He stared down at her. She seemed different now though. The air thickened between them. Her eyes were huge in her pale face, and it took all his restraint not to lower his lips to hers, just to see how she would react.
He dropped his hands from her shoulders and stepped around her. “This will be just fine. I’ll see you in the morning.” Stopping at the door, he waited until she exited, then closed it before he lost his last bit of self-control.
Elin wrapped her wet hair atop her head and secured it with a clip. Swathed in a white terry robe, she stared at herself in the mirror. Who was she? The heart that pumped under her ribs was changing her, forming her into someone she didn’t know anymore. Fear suffocated her daily, and though she’d struggled to push it aside, it still bubbled up every time she caught a glimpse of herself.
In her mind’s eye, she had short dark hair, not long red hair. When she looked in the mirror, she expected to see dark brown eyes, not the aqua ones staring back at her. She swayed, suddenly dizzy, then sat on the toilet lid and closed her eyes. Her throat tightened, and she could feel something against her windpipe as he squeezed the life from her. His face was blurry, so blurry, but his hair was blond. And that cloyingly strong cologne he wore added to her lack of air.
“Look at me.”
Had he really said that to Laura as she died, or was Elin jumbling it all up? She rubbed her throbbing head. She wasn’t Laura, she was Elin. She loved oldies, not country music. Her favorite color was tan, not green. She liked chocolate, not caramel.
“Mommy?”
She opened her eyes and smiled at Josie, who stood in the doorway. “You’re still in your nightgown. Get your bathing suit on, and we’ll go swimming today.”
“There’s a man in the kitchen. Mr. Marc. He’s cooking breakfast.” Confusion filled Josie’s hazel eyes.
“He’s going to be staying here awhile.”
And he’s going to want to tell Josie he is her father.
She didn’t know how long she could stall him. The thought of telling Josie made her shudder. She was too young to really understand, but she would still ask why she’d never seen him before they came here. She would ask questions.
Elin was beginning to question the wisdom of involving Marc in her life like this. She hadn’t known whom to turn to, and he’d always seemed so strong. Strong in character, strong in faith, and strong in courage. She hadn’t stopped to think of the complications involving him would bring. Had he been about to kiss her last night? She would have let him, and she didn’t know where that urge came from. Maybe it was just the longing to feel a man’s arms around her. Widowhood was lonely.
Josie tugged on her arm. “Come see, Mommy.”
She let Josie pull her out of the room and down the stairs. The aroma of bacon made her tummy rumble, and she realized how hungry she was. When they reached the kitchen, Marc turned with a spatula in his hand. His gaze warmed when he saw her, and she realized she was still in her robe with her hair piled atop her head.
“You’re quite domestic.” She winced at the banality of her comment. “I mean, thanks for cooking breakfast. Josie was very excited about it. She usually gets a boiled egg and a bagel.”
“Every growing girl needs bacon.” He turned back to the stove. “Nice kitchen, by the way. All stainless, granite. Someone spent some money in here.”
“I have found myself enjoying cooking here even though I always thought I wasn’t much of a cook.” She released Josie’s hand, then opened the cupboard and took down blue-and-white plates. “Is coffee on?”
He nodded. “It’s ready.”
Josie helped her set the table, and Marc carried a bowl of scrambled eggs and a plate of bacon to the table. He pulled out a chair at the head of the table, the place where Elin usually sat.
She turned toward the doorway. “I’ll get Mom.”
“She went for a walk on the beach.”
“What? You let her go by herself?” She sprang for the door.
He grabbed her arm. “You can’t smother her, Elin. Where’s she going to go? This point is pretty self-contained. She can’t wander far. Besides, she was very bright this morning.”
“Her mental state can change in an instant.” She yanked her arm out of his grip. “She could drown, or she could wander in the woods and get lost. We haven’t lived here very long, and she might not remember how to get back. And I’m not smothering her. I’m just concerned for her safety.”
He frowned. “Suit yourself.”
She started for the door again, but it opened and her mother stepped into the kitchen. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes bright with excitement.
“Mom, I was about to go looking for you.” Elin bit her lip when her mother frowned. “I mean, it’s time for breakfast.”
Her mother’s expression cleared, and she stepped to the sink to wash her hands. “I worked up quite an appetite. And I saw a whale blowing off the point. It was quite an exciting morning. I wished you were with me.”
“I’d like to have seen that. I’m sure Josie would have been excited too.”
Her mother came to the table and sat in the chair across from Marc’s. “Maybe it will still be there after breakfast.”
Elin pressed her lips together and sat down. Marc was already causing total upheaval in the household.
TWELVE
Sara strained to hear over the roar of the helicopter as she leaned out the window at the boat in distress below them. “They’re taking on water fast.” Her medical-supply kit was fully stocked and ready.
In the cockpit, Josh nodded and maneuvered the craft lower until the powerful winds off the rotors kicked the waves even higher. On the boat deck below, Alec waved to let them know he’d arrived. He unclipped himself and motioned to the three men on the boat.
