“Quiet time,” Gracie said. “I used to need a lotta quiet time when I was little, huh, Mamma? When I needed to settle down and stop talkin’ coz Dat was mad at me.”
Rose considered this. While it was true that Nathan hadn’t always known how to tolerate Gracie’s tendency to chatter and tease him, he’d never remained angry with her. Truth be told, Nathan had had such a soft spot for Gracie that he’d sometimes distanced himself from her so he wouldn’t let her get away with too much.
“Your dat loved you so much,” Rose insisted, whispering directly into Gracie’s ear. “He’s looking down at you from Heaven, seeing what a big girl you’re getting to be, too. He knows you don’t need quiet time nearly as often now.”
Gracie considered this pensively. “Will Dat be mad because I like Matthias? And because you like him?”
Rose blinked. Sometimes the connections her daughter made amazed her. “Your dat wants us both to be happy, sweet pea. He knows you’ll need another dat as you grow up, because he knows how important it is to have a family—if not with Matthias, with another man someday.”
Gracie gripped the hose, glancing up at Rose. “Does Matthias wanna be in a family with us, you think?”
Rose smiled. The yearning on Gracie’s precious face reminded her how much she, too, admired Matthias Wagler. It was too soon to be drawing conclusions, though. “It’ll take us some time to figure that out,” she replied. Glancing at the water level in the trough, Rose released Gracie and stood up straight. “It’s another one of those things for adults to decide, but we know you have feelings, too.”
Rose turned off the faucet at the wall. She had a flash image of the future, when Anne and Martha Maude visited the Morning Star Senior Center again, and Gracie rushed across the lobby to greet them. She shut out the daydream, returning to the reality of Gracie and the way she was gazing out the stable door. In the excitement of seeing those women again, would her little girl blurt out what she knew about Rose being Anne’s daughter?
“Somebody’s comin’, Mamma,” Gracie said with a big smile. “I gotta go see who it is!”
As her daughter scampered off, Rose glanced at the filthy floor of Daisy’s stall. The manure and dirty straw would remain there all week because she hadn’t had time to muck it out—a job that was inappropriate on Sunday. When Rose reached the door and saw the couple getting out of the rig, her heart stilled. Bishop Vernon and Jerusalem were both exclaiming over Gracie, delighted to see her.
Will they be happy to hear my big news? Rose wondered as she walked across the weedy, uneven lawn. She had a feeling that the bishop was here for more than a Sunday visit—and that Gracie was already telling them where she’d spent her days this past week—so there would be no concealing the fact that Rose had defied Vernon’s wishes and done things her own way.
Rose returned Jerusalem’s wave, noting how the bishop’s wife took Gracie’s hand as the two of them headed toward the garden—which left Vernon free to speak with Rose alone. The white-haired bishop smiled kindly at her as he crossed the yard, his hands clasped behind his back. “It’s gut to see you looking well, Rose,” he said as he stopped in front of her. “I came by a few times this week to see how you and Gracie were doing, but you weren’t home.”
His tone was cordial, but when Vernon’s baby blue eyes twinkled, Rose wondered if he already knew where she’d been. “I found a gut job and started working this week,” she admitted. “I’m cooking at the senior center in Morning Star, and Gracie goes with me. They call her their resident ray of sunshine. She even has a little school desk in the corner of the kitchen.”
Vernon’s brows rose. “That didn’t take long. How did the director there know you were looking for work?”
Again, Rose sensed no traps in the bishop’s question, merely curiosity. “I, um, posted index cards on some of the bulletin boards in the area,” she replied. “I was really surprised when Sherrie—the director—called me so quickly. It’s a wonderful place to work, Vernon! Sherrie was concerned about us making the drive twice every day, so she offered us an apartment there,” she added happily. “We’ll be going in on Mondays and coming back home Friday afternoons.”
“I’m relieved to hear you’ll not be making that drive twice a day,” Vernon said with a nod. “English drivers seem to take more daredevil chances on the county highways these days, thinking they won’t get caught.” He glanced around the yard, and then watched Jerusalem pushing Gracie in the swing, which hung from the old maple tree near the house. “I have to wonder, however, if you’ll be able to keep this place up—”
“Jah, the grass is getting long and a lot of fixing needs to be done,” Rose agreed. “But I can’t do the repairs myself—and I can’t afford to pay for that work. And now that I can stay in town, I’ve given some thought to selling the place.”
