horrified that Mr. Roth was touching me at all, let alone in my most intimate places .

  I gathered my strength and sat up between the two naked bodies. I reached toward the edge of the bed, where I somehow knew it would be, and retrieved a long-handled crop. I had never seen it before but it was most ornate. The handle carved out of dark wood and sanded to shine, curled around a gem housed in a golden setting with the letter “G” centered over a red stone. The handle felt balanced perfectly in my hand. I stood up at the side of the bed and faced the two men. I raised my arm and brought the crop down hard on the red silk, causing a sharp stinging sound. Both men promptly fell in line.