Sara frowned when one of them tossed two boxes overboard before rushing to where Alec was preparing to airlift them. Could this be a drug boat?
She spoke into the mic in her helmet. “Josh, did you see that guy throw something overboard? Looked like a couple of crates. Might be drugs.”
“I noticed and sent a message to headquarters. A cutter is nearly here anyway, and they’ll see if they can retrieve it.”
He’d been impersonal and remote with her for two weeks. No flirting, no joking around. Even Curtis had noticed and tried to pry out any problems. One thing about Josh, he kept his real thoughts to himself. It was a good thing she’d given up. Nothing would ever get through that thick skull of his.
The Coast Guard cutter came into view below and zoomed toward the sinking boat. When the three men aboard saw the vessel, one of them dove overboard and started swimming for shore. Seagrass Pier was barely visible in the distance, but the swimmer struck out for it.
“One’s escaping!” She pointed out the dark head, barely visible in the waves.
“They see him. No one is in danger, and my engine is cutting out. I’m radioing Alec to ride back on the cutter. Something is wrong with this thing.”
She nodded and sat back in her seat. Curtis exchanged a commiserating glance with her. It took only ten minutes to get back to the airfield. She yanked off her helmet and hopped out of the chopper. Let him be alone the rest of his life. She stalked toward the building to change out of her flight suit and head for home, but Josh called her name.
He jogged toward her. “Sara, wait up. Want to go get coffee?”
She put her hands on her hips as he neared. “What is with you, Josh?” When he blinked, she remembered Elin’s advice and took a step closer, then jabbed her forefinger in his chest. “It’s no secret how I feel about you. I’ve been in love with you for two years. One minute you flirt with me, and the next you act like we’re strangers. I’m sick of the way you blow hot and cold. If you want to be with me, then say so. If not, I’m moving on. I’m not wasting my life waiting on you to make up your mind.”
His blue eyes widened, and his smile faded. Nothing like drawing a line in the sand. Was she ready for him to totally walk away
? She tipped her chin up and stared him down.
He took a step back. “Where is this hostility coming from? I thought we were friends.”
“Friends. Is that what you call our relationship? Do you flirt with friends?”
His strong jaw flexed. “You know I care about you, Sara. We’re good friends.”
“Fine, if that’s how you feel.” She turned to go.
He caught her by the forearm. “Don’t be like that.”
“You mean don’t expect anything to change? Don’t expect you to finally tell me how you feel? Don’t put any demands on you? What is broken in you, Josh? It’s perfectly normal for a woman to want a man to show her how he feels. Most people want commitment and a love that will last.”
“Love never lasts. I don’t know anyone who has a perfect marriage.”
“Marriage or any other kind of relationship takes hard work. Of course there are ups and downs. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it or that you’re better off staying alone. Is that what you want? To die alone and unloved? Never to feel your child’s arms around your neck or to wake up next to someone you love every morning? I don’t want that kind of aimless existence.”
He stared down at her with what looked like longing. “What makes you so sure that kind of thing is worth the risk? What if you roll over and hate the face next to you one morning? What about regrets?”
She wished he’d open up and tell her where all these fears came from. His parents had a nasty, contentious divorce, but surely it was more than that. “The only thing I would regret is if I had a chance at happiness and threw it away. Some things are gone for good once the opportunity passes. You can’t go back.”
“What are you trying to say, Sara?” His voice was quiet.
At least he wasn’t angry. She took a step closer. “I’ve always believed we could have something special, something that would last a lifetime. I think you believe it too, but you’ve been afraid. Now is the time to make a move.”
Should she tell him she had a date? Would it push him the other way or make him realize he was about to lose her?
“What if things don’t work out? What if our friendship is ruined by trying to bring romance into it? Don’t those things worry you at all?”
“Life is always a gamble. The best things are worth fighting for. I think you’re worth fighting for. I hope you feel the same about me. Do you love me, Josh?”
She held her breath after her question. Where was all this boldness coming from?
Something flickered in his eyes, a tamped-down passion she’d glimpsed a time or two over the past two years, and joy bubbled up.
She touched his face. “Say it.”
His throat worked. “I-I care about you, Sara. You know that.” He backed away, and her hand fell to her side. “I’d better get back to work.”
Her elation deflated, and she watched him retreat. It was over.
“So what have you found out so far in the diaries?” Marc adjusted a cushion and leaned back on the sofa.
He’d been here two days now, and he already seemed like a fixture in the house. Her mother catered to him, and Josie was never far from his leg. In shorts with his feet bare and his brown hair tousled from an ocean swim, he was entirely too male and too handsome for Elin’s peace of mind. She didn’t want this pull of attraction.
She averted her gaze and picked up the diary. “She was quite an adventurer. Have you ever heard of Isabella Bird?”
“Sure. A Victorian lady who traveled to the outer reaches of the world—Japan, Hawaii, Tibet. She was a naturalist, I think.”
Elin tucked her feet under her and opened the leather-bound book. “Georgina was like that. She traveled with her father who went out looking for exotic species of orchids and other plants for Victorian gardens. His specialties came from Cambodia, a place she loved. So she didn’t take to the conventions of married life. She wasn’t used to being told what to do by a man.”