Vernon’s eyes widened. “That’s an awfully big step to take this soon, Rose.”
Rose shrugged. “The way I see it, I have a lot of big steps to take now that I’m on my own,” she murmured. “I know what you said about me working, Bishop, but I believe the Lord helps those who help themselves.” She glanced across the yard, to be sure Gracie was still flying high in the swing. “I had another surprise this week, when my birth mother, Anne Hartzler, came to the senior center with her mother-in-law. She didn’t know who I was, but I certainly recognized her.”
Vernon’s bushy eyebrows rose. “Oh, my. I know how you yearn to reconnect with her, Rose, but I still believe it’s best not to intrude upon her marriage—her family.”
“Matthias says the same thing. Saul Hartzler has just taken him on as a full partner in his carriage shop,” Rose said. “He says Saul’s not a man who’ll tolerate news of a baby Anne had before she married him . . . especially because they have no children.”
The bishop exhaled loudly. “My word, what a week you’ve had! Matthias has partnered with Hartzler Carriage Company—which is no small undertaking—and you’ve come face-to-face with Anne at your new job.”
“You know the Hartzlers, don’t you, Bishop?”
Vernon’s mouth opened and then shut again. “Fair enough. I’ve had some dealings with Saul, as he’s the deacon in the Morning Star district, where my gut friend Jeremiah Shetler is the bishop,” he replied. “Matthias’s impression of Saul runs along the same lines as my own—so if you won’t heed my warning, I hope you’ll respect Matthias’s opinion. Sounds like he might have a lot at stake.”
“Jah, so he’s told me,” Rose said softly. “I can see that it’s best if I don’t introduce myself to Anne, but the challenge will be to keep Gracie from spilling the beans. Saul’s mamm, Martha Maude, took to Gracie right away . . . and Gracie overheard Matthias and me talking about Anne being my mother.”
“Gracie’s an easy girl to love,” Vernon pointed out as he watched his wife pushing the little girl in the swing. “She might blurt out what she knows next time she sees Anne, just because she’s excited.”
“That’s what I’m thinking.” Rose sighed. “What do you think I should do, Vernon? I’ve been over this again and again in my mind, in my prayers. But I can’t anticipate what might happen—or when.”
When Vernon closed his eyes and lifted his face to the sunshine, Rose remained quiet. After a few moments, he focused his blue eyes on her. “I know of bishops who would chastise you for going against their wishes by finding work—and they would point out that if you’d not taken the job in Morning Star, you wouldn’t have met up with your mother,” he said gently. “But I understand your motivation, and you’re able to keep Gracie with you, so it serves no purpose to shake my proverbial finger at you.”
Rose smiled, feeling as though Vernon had blessed her with his benediction.
“And it wasn’t as though you went looking for your mother,” he added gently. “I advise you to keep asking God what He’s got in mind for this situation. Keep Gracie close when you’re working. Perhaps if you see Anne coming into the center, you can have a place in mind
to take Gracie—”
“That would be easier if she wasn’t already crazy about Anne and Martha Maude,” Rose mused aloud. “And Gracie usually sees people coming much sooner than I do. It’s a knack she has.”
Vernon chuckled, squeezing her shoulder. “Gracie’s a busy bee, interested in everything that goes on around her,” he agreed. “We believe all things work to the gut for them that love God, but it can’t hurt to pray that He’s watching over all of you closely, so this situation won’t backfire.”
Rose nodded. Her smile brightened as she watched her daughter hop from the swing and run toward her.
“It would be one thing for Gracie to tell Anne who you are,” Vernon continued in a faraway voice, “but if Saul somehow finds out about you, the consequences will be far-reaching. Not a one of you who’s involved will emerge unscathed, I fear. Even Gracie might bear the brunt of Saul’s anger—ah, but here she comes.”
