The Nipple Yearbook was discovered and confiscated by one of the boys’ dorm teachers. Linden Houghtling blabbed the minute he got caught and the whole Nipple Brigade was given study hall for the first month after Christmas break, which hardly seemed fair given what I’d suffered at the hands of Bleaker. All the kids knew that no one was as much of a hard ass as Bleaker and it bestowed on me an infamous status, not only to have withstood her punishment, but to have exacted some sort of revenge on behalf of all of us.
The mattress room key was never found and I heard that some kids started using the room again by going through the window well. I never went down there, and as far as I knew Wes never did either. Over the summer, the trees that Bleaker had pruned to the nub were dug up and replaced with some really pretty crape myrtles that did not lend themselves to climbing.
Tim Payton wasn’t the only boy from Foxhall who was sent to Vietnam. Stocky went as an Army draftee. He got a Purple Heart for being wounded while saving five of his platoon that were trapped in a swamp. When he got back, he called every girl he had ever known looking for someone who would have sex with him, including me. Daria told me he’d become a trial lawyer in Denver.
Wes and I dated the rest of my sophomore year, and then he graduated and went off to Stanford. He registered for the draft and, at the physical, they discovered a problem with one of his heart valves. It kept him out of the service but, since it couldn’t be fixed, it eventually made him a semi-invalid.
Jan was diagnosed with a very aggressive breast cancer and died in her mid-thirties. Faith went to medical school and became a child psychiatrist. Brady, who’d always been what they used to call a free spirit, a euphemism for sleeping around, became a nurse and also went to Vietnam where she oversaw a MASH unit nursing staff. When the war was over, she took on the job of director of nursing at a VA hospital where she managed the nurses looking after the boys who came back from war.
After Daria and I parted on that morning in San Francisco, I thought a lot about what happened back then and where I ended up. It was true that I was happy with my life. I wondered, off and on, what happened to Moll. Daria said she kept in touch with some of the others on social media. She was hoping to start a new job working for a photographer who did a lot of fashion and travel work. She visited Tim’s grave once a year to lay flowers on it and tell him she misses him still. I hoped Moll found acceptance wherever she landed. I hoped she learned to accept herself. Maybe I would find out one day.
Forgiveness takes a whole piñata of mental twists and turns. I forgave my mother a long time ago. I forgave Miss Bleaker. I forgave Daria, but I’m still not sure for what. Now I think I can finally forgive myself for what happened to Moll. I’ll never see her again and I’ll never see Daria again. But we carry with us the composite of all the relationships we’ve ever had. We can no more rid ourselves of them than we can harness the glow of the moon. If it’s true that the spirit is within each of us, maybe God resides in all the bits and pieces of others that we’ve incorporated into ourselves.
Reader and Book Club Discussion Guide
1. At age fifteen, Susannah Greenwood arrives for her first semester at a Quaker prep school and says at the end of the prologue that she is “both happy and unhappy to be there.” Why do you think she is both happy and unhappy? Discuss how—and under what circumstances—it is possible to feel two opposing emotions at the same time.
2. Throughout the book, Greenwood questions, and even flaunts, authority. What do you think the connection is between her unwillingness to obey authority and her experiences with her own mother at home? Discuss how and why some people seem to need a strong authority telling them exactly where the boundaries are, while others demand freedom to decide for themselves what course to follow? What are some examples of this in the book and beyond?
3. Greenwood’s need to feel accepted at her new prep school leads her into direct conflict with the school’s rules and the strict dean of girls and, at the same time, puts her at risk of severe punishments, even expulsion. Was she justified in choosing acceptance over compliance? What do you see in adults where the same struggle may be played out?
4. Greenwood’s conflict between loyalty and responsibility leads to stark consequences. Do you think she did the right thing by not divulging where Moll went? Who was at fault when Moll disappeared? Do you think Greenwood should have been more attentive to what was going on around her the night of the dance?
5. Moll insists that Greenwood keep her secret. How do secrets lead to dire consequences? What other kinds of secrets do you find people keeping and what are the consequences for them and others? Should Greenwood have helped Moll stay away from the school? What would you have done?
6. One of the themes underlying the story is faith as practiced by Quakers. Discuss the roles of organized religion vs. individual faith vs. moral conviction. When do they diverge and how are they different or the same?
Acknowledgments
When I first began writing seriously, I was naïve enough to wonder about all those writers whose books opened with a page or more of thanks to dozens of people for help in making their books a reality. After all, I reasoned, one of the elements of writing I most prized was that you could accomplish it all alone, without having to rely on anyone else. What I failed to understand was that it would take many years of help from others before my writing felt accomplished, professional, or cogent. That help came from writers who taught and writers who became friends.
So I thank them all, beginning with Fred Leebron whose writing workshops and critiques were invaluable both for his lessons on fiction writing in general and his insights into my own works-in-progress. His book, Creating Fiction A Writer’s Companion http://amzn.to/2lbldcd, is an invaluable resource.
Next, thanks to Sue Levine and Lary Bloom, who I met in Praiano, Italy, for the first time where I absorbed their wisdom and extensive comments on this book in particular. Their later critical suggestions provided enormous help in shaping the finished work.
Finally, I thank Wally Lamb, for his generous spirit and decades of teaching the craft of writing. He is both a mentor and a model for using writing as a tool for growth and redemption.
To the writers whose paths I’ve crossed over the years— Kim Wiley, Karen Cantwell, Dawn Clifton Tripp, Allison Smith, Priscilla Cutler Bourgoine, Eileen Dougharty, Emily Miranda, Nicky Wheeler Nicholson, Catherine Michele Adams, Dorette Snover, Jane Wells, Malcolm Campbell, Michael Neff—thank you for all the readings, musings, suggestions, corrections, and encouragement.