“Sounds like a spitfire.”
“I like her. I’ve just gotten to the part where one of her friends from Cambodia has come to see her.”
APRIL 24, 1907
Chann hung back until Georgina rushed to hug him. He looked so different without his conical hat and his krama, a scarf the Khmer people used for everything from carrying babies to protection from the sun. About thirty, Chann was tall for a Cambodian with shiny dark hair and a ready smile that warmed her from the inside out. His gray suit fit him perfectly.
She flung her arms around him. “I wasn’t expecting you until next week.” He held himself stiffly, and she realized she’d embarrassed him. Stepping back hastily, she gestured for him to follow her to the parlor.
“Please be seated. I’ll ring for tea. Joshua should be home soon.” She quaked a bit at the thought of his reaction. He’d been quite upset when she told him Chann would be stopping by for a visit. It was only by threatening to leave herself that she got his agreement to let her friend stay.
Her husband’s jealousy was growing old.
Chann didn’t smile. “I can only stay a moment. I’ve been followed.”
She studied his face after his surprising announcement. That explained his somber appearance. “By whom?”
Instead of answering, he rummaged in his valise and withdrew a folder. The handsome leather tooling depicted a Cambodian couple in traditional dress. “Can you keep this for me?” His fingers stroked the leather as if it contained something very dear to him.
“Of course.” She didn’t ask what it was. It was none of her business.
“Tell no one you have it, Miss Georgina. Not even your husband. Hide it somewhere safe. I’ll be back for it when I can.” His voice was a whisper, and he glanced through the open window behind her before thrusting the leather folder into her hands.
“Are you in danger, Chann? What can I do to help?”
He held her gaze. “Nothing and no one can help me. I must help myself.”
She looked down at the pouch. “What’s in it?”
“It is best if you do not know, Miss Georgina. Keep it well hidden. As far as you know, I came for a short visit, nothing more.”
Before she could ask any more questions, she heard Joshua’s heavy tread on the porch. Without stopping to think, she flew to the door and down the hall to the kitchen, then up the back stairway. Luckily no one was in the kitchen. She had the leather pouch tucked into her skirts in case she ran into one of the servants.
The stairs to the third floor stood open, so she rushed up them and looked around wildly for a place to stash the leather folder. There. She tucked it away, then returned downstairs. The coast was still clear, so she ducked into her room and smoothed her hair while she waited for her high color to subside. When she heard Joshua’s unmistakable footsteps in the hall, she sat on the edge of the bed and pasted on a smile.
He rapped at the door, then opened it. “Georgina, are you all right? You have a guest in the parlor.” His grim tone told of his displeasure.
“I’m being a terrible hostess, but I needed a moment.” She fanned herself, and his frown eased. “I knew you would be along soon to make him welcome.”
“Of course, of course. And quite right that you should wait for me. We don’t want any wagging tongues.” He held out his hand. “I told your friend I’d fetch you.”
She put her hand on his arm and rose. “Thank you.”
He stared down at her as if trying to see into her thoughts. “Did you know he was coming today?”
“I did not. The last word I had was he would arrive next week. I was surprised to hear he had arrived.”
“I quite dislike how free you are with other men, Georgina. You must behave more decorously. Men can get the wrong idea.”
How quickly he had discontinued the use of his pet names for her. They’d been here nearly three months, yet his high standards had become more exacting and his disapproval harder to bear. What had he ever seen in her? She hadn’t changed, but his view of her had soured.
&nbs
p; “Chann is my friend, Joshua. He’s like a brother to me, but nothing more. If I had wanted to marry him, I would have. Father would not have prevented me.”
His lips twisted. “Your father gave you too much license.”
She wanted to fly to her father’s defense, but she pressed her lips together and turned toward the door. Nothing she could say would change her husband’s mind.
Elin closed the book. “Can’t you just picture her life here? And what an exotic existence she lived before coming here. I would like to travel like that, see strange and wonderful places.”
“Sounds like her husband was a jerk.”
She couldn’t think with his gaze on her. “It was a different time back then. I think she would have fit in this era much better.”
“And you would have fit there.”
She frowned, unsure how to take his comment. “Are you saying I’m timid and easily manipulated?”
“You like to keep the peace whatever the cost.” His gaze sharpened. “Though maybe not so much anymore. The old Elin wouldn’t be searching for the murderer so tenaciously. She would have tried to block out the problem by suggesting the killer just get along before she went back to following all the rules and being the perfect daughter.”
She should have been offended, but a bubble of laughter in her throat surprised her. And Marc too from his expression. “Was I really that bad?”
He grinned. “Only worse. You seem different now. I think losing your dad made you grow up some.”
“It did.” That was a better answer than saying getting a new heart had changed her.
Marc found himself watching Elin over the next couple of days as he looked online for clues and made calls in his covert investigation. The gentle care she showed her mother and Josie touched him and made him watch her even more. She laughed more, in spite of the circumstances, and didn’t obsess about the small things.
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