“I saw you flying high on that swing, young lady!” Rose called out as she opened her arms. It was sweet relief to catch her excited daughter, to hear Gracie’s giggle as she wrapped her arms around Rose’s neck.
“’Rusalem’s a gut pusher! We was havin’ fun, Mamma!”
Bussing Gracie’s downy cheek, Rose was aware that fun had been scarce in their lives lately—and she was glad Bishop Vernon would deliver no more of his dire warnings about the Hartzler family. “I bet you and Jerusalem worked up an appetite,” she said as she smiled at the steely-haired woman, who was joining them. “Shall we go inside for coffee and milk—”
“And more of that ’nana bread with the blueberries, Mamma!” Gracie insisted with a big smile.
“Oh, but that sounds tasty,” Jerusalem said, tweaking Gracie’s nose. “And I get the piece with the most blueberries.”
“Nuh-uh!” Gracie squealed with laughter when Vernon tugged lightly on her earlobe.
“I’m the oldest and the biggest,” the bishop joined in as the four of them headed toward the house, “so that means I get the biggest piece of banana bread and the most blueberries. By the time I taste all the pieces to figure out which piece has the most berries, the rest of you might not get any at all!”
Rose smiled and hugged her daughter close. Her life would be a lot easier if the toughest issue she faced was deciding who, indeed, got the most impressive piece of blueberry-banana bread.
Chapter 22
Rose got off to any early start on Monday morning, partly because Gracie was so excited about getting to the senior center and unpacking her toys, she was out of bed before dawn. All the way to Morning Star the two of them chatted happily, as though having an apartment during the week—a new home away from home—was a fresh start for both of them.
As they pulled into the parking lot, Rose saw that Matthias was waiting for them. Gracie was all smiles as he came over to help her out of the rig, and she wrapped her legs and arms around him in a huge hug.
“We haven’t seen you in forever, Matthias!” the little girl exclaimed.
Matthias winked at Rose as he enjoyed Gracie’s attention. “Jah, it’s been a whole day and a half, honey-girl,” he teased.
“You can come see us anytime you want now,” Gracie prattled on, “coz we live here! We can play in the park and—and have picnics and all sorts of fun stuff!”
“That’s a happy thought. I’ll think on it while I work in my shop this week,” Matthias replied as he lowered her to the pavement. “And I’ll take real gut care of Daisy, too. She’ll have my horses for company now, so she won’t be all by herself.”
“And denki for helping us this way,” Rose put in. “There’s half a bag of feed and a couple bales of hay in the surrey—”
“And luggage I can carry in for you before I go,” Matthias added. His smile did funny things to Rose’s stomach. “I’ve never known women to travel without a bunch of clothes and stuff—”
“Jah, the stuff is mine!” Gracie crowed. “I brought my chalkboard and everything!”
Rose grabbed the garment bag, watching Matthias heft the big suitcase and the duffel of Gracie’s toys without any apparent effort. Why did he appear so handsome today? He was wearing a purple shirt and gray trousers with black suspenders—nothing out of the ordinary for a Plain man—yet something about his smile and his manner seemed different. She walked ahead of him to open the door with her free hand.
“Gracie, do you remember how to find our apartment?” Rose asked as they stepped inside the senior center. “You lead the way—but remember that some folks are still sleeping.”
Gracie pressed her finger upon her lips. Without a moment’s hesitation, she hurried down the hallway ahead of Rose and Matthias.
“She’s excited about this move,” Matthias said as he strode beside Rose. “But truth be told, so am I. I hope it’ll be all right if I stop over now and again? Maybe after you’ve finished serving these folks their supper?”
Butterflies fluttered in Rose’s stomach. “Oh, Gracie will love that!”
Matthias smiled knowingly. “And what about you, Rose?”
Rose felt like a little girl who’d been offered an extra dessert after dinner. “I—I’d like that, jah,” she whispered. “I don’t think Sherrie will mind if I visit with you now and again.”
Matthias glanced up to see where Gracie had gone, his expression thoughtful. “If you’d rather not visit with me where the residents can watch, we could go for walks or—or even go to my place. It’s just down the road.”