I thank Brooke, Lauren, Julie, Crystal, Morgan, and all the She Writers.
Of course my husband and daughters, who always encourage the very best I can give, to them I blow kisses of gratitude.
About the Author
LB GSCHWANDTNER is the author of four adult novels, one middle grade novel, and one collection of quirky short stories. She has attended numerous fiction writing workshops—the Iowa Writers Workshop and others—and studied with Wally Lamb, Lary Bloom, and Suzanne Levine in Praiano, Italy and Fred Leebron and Bob Bausch in the US. She has won writing awards, Writers Digest and Lorian Hemingway fiction competitions, and been published in literary digests and magazines. She lives on a tidal creek in Virginia with her husband of forty-five years, with whom she cofounded the multimedia company Selling Power Inc. LB has been the editor of Selling Power magazine for more than thirty years. She and her husband have three adult daughters and two grandchildren.
Books by LB Gschwandtner
The Naked Gardener
http://amzn.to/2kCrW06
Artist Katelyn Cross loves Greg Mazur and he loves her. He wants to be married but a previous relationship that went sour has made Katelyn overly cautious about any permanent commitment. And what about Greg’s first wife? He lost her to cancer and Katelyn worries that he’s only looking for a replacement. What’s a girl to do? Canoe down a river with five gal pals, camp out, catch fish, talk about life and men.
Shelly�
��s Second Chance
http://amzn.to/2kCjUnM
Shelly Wagner is in trouble but her fiancé, Ben, doesn’t know it. Broke and ready to gamble her last dollar on a Super Lotto ticket, she really needs some help. It arrives in the form of Joe and Alanna—Wish Granters from another world. One problem: it’s their very first assignment and they’re fairly clueless about their new wish granting powers and how to best use them. Plus they have a few things to work out in their own lives—if only they were still among the living. They want to return to earth, but can only get back by helping Shelly first.
Carla’s Secret
http://amzn.to/2mcLYdK
A long time ago, something terrible happened to Carla Patterson. She locked that terrible thing away in a secret place and moved on with her life. Now the Wish Granters mysteriously arrive, offering her one wish that could change her life . . . or leave her brokenhearted. Will Carla wish for a new beginning, or turn the Wish Granters away and deny the love she might have had?
Page Truly and The Journey to Nearandfar
A Middle Grade Novel
http://amzn.to/2kXr8Py
What if . . . a girl and her tooth fairy flew away to the realm called Nearandfar and the girl discovered she had more power than the fairies?
Page Truly is on a mission. It won’t be easy. There will be danger. Page will have to be very brave and very smart.
It all happens one night when a sassy tooth fairy brings a borrowed wand and a big attitude to Page’s bedroom. She makes it look like a wand can do anything. That is until Page has to save Nearandfar, and discovers that a magic wand is only as powerful as the gifted one who knows how to unlock its secrets and use it wisely.
Maybelle’s Revenge
http://amzn.to/2kXMiNm
A short story collection with an edge. Paranormal events, vengeful attacks, payback for past pain, and lots of other quirky tidbits are the stuff of this collection, including a love-stricken parrot and a town that takes on an electric glow. It’s all in here but, to start, there’s Maybelle’s Revenge. And she is out to get some payback.
Foxy’s Tale (with Karen Cantwell)
http://amzn.to/2kCxHLd
Former beauty queen Foxy Anders has fallen on hard times.
Her new tenant, mysterious, bumbling Myron Standlish carries wads of cash and hoards vials of blood. Her new assistant, Knot Knudsen, loves shoes and conservative politicians, but man can he sell Foxy’s antiques. Amanda, Foxy’s teenage daughter, thinks they’re all crazy. But, when she hooks up with Nick, a cute guy at school, she’s in for some crazy of her own. Ultimately, they’re all in for some romance with a dash of suspense and a sprinkle of supernatural. And laughs . . . as an added bonus.
SELECTED TITLES FROM SHE WRITES PRESS
She Writes Press is an independent publishing company founded to serve women writers everywhere. Visit us at www.shewritespress.com.
How to Grow an Addict by J.A. Wright. $16.95, 978-1-63152-991-7. Raised by an abusive father, a detached mother, and a loving aunt and uncle, Randall Grange is built for addiction. By twenty-three, she knows that together, pills and booze have the power to cure just about any problem she could possibly have . . . right?
Magic Flute by Patricia Minger. $16.95, 978-1-63152-093-8. When a car accident puts an end to ambitious flutist Liz Morgan’s dreams, she returns to her childhood hometown in Wales in an effort to reinvent her path.
Cleans Up Nicely by Linda Dahl. $16.95, 978-1-938314-38-4. The story of one gifted young woman’s path from self-destruction to self-knowledge, set in mid-1970s Manhattan.
In a Silent Way by Mary Jo Hetzel. $16.95, 978-1-63152-135-5. When Jeanna Kendall—a young white teacher at a progressive urban school—becomes involved with a community activist group, she finds herself grappling with issues of racism, sexism, and oppression of various shades in both her professional and personal life.
Keep Her by Leora Krygier. $16.95, 978-1-63152-143-0. When a water main bursts in rain-starved Los Angeles, seventeen-year-old artist Maddie and filmmaker Aiden’s worlds collide in a whirlpool of love and loss. Is it meant to be?
Beautiful Garbage by Jill DiDonato. $16.95, 978-1-938314-01-8. Talented but troubled young artist Jodi Plum leaves suburbia for the excitement of the city—and is soon swept up in the sexual politics and downtown art scene of 1980s New York.
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