Rose’s eyes widened. “Oh, I don’t know about that,” she said worriedly. “It seems awfully private, awfully soon, to be at your place—”
“Rose.” Matthias stopped before turning down the next hallway and gazed into her eyes. “We’re adults, both of us married before,” he reminded her gently. “It’s not like we need a chaperone, and if Gracie comes along, that’ll be fine, too. But once in a while—when you feel all right with it—I’m hoping to see you, just the two of us. I like you, Rose. A lot.”
For a moment, she couldn’t breathe. What would it be like to spend time with a man who wasn’t her husband? She’d married Nathan when she wasn’t yet twenty, and she hadn’t dated many fellows before he’d started courting her.
Gracie’s exaggerated whisper brought Rose out of her swirling thoughts. “Mamma! Here we are!”
Rose looked down the hall, where Gracie was bouncing up and down in front of a door, pointing at it as the strings of her little kapp fluttered around her face. “Sometimes this little girl amazes me,” she murmured to Matthias as she started walking again.
“Wish I had half her energy,” he said with a chuckle. “Just think about what I said, okay?”
Rose felt her cheeks turning pink. She was grateful that none of the residents were opening their doors to peer out at her. “I will,” she assured him. “I just need a little time.”
Matthias nodded and carried the big suitcase into their apartment, but Rose could tell her response had disappointed him. After Gracie gave him a quick tour, he left so he could drive Daisy and the rig to his place before he started work in his harness shop. When Rose caught sight of him out their side window, she suddenly realized she had no way to reach Matthias if they needed the horse and rig during the week. Without a word to Gracie, she sprinted out of the apartment and down the hall.
“Matthias!” Rose called out as she raced out the door. “Matthias, wait!”
Daisy had just turned onto the street, but with a word from Matthias, the mare began to back up. Laughing, Rose waited on the sidewalk for the rig to reach her.
Matthias tugged on the lines to stop the horse. He opened the window, smiling. “Seems I’ve left you breathless, Rose,” he teased.
“Maybe you have,” she admitted. “I should probably have your phone number, in case I need the rig before Friday. There’s a tablet and a pen under the seat.”
“Do you think I give my number to just any woman who asks?”
When Matthias leaned down to find the paper, Rose tho
ught hard. It had been a long while since she’d teased a man, or flirted. . . .
“I had your number the moment I first ran into you at the mercantile, Matthias Wagler,” Rose asserted boldly.
Matthias sat up and gazed at her. He jotted his number and address on the top piece of paper, tore it out with a flourish, and handed it to her. “Running into you is the best thing I’ve done in a long while, Rose,” he murmured. “Have a gut week. And don’t think you can’t call me for something besides your horse. Got a phone in your apartment?”
Rose blinked. “I don’t know. There’s one in the kitchen, but—” When she glanced toward the building, Gracie was watching them with her hands and nose pressed against the window, so she waved.
“We’ll figure it out. Hope to see you real soon, Rose.”
She watched Matthias drive down the driveway. When she glanced at the piece of paper, she sucked in air. After the phone number and address, he’d written XXOO, in large, bold strokes.
Hugs and kisses. When she could catch her breath again, Rose folded the paper twice and tucked it into her apron pocket. If Gracie saw what Matthias had written, Rose would never hear the end of it. Ever since Nathan had written XXOO in the flour on the countertop where Rose had been making bread, Gracie had known the meaning of those letters—even before she’d known the letters of her name.
Hugs and kisses . . . maybe those are good things, coming from Matthias, Rose thought as she started for the door. Maybe this move to Morning Star is the start of something more wonderful than I can imagine.
* * *
On Tuesday, when Rose had helped Alison clean up after lunch, she agreed with Gracie that they should take a walk. It was a bright, cheerful day—warm for the last week of April—and they both needed the fresh air and exercise. “Let’s go out the front way, Mamma,” Gracie suggested eagerly. “It’s closer to the park and the swings!”
Gracie forgot all about playing outdoors, however, when she saw the two Plain women who were coming in the front door. The little girl sucked in her breath, looked to Rose for permission—and then ran full tilt toward Anne and Martha Maude Hartzler. Rose prayed fast and hard that Gracie wouldn’t say anything she shouldn’t